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Deep down, many people feel like they could actually make it as a comedian. While this is a widely misguided concept for the majority of the population, a simple scroll through the comments section on a random post will show that there is a lot of untapped talent out there. 

The “Murdered By Words” Instagram page gathers the hilarious and sometimes savage comments people have left under other people’s posts. So get comfortable as you read through, upvote your favorites and maybe try your own hand in the comments section below. 

More info: Instagram

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Delenn
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11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It does not work always. If it worked there won't be antivaxxers and flat earthers. Or Trump.

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John Harrison
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The fact that Bear is being upvoted and Becky is being downvoted is crazy. It should be the opposite. The guy talking about anti-vaxxers understands that the OP is a joke, but he's still saying that that's how ridiculous anti-vaxxers sound.

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Bill Kubeck
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Well maybe, just maybe, it's carbon monoxide and not the detector. But then, I believe the earth is round, so don't take my word on it.

Roger9er
Community Member
11 months ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Please tell me people aren't this stupid. The first lines are a joke, right? Right?

JayWantsACat
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Definitely a joke but with the type of people we know exist, it's understandable to wonder.

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Mike Honcho
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Natural selection won't work if she's already been breeding 🤷

Cam Schmit
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

FUN FACT: if you or any of your family members say they're seeing ghosts, check for carbon monoxide and make sure your detectors are working. It causes hallucinations

Shelli Aderman
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I REALLY hope that Ruthie is a parody account! 🤦🏽‍♀️

Wondering Alice
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

On evening at my parents the carbon monoxide alarm went off. Me and my dad rushed it outside so as not to wake my mum who had been feeling ill. We couldn't work out how to take the batteries out. Luckily a passing dog walker realised just how stupid we were being and ran in to open all the windows and shut off the fire. Really close call, and very very stupid.

Joseph Lacko
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It was a joke tweet that “mudfishscientist” turned into a divisive statement that all of you continue to allow to get under your skin. Take a breath, research what you see on these “news” channels, and think before responding.

Valek Fermiga
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Not sure what's worse ; the fact that she single handedly became the stupidest person, OR, that there was 3701 people who agree with her....

KimB
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

And she has red lips! Medical people will understand ;)

josh singer
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

"What you want to do is put your mask on, then go and suck on a tail pipe for 10 mins. The mask will filter anything harmful and because you are huffing CO your body will be immune in the future" - vaxxers

Kathi Schäffer
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The good news is, soon your headache won't be a problem anymore.

James Alfano
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Does anyone see the correlation between this tweet and the state of Washington attacking drug abuse by giving drug addicts needles .

jay grant
Community Member
11 months ago

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bruce platt
Community Member
11 months ago

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Cammy Mack
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11 months ago

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As someone who is vaxxed: who cares if someone chooses not to? Why does it bother everyone so much? Mind your own business.

Did I say that out loud? (he/him)cis/het
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm guessing that you use your headlights when you drive at night. If I choose not to, then what business is it of yours or anyone else?

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PoseyRosey2
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11 months ago

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Liam Parks
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11 months ago

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agreed. my parents have never vaccinated me before and im never gonna take a shot

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Mental Liberals
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11 months ago

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While we do think of comment sections as an innovation of the Internet age, in one form or another, they have existed since at least the 1500s. In what now we would call Germany, it was common practice (at least among the literate) to “post” one’s ideas in public places, often to literal posts.

The most famous example of this is probably Martin Luther's Ninety-five Theses, nailed to the door of the All Saints' Church in Wittenberg, Saxony-Anhalt, Germany in 1517. Of course, this would only be the practice of people who could read and write and had the time and resources to buy parchment and ink. The internet is ultimately the tool that brought mass commenting to the majority of the population.

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lily jones
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11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Good thing he has a bottle of water sitting right there on the table, he'll need it for that burn

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sadmrguna
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11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Gah! This one annoys me sooo much. The purpose of masks is not to protect the wearer, but the people around the wearer. I suppose that explains why selfish people mostly don't wear them...

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While internet forums are generally older, the first “comments section,” as we might call it these days was created in 1998, for the digital edition of The Rocky Mountain News. This publication was a real trailblazer, as it also featured one of the first “advice” columns, where readers could ask questions. 

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This, perhaps, is what inspired them to open up the publication to reader comments, as a means of creating engagement and loyalty. This practice would soon become the norm, as newspapers, magazines, fan pages, and the first attempts at social media all began allowing people to share their thoughts on a post, article, or page.

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Bob Brooce
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11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It's not the first time something like that happened, and often the victim thinks the undamaged bible is proof of god.

