I would 100% watch this and I'm not even a Bond fan.

I've seen that post a dozen times on Tumblr, and this is the first time I put "Mike Hawk" together. Good one, Tony. Good one.

Valid

Why are all the best TV show or movie ideas only in posts and we never get to see them

Gonna definitely use this

One more reason militant vegans are idiots

Cat the Younger knows I'm leaving for work when I start putting on make up. He gets very upset when he sees me doing this!

🎶 Ah ah ah ah time to die time to die 🎶

Ditto

Sounds like a great mom

💕 That wasn’t an option when we were kids. This IS hope after all! 💕💕💕💕

One question: How in the actual fu*k can I get an invite to that brunch? I know how to make BOMB corned beef hash (with actual corned beef), and I would be happy to make an entire bushel of the stuff if it meant an invite would be forthcoming! I need that group's energy STAT!

Enjoy your brunch and the company!

oof

International headline acts doing their Australian wide tour in Melbourne, Sydney and maybe Brisbane.

Yup, as a parent your most important responsibility is to unconditionally and whole heartedly love and support whatever child you get.

This is actually really funny, whoever popped the extra joint in is hilarious 😂

Yeah... :(

Did this actually happen!?

My automatic response to tripping on something is "who put that there?". Get very odd looks if it's a crack in the concrete.

Definitely true.

Do you think it was directly targeted at them specifically? because I like to think it was.

Simpsons did it first with "In the Garden of Eden"

Honestly how I’ve been surviving the last 20 years of my life

Disney strikes again. BTW, lemmings do not fling themselves off cliffs en masse.

I, too, would prefer to only answer to grocery prom kid!

And cat will forever and eternally slap the cr*p out of anything that annoys or confuses them

The flight attendant we all need and deserve

I'm now imagining an idiot at the tattoo parlour: "I want you to tattoo a gluten on my leg."

Had to say it out loud. With an accent. 🤣

Look, God tried. Intelligence. Free will.Guidelines. Staying out of our way. We just can't seem to help collectively going off the deep end. Especially those of us who only say they're doing things his way

I want this same bottle to write my obituary

Was just watching a video essay about Henry VIII marrying Anne of Cleves, and they mentioned that when he was trying to decide between Anne and her sister, he sent a portrait painter to paint both of them with specific instructions not to improve their appearance. Then when Anne showed up for the wedding and he didn't like her, he partially blamed the painter for misleading him.

But did she kill him, or is she showing symptoms of dementia? We'll never know.

Couple goals

... with the bowels of Holly.

The first piece of sensible advice I've seen on the internet *braces for the literal-minded to tell me 'Umm actually eating literal dirt is bad soooo"*

I was part of the messy genre and suddenly it clicked that handwriting was an art form and my handwriting got infinitely better. I never really noticed other's handwriting, until I was older and wondered why my siblings never left the bad handwriting phase.

Is this another reference to Republicans circling their golden god?

As a European, New York would terrify me. Every day you're next to someone who needs mental health help AND you allow guns. I can't even comprehend living like that

You mean the human skin over my alien lizard body?

The average sandy desert. So-so balls of fire. Middling white shark. The sufficient showman.

Would 100% watch this movie. Another plot twist: you're a cat.

Is it like the Flintstones and a hundred tiny creatures come out and lick your plates clean?

so tumblr is the place where the goth writers are given an internship before advancing to horror movies

Agreed. Nice firm grapes are the best. Bonus points if they come off the stems really easily without leaving little bits of stem attached, so you can just grab like three grapes at once and drop them in your bowl

Let's hope it was for an extreme eye irritation. Then they can say "Doctor Dockter, can't you see I'm burning, burning?"

You are

I clicked this list to laugh at memes, not be directly attacked

Just imagined lots of heavily tattooed Asian guys in a hot water spring.