This is not worryingly smart...more like, I'm here today because of my cat. I had just arrived home from school as an eleven-year-old. Nobody else was home. The cat always trotted towards the kitchen since I always fed her as soon as I got home. That day I had just bought a giant gobstopper (it was the 80's) and somehow inhaled the thing about three steps inside the house. The cat halfway trotted to the kitchen, heard me make the weird sound of a giant ball of candy lodging in my throat and stopped to turn around and look at me...looked me straight in the eye very focused like. I knew I was fucked...couldn't breathe in, couldn't cough and hadn't learned the self Heimlich maneuver yet (throwing yourself on a chair back). I sort of sat heavily on a nearby couch starting to panic. Well, the cat, with the very focused stare still in effect, charged at me...full cat sprint... and jumped hard on my stomach and out popped the gobstopper. I started sort of crying from the release of stress. The cat started purring and curled up in my lap. She saved her boy.

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troufaki13

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I don't know why, but I'm crying...

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My cat liked to sleep under a lamp I had on my floor because of the warmth. But the light was bright, so he knocked down an empty trash can and put his head under it. But the trash can was hard-sided, so he dragged a sock over from the dirty clothes pile and used it as a pillow.

I came home to find him like this.

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Night Owl

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LOL, anything to be comfortable. You have an architect there. I hope no one destroyed his construction.

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I have two very fat cats. One of them purrs at every touch while the other only purrs for my boyfriend. People will pet him, but he never ever purrs unless my boyfriend is petting him. He is a fairly smart cat and will lay next to us if we're feeling sick, I think so that we may feel better. This cat's name is Shade.

One day, I was extremely depressed. I couldn't get out of bed because what was the point? I silently sobbed to myself the whole night and the next morning, worried about the future.

And then I felt the weight of my cat hopping onto the bed. It was Shade. He very unexpectedly walked right up to my face and sat down next to me. I reached out to touch him.

He purred. He purred for me. He had never purred for anyone else before. It was that moment that I knew he knew something was wrong and he wanted me to feel better, however way he could do it. He knew it wasn't physical illness, but something deeper. He thought that maybe if he could convey that I make him feel good, that I would feel better. It worked; I suddenly felt that even if the whole world was against me, I still had him by my side.

I love my cats.

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Hendra Lim

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onions, onions everywhere

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Bees are...not so smart when it comes to not drowning. You keep their water bowl shallow and with rough edges and lots of rocks in it for standing on, but some still fall in.

So one day I see a drowning lady in the water dish and I'm about to scoop her out when I see two others save her instead.

The two bees were on one of the rocks and they faced one another and held each other's legs, then and as a unit, backed down the rock until the farthest bee's back legs were in reach of the drowning bee. She grabbed on, then as a unit they scooted back up the rock until she was outta the water, then they helped her dry off.

Bees are amazing and fascinating and I've seen some cool shit in a hive, but that right there was next level awesome.

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Erin

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I love bees! They are a lot more intelligent than people realize.

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- Be living with myself and my two pets, a cat and a dog;
- Dog barks at everything and cat never give a **** about anything or anyone;
- Be asleep;
- Hear my dog barking;
- He shuts up after 30 seconds;
- I try to fall asleep again;
- After two minutes my dog start barking again like crazy;
- I go down to tell him to shut up;
- When I get down there is a freaking burglar on the bookshelf;
- Ski mask and all;
- On the floor lies a gun;
- Beneath bookshelf is my dog barking and jumping up after him;
- On the couch sits my cat looking like he found my tuna stash;
- I call the police;
- They arrest the guy;
- I give my dog a sausage for being a good guard dog;
- A couple of days later a guy calls from the station;
- During the interrogation the burglar admitted that he broke into my house, kicked my cat and lured my dog into a closet;
- My dog jumped him two minutes later;
- The burglar didn't know my dog can open doors;
- He can't;
- My cat being "**** everyone else" - king of the house can though;
- Taught himself so he can come and go as he pleases;
- My cat must have become pissed and released my dog so he could attack the burglar;
- MFW my cat is a ****;
- MFW I added animal cruelty to the charges.

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Ruth Mayfly

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Give your cat a treat too!

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My cat used to walk to the local vet by himself whenever he had a tick or wound. He'd go before I ever even knew there was a problem. There was a lot of confusion surrounding his patches of shaved hair and seemingly treated wounds before we found out what was going on. I have many, many stories about that cat.

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TheReader19

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Please share

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I have a blind (born with fucked up eyes), 150lbs of solid muscle, American Bulldog.

He loves everyone. If he hears a new voice, the "love wiggles" begin. He is just a huge lover dog. Sleeps with my 4-year-old every night. Gets along with my cats and other dogs.

Just a giant sweetheart.

Well, a work buddy of mine gave me a ride home once. Invited him in for a bit. We walk in. My pup starts his love wiggles...

...and stops. Ears fall. Tail droops. His expression changes from his usual happy-go-lucky self into... the dog he looks like: A vicious monster.

Well... he bears his teeth, starts growling at my buddy, and when my son walked into the room, he went nuts. He lunged at my buddy, snarling, teeth barred.

