Apply cold water to burned area.

Rofl

I would actually do that

Fifteen minutes later the police cought him and the two kids and his boss smoking pot outside his office

Took a while to get it...it actually is quite funny. Punctuation would have helped a lot, though.

Bwah hah hah

Is it bad that I feel like this will end up happening in a few decades?

Me

Hahahaha

OMG! LMFAO...

I always face posts abount unconveniently crying babies on planes. Why is it so especially hard on planes. I mean it's better than a crying pilot.

Why did I read that last sentence in Leafy's voice?

RIP.

Aren't birth certificates like baby receipts...:O

Dear people who don't use capital letters, We are the difference between helping your uncle jack off a horse and helping your Uncle Jack off a horse. Sincerely, Capital letters.

Bwahahaha!

LOLOLOL

Oh Yes!

My dog

Lol

arent violet actually violet? i always wondered..

Somehow, I'd feel better knowing that... It would explain a lot of flights!

actually it does apply to me! my siblings are much older and I was raised as an only child.

Cracked up...and the joke was funny too...

I'm going to remember that answer. It will be useful for me in the future!

lol

Lol nice

Plot twist: He is f*****g an Ikea salesman.

A proper geeky girl appreciates this enough to stay. XD

hahahahhaha, love it.

These modern mob bosses are so much less effective than the old school ones...

Sounds like a solid plan to me!

Oh, (rockabye baby in the tree tops).

this was Great

I do not understand

I am pretty sure this has really happened somewherre.

That's... new...

At least u found her alone

Who runs the world? Girls

This guy is good!

then make him partner in a bait shop

Well, that escalated quickly!

Wow, Hannibal lector is innocent?

Reasonable choice

:-D this was so cute!!

I like u.

*mouth trumpet noises*

I always thought clowns are creepy.

"Allllrighty then!"

It would be! :)

that's one way to settle things...why has no one thought of this before? Do away with lawyers and get right down to business.

That's deadpool

.. Duh dunn duhhnnnn... shortest Horror short! perfect..

Wait how does this fit into any sort of logic? LOL

Welp, can't argue with that statement

Well is it?