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You’d be hard-pressed to find someone who doesn’t like comedy! Luckily for us, the internet is chock-full of comedians—amateur and veteran alike—who light up social media with their quips and funny insights.
Today, our team at Bored Panda is featuring some of the most hilarious posts and comments, as shared by the women of X (formerly Twitter). Scroll down to check them out! These should brighten your day. And we hope you have a notepad handy because if you’re looking for humor-related inspiration, this is digital gold!

#3

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Kiem Gallagher
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3 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I just always press whatever number the "I want to pay" option is and it will immediately take me to a human and then I break it to them that I'm not trying to pay, I'm trying to complain so please transfer me to customer service.

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The BBC reports that it’s not just human beings that enjoy a good laugh. Some species of animals are into humor as well! Not only that but they might also use it to strengthen the bonds between them.

A study from the University of California Los Angeles looked at great apes’ daily routines. Our closest living relatives, including orangutans, chimpanzees, bonobos, and gorillas, were found to tease each other.

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VikingAbroad
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3 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I really thought there was something wrong with my new washing machine. The 30 minute programme is actually a 40 minute programme. Just, why? And why do I forget this fact from one day to the next?

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“What we saw often was that a juvenile would sneak up behind an adult that was busy grooming another ape, and proceed to poke them or hit them on the back, sometimes even surprising them,” Isabelle Laumer, one of the researchers of the study, told the BBC.

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Huddo's sister
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3 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The thing is, they are addictive to those who don't need them, not those prescribed. It's crazy how many hoops you have to jump through, when addicts are just getting them on the street anyway. I don't know anyone with ADHD who would give up their meds for cash, since they are the only things that make them feel 'normal'.

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James016
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3 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I saw one with my own eyes a couple of weeks ago for the very first time. They really have a just because you can, doesn't mean you should vibe. They can't be sold here in the UK as they are too heavy and don't meet crash protection standards.

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“They'd then wait and watch for the adult's response. Usually, the target would just ignore them, and so they'd persist in their teasing, making the behavior more and more elaborate and difficult to ignore, until they sometimes ended up slamming the adult with their entire body.”

This sort of behavior is akin to human beings sticking their tongues out at someone else and then running away.

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Other species of animal are likely to have a sense of humor, too. Other species of animals are likely to have a sense of humor, too. Dogs, foxes, wild coyotes, and wild wolves also tease each other, as researched by Marc Bekoff from the University of Colorado, Boulder.

The ecology and evolutionary biology expert added that he’s also heard stories of some species acting like stand-up comedians and jokesters. Among these animals are horses, Asian black bears, and the scarlet macaw.

Meanwhile, the BBC also reports that rats are ticklish while dogs and chimps can actually laugh.

#13

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Dani M
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3 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yeeeeees! Cold nights, warm and cozy blankets and PJ's. Summer nights are too damn hot

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Ace
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3 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

"Now, Mr Spiggott, you, a one-legged man, are applying for the role of Tarzan.... A role traditionally associated with a two-legged artiste.... A role for which two legs would seem to be the minimum requirement. "

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JB
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3 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

And then suing your advertisers because them choosing to not advertise next to white supremacist propaganda infringes on your...free speech...to get paid...by them...???

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It’s hard to argue about comedy because each of us has a unique sense of humor. What you find funny can be subtly different from what makes your family and friends giggle. Meanwhile, a coworker or passing acquaintance of yours might not even smile at the things that make you wheeze with laughter.

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The same holds true for social media posts: a lot depends on your personal taste and what humorous content you grew up with. Some internet users are huge fans of dark humor with an edge. Some prefer cheesy and silly dad jokes. Others might enjoy more subtle, nuanced, and layered jokes that really make you think.

#16

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Johnny McFearless
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3 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

For God's sakes woman, it was you from the future who invented the time machine, did betting on all the correct results she knew, and wanted to win money in the past so that you could have fun!

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At the end of the day, no comedian is going to satisfy their entire audience. Not everyone will laugh. However, that’s the way of the world.

You can’t make everyone happy, no matter what. But if enough people are giggling and guffawing at your content, you can add your joke or quip to your list of successes.

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Pan Narrans
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3 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm early and park in the same spot for years. When I have a new car people are astonished when they see me. 'I thought you had a day off.' Sometimes I'm late and that spot is taken. When I walk in a college saw me 'oh, I thought you had a day off, sorry'. I've never claimed that spot.. humans are creatures of habit.

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However, if your skits and posts don’t make much of a splash, whether in person or online, you may want to consider changing things up. You should also consider the feedback you get. There will always be folks who hate what you do, no matter how high you rise.

So, you need to look at what criticism is valid and helpful and what’s simply people venting because they’re in a bad mood. If you take every negative comment to heart, you’ll soon lose any and all motivation that you had.

#22

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Chihuahua Mama
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3 months ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yeah, why though? A fridge is a very normal appliance to have in your home.... edit: in US and Canada appliances are usually not hidden. The dishwasher, fridge and stove are all very much visible except in the wealthiest of homes

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#23

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Trillian
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3 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If you eat tuna OUT OF A CAN, IN YOUR BED, then I agree with the cats.