WTF? He never acts like this. EVER.

I was so confused and embarrassed. My buddy leaves. I scold my pup. Life goes on.

Fast forward a few months and it turns out the buddy of mine from work is arrested for possession of kiddy-porn.

My blind beast who loves everyone... somehow knew to hate this guy. He instinctively disliked him. And when my son came into the room, he went into protect-mode and tried to get the guy.

Creepy stuff.

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Magpie

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If only we could use this type of evidence in court.

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I made a crow friend while smoking on the porch. I gave it fragments of whatever food I could find on the way out. One day, I found an empty pack of Marb on the porch. Puzzled, but I threw it away. A few days later, I found my crow bro standing behind 3 empty packs of cigarettes. I tried to pick them to throw away, but the crow bro was protecting them for some reason. Frustrated, but I gave it a small chunk of meat as I took another drag. As I gave it the meat, the crow picked up one of the packs and placed it in front of me. Then, it hit me: the crow is trading with me. The trade went on for few more times until the winter hit Minnesota.

TL;dr; a crow traded cigarette packaging for food with me.

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Max L.

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crows are proven to be very smart, they have sense of humor, pranks their friends, and pass informations each other to cooperate for various tasks.

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I had a cat that learned how to open the fridge, and then my dog started begging my cat for food. And then the cat started getting into the fridge just to feed the dog.

I patiently await the day where my pets decide to overthrow me and have me fixed. I'm not fighting it, that'll only make it worse in the long run.

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Monty Is Fiennes

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Where are my balls summer?....

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I had a German Shepherd-Chow mix who was incredibly smart and loyal. She was a rescue our family picked up from a shelter when she was about 8 months old. Her name was Jazz, and I have never seen another like her.

When my brother was about two years old, he learned to unlock and open doors. We had a fenced in backyard with a large pool. We did have a sturdy cover on the pool at this time because it was dead of winter, but some water seeped on top of the cover, like most covers, if you were to try to walk across it.

One day, my brother opened the back door and headed straight for the pool. The lady who helped clean our house saw what was happening through the window over the sink. She screamed, and we all ran outside to go get him. What we saw was my wonderful dog stand in front of him, gently take his hand in her mouth and lead him away from the pool.

She was incredible.

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Ladies and Gentlemen

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East or west, Doggos are best!

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My dog is a total idiot. I mean she regularly fails all of those dog intelligence tests, she's kind of neurotic and has a slightly deformed leg. She was once in a forest hiking with my mom and failed to notice a bear 10 yards away.

Anyways, my mom took her hiking with my aunt and her chocolate lab and they got seriously lost in the mountains. Mom was having a heat stroke, it was well in the 90's and my aunt didn't know where to go. My dog, who normally just lays down uselessly when it's too hot, lead them for six miles out of the forest- where she'd never been before. My mom and aunt occasionally thought she was wrong and tried to take a different term but she'd start whining and sit where the right trail was.

It took hours but my dog got everyone home safe and sound.

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Madhu Mitha

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smart doggo! looks beautiful too...

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I worked at a pet store.

We had a guard dog. Mean looking pit bull dog.

When customers would show up before the store opened and bang on the door to get in, the owner would say "Sic 'em Butch" and the dog would run out of the back, barking and snarling, and slam into the front door glass till the customer went away and waited for the store to open.

One day, I was in the back of the store, and a customer came rapping on the front glass to get in early. Nobody was in the retail area of the store, the dog was in the back and didn't hear the rapping... But, the store mascot parrot was on his perch in the front of the store, and suddenly, called out, "Sic, em Butch!"

The dog came running, snarling and chased the customer away.

no humans were involved inside the store.

I just sat in amazement as I watched the whole thing.

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Night Owl

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A good team. Next thing you know they work the store without humans.

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Every morning for breakfast I always eat fruit and that weekend there was a farmers market selling fruit for cheap so I bought a TON. I couldn't fit them in the fridge so I left a few bags on the side in the dining room (reachable distance)

I **** you not, I woke up and was surprised to see an apple next to me. Over the next few days, my dog would get up in the morning, go in the bag, and get a fruit to put next to me on the bed. He proceeded to do this for the next two weeks until we ran out. I thought it was the cutest thing ever but a part of me is like holy ****.

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Frida Ohlson

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Omg, so cute. I would buy new apples and put in the bag just because

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There was a flock of little birds outside of a French bakery in California. They would pick at bits of scones and croissants people threw away in the trash cans nearby, and many of them would approach people for scraps. We noticed one particular bird hopping around on one leg begging for scraps, and we gave it a little bit of our bread. As soon as it had the bit of food in its beak, I swear to god it looked right at me and dropped its other leg to the ground.

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Erin

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You've been bamboozled!!

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My cat can operate the recliner, turn on/off the faucet, open doors, turn off lights, and defeat her food dispenser (she found the button that dispenses regardless of the timer).

At this point, it's like having a fat, furry roommate.

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Ladies and Gentlemen

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Sure sign of cats are aliens bound to invade and rule over us one day! Behold the great cats! Bow!

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There was crow who would drop walnuts on the road waiting for cars to run them over. It would then wait at the crosswalk with people for the light to change. When it would it would walk over and eat the broken walnut.

