Truer words have never been spoken.

Excuses me, why isn't this on top?

Always remember a customer that I had fitted carpets for saying, "lucky for you it was such an easy job" I said "after twenty years it's weird how the more I do the job the easier it gets"

Very relatable!

Fun idea, but I wouldn't feel right putting my friends through that misery.

True words

BAHAHAHAHAHA! Love it.

If you can WFH, you're not allowed to be 100% sick.

We're censoring "stupid" now? How stupid.

Not bad but leaves you open for "Sorry if I'm going too fast for you".

I usually just call them an idiot. Works every time.

Learn on-demand eye twitching.

Yes!!! I have used this phrase so much with stupid ideas for efficiency

I like it but it assumes that there was a thought process?

Hands down, best thing about having kids.

Yeah, unless you work in IT, then you are more likely comparing notes on the new system, and whether your job critical software works on the newer version, or do you need to delay rolling it out longer.

Oh, I do this a LOT. She'll be like "well, I already knew that" or "I don't need to be in this email chain," and I'll go "you asked me about this, so I assumed you'd want to know about that as well." I think the message is pretty clear.

Evil but satisfying.

But every company wants 110%

Guilty

I would definitely bring popcorn for this.

I bring a kind of “I spent 5 days a week surrounded by people who made me traumatised when I WAS a kid” vibe to these kind of conversations that the OPs don’t really like.

And let me tell you, that's a fine line to walk without occasionally toppling over.

Yet they don’t pay for it hm…

Yep questions like do you take milk - no I'm. vegan. Would you like. biscuit - are they vegan? Would you like a cake/chip/ most anything going round in an office. You can take something and jus throw it in the bin - and they get upset. You can just say 'no thanks' and you'll be asked why not. Can't win really.

LMAO

And it will lose

I like to go that extra milestone and add retirement 😘

Guilty as charged.

At my job if the power went out for two hours we got to go home and it went off for like an hour and 40 minutes we were so excited haha

10 minutes of pre-dread warmup, then the actual time to do so, then really get up ( to turn off the alarm)

I hear ya, Op.

I tell myself I am going to slack on my work like 70% of the people in our department, but I just cannot do it. I annoy myself.

Haha I love those Friday afternoon emails. “Dear person. Your inability to organise yourself does not constitute an emergency on my part”

True dat.

There's a name for that. It's called Rectal Glaucoma. It's when you just can't see your a*s coming to work today.

How do I get myself said demon?

Let’s set up a gym that morphs in to a bar in late February

That's the longest 2 weeks of your life.

I love this! "She sent that email before checking it over. It's not a mistake you can afford to make at this level."

Nope my job is more like "unless you're dying or in the hospital you BETTER be here!" And now everybody is sick.

I work on contract basis. Grab a rate rise practically every time I switch employers.

if there were no taxes, your employer would still only pay you the same net pay.

Why not keep the "sliding doors" concept many of us in Europe already have, you clock in anytime between 7 and 9 and clock out 8 hours later accordingly?

OHHH... you mistook that for a REQUEST....

I always return back to work on a Wednesday or Thursday - no way I'm doing a full week straight after a break.

I define working out by remembering to take the trash out and the fact my neighbors park illegally and I get to walk 1/2 a mile home @4am so I guess I’m winning??

I'm a boomer and I'm going to relate a true story from 6 weeks ago. I called customer service for a lawn equipment company and was on hold for 2 hours waiting for tech person who could actually answer my question. It took her 3 minutes to resolve my issue. BTW, I wouldn't have called if their online help forum and chat support hadn't been so useless. This is why I never call customer support. Cheers.

You just type back "STOP". Duh.

While some people are just going through the daily motions when they ask, some of us ask "how was work?" what we mean is "I am here if you need to unleash, this is a safe space to vent."

We used to call that, "Attitude Adjustment Day."🤭

Me, a New Zealander: *Dante from Clerks 2 voice* Leave the people of Yemen alone, Randall! (The CEO of our airline, whose name is Greg, sold weapons to the Saudi military, who used them to blockade Yemen. Either that or his predecessor did and he covered it up. His predecessor is now our prime minister btw. 🤮)

Years ago, I found an ink pad stamp that said:" F**k Off! Stronger memo to follow" . Oh, how I would have liked to use it!