Another mass panic

DAMMM

Autocorrect has some psychopath tendencies it seems

Is nice, I like

Have a good fun rally.

EMOTIONAL DAMAGE

(Slightly unrelated) I had 'Pubic' instead of 'Public' on my CV for the longest time.

'as soon as you get to Alabama, you need to get a new driver's' i think?

Your dad is asking you if you want illegal substances? Way to go.

It's important to do your drugs very carefully, kids

This text fail hurts me internally

Tater say poh-tah-to, you say poh-tay-to.

LOL... I love that it is a family joke now, too

AITA is Finnish for a fence (or a wall, specifically an outdoor structure). Confusion ensues.

Oh no! 🤣

Poor Walter is feeling abandoned

Ok I think I've molted a bit from laughing too hard

Texting your ex is always a bad idea. Especially at night, drunk

kinda gay innit

I'm sure he's beaming with pride on the development you've shown. (ESL user here, too. Everyone struggles with medical vocabulary...)

Heh... DILLIGAF is a common one amongst Bikers. Had one brother ask another what it meant: "Does it look like I give a f@€<?". "Jeeze, I was just asking a civil question!"

dad joke...

But you can call him Mr Daddy

ROFL... I think Ian will bring you many soups

I think grandpa forgot to take his pills

idk just don't get on their bad side

T.O is so much fun though.

wtf man

Later, when mom finds out it really WAS the whorehouse... "But Sam TOLD you! I can't see why your so upset"

This just a cereal killer.

The English way of referring to boats as females is confusing. She's got full sails.

i dont know i like jay-z penny more

I can only doggy paddle Edit: I’m not joking or trying to be funny

He could have meant hart as in deer.

Whats that now

Man, that reminds me of when in 2nd grade the mean, obsessed-with-Frozen girl dated the wolf-obsessed boy and basically it was like this

Bp seriously censored the word kill...

Ok, totally not a fail... freaking hilarious

My grandma's legs tasted delicious 🐓. I'm seeing myself out now

Well, she could have meant both LOL

OH GOD

For greased lightning....

ahahahaha

I mean, I would have

one time i was voice-to-texting my dad as i walked to school. this is the message he received: "hey, im almost at school, can i stay for oh my god there's a turtle"

both fish are good fish

I’m more concerned about the whole Bush T*ts thing!

I'm sure the silent "pee" would disturb the boss just as much.

Luv ur empathy.

no white can can

Whoring could be her job tho, who are we to judge?

I can't with this! 🤣

BEANS