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Ladies and Gentlemen

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Many crows do this, crows are now days considered most intelligent bird species, they are able to crack some very difficult puzzles. Check out YT for some amazing vids on their intelligence.

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When my big orange tabby cat wanted me up to feed him breakfast he got into the habit of coming into the bedroom and meowing loudly around 5 am. I soon cured him of that by getting up and quietly locking him in the bathroom for an hour or so while I got some more sleep. Sure enough, after a few times, he stopped waking me up with those loud "MEOOOWS!"

But I found I still would wake up early for some unknown reason with the cat on the floor by my bed staring at me expecting breakfast. It wasn't until one morning when I woke up really early and was just lying in bed thinking of getting up when I heard the smallest meow you could ever hear -just a little tiny kitten like "mew". He then waited a minute or two and then repeated. He basically did this non-stop at irregular intervals just within hearing range so I wouldn't know that he had woken me up.

Smart cat.

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Dian Ella Lillie

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Awww! I hope that he didn't receive the bathroom treatment for his modified approach!

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My parent's old dog would bring people's shoes to them, and she always matched the right shoes to the right people. It was especially awesome when we would have company that overstayed their welcome (my folks are farmers who like to go to bed early) when she would walk up and drop their shoes in their lap.

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LemonyLickit

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Good doggo - making sure his humans get their beauty rest.

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This was my dog.

I was eating a bagel on the couch and he was sitting on the floor next to me, just eyeing me down. You could tell he wanted some, but I wasn't giving in to his cute persuasions.

He calmly walks over the mudroom door and rings his bell that lets us know that he has to go to the bathroom. So I get off the couch, put my bagel on the coffee table and walk into the mudroom. Well between the time I got up and walked to the mudroom door, he ran around, back through the kitchen and had snagged my bagel off the table. I didn't even try to get it back from him, the slick bastard deserved his prize.

I realized who was the smartest being in the house that day.

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Madhu Mitha

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That's dogs for you....they snatch your food from right under your nose and you can't even get mad at them...

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I had an Australian Shepherd that I swore just plain understood English.

One day, we had a friend visiting from out of town and she had her little sheltie mix named Ginger with her. The friend lived in the city whereas we lived out in the country, so her dog was usually never outside without being on a leash, but my dogs free roam.

She decided to let Ginger off the leash. After a few minutes of exploring the yard, Ginger started to go into the woods. My friend got nervous and tried to call her back, but she wouldn't come.

My Aussie, Bauser, was there at my feet. In a conversational tone, I said, "Bauser, go get Ginger and bring her back."

Bauser got up, went over to where Ginger was in the woods, had a little "woof" conversation, and they both came trotting back.

My friend's jaw dropped. "How did you get her to do that??!"

Honestly, I was just as surprised as she was!

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Max L.

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Partime in barns you get used to deal with dogs who team up quickly, once hierarchies are extabilished. Quite frequently nomad dogs approach and stay a while. We had one quite mature german shepard who was clearly used to deal with people and it happened he was just sit at my feet an afternoon I was drinking coffee. Had noticed the owner kids were playing nearby, just to test his willing to obey to commands, I said in italian, with normal voice tone just as speaking to somebody in front of me "Go to the kids". Without even looking at me, he stand up, walked to the kids, and sit there.

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My childhood horse would play tag with me. She would run away, I would run after her, as soon as I cornered and tapped her I would run. She'd get really excited and go in a few circles before catching up to me and poking me with her nose. Then she would prance off.

Sometimes she would pretend to be tired and stand still, but when my fingers were mere inches from her nose, she would whirl around and take off across the field. I swear she was laughing.

Edit- there was a smarter horse that I only briefly had, but his trick wasn't as fun. He could open the latch on his stall door, get out into the barn, and open the stalls of the other horses. Except for Jasmine. Jasmine was a bitch and he wouldn't open her stall.

Once the door to the feed room was left cracked and he got in and the horses ate from the barrels.

But mostly they'd just end up prancing around the barn, and he'd open the gate to the field and they'd all just hang out there until someone came and forced them back into the stalls.

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Potterhead Unicorn

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" Except for Jasmine. Jasmine was a b***h and he wouldn't open her stall." XD

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Not current pet but a dog I had as a teenager.

Dog jumps up on the couch

"No, you're not allowed on the couch, go lie in your bed"

Dog leaves the room. A moment later he returns with his bed and throws it on the couch. Gets back up on the couch in his bed and stares at me.

"... Fair enough..."

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Savant

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That works too

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We used to have two kittens. One day at the dinner table one of them stood up and put two paws on my dad's lap. We all laughed at her obvious attempt at trying to steal food. While our attention was focussed on her, her sister jumped straight onto the table and stole a whole chicken drumstick. They both sprinted away and shared it nearby.

We were all impressed.

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glowworm2

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Clever girls!

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I had a cat named Buddha and I'd had him for about 3 years. I noticed that there was pee in the toilet so I asked my boyfriend if he'd stopped flushing or what. Then one day, we were both in the bathroom and he said "What is Buddha doing?" Buddha was on the toilet, peeing into it! He must have learned from watching me. I never taught him. He only peed in there, no poop but it was the funniest thing. I have a picture of it because no one believed me. God, I miss him.

