Mental health experts have been warning us for several years already that the world has a loneliness problem. According to a Gallup poll, almost one in four adults worldwide say they feel very or fairly lonely.
This is a sign we long for meaningful connections. We can do that by being more open and vulnerable with the people we care about – by feeling all the feels! This IG page gets it and celebrates meaningful connections with quotes and messages that inspire people to be kinder and more open with each other. Because, when you think about it, we're not really strangers after all, are we?
This post may include affiliate links.
Look for the good things, but don't feel you have to do all the work in your relationships - if they act like an idiot, and sound like an idiot, they may actually be idiots :-)
We all feel like this from time to time - but it's generally true that silence is not the way to make - or keep - friends. Say something - small talk was invented for a reason !
You might've heard about "We're Not Really Strangers" if you're into card and board games. It's an interesting and meaningful game people can play with their friends, significant others, family members, or strangers they want to get to know better. The creators describe it as a "purpose-driven game and movement all about empowering meaningful connections."
The cards contain prompts that allow players to get to know people better. For instance, "What's the most pain you've ever been in that wasn't physical?" or "What lesson took you longest to unlearn?" Those who've tried it describe it as "healing in a box."
Actually, there was a lot wrong with me. It took 2 years of intensive therapy to work it out. Finding my people made me realize I wasn't alone.
And don't be afraid to give it, where it's welcome. Love is for giving as well as forgiving.
"We're Not Really Strangers" is the creation of photographer-turned-model Koreen Odiney. She calls photography her first love, but modeling helped her feel financially independent. When she was a teenager shooting portraits on the streets of LA, she would talk to her subjects.
"I always asked people my three signature questions, at the time, when taking their photos; 'What is your name?', 'What is your age?', 'What are you passionate about?'" she told Forbes. One of the subjects, in 2016, was reading poetry, and uttered the fateful phrase: "We are not really strangers."
This. Good friends like you for what (and who) you are, not for what you feel you should pretend to be. Be yourself, you are needed.
Odiney says she couldn't forget the words. A couple of years and many more photography subjects passed by until she distilled the idea into what it is today and launched the project in 2018. "I’m trying to use my talents, team, and resources to empower people with these questions. The game is what my camera was for me - a passport to people," she explained.
You may owe it to them to give it a try, but you don't have to make that your life's work. You - as you are, your skills, your laughter, your perseverance - are needed in many places. Find one of them and be the answer, never the complaint.
On social media, people abbreviate "We're Not Really Strangers" as WNRS (pronounced as "winners"). The game became a sensation during the pandemic, a time when people were craving meaningful conversations more than ever. Odiney made the game free to download at that time, and celebrities like Hailey Bieber, Penn Badgley, and Tracee Ellis Ross helped popularize it by posting about it on their social media.
Give everyone a fair chance. But not a sequence of chances; there is a time to move on.
Since then, Koreen has come up with different editions and expansion packs for the game. There's one for couples, self-reflection, friendship, honest dating, family, and even a breakup. Odiney says that the cards are a great way to have deep conversations and ask questions when you're afraid or anxious. "Instead of feeling bad about asking questions, you’re given a prompt. It creates a separation between yourself and what is being said," she told Vogue.
Over-thinking is just as poisonous as under-thinking - relax and let life happen.
Key word here is 'constantly'. Everyone occasionally touches the guardrails.
Researcher Xuan Zhao, who studies happiness and well-being, says that these types of card games allow people to ask deep, personal questions without appearing weird. "One of the barriers to asking deeper questions is that you don't want to appear nosy. 'Hey, when was the last time you cried in front of another person?' You can't just ask people these kinds of questions out of the blue."
A lot of people find the phrase "it is what it is" annoying and unhelpful. I've found it to be a great way to remind me that most of life is out of my control. It's best to focus on what I CAN control.
WNRS is not the only card game that aims to empower deeper and more meaningful connections. Dr. Patrice Le Goy told the Guardian that one reason for their popularity is that after the pandemic, people feel more comfortable being open and vulnerable with others."t’s much more in the zeitgeist that people can talk a bit more freely about having a hard time, or their childhood trauma, or being in therapy."
"Why do you never text me back?" does sound a bit demanding, but I like how the reply turned it into "Haven't heard from you in a while, how's things?"
We might be more open about the mental health struggles we face, but we're still finding it hard to connect with people. It's the age-old problem of the wallflowers: we mistakenly assume that people are not interested in chit-catting with us. As the authors of a Stanford University study note, we "routinely ignore strangers in [our] close proximity."
The second best closure is knowing that I didn't even need to try my best.
Personality matters more than looks - especially as you get older. You hook up for the sex but you should only marry for the patience and sense of humour.
Relationship experts say that conversation game cards can help in the early stages of a relationship. It's a good idea to try them out even on a first date! Sex and relationship therapist Katherine Hertlein, PhD, LMFT told SELF magazine that they can help bypass the awkwardness of a first date. "They also help bring up topics that might not come up naturally but are essential for understanding each other," she explained.
"Everyone you will ever meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about". Be kind.
I can't help thinking that the Covid mask adds a secondary line to this thought...
What are your strategies for creating more meaningful connections with your family, friends, and significant others, Pandas? Do you like to play conversation games like WNRS and do you find them helpful? Let us know in the comments! And if you're looking for more from the "We're Not Really Strangers" project, check out this article here!
My favorite thing to tell my favorite people is "thank you for being you"
It often helps if you open up about something, first, to show them the way.
If you aren't sure you're ready, at least be open to the possibility of new experiences.
Side note, the person who took the photo of this did a good job hiding themselves from the reflection
I prefer the "Thank yourself for how far you've come - it hasn't been easy" - we all need a little bit of self-appreciation. Not a lot, just a little.