They say Scotland is a land of immeasurable beauty, inspiring history, and immense wit. To get a glimpse of the first two, you can watch Braveheart. But to experience the third, you can simply go on Twitter (now X)—some people even say Scottish Twitter is arguably the nation’s finest export. We know you think it’s scotch, but scroll through this list, and then we’ll talk.
The subreddit named Scottish People Twitter has been making headlines online since its creation in 2015. It started by collecting tweets like “maw bought aldi shower gel that smells like fairy liquid so I’ve been cutting about all day smelling like a f**ing plate” and “Can live wi paying 5p for one but am sick of having to f**in light the beacons of Gondor to summon someone anytime I want a bag in Asda” and quickly grew into a 700K-member community, enjoying a good laugh when they see one.
This post may include affiliate links.
Clever Cat
We All Need A Little Confidence Boost
Mask Up, Ya Bams
Bored Panda spoke with Reddit user Veloglasgow, one of the moderators of r/ScottishPeopleTwitter, to get a better understanding of the content on the subreddit. “Scots generally have a dark, dry, and direct sense of humor,” they said. “Observational comedy where someone points out something that everyone accepts as day-to-day reality but which would be absurd to an outside observer also goes down well.”
Our Currency Is The Best!
He's Been Well Done There
What Freedom Is Aw Aboot
Veloglasgow said that posts where people are sarcastically replying to other tweets are probably most representative of real-world Scottish humor.
“Most posts that make it through the mod queue are representative. Any posts that use ‘fooken’ or ‘fecking’ for fu*ken/fu*king are generally removed as no Scot hears how we say those words as that way phonetically,” the moderator explained.
Stating The Obvious
Manbat
Hunner Percent
Examining the many social and cultural features of Scottish Twitter, journalist Eve Livingston said it has provided a medium for the written Scots language to evolve in a way that wasn’t possible before the advent of social media.
“Scots was the national language of a country that doesn’t exist anymore,” writer and presenter Alistair Heather, who writes a Scots column in Scotland’s The National newspaper, explained. “As Scotland was amalgamated into Great Britain, Scots fell away from being a national language because it didn’t have a nation anymore.”
Heather said that until relatively recently, Scottish opinion-formers in news and media were [mostly] based in England and not plugged into working-class or rural Scotland at all, so they didn’t see Scots language as a contemporary issue in Scotland.
“[But] it’s gaining a lot of legitimacy and validity through social media as a private expression [while] finding a public sphere.”
What Windows?
Xmas Miracle
Wholesome
Scottish Clothes Shops
Expectations vs. Reality
Quick Take On The Scottish Play
Good Luck At School Today
Can’t Beat A Fathers Jokes
FS John, Too Soon
Well That’s Us Screwed
Life, Eh, Finds A Way
Lightning Lizzie
It's That Easy
Good Tae Know
Aye, Ye Pair Ay Bampots
London 1993
Our Government
Yer Da Does The Washing
Dilf Hunter
Hotland
Fair Enough
Shavin A Tattie
Very Fair Point
Yer No Meant To Eat The Parts Separately
Ye Nugget
Maccies
Da-Da-Da-Da!
Goths Are A Dying Breed
Ye Goin For A S***e Hen?
Platinum Next X
Pizza Time
Mad Stoater
Half Pizza Crunch Supper
It's from peering at the pre nuptial agreement hoping she can find a loopholexto escape.
She's just as bad as her orange buffoon of a husband.
Load More Replies...She's an immigrant. I'm surprised trump hasn't had her deported yet!
She's a squinter for sure. I think she needs glasses, doesn't want them and can't figure out contacts. Or she's just stupid.
She had glasses and threw them away. She doesn't want to have to actually see that Dorito head clearly.
Load More Replies...That's her permanent look after years of trying to see the old man's w***y.
She's squinting so Donald looks at least half human and no a fake tanned scarecrow
It's from trying to understand the liberal politicians immature stupidity.
She's a victim? She chose to marry the "billionaire". Guarantee she is only staying for the money. If that's what she cares about, fine. But she is not a victim. Trump bought her, but she had a say in it.
Load More Replies...Intimate And Sacred
A Record To Be Proud Of
Vegan Scottish Cuisine
We Love Arbroath
On The Bus
Absolute Fact
Genitals!
And One For Yourself Bartender
If I ever make it to Scotland I need to remember c*nt is is a term of endearment
Steady there fella, you cannae just go around spouting C*nt. If you call some c*nt the wrong type of c*nt you may end up getting your c*nt kicked in
Load More Replies...Gosh I have a C2 level in English and I DON'T UNDERSTAND SCOTTISH EVEN WHEN IT'S WRITTEN DOWN lol
It's meant to get slightly less funny as you go down the list due to the voting. It doesn't. All of them made me laugh, and some of them I nearly stopped breathing. I love you guys.
Words can't describe how much I love Scotland and Scottish people. I wish I could upvote this more times. Even them swearing is like a sweet song to my ears.
Enjoyed these but the f*****g c***s that submitted them should have included f*****g subtitles on some of them.
Is it weird that I’m not Scottish and yet understood most of these? Then again I once dated a Scottish lad, and once went out drinking with a group of Scots, so maybe I absorbed it by association or something? Or it’s just a quirk..who knows? Funny as hell though
I am partially deaf and had a lot of trouble understanding the Scottish accent :)~
Did anyone else read this in their head in a super thick Scottish accent? Like I'm American but d*mn this was coming in thickkkkkk
If I ever make it to Scotland I need to remember c*nt is is a term of endearment
Steady there fella, you cannae just go around spouting C*nt. If you call some c*nt the wrong type of c*nt you may end up getting your c*nt kicked in
Load More Replies...Gosh I have a C2 level in English and I DON'T UNDERSTAND SCOTTISH EVEN WHEN IT'S WRITTEN DOWN lol
It's meant to get slightly less funny as you go down the list due to the voting. It doesn't. All of them made me laugh, and some of them I nearly stopped breathing. I love you guys.
Words can't describe how much I love Scotland and Scottish people. I wish I could upvote this more times. Even them swearing is like a sweet song to my ears.
Enjoyed these but the f*****g c***s that submitted them should have included f*****g subtitles on some of them.
Is it weird that I’m not Scottish and yet understood most of these? Then again I once dated a Scottish lad, and once went out drinking with a group of Scots, so maybe I absorbed it by association or something? Or it’s just a quirk..who knows? Funny as hell though
I am partially deaf and had a lot of trouble understanding the Scottish accent :)~
Did anyone else read this in their head in a super thick Scottish accent? Like I'm American but d*mn this was coming in thickkkkkk