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Ovidiu Vasile

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I had a cat that did the same thing, No. 1 & 2

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My cat, Tuffy stole a piece of bread off the stove and put it on the floor next to the cabinet. She then stared at it intensely, and motionlessly for an hour. We thought that was creepy. Then a mouse came out from behind the cabinet to get the bread and she pounced it! She was using the bread as motherf***ing bait! This is the same cat who routinely burns her tongue licking lightbulbs, hisses at them, and keeps licking.

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Hamlets twin

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"Light bulb licker" is my new favorite insult!

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Once, my mum fell while walking the dogs and they started running away. She had hurt her knee so she couldn't get up straight away.

My goldie grabbed the leash of my other dog and pulled him back towards my mum and wouldn't let go until she got up. So proud of him :'(

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Cactus McCoy

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Retrievers being retrievin'!

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My cat sleeps exclusively on the couch in the basement. The problem is, he won't stay downstairs unless you do his bedtime ritual.

It starts with him looking at you and meowing, to which you have to respond with, "Wanna go to bed?" Once you respond, he meows again and runs downstairs and waits by the basement door for you. You have to pet him and tell him he's a good boy until he's satisfied, then he goes to the first stair and waits for you to shut the door. Then and only then will he go to the couch to sleep.

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Magpie

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He has trained you well. :)

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I use to find dead mice in my dog's water bowl. I couldn't figure out why these stupid mice kept drowning themselves. Then, one day, I was watching my dog stalking a mouse on the back porch. She caught it in her teeth, brought it to the water bowl, and held it under water with her teeth until it drowned. Walked away like it was nothing.

Scariest thing I've ever seen.

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Night Owl

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Reincarnation of a serial killer

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We once came home to find my dog had ripped into a multi-pack of mini chocolate bars and sweets and gone to town on them. However, we couldn't bring ourselves to tell him off because he'd also placed an unopened chocolate on my bed, my sister's bed and my parents' bed. I guess he thought if he shared the chocolate with us all we wouldn't be mad.

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Anja Garone

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um, chocolate is poisonous for dogs

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I don't really know if this applies as "calculated", but I have seen a cat get embarrassed.

I live down south in the US where green tree frogs are abundant. I had a cat that would stare out of the window, as they do. One night there was a tree fog, on the outside of the window. Towards the top. My cat crept up, stuck a paw towards it halfway, then stopped before touching the glass. She did it again. Then on the third try, she quickly booped the glass with her paw, realizing the frog was on the outside. I swear on my life this cat turned and looked around the room to make sure no one else had seen this happen. When she saw me looking at her, her eyes got wide and she ran off.

That may not be what was going through her head, but I like to think so.

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Ladies and Gentlemen

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Its quite common for Dogs to be embarrassed, but never heard of a cat being one. I loved playing all this in my head, picturing how exactly it would have went and cracked my self a good laugh. I so want to see a pic of this cat!

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Just up the street from my apartment in San Francisco, there was one of those fast food restaurants that was either a KFC or a Taco Bell, depending on the angle from which it was viewed. The establishment was a frequent stopping point for students coming from the nearby college... and those students were a frequent target for a remarkably bright crow.

Now, on most days, the bird in question would just hang around the restaurant (as well as other ones nearby) and scavenge for scraps. Every once in a while, though - I saw this happen twice, and had it happen to me once - it would enact a much more complex scheme than simply going through the gutter: The crow had apparently discovered that money could be exchanged for food, so it would wait until it saw a likely mark, squawk at them to get their attention, then pick up and drop a coin. Anyone who responded would witness the bird hopping a few feet away, then following its "victim" toward the source of its next snack.

When the crow approached me, it dropped a nickel on the ground. I stooped, picked up the coin, and then jumped slightly when the bird made a noise that sounded not unlike "Taco!"

Needless to say, I bought that crow a taco.

The final out-of-pocket cost for me, minus the nickel, was something like $1.15. Even so, I figured a bird that smart deserved a reward simply for existing.

Of course, that was probably exactly what I was supposed to think.

TL;DR: A crow paid me five cents to buy it a taco.

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Carol Emory

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There was a dog that figured out that if people gave dollars to a street vendor, they'd get food. So the dog would go find the greenest leaf that was about the same size as a dollar bill, go to the vendors and lay the leaf down on their cart to show them he was paying for his meal. Most of the vendors would give him something small to eat.

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I had a cat, who has since passed of natural causes, that was ridiculously smart. He was allowed outdoors but always slept inside at night. We had recently found some abandoned kittens which we fed, and they made a home in our backyard. One night our indoor cat came up to my room meowing incessantly and left, so I ignored him. He came back again a couple of minutes later and then left, so again I let him be. The third time he did this I decided to follow him and he led me to the sliding glass back door and just stood there. I turned on the light and looked outside and these poor kittens were cornered by some raccoons. The confrontation had not become physical yet, thankfully, and I managed to scare the raccoons away. I am still amazed to this day by some of the things this cat did.

