For decades, there has been scientific research focused on motherhood's unique contributions. The consensus is that "the relationship formed through a mother's attentive love provides the foundation for all of the other unique contributions of motherhood."

Scholar Sara Ruddick deemed these contributions reflections of "three central tasks" that provide the foundation of attentive love: to preserve children's lives and well-being, foster children's growth and development, and enable children to become acceptable contributors in society.

Here’s another quote that fits this article, this time by poet and preacher Edwin Chapin: “No language can express the power and beauty and heroism of a mother’s love.” We can all agree on this, but there is also research to back it up. 

Research from the University of Miami found that maternal sensitivity strongly influences language development in children with autism. The study defined maternal sensitivity as “a combination of warmth, responsiveness to the child’s needs, respect for his or her emerging independence, positive regard for the child, and maternal structuring.”

Dr. Jason Baker, co-founder of the California State University Fullerton Center of Autism, stressed the importance of proper parenting in the development of children with conditions like autism. 

“Parenting may matter even more for children with developmental problems such as autism because certain things that tend to develop easily in children with typical neurological development, like social communication, don’t come as naturally for kids with autism, so these skills need to be taught.”

It goes without saying that mothers have a profound impact on their children, and it differs between their sons and daughters. A 2023 paper published by researchers from Indiana University Bloomington suggested that the absence of a mother figure in a man’s life could lead to antisocial behavior, emotional issues, and juvenile delinquency. 

Further research revealed that the lack of maternal affection in males may cause a lack of attachment, which can lead to the inability to build deep, meaningful relationships with women. This individual may also develop trust issues because of the fear of abandonment. 

Experts interviewed for this study also mentioned other potential consequences, such as poor academic achievement, criminal behavior, and substance abuse when they grow older.

We now know how absentee mothers may affect their sons’ lives in the long run. But how about their daughters? How are the consequences similar or different? 

Author Peg Streep wrote books such as Mean Mothers: Overcoming the Legacy of Hurt and published an article in Psychology Today. Based on her own experiences, she mentioned a lack of confidence, distrust, difficulty setting boundaries, and oversensitivity, among other possible outcomes of maternal parenting where affection is almost absent.

“The unloved daughter doesn’t know that she is lovable or worthy of attention; she may have grown up feeling ignored or unheard or criticized at every turn. The voice in her head is that of her mother’s, telling her what she isn’t—smart, beautiful, kind, loving, worthy,” Streep wrote.

Mothers are supposedly a child’s source of affection. They are expected to provide a solid emotional foundation. But why do some end up depriving their sons and daughters? 

According to research, maternal depression (a.k.a postpartum depression) could be one reason. Experts note its symptoms to be higher levels of irritability and low mood. And since the sufferer mostly exhibits negative behaviors, their child suffers in the process. 

While experts see no single cause for maternal depression, they attribute it to physical changes, emotional issues, and genetics. Family history plays a significant role and could increase the likelihood of depressive episodes.

These photos appear to paint a picture of a healthy relationship between mothers and their adult children. But of course, this isn’t always the case. Some deal with a contentious dynamic with their grown-up sons and daughters, whether due to substance abuse or mental illness. And that can be a difficult environment. 

Judith Smith, a professor, researcher, and author of the book Difficult: Mothering Challenging Adult Children Through Conflict and Change, spoke with Fordham University’s Graduate School of Social Service and gave some tips for handling such a situation. 

First, she advises acknowledging the problem, which many mothers fail to do. “You have to allow yourself to recognize that you are uncomfortable with your adult child’s behavior. You have to let yourself ‘see,’” Smith said.