I love the cat. That is my kind of glare!

Can i join to watch the dogs?

It is a cat's sacred duty to protect the soft can-opener from bed-mice. If they eat you, who will open our cans?

I said what i says Doc

That is a cool rock🤩

Been there, done that.

And so perpetual motion was born..

I will not get in the basket! *cue the sorta high speed chase

I'm not that cute

We Catholics ordered a German Shepherd and got Pope Benedict XVI

I only got drunk once in my whole 36-year-life so far - all the way back when I was 18 or so, at a classmate's party. Had zero prior experience with alcohol, tried a bit of this, a bit of that, didn't eat much beforehand... and then I participated in a game where, if you were caught lying (or something, I never got the rules straight), you had to drink a shot of tequila. My crush was playing too, which didn't help, and somehow, no matter what I did, I always ended up having to drink a shot. In the end, my Mom came to pick me up. To my credit, I never puked - but to this day, I have never touched tequila again (it almost triggers me when I even see a bottle) and actively avoid ever getting sh*t-faced again.

Fair enough.

This is England's roads now. After the Tories paid billions to their mates in contracts.

Tastes like copper

It's because I know you're going to ask for another lemonade and a side of ranch and my feet hurt!

Maybe you just didn't notice them because they were being so quiet.

That is certainly some invisible tape

I do it because I don't want people to know I'm a ghost.

I know them. I don't like them. Stop showing them to me!

You would be disgusted to know how many 13 year old girls have be SA'ed sometime in their short life.

Probably cheaper to buy a new tire than pay the fines.

If you ever ate rice cakes, you know what walls taste like.

Can we assume those are plus sized cups?

And not the surgery I need next week.

I work in a restaurant. I pretend I haven't taken a gummie on my 4th double in a row.

RIP. He was so funny and sweet.

Runners would never win a fight but they don't need to.

So true. My abusive af ex was a vet and worked at a hospital (prob still does) He was written up three times for using "excessive force" with patients... so essentially beating patients up. He didn't get fired. I'm so glad I got away from him alive and I really hope he eventually got fired and lost his license.

Being included is overrated. Being forgotten is where it's at

And trying to keep said leg/body straight cause bending will only make it worse

If you hear your name with a question mark before you reached the coffee machine...

Sounds like a reasonable explanation to me 🤔

Hah, what about getting stuck in your throat

I'm pretty sure there is happiness in my cart.

I heard a psychologist saying that 80% of her patients had issues related to financial strains, so yes. It DOES buy happiness

Poverty buys unhappiness.

The truth to this statement is that if you're unhappy about life itself, money will not cure that. It will make you very comfortably unhappy but you can still be sad. Having said that most people's life issues are related to a lack of money and can be instantly fixed with a duffel bag of 100s

You can't buy happiness with money, but it's one of the better subscription plans.

It might not buy happiness but at least you can be miserable in comfort.

Damn well my house says otherwise!

Yup, whoever says that is poor. 'cause, yes it does. Been dirt floor poor, and doing O.K.. O.K. is much better.

It helps.

Money can't buy real happiness; on the other hand, you can buy your way out of a ton of misery.

starvation, destitution and the mandatory need to bust your gut all day just to reach next pay-cheque is not happiness. So let's agree that money helps!

Ever heard of adopting a puppy?

I can get sunshine in a bag...so money can and does buy happiness.

I have bills and i have dollars bills. So confused.

Just seeing this pic and I started coughing.

You and me are not friends, boss.

The gossip is real tho-

To respond to the text “I’m by your house” one simply must say, “ Cool, but I’m not home”

Naps and someone to prepare your food for you. That's the life.

The night shift isn't the problem. Sleeping during the day while dogs and cars and lawnmowers are awake is the problem.

I love this picture