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Sam Petter

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Bring the babies inside!

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I once saw a cat put his paw over the bells of its collar and three-leg ambush a bird, full stealth mode.

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Maria Ines Molina

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I thought bells are not a good idea because of the constant noise. Don't they irritate cats a lot?

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I had a Jack Russell Terrier bitch that was just scary smart. She figured out how to open the refrigerator door, then the drawer inside to help herself to the cold cuts when she was only 10 weeks old.

She could escape from her cage without opening the door too (again when still a tiny puppy). She had me stumped on this one for a while. We were visiting my sister-in-law and had gone out to dinner. When we left, the dog was in her crate, the door latched. When we came home, the dog was out of her crate and the door was still closed and latched.

WTF? Did she shut the door behind her after she got out?

Nope. What she would do was to climb up in the corner of the crate, and use her head to force the lid of the crate up enough for her to squeeze through. No muss, no fuss, but it baffled the hell out of me until I saw her do it.

She also warned us of two kitchen fires before they could spread and do any damage. There were also two men in our neighborhood (we lived near the beach, so there were a lot of people out walking in the area), whose mere presence would set the dog to growling and getting very aggressive. She did this on more than one occasion with each of the men when they approached my wife while she was out walking the dog. My wife was smart enough to trust the dog's instincts and not let either of the men get close. Turns out that one of the men was mentally ill and would sometimes attack people when he was off his meds, and the other was a flat-out rapist.

When my brother visited us in NY from Arizona (in March), he was miserable. He had muscular dystrophy and was always thin and frail. The sudden change from dry, hot Arizona, to cold, damp NY left him cold and ridden with deep bone aches. My other Jack Russell Terrier, the sweetest, best behaved dog I've ever had, spent my brother's entire visit sitting on his lap or snuggling with him. We're convince that he was doing so because he sensed how my brother was feeling. There were lots of other laps to sit on, but pretty much every minute that the dog wasn't eating or doing his business outside he spent with my brother.

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Julie Chaumet

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How do you manage to get two kitchen fires

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We had a mouse in our home so we set some traps. I read somewhere that chocolate is more effective than cheese at attracting mice so I put a piece of chocolate in the trap.....

For days and days the mouse avoided the traps. We would still see it scurrying around from time to time, it just never went near the traps....

Then, one night, I came home from the pub, turned on the kitchen light and saw the mouse! It approached the trap slowly. 'This is it!' I thought, I'm gonna see Stuart Little get crushed!...

Then, the mouse did a clever thing. It went to the SIDE of the trap, avoiding the trigger...carefully reached its little paws in, snatched the chocolate then scurried away with its prize! I stood there dumbfounded, I'd been outsmarted by a mouse!

After that, I took away the traps. It didn't seem right to kill such an intelligent, thinking creature. The mouse disappeared of its own accord.

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Cactus McCoy

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See? No violence, and all problems solved by chocolate.

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I was once walking from my grandparent's house to the shops, and accidentally went the very long way, which happened to go past a creek (there may have been more water I couldn't see) and park where ducks liked to live. I saw two ducks walk towards the road, and at the edge, one duck put its wing in front of the other duck to stop it, looked both ways and waited for a car to pass, walked to the center line of the road with the other duck, and repeated. I have never regretted not bringing my camera more.

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Person2638

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Those ducks are smarter than some humans at crossing the road.

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I had a large lovable great Dane, about 140 lbs. One day my husband, my sister in law, and I were sitting in the living room watching my 3-year-old niece play with the dog on the floor. At one point my niece grabbed the dog's stuffed toy and walked away with it. The dog got up and followed her to where she stood in the corner. So my niece is standing in the corner playing with the toy and facing the wall and my large dog is looming behind her looking over her shoulder at the toy in her hands. The dog turns back and looks at us grown-ups on the couch, then looks back at the toy, then looks back at us, then back at the toy. Finally, he turned his head, and staring at us, lifted his giant dog foot and punched my nieces head into the wall in front of her. She immediately exploded into tears, dropped the toy, and stood there sobbing and holding her forehead.

The dog calmly and very daintily picked up the toy and took it to his bed and laid down.

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Talia Johnson

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Poor child. Poor dog. Wondering why the niece wasn't prevented from taking the dog's toy, thus avoiding a predictable reaction?

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I take my dog to the beach almost every day, and one of the first things she does is grab a stick for me to throw.

She'll occasionally find these enormous sticks that are far too heavy, or big knobby things that are too awkward to throw. So one day about four years ago, when she brought me this impracticality huge tree branch, I told her, "That stick sucks. Go get a different one."

And she did. She dropped the huge stick, hunted for a different one, and brought it to me.

This happens all the time now. She'll bring me a stick I can't or don't want to throw, I'll tell her it sucks and to go get a different one, and she does it every time.

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Aunt Messy

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She's turned it into a game.

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My dog knows my caller ID. I sometimes need to call home from my cell, and our home phone "speaks" the incoming call's caller ID. The only time my dog ever howls is when I call and the answering machine says my ID. She's done it when my mom is off somewhere else in the house and can't hear the phone ringing. She doesn't do it for any other phone call, even if I'm not home. I also tried calling while I'm still home to see if I can get her to howl, but she just looks at me like I'm an idiot.

