Started in June 2021, the ‘That name isn't a tragedeigh, it's a murghdyrr’ Facebook group is dedicated, in their own words, “For when CSI needs to be called. For the poor sad decomposed body of a name”. The private group is home to a collection of some of the most authentic—even if somewhat unusual, in most cases—names people have encountered, which has already amassed over 211k members.

It’s no surprise that the members have plenty to share, considering that naming a child is up to their parents' imagination (as long as it doesn’t cross certain lines of decency, of course). In Sweden—home to roughly 10 million people—for instance, around 186 000 people have unique names or unique spellings of names. It’s arguably safe to assume that in the US—a country of nearly 332 million people—the number of unique names ought to be way higher. (As a matter of fact, there are roughly 6,850 Americans whose name is Unique. As in, that’s their actual name.)

“It's a very personal decision, so anything really goes," psychiatrist Jean Kim, MD told Bored Panda in a recent interview. “You might worry (like my parents did—they picked my first name which was found in both Korean and English) about whether the name 'fits in' to a particular culture or era, or you might not really need to care about that aspect either, because people should try to respect all names anyway, as long as it isn't something blatantly obscene or hateful. You may even purposely want to honor a different culture or special person with a name. It's totally up to you.”

She added that having a unique name can be both a blessing and a curse. “On the one hand, an unusual name can be memorable and make a person unique or stand out in people's minds. On the other hand, people may treat it as strange or foreign, or even make fun of it if it's not part of the status quo of familiar names.”

“Names are one of the first things people find out about you—often before they have ever encountered you in person—so they carry a big impact and there are definitely some biases we have developed in terms of how we react to names,” Professor of Linguistics in the English department at University of Nevada, Valerie Fridland, told Bored Panda.

“Most of the feelings we develop about names come from socially or culturally learned associations we have with those names—e.g., if a name doesn’t sound like it is from the same culture or language, it might influence how others react to the person in ways that can affect their future. For instance, research reveals that we find more employment discrimination when employers view CVs with ethnic or foreign-sounding names compared to white-sounding names (similar results in the science/math fields have been found with typically female vs. male names).

“There are also names that might be old-fashioned or that have fallen out of fashion like Marge or Gertrude that might tend to call up unfavorable social associations (such as unfashionable, dowdy, boring) even if someone has not met the so-named person yet. Finally, some names might also sound like something else (e.g., Dick as a nickname for Richard) that listeners can’t help but call up when they hear the name, making those with those monikers have to deal with heckling or jokes (and the negative associations that come with those),” the linguist added.

Jean Kim pointed out that a person’s name is something that others perceive about them, so how others treat them can, for better or worse, be influenced by their name. “Perhaps names that 'fit in the crowd' can make people feel included, and others feel excluded, or be viewed as dated or dowdy if their name is viewed as of an older era.

“Gendering of names may also sometimes happen; for instance, women with boyish names may be viewed (whether true or not) as more assertive or spunky. Sometimes having an unusual name may also inspire someone to feel more creative or unique and individualistic. Names are, of course, one relatively small factor among many that influence a person's overall personality in the end.”

Psychiatrist Jean Kim emphasized that names are often associated with honoring others. “Surnames are handed down as a 'legacy' from generation to generation, but first names can be used to pay homage or honor someone and memorialize them as well. Perhaps even if there is no personal relationship, someone may like an aspect of a person with that name, especially celebrities or popularized fictional characters, and may hope their child fulfills those characteristics.”

Linguist and author Valerie Fridland seconded the idea that knowing someone with a certain name can alter the way a person views it. “Certainly, past experience with a name, like whether you had a girl named Sagel in 3rd grade that was super nasty to you or if you have met several Mikes who excelled in sports, can influence how you name your child since you will have been conditioned to have a negative reaction to names associated with negative experiences.”

“While a lot of times we want to give our child a unique name, some research shows that people with more common (or popular) names tend to have better social, self-esteem and employment outcomes,” Dr. Fridland told Bored Panda. “Some interesting German research found that, in online dating forums, having an unpopular name limited how many people viewed one’s profile and earlier research found that having a desirable name helped with social popularity in elementary school. 

“There is also research that suggests that those who like their names (regardless of how popular their names are) score higher on adjustment scales that measure self-esteem and social desirability; and if one encounters social rejection it may lead to them not liking their name. As a study carried out by Jean M. Twenge and Melvin Manis puts it, ‘What you think of your name has something to do with what you think of yourself.’” 

According to Valerie Fridland, “It is important to help your child come to see their name in a positive light (by either choosing one that is popular and therefore socially well accepted and known) or by providing positive associations with their name for them as they grow up (strong models of people with those names, a positive history of that name in their family, etc.).

“A key seems to be that children need to like their own names and that helps with self-esteem (which then helps with how they are perceived by others), though the thing that is hard to control is how others treat your child because of their name and, if negative, this may in turn affect how your child views themselves. Parents need to balance these different factors when considering whether to choose a more popular name or one that is not strongly marked or unique,” the linguist added.

“Name-signaling—where names give off messages about the ‘type’ of person someone is—does seem to have an effect on how people interact with others, and it does seem that more familiar and common names (which signal in-group identity) are more positively responded to. So, it is nothing about a name itself that intrinsically means anything, but instead the social associations it carries based on our experience,” Valerie Fridland explained.

Even though unique names can sound like music to one’s ears (or nails on a whiteboard), they are understandably less common. According to the Social Security Administration, the most popular names in the US over the last century have been James, Robert, John for boys and Mary, Patricia, Jennifer for girls respectively. None of the names shared on the ‘That name isn't a tragedeigh, it's a murghdyrr’ Facebook group seemed to have made the cut among the top ones.