I would read a book of those origin stories

+1 to that Mom. Also, people need to quit stepping backwards in public places without looking behind them.

"Leave nothing out."

yes, they don't need to know how all the gubbins works. It just works.

Hilarious move xD

Best birthday ever!

THIS is funny!

Yeah, no school... instead there is this stupid job I need to be able to eat, wear clothes and have a home

Try "The Life of Elon," for a starter.

I’m about to buy a used wheelchair accessible van and I’m gonna do this

That’s why John denver left on a jet plane

Yes! I just need a little sneak peek

She needs her own group, called "Veg Out".

I think that's a valid point. Maybe my dosage needs to be upped.

I'm a very good mom to two furry babies and one not so furry baby

What a time to be alive

If these were cheap and I felt inclined to wear heals, I’d probably get these.

Kalikima

Kalikima

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It's ridiculous how expensive everything has gotten..

As long as she isn't crying because you're still alive...

I think box is a perfect cat name, look there’s box in a box 📦

.... exactly

Milton Jones: Easiest job in the world - Australian psychiatrist. "Can you tell me your problems mate?" "No worries mate". "Great - next!"

What's a house?

You see a cauldron, I see a person with a small head and big hair standing up with their hands in the air

And it gets worse with age. I took up horseback riding at 49, the first month I definitely thought I had leukemia, bubonic plague, leprosy, and a rare butt cancer. Five years later I only suffer from two things at a time, and the horses could probably use more exercise.

It is a mystery to me until today how he got a liver anyway when he was diagnosed with cancer allready. I mean, should he not have been at the very bottom of the list? Pancreatic cancer is as far as i know not the sort of cancer with the best prognosis, so is that not some sort of wasting an organ? Did he have a living person donate for him? Serious question, i can not really understand how that happened.

Also okay to not put them on at the beginning of the Day as you already know what's coming

I am basically blind without glasses but I don't wear them at work, I only wear them at the meetings or when someone else is presenting, if I am presenting, all I see is a sea of no faces = no expressions, no jitters

*cries silently in contact lense user*

Nope. I can navigate my house, sleep, and shower without my glasses, but literally nothing else. I can't read, go for a walk, work, prepare food, do dishes, nothing. My glasses will stay on, TYVM.

Unfortunately, this can not happen till bedtime. I can't get around without them 😔😔

I do this with my Cochlear Implant processors. By about 9:00pm, I'm done and take them off. Blissful silence with a little tinnitus is way better than much of what is on TV.

Or if your head hurts unexpectedly, surprisingly many of the headaches I have had this year were solved by me taking off my glasses, no idea what that says about me honestly

Kalikima

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Well? Where IS this new baby going to sleep?

Valid point and definitely worthy of a cake.

I dunno what tf pizza rolls are, they aren't in NZ. But I feel as though I'd like them.

Better answer - We are calling him "child 1" until he is old enough to name himself. People will flip their s**t.

When there isn't a hook on the public toilet cubicle and before squatting you have to macrame your bag straps together before putting the longest strap around your neck.

She married the nerd so what is she laughing at?

Apparently it worked!

When I have no alcohol, I'm soba.

As long as she consented - to each their own I say

I attempted hovering but that was bad for my face

There should be a minus one for us socially anxious people

A USED washing up sponge.

like a ghoulish mr potato fell apart

You have my vote

Me still at noon.

Hey, my home town..... I live near the right thumb......👍

... along with, haven't you found a nice boy yet. By the time you get married, all your eggs will dry out.

I laughed so hard at this

Tell me you haven't watched Star Wars without telling me!