My dog also has two bowls: one for food and one for water. Whenever I give her some crushed ice to lick in the water bowl, she'll pick up chunks of the ice and put them in the food bowl instead. Apparently, solids = food bowl, even if said solids turn into water.

Edit: Seems like people like my dog! She learns a lot of things on her own and doesn't really care what I think, which can cause me a lot of headaches... but I wouldn't trade her for anything in the world.

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Ruby Brook

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6 years ago

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This is so cool! This dog is intelligent and very interesting.

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My birds steal batteries out of electronics. Remotes, beard trimmers, fire alarms, you name it. They don't do anything with the batteries, just take them out and then laugh at me and dance when I find them.

Conures are dickheads, but I love them.

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Katie and Jared Coates

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Conures are fantastic birds. :)

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I was about 15 when my sister got a Yorkie that was really smart and his facial expressions were human-like. Anyways, me and my friend were in my above ground pool in Florida, cause we're white trash, and he thought it would be funny to throw my sister's dog in the pool. The dog hated getting wet, but my friend threw him in anyways. The dog got out by itself and gave the most human-like death stare to my friend. I told him "you better watch out man, that dog's smart AF." The dog goes inside finds HIS clothes out of pile of clothes on the ground. I mean his shirts, socks, pants and underwear. Drags them outside one by one to where we can see them from the pool. We finally notice him and he is just death staring my friend down waiting for us to look. As soon as we turned our heads and saw him he proceeds to thoroughly drench my friends's clothes in piss and then trot of like he couldn't give AF. SMartest dog I've ever met to this day.

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Carol Emory

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6 years ago

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I thought he was going to say the dog threw them in the pool. Much better...much much better.

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When I was about 11 or 12 years old I was with my family on a beach. There was a seagull there that had stolen a sandwich from our beach blanket. It had grabbed the sandwich, flew away and landed about 100 feet from us.

So I picked up a racquetball and tried to hit the seagull with it. I missed but was close enough to startle the seagull. It flew into the air, swooped back down, picked up the ball, and proceeded to drop it like 200 yards out at sea.

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Martha Meyer

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6 years ago

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That's what you deserved for trying to hurt it.

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When I was in high school, we had two cats: an older, wheezing bob-cat-tailed female named Afre and a young, pure white male named Inqua. One day I was home sick and Afre fell asleep on the couch behind me, while Inqua and I curled up in a chair together watching TV. Now, when Afre would sleep, she could be louder than a freaking chainsaw, and it was driving me nuts that day for some reason. So, jokingly, I looked down at Inqua and said, "Care to help me out here? Why don't you go wake her up, she'll want to move to the sunshine about now anyway."
I kid you not, Inqua got down off my lap, padded over to the couch, jumped up, and proceeded to bat Afre awake. Job accomplished, he hopped back down, came back over to me, jumped up, and curled right back in the spot on my lap. He didn't seem bothered by the fact that I was just staring at him in astonishment.

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Nikki D

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Cool names! Do you mean Afre snored? I've never heard a snoring cat!

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Every day when my brother and I pull in the driveway from school we can see our dog on my brother's bed in the window above the garage, where he knows he isn't allowed to be. When we walk into the house he is laying behind the living room couch and picks his head up and looks at us like he's been sleeping there all day.

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Carol Emory

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My mother had a blonde long haired chihuahua and a big dark green couch. We would often come home to find the chihuahua under the coffee table, head between her front paws, acting like she'd been sleeping there the whole time. But the blonde fur on the dark green couch didn't lie. My mom tried aluminum foil, plastic wrap and cardboard to keep her from laying on the couch, but all of them ended up on the floor. She finally put a towel down on the couch. If she couldn't stop the dog from laying on the couch, she could at least stop the blonde fur from sticking to it....

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My dog would ring the doorbell when she wanted inside. One time my Uncle was visiting and the doorbell rang and he said "Oh are you expecting visitors?" My Mom said "Nope. It's just Sadie. She wants inside."

The look on my Uncle's face! Hahahaha!

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Ladies and Gentlemen

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Imagine having a date at your home when parents not around and the date goes south and you want to visitor to leave but not rudely, its time let Sadie go outside, after sometime bell rings and you tell the visitor to leave the house in hurry via back door as your parents are home. After that take Sadie to dog spa and give her bag full of treats. Everyone is happy!

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My horse knows how to unlock gates with his nose. Most of the stalls have a slide lock that they usually just leave alone. Not Rex. We had to put a bottom lock on the door he couldn't reach.

One day one of the newer people locked him in his stall but forgot the bottom latch; then walked away. Rex unlocked his door and then went to the other stalls and let the other horses out. Then he led them on a charge to grassy freedom.

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Person2638

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FREEDOM FOR THE HORSES!

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My chihuahua begs to go outside right before dinner. Our Husky is extremely in social and picks up on anything so he starts to beg to go outside too. When we open the back door the husky sprints outside and the chihuahua runs back in to eat her food in peace.

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Ladies and Gentlemen

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This chihuahua is my spirit animal!