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lily jones
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11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

She might wanna jump in the ocean to get some water on that burn (sorry I promise I'll stop now)

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Now, comment sections are so common that there are entire genres of content based on asking for interactions. From posts that are just questions, to people “selecting” things from “what house you prefer” to favorite brunch items, people do love to share their two cents. This has spawned an entire cottage industry, like the list here, of finding and sharing the best comments.

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Bear Hall
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11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Sad, very sad when a culture, a whole nation just disappears, dissolves, and all is left a sappy story with a grain of truth in the middle. And the genes of the people unrecognizable for the eye.

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LauraDragonWench
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11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Knew it had to happen eventually. Gun control? No f*****g way! More taxes? Hell yeah!

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Indeed, if something has the option to add comments explicitly turned off, most people immediately wonder what exactly happened here. From trolling, and cyberbullying to intensely heated discussions, the anonymity of the internet often doesn’t exactly make for the most civil posts on controversial topics. 

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BrownTabby
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11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Memo to US restaurants: Apologies for not being clearer when I said you need to “fücking communicate”. If you’re not willing to say what that commenter said, at least say “in the USA we pay our servers $2.something per hour and the tip is to cover the rest of their pay.” If tourists call you barbaric for that, remember that locals also call you barbaric for it. :)

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A number of media outlets have actually closed down their comment sections over the last few years for these reasons. Vice Media closed theirs in 2016, as did NPR. IMDB closed their discussion boards (but not user reviews) a year later. In all of these cases, difficulty with moderation was the number one issue. 

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Two_rolling_black_eyes
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Plan A is to save the bees. However, Plan A isn't going very well. Plan B (or Bee) is what you come up with as a crappy alternative in case the main one completely fails. Someone has to make the survival nutrition bars in case a hurricane shows up before a hurricane shows up. Someone needs to figure out a work around in case all the bees die before all the bees die.

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Moderation is a tricky subject because the entire point of a comments section is to share a diverse set of opinions. After all, if literally everyone believed the same thing, there would be no need for anything but the initial post. However, as it so often happens, a small group of people can ruin things for the rest of us. 

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Malek Basata
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

9th century Saxons have pathetic heat endurance skills compared to 7th century Bedouins

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Research suggests that people who feel that their opinion is already widely supported tend to stay silent and often don’t even look at comments. This is perhaps why comment sections on any debatable topic can look so extreme, it’s only the folks with marginal views that take the time to write out what they think. 

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Rizzo
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If I would have to wear such a thing I would stop posting selfies where it is visible.

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As is quite easy to imagine, once you get a forum full of folks with the most extreme opinions, conflict is almost inevitable without strict moderation. Since that requires hiring dedicated staff and developing a constantly evolving policy around what is and isn’t allowed, it’s not surprising that so many pages have slowly decided to forgo comments entirely. 

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Google has been working on AI tools to help moderate, as it would appear there is a (sadly) growing market. However, a more human-centric approach has existed for a while, that is, the user-flagged comment option that you can even find here. In other words, comments that break the rules are simply reported and/or downvoted by other readers. 

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LauraDragonWench
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I thought sunglasses were part of the uniform? Did I get my information wrong?

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Full of Giggles
Community Member
11 months ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This coming from the same morons who tried to cut my farms’ electric predator fence and set my livestock free into the middle of the damn desert in July.

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Nonna_SoF
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Having a robust public transit system so I don't need to drive everywhere?

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lily jones
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11 months ago

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Mimi La Souris
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

to be honest, he is right, the kind of look parents give when they talk about their perfect child

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cyclonick295
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The fact that he will type "boomer" in its entirety and refer to the other word as the "n-word" speaks volumes about which is worse. They're not comparable in any way, shape, or form.

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Astro
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

As someone who hates dodgeball because I broke my glasses once and thus always got picked last in high school gym class: I agree! Cancel dodgeball! Inhumane! Torture!

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Vasana Phong
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Definitely not true, if this was the case then he wouldn’t have a beard either

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LauraDragonWench
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Well, at least you already have something cooling for that burn, even if it's not the right size. 😄

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Teutonic Disaster
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

He's not wrong tho. And with the way cost-of-living expenses go, that's actually some smart personal economizing.

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Bear Hall
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Well, when I fall in the shower I try to grab anything and everything.

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Haley Hansen
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

not to sound like a loser, but a gender studies course can be taken by anyone for a humanities credit, they don't have to be majoring in it. that said, i took one and it was actually a very informative class! it wasn't what i expected

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SadieCat17 (she/her)
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm sorry, but Chick-fil-A renounced any right to be funny by being run by pieces of s**t

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