Mea culpa. I was 0 for 4. Bet I wasn't the only one.

no they dont because they are all good dogs

You've got a cool Dad Tina! :D

:D :D

they don't visit earth because there's nothing here - eg if spaceydudes be say 5 million light years away and look at us they'd see a nearly ice age, I think, and we'd be monkey dudes not yet even using tools

Also works for Halle.

How it feels when people who only speak English complain about how hard it is to pronounce, say, Irish names or so.

Tsunami dad jokes!

I drunk texted my Kung Fu instructor to ask how Chinese dictionary is organised. Had to do extra pushups.

The dividing driveway is a lot of help too...

"Some folks are born, born to wave the flag..."

The cat is always right.

Why are the boomers there?

If anyone corrects the pronunciation of the dude's name, they're admitting to a crippling humor deficiency. They should receive our pity, rather than disparagement.

my microwave is the best math teacher

Ole!

I'm Aussie and I can tell you that the spelling is completely wrong. It isn't "Oztraylia" it's " 'Straya"

How can I flip texts like that?

ye what im aussie too

I grew up in a heavily wooded swamp so any method to keep biting insects away was implemented. I was an adult before I found out that the DIY cork hats we wore are famously worn in Australia. The idea to carry a slender branch to flick away the insects probably came from one of the Nat Geo magazines we got.

I just had one made that reads: If you're not invited or making a delivery, you're facing the wrong way.

Always good to check, in case it's a different reason today.

RIght now, somewhere in the US, an illiterate guy is attacking his freezer with an icepick.

That phone is more indestructible and will last longer than any of those cars

Another idiot.

A once beloved author now trying her best to ruin her legacy.

The proper way to make angle food cake.

Bevor war war war, war war ist.

Feel sorry for the Dutch if they have no titties.

I'm in IT. So many people just add a digit at the end. We've now made it so you can't do that. The last password I saw was Welcome12345678!!!!!!!!! Oh my God

And at speling to it luks lyke

No... not yet

Valid point.

Christopher Eccleston was a better Doctor... fight me

I think I lost a few brain cells trying to read that

It is always after 8 in countries with 12-hour time readings.

I think she's not pregnant with twins

Don't buy a year book, forget high school

Ok finine, I'll talk two you tonieight. Weight four me

I guess the type of snack they are are Airheads

10????????

I used to play rock band/guitar hero with my daughter when she was like 3. She... wasn't actually playing.

if Olaf is only 5ft 4 how tall are the others

Its a draw then.

And that's why I don't bother to decipher emojis. Seriously. I could read the Compleat [sic] Works of Shakespeare in the original Klingon faster.

Well *deep breath* "the sun is a mass of incandescent gas, a gigantic nuclear furnace, where hydrogen is built into helium at a temperature of millions of degrees"

If you understood please join me in the smug club

square root?

Hahahahaha! Dumbass.

👍🏿

Gr?