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I had a dog that got hit by a car. He ended up losing his front leg. This dog was a big pupper. Easily 80 pounds. Once he came home, I could not carry him, but my husband could. The dog HATED going potty in the house, so he quickly learned to walk outside with me. Three weeks in, he was walking and jumping down the steps UNLESS his daddy was home. Then he couldn't move. Just sit and whine and cry pathetically until daddy carried him.

He got busted one day when he didn't hear his dad's car pull up. Launched himself down the 3 porch steps, realized his dad was right there and fell over hard, crying. But it was too late, the gig was up.

However, he continued this type of 'I'm too weak' behavior - but only with my husband - for the next 10 years until he died of old age.

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Gary

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I have a dog who limps around whilst she thinks she's being watched, even offers her leg up to look at, then can be spied out the window trotting and running around the garden merrily. Or jumps up on the beds to sleep whilst we're out. Cheeky little toad.

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I have a three-month-old pup who got dirt in her eye one day. The eye kept tearing up and she held it partly shut for a few hours. During that time I felt really bad for her and handed out a lot of treats. Since then, when I am eating, she begs by winking that eye with a tiny whimper. Her wink is nonstop. If she's called by someone else in the home she looks at them with perfect eyes. I get the "broken eye" Once she gets the goods -fully working eyes.

She is a mix from a stray.

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Nikki D

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I had a dog that would fake a limp for sympathy and treats, only she kept switching which side the limp was on! It was really hilarious.

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I used to work at a grocery store, and every day a grackle would fly in and take food that was for samples, or waste that fell on the ground. It would always fly out before half the store was locked to begin closing.

Later on, it brought its baby in and started teaching it to avoid customers and getting caught while getting samples. It was great.

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Nikki D

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I wonder if he knew that the samples were free and therefore it wasn't stealing?

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Posted this to another thread awhile ago, but think it fits here as well:

My vet is set-up on an acreage, and on that acreage roam a band of donkeys. Awesome donkeys. The kind with big ears, fat bellies, small hooves, but still solid as a brick house. Sadly, my dog got very sick very fast and we had to euthanize him. Given the location, we had the choice of letting him go outside, which of course we did. During the process, the donkeys slowly started surrounding us. Most of them kept a respectable distance, but one kept backing up until she was physically touching my dog. It got to the point where I was trying to push her away (or at least shield my dog from getting stepped on), but she didn't move. Not even a inch. The moment my dog was gone, like the actual moment his soul left his body, the donkey broke her physical connection with my dog and the band dispersed. One minute we were surrounded by donkeys and the next they were gone. All of them, just like that.
That was the worst day of my life, but also one of my most treasured memories.

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Carol Emory

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Donkeys have such strong connections with the animals and people around them, they always go into mourning when they see someone passing away. I've seen donkey sanctuaries where, when one donkey passes away, the owners of the property will bring the dead donkey to the open paddock so all the donkey's can say goodbye..kind of like a donkey funeral. They will even bray as if they are crying for their deceased buddy. Very sad.

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Our Rottweiler Lila (Lee-lah - German for purple) was incredibly intelligent. She also was able to differentiate her toys, even types of balls, by the names we gave them. If we told her to get her green ball, she'd get her green ball. If we said red ball, she'd get the red one. These were usually different colored tennis balls, but she knew which was which. After I came home from a week in the hospital post-surgical, my husband told Lila that "mommy has a boo boo on her belly" and when he let her in the room with me, she sat in front of me and gently laid her head on my stomach. Not the usual jumping on me for attention. There are so many more things to tell you. She was an amazing pup! We miss her so much!

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John Ashley

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I sometimes wonder if stupid dogs are as dumb as we think. Maybe smart dogs aren't as smart as we think. It may be that "dumb" dogs have realized they don't have to do anything to get fed and taken care of. Why do all that "smart dog stuff... if you don't have to?

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One time my dog was chasing my cat. The cat usually would just run to the basement, but not this time. The cat simply ducked behind the first stair. My dog assumed the cat had just run down the stairs and very nonchalantly turned around. As soon as he did, my cat gave me this look like "Watch this ****." He jumped several feet in the air onto my dogs back and scared the **** outta him. Clawed him pretty good too. Seriously that was the last time the dog harassed the cat.

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Cherry

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Poor thing he kinda deserved it though

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My dog once outsmarted me-- he tricked me into getting up to let him out on a cold winter morning...only as soon as I turned the corner he jumped up into my warm spot in the bed, curled up tight, and then studiously ignored me when I came back in the room. That jackass. Best dog ever.

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Shari H

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6 years ago

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The rule in my house is "move your meat, lose your seat, to the dog".

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Was at a zoo. Saw a monkey with its hand on its brow shielding its eyes from the sun. Came back five minutes later. The monkey now had a trash can lid on its head. Instant shade. Problem solved.

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Carol Emory

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At my college, we had the Chimpanzee Human Communications Institute (CHCI) where chimpanzees were taught sign language. We also had a Fire Station nearby. Whenever the Fire Truck would come down the street with it's sirens blasting, you could hear the chimps whooping it up and getting excited. They never did it for the Ambulance siren or a Police siren...only the Fire Truck.