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Like Bruce Lee once said, “Absorb what is useful. Discard what is not. Add what is uniquely your own.” Finetune your comedy until you’re making more and more people laugh. Of course, that’s easier said than done. It requires a ton of patience, lots of passion, and the willingness to experiment until you get things right.

#25

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NapQueen
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3 months ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

"The largest glass of wine you have, please" would be at the top of my list, or 'where's the best place to have a nap?'

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Truly successful comedians iterate and polish their quips over time. They have a growth-oriented mindset and see failure as a lesson in the making, not as the mark of something ‘bad.’

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When you stop avoiding failure and set your ego aside, you can grow incredibly quickly. It also helps if you can quickly get to grips with what your audience likes. You wouldn’t try to amuse a crowd full of cheesy joke-lovers with edgy humor, and vice versa.

Which of these tweets made you chuckle the most, dear Pandas? Were there any that genuinely got you laughing out loud? What kind of comedy do you prefer in person, and what quips do you enjoy the most on social media? What’s the best joke you’ve recently seen pop up on your social media feed?

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We’d love to hear from you! Share your thoughts in the comments.

#31

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Pandarosa
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3 months ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If anything could persuade me to marry, it's this gorgeous dress! Edit: and the right person, of course. Forgot that bit for a second.

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#33

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Red PANda (she/they/he/ze)
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3 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Bahahaha I feel this! When my social battery runs out it’s time to just follow my friend around like a shadow for the rest of the party

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#37

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Pandamonium
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3 months ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Mine is a bit dramatic. It used to send me alerts saying it was stuck on a cliff and then I would find it dangling over the edge of the stairs

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#39

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𝐆𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐦-𝐏𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐚
Community Member
3 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Just a thought.... that's when you pop a small rodent in your mouth, chew it like gum for the blood, and spit out the leftovers into a napkin. Just sayin....

𝐆𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐦-𝐏𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐚
Community Member
3 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yeah, but scabs are dry, and when you wet them, are texturally gross. They aren't so much crunchy when wet as they are gooey.

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CanadianDimes
Community Member
3 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Do they need blood the way we need water? Like if they drink only that, it's not enough, but they must ensure they get enough to survive?

𝐆𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐦-𝐏𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐚
Community Member
3 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Most stories imply it's a universally nourishing food, for them, and they don't need anything but blood. Many stories even say that solid food can make them sick. So those were the guidelines I went with.

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Kris
Community Member
3 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You have to live forever and you cant even have pizza. Must be hell

Carilyn Beverly
Community Member
3 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Why am I imagining blood filled boba??? LOL I know it's not "crunchy" but that's the first thing that came to mind LOL

DC
Community Member
3 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

... leave it out to dry, and make sure the source doesn't have a mechanical prosthetic valve in their heart. That may increase prep time for anything requiring scab rather than liquid blood. Is scab used, like, cheese melting over stuff and then developing into a crust? In vampires' recipe books, I mean? I've never eaten scab, but ... I guess any predator regularly does so anyway, a vampire might even develop a taste for it, huh?

𝐆𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐦-𝐏𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐚
Community Member
3 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Would be more like cheese, I think. When re-moistened, scabs get sort of gooey. So not a crunchy food, but maybe as cheese substitute...

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Kat
Community Member
3 months ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

They can eat food. They just need "blood".

Horosho Bodka
Community Member
3 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Eat regular food for the mouth feel and enjoyment... and fresh blood for nourishment. It's simple really...

LastButNotLeast
Community Member
3 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Well, in South of Italy, we make "sanguinaccio" a mix of chocolate, almonds and pig's Blood .. for more recepies... Follow me!😅

Brenda
Community Member
3 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I don't gross out easily, but I'll make an exception afteng about that 🤢

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Magenta Blu
Community Member
3 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I would be very happy if i didn't have to eat anything crunchy anymore... Why people like noisy food is beyond my imagination...

Pedro
Community Member
3 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Be a Scottish vampre. Make black pudding (blood sausage) then batter it and deep fry it. Don't forget the chips n gravy 😁

Lewis KR
Community Member
3 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

In True Blood they just kidnapped humans and made them eat one food for weeks so their blood tasted different. Then presumably killed them. Very unsustainable

Community Member
3 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Marceline would disagree, she goes on all sorts of adventures with PB

General Stukov
Community Member
3 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Different blood can taste different im sure more iron, kinda deal

Natty Tempest
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Imagine the time that frees up! Let me get a virgin out of the cell. Hypnotise, long white gown. Chomp. That's breakfast, lunch and... Eiw! Are you vegan? Dangit Rosa!

keyboardtek
Community Member
3 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

And the bad odors! Inside a 300 year old coffin to sleep. Musty old basements where no sunlight can kill the mold.

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#40

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#41

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Alexa
Community Member
3 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That is exactly the kind of feedback one needs when ordering tapas. How little are these little plates?!?! It varies! Who knows! How many DO I NEED??!!!!?

