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Looking for a Christmas gift that the giant tool... Er, giant tool-lover in your life will love? Look no further than the Wenger 16999 Swiss Army Knife Giant. 674 Amazon customers can't be wrong, can they?

With over 87 implements, the sleek and subtle device is able to perform over 141 functions, from apple coring to fish scaling. It's a steal at just $9000 plus shipping, meaning you won't feel so bad about the second mortgage you'll need to take out to pay for it. According to users, if you leave the knife in your car overnight, it'll even fix it up, drive it into town, and return with 2 hookers and a cooler full of beer. Now that's value!

In case you're still having doubts, we've compiled some Amazon reviews from satisfied Wenger customers that will definitely sway you. If you're stumped on what to get everyone else on your list, check out some more products that received Amazon praise.

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#2

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just a thought !
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6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You know you bought the right thing when you "accidentally" repair engines ...

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Lilly Friedman
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6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If "truck" was replaced with "Impala," this would be a perfect episode of Supernatural.

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Royal_Emperor
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6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Although this is hilarious, i am considering the possibility very seriously.

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Misterscooter
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6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm more amazed that he got his money back for the original ticket.

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Mikleo
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6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

They just throw the knife from top of their mountains to disassemble the German artillery.

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Max
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6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You could have just asked it to read it for you. I'm sure it has AI somewhere in there.

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Cip IESAN
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6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Marty, you should read the users manual first! You must pull the third screwdriver twice, the toothpick once and the 115-th knife three times to come back in our time. But stay there, it's better! No, there is no risk of nuclear war and food is healthier! And you have no Facebook, lucky guy!

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Cip IESAN
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6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

One of the tools is a piece of kryptonite, so be careful!

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Cip IESAN
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6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I forgot to mention: one of the tools is a female mate! It's between the 11-th corkscrew and the sniper rifle.

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Slosh
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6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

WHOA! WHAT'S HAPPENING? IT'S IN MY HOUSE! IT'S DISM

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Cip IESAN
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6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Mine came home on it's own feet and he introduced himself, very politely. Now, it needs another beer...

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Ceili Fey Hause
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5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If you go the amazon and read the comment section, there are waaaaay more than are listed here, and all of them are golden XD

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