People Love This Page’s Random Sense Of Humor, So Here Are 70 Of The Best Posts

Somebody stop me

So you’re saying he wood.

OH MY GOD! This is amazing! I need one for my computer desk!

That’s one way to get past the censorship…

Put in a Schoenberg CD instead.

F**k those guys

Quit remaking Dune. I don't care what the academy says; trying to remake the Fremen into Baptists was a stupid idea.

OMG! I'm dying here! Bwahahahahahahaha!

Toad-ally true.

That evil b***h! Anybody know her number? Asking for a friend.

Please make "sorry not sorry" go away forever as well, thanks.

CloPotato

CloPotato

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Except for my dad, who's cried only two tears once when the cat needed surgery, all the guys I know cry when they feel like it, and I'm glad they're overcoming years of conditioning and are able to express and process their emotions.

I hope they made manager, because brilliant!

I mozzarella look into this.

Must be why Taco Bell is my fast food god!

I have big balls, you have big balls, we all have big balls________

I'm happy to date someone who is as mentally ill as I am, with the caveat that we can't both be spiralling at the same time. This works out OK though as I am rarely calmer then when someone else near me is panicking. Like my subconscious knows that there's only room for one set of panic right now.

M-oof.

I lol'd at this one.

"I do be' belongs on Meghan's list of phrases to retire.

Not even an adult, but laundry. Especially if you’re going to do it right: separating pale and dark colors, taking out the ones that can’t be machine-dried, removing stains…

Cream cheese would also work. Because I definitely deserve some cream cheese.

What?! Candy corn is amazing!

CloPotato

CloPotato

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Yeah, efforts not paying up, seeing the world around us go nuts and about to burst into flames, being surrounded by hatred because a guy in the bus wearing a golden outfit sure is unusual, but old people insulting him for that is just pure rudeness -and I'm not even mentioning systemic problems-, seeing that ai is about to change drastically our relationship to proof and reality, the climate changing and already making our lives difficult if not worse (the surge in deaths this summer is, at best, a mood dampener)... Need I go on?

Nope. Tried it, doesn't work.

Never thought of it, but yup!

Definitely not working customer service.

It's better!

Well, maybe they know you.

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Cannibal side of twitter

You have the right to remain stupid

Ummmmm, what?!

O.K., this is funny.

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In France I've worked a few jobs and internships that operated like this. If the work's done it's done, if it's not just come early another time and finish it -unless obviously it was a sensitive time with some emergencies.

Same

I’m passionate about cloth, so sew me!

'MickyD'? There's a MickDonald's?

You think those are scary, just look up a cassowary. Hey, that rhymes!

And looking cool doing it!

It's curtains for Zoosha.

If the noise didn't do it, the dog whould have smelled it.

Glad to know I'm following the Word!

So… grey person is intolerant of lactose intolerance.

I went to a Hare Krishna vegetarian restaurant in Suva, Fiji. It was excellent. I wish there was one near where I live.

Ruined it for everyone else too. Niiice

My grandparents lived with two other couples (inc Grandpas boss) in the forties because their house had been bombed. I think was probably just a house share.

Anyone who wants to stay away from me because I game is welcome to. We clearly wouldn't be happy together because I'm not going to stop playing PC games and TTRPGs with friends.

As a big tall man - it's all bluff. My daughter and wife are both stronger than I am. But it's a good bluff, it worked well once when I needed it to work.

I absolutely have to try this.

I've reached the point where I purposefully avoid everyone wearing anything Potter-related. I'm trans, majority of my friends are trans, and I've run out of patience with "nostalgia" about 25-years-old mediocre children's books.

What does he eat? His words?

At least when they are like that they don't have to pee.

I firmly believe those who say "Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels 🤪🤪" have never had a single good, or at least above-average, food in their lives

The best ever response I've seen to 'guys literally only want one thing and it's fúcking disgusting' was 'Try washing it.'