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My cat gave my husband a dead mouse by putting it on his phone. The thing that's clearly most important to him. Also, my cat and dog would team up for mouse hunts.

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Maria Ines Molina

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My cat Felipe hates my phone and he is not afraid of showing it. He's bitten it several times and knocked it off my night table on more than one occasion.

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Two things. First, witnessed an adult squirrel lining up about 6 baby squirrels and teaching them how to raid our squirrel-proof bird feeder. The adult had each baby practice it separately at the end of his demonstration. Second, a goose at the side of the road waited until my car was close enough and about to pass by and then it chased his friend out in front of me in attempted murder (I swerved so he was not successful).

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Jilltdcatlady

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The goose was trying to collect insurance money.

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One of my cats learned how to turn the internet off. I mean, he realized everybody goes crazy when he goes behind the TV stand and messes up with the wires.

So when we're not paying enough attention to him (usually if we're on our phones or the computer), he just unplugs the router. I don't think he knows how much power he has.

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TheReader19

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Actually he does

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I put my fat lard cat on a diet. This makes him very angry and loud, but I don't give in. Suddenly, out of nowhere, he starts limping and acting distressed, so I feel bad and give him extra food/treats. It took two trips to the vet and $500 until we figured out that he was faking the limp for extra food. That fat bastard.

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TheReader19

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He may be a fat bastard, but you're the fool

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My boyfriend was traveling for work every single week. The day before, he packed his bag for the travel as usual. In the morning he was prepared to take his bag and go to the airport, only to find that it was completely empty.
As it turns out, our white swiss shepherd completely took all of his clothes out of it, up until the last sock, and hid all of them in the bathtub, so he wouldn't leave.

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TheReader19

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So cute

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My rabbit was a freaking genius. She was a mini rex. She would teach herself to jump higher and higher to get around obstacles I used to keep her in her play room. She figured out how to open her cage door so she could leave. Every place I hid food, even places that should have been out-of-her-reach, she got to.

I was never as impressed with her as I was with her daughter, though. Her daughter escaped their cage when she still was blind, deaf, and furless. (I didn't even recognize her as a rabbit, but I remembered my rabbit making a nest and realized this ugly thing must be a rabbit.) I watched her train herself to use the litterbox at 3 weeks old. She also tried to kick the vet in the face when the vet tried to determine what sex she was. She was great. I bet if I contacted the people whom I gave her to, they'd have some great stories for me too.

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Night Owl

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"She also tried to kick the vet in the face when the vet tried to determine what sex she was." LMAO Very smart. I'd try to do it too.

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My cat learned exactly where to place his paws on my chest and neck in order to force me to get up or suffocate.

He now does this whenever he thinks he's starving...

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Savant

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... which is, of course, all the time.

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When I was in kindergarten we went to the zoo.

The first enclosure is a big area with what I think were chimpanzees, it was too long ago to remember.

There was a sign that said you had to be silent to not disturb the monkeys.

This one kid Frederic didn't shut his mouth and a monkey just grabbed a peanut and threw it over 70 yards and hit the kid right in the head. That shut him up...

Edit: to the people saying it didn't throw it 70 yards, you didn't see him do it. I went back to that zoo and the enclosure is huge.

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Jenný Samúelsdóttir Herlufsen

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Apes are strong AF!

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My mom's parrot. She's a blue and gold macaw named Lola. Lola eats a lot of people food on top of her regular diet, she particularly loves pizza, dried spaghetti noodles, and cheese.

So one day, mom cuts up some cheese and an apple. She opens Lola's cage and gives her an apple slice. Lola wanted cheese but Lola can't fly. So she grabbed the apple slice, climbed down her cage, ran backwards through the heavy carpet on the floor (because she hasn't figured out how to run forwards in her 16 years). She climbs up the couch mom is sitting on, hops on her lap, looks at her and puts the apple slice on moms plate. She then takes a slice of cheese, looks at mom, climbs back down the couch and across the floor, up her cage and onto her perch and proceeds to eat the cheese.

That bird has done some funny ****, but this took the cake for me.

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Carol Emory

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I had a friend that had a blue macaw that would periodically drop toys while sitting on his perch. Every time he dropped one, the family would say "Uh-oh" and pick up the toy to hand it back to the macaw. One day I'm talking to her on the phone..and she starts laughing. I asked what was funny and she said "The bird was preening itself when one of it's feathers fell out and hit the floor. The bird looked down for a minute and said "Uh-oh."

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My boy Ribbit will offer up all kinds of tricks and behaviors in an effort to get food. He knows around 50 different words and commands and can understand more complex sentences, like a verb and a noun ("Go get your fuzzy ball" - he will bring his fuzzy ball to me).

My favorite was when I was trying to train my younger dog, Minnow, to stand on her hind legs and walk. Ribbit was already proficient in this but he's super food motivated so he will usually do the same behavior asked of Minnow to get a treat.

I held the treat out high enough that Minnow would have to stand up to reach it. From across the room, Ribbit got on his hind legs, walked over to the food, and calmly ate it.

Training is done separately now.