I've seen that post a dozen times on Tumblr, and this is the first time I put "Mike Hawk" together. Good one, Tony. Good one.

Valid

I would 100% watch this and I'm not even a Bond fan.

Why are all the best TV show or movie ideas only in posts and we never get to see them

One more reason militant vegans are idiots

Go to your local charity shops. Lots of wool garments, and pure cotton stuff

So veganism is about the animals, not the environment. There is a long list of environmental reasons to avoid animal husbandry as well, but they're not directly the rationale for veganism. Secondly, there are a ton of non-plastic natural fibres, from cotton to bamboo, linen etc, even vegan leather made from mushrooms! Incredible advances. Furthermore, you don't have to search too hard to find examples of animal abuse in the wool industry. Maybe know what you're talking about before calling caring people idiots.

I tried to tell a vegan that they're abusing a sheep by insisting it keeps it's fleece forever; she hasn't spoken to me since she googled it

uhhh acrylic yarn has been around for ages, thats nothing the vegans invented.

I wish I weren't allergic. First time I ever worked with wool I didn't realize I was allergic. Swelled up my entire face. Couldn't see for a few hours

Merino lambs have to have chunks of skin cut off of their bums with no painkillers so they don't get maggots, from all the abnormal wrinkly skin they have everywhere. Coyotes and other natural predators are killed on their own habitat to make room for grazing sheep. Wool shearers are paid to shear the sheep quickly, not humanely or carefully, leaving many sheep with skin lacerations. The most horrifying "advancement" in sheep shearing is a robot to shear the sheep, with the sheep restrained in a painfully un-natural position as though they were on a torturer's rack.

Actually shearing sheep's wool is good for them. Considering global warming, the sheep will be lining up to thank you for taking off a bit of that warm insulation.

I’d love to! But natural wool garments are so much more expensive than synthetic

I buy merino wool everything. Best wool out there!

When I was *real* young, we had sheep on the farm. I'm 70 now, and any lotion that has lanolin in it (it's from sheep) still eats my skin alive. Yeah, I acknowledge that I'm an atypical case. Clothes made of wool don't bother me at all.

Also, it's fire-resistant. That plastic wool is going to turn you into a bonfire, then melt into your skin. Meanwhile, wool doesn't burn. It kind of lights up a little bit, gets seared, but you won't end up with 3rd degree burns. (I may or may not be speaking from first-hand experience here...)

BUY WOOL!

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All vegans are idiots! It takes more energy and produces more pollution to make their fake foods and drinks. Save the animals but fu!¥ the world. Just have a burger and get over yourselves

Gonna definitely use this

Cat the Younger knows I'm leaving for work when I start putting on make up. He gets very upset when he sees me doing this!

🎶 Ah ah ah ah time to die time to die 🎶

Sounds like a great mom

Yup, as a parent your most important responsibility is to unconditionally and whole heartedly love and support whatever child you get.

oof

Ditto

International headline acts doing their Australian wide tour in Melbourne, Sydney and maybe Brisbane.

This is actually really funny, whoever popped the extra joint in is hilarious 😂

Yeah... :(

My automatic response to tripping on something is "who put that there?". Get very odd looks if it's a crack in the concrete.

Did this actually happen!?

Definitely true.

Simpsons did it first with "In the Garden of Eden"

Do you think it was directly targeted at them specifically? because I like to think it was.

Honestly how I’ve been surviving the last 20 years of my life

Disney strikes again. BTW, lemmings do not fling themselves off cliffs en masse.

I, too, would prefer to only answer to grocery prom kid!

I'm now imagining an idiot at the tattoo parlour: "I want you to tattoo a gluten on my leg."

The flight attendant we all need and deserve

And cat will forever and eternally slap the cr*p out of anything that annoys or confuses them

Had to say it out loud. With an accent. 🤣

Look, God tried. Intelligence. Free will.Guidelines. Staying out of our way. We just can't seem to help collectively going off the deep end. Especially those of us who only say they're doing things his way

I want this same bottle to write my obituary

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Was just watching a video essay about Henry VIII marrying Anne of Cleves, and they mentioned that when he was trying to decide between Anne and her sister, he sent a portrait painter to paint both of them with specific instructions not to improve their appearance. Then when Anne showed up for the wedding and he didn't like her, he partially blamed the painter for misleading him.

But did she kill him, or is she showing symptoms of dementia? We'll never know.

Couple goals

... with the bowels of Holly.

The first piece of sensible advice I've seen on the internet *braces for the literal-minded to tell me 'Umm actually eating literal dirt is bad soooo"*