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#44

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PeepPeep the duck
Community Member
3 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Waiter IRL ‘ sorry we don’t actually have watering cans at this restaurant’ In the waiters head ‘why the fùçķ would we have a watering can at work’ (we generally water plants at work with a beer jug 😂).

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#45

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#49

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Mitchell
Community Member
3 months ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

No, no. When you’re 60 and pass for 50, you will thank younger you. Just get the good stuff and keep your face out of the sun, even with sunblock.

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#52

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Bat cat in a hat
Community Member
3 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I go out in the garden to put food out for the birds every.single.day for nearly 5 years. They all fly away when I merely open the kitchen door to step out. My partner was BUILDING A FLIPPIN DECK the other day, lots of sewing, drilling, hammering, and aaaaaaallllll the birds were chirp-chirping around him like Snow bloody White. Pissed me off so much, the ungrateful feathery rats! (Still love them though, it's a toxic relationship I know 😆)

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#54

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General Anaesthesia
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3 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Mum being the term for Mom outside of the US and Canada, I'm assuming that the football mentioned here is called soccer in the US and Canada.

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#55

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Lotekguy
Community Member
3 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Try "what color is the sun on your home planet?". They might not get the point, but I feel better.

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#56

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B
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3 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I heard Van Halen in the grocery store the other day Sigh

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#57

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Mimi La Souris
Community Member
3 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Not to mention depression, I understand this register, I almost proposed a man once just because he said "please excuse me" after barely shoving me at the supermarket. His voice, but his voice!

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#64

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Shark Lady
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3 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

At least you stopped at "bless you" I usually say "bless you my child, for you have sneezed" and get really strange looks!

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#72

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Pandarosa
Community Member
3 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Reading this put the fear of god inside me, I've got 2 assessments due Friday and a sh^t-ton of procrastination juice left to burn, HELP!!!

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#73

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Pedro Badan
Community Member
3 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

She means whippit, which is nitrous oxide (used as a drụg). I didn't understand it either, I looked up the original thread where someone explained it.

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#75

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Weirdo with Internet
Community Member
3 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Does Alaska count as western us? Or is it still considered frontier. I think most people forget about it.

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#80

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rorschach-penguin
Community Member
3 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is not gaslighting. People have got to stop using terms they don't understand.

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#81

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jonesnori
Community Member
3 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I like "appease" instead of "fawn" because it rhymes with "freeze", but of course it doesn't start with an F.

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Marianne
Community Member
3 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You can't leave the app while the code field is empty, or your progress will be deleted. But you can't get the code from your other app while not changing your screen. Also for security reasons, you can't copypaste this 16 digit code.

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Lotekguy
Community Member
3 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I don't share your dream, but I love the way you stated it. Hope you get there.

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#86

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Cecilie Hammershøy
Community Member
3 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I call my account Schrodinger's account. Maybe there's money in maybe not, but as long I don't check it both are an option.

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Calum Joseph
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3 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Taylor should make customised songs for her fans which are about whatever their ex's did

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Joanne Hicks
Community Member
3 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Once saw two blondes sitting in the back of a red convertible as we walking to a parking lot. These two gals had beautiful scarves covering their hair. As we passed they weren't humans but afghans. We had just attended a regional dog show. How dumb of us. We still laugh about the two blondes.

#90

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driedgrapes
Community Member
3 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Think of your PTO requests as friendly notifications to your employer. You aren't asking permission. You're notifying them of your adulthood and your ability to make plans.

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Pandarosa
Community Member
3 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

After dying my regrowth: in the best of all possible worlds I am living my perfect life, I have never felt so together, this afternoon I will run for prime minister of Australia and invite the Clooneys to dinner.

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Lotekguy
Community Member
3 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That's mellowing since the teen years of calling those with the most acne "pizza face".

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BewilderedBanana
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3 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Depending on the body, the watch might go completely unnoticed forever :)

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cerinamroth
Community Member
3 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You should have seen me buffering the first time I was reading aloud and hit the word "ricochet"

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athornedrose
Community Member
3 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

you don't know that. i'm my own biggest threat. gotta stop the thoughts from helping me achieve that.

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Pandarosa
Community Member
3 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I finally started watching Downton Abbey, my housemate and I have gone all plummy and I love it!

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FoxEcoLimaIndiaCharlieIndiAlfa
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3 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I've lately become an extremely amateur Ornithologist. The Merlin app is amazing for anyone interested I'm birds/bird watching.

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#111

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clairebear
Community Member
3 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

One of the most awkward traits of autism (and there are many) is you start copying the accent of the person you are speaking to. You have to make a determined effort to stop. Sometimes so determined, you forget to listen to what they were saying.

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#115

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Tajeline Report

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#116

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SydneyBattle Report

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BarfyCat
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3 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I love Topo Chico, but only because they stopped selling Apollinaris in my town and Jermuk can't be imported to the U.S. because it has too much arsenic 😭

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#118

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sarahroseetter Report

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#120

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thecityofjules Report

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Ace
Community Member
3 months ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Err, and? What's the skin colour and cuisine got to do with anything here?

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