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They say Scotland is a land of immeasurable beauty, inspiring history, and immense wit. To get a glimpse of the first two, you can watch Braveheart. But to experience the third, you can simply go on Twitter (now X)—some people even say Scottish Twitter is arguably the nation’s finest export. We know you think it’s scotch, but scroll through this list, and then we’ll talk.

The subreddit named Scottish People Twitter has been making headlines online since its creation in 2015. It started by collecting tweets like “maw bought aldi shower gel that smells like fairy liquid so I’ve been cutting about all day smelling like a f**ing plate” and “Can live wi paying 5p for one but am sick of having to f**in light the beacons of Gondor to summon someone anytime I want a bag in Asda” and quickly grew into a 700K-member community, enjoying a good laugh when they see one.

#1

Clever Cat

Funny Scottish tweet about cats

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#2

We All Need A Little Confidence Boost

Funny Scottish tweet about cactus

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#3

Mask Up, Ya Bams

Funny Scottish tweet about not wearing a mask

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Bored Panda spoke with Reddit user Veloglasgow, one of the moderators of r/ScottishPeopleTwitter, to get a better understanding of the content on the subreddit. “Scots generally have a dark, dry, and direct sense of humor,” they said. “Observational comedy where someone points out something that everyone accepts as day-to-day reality but which would be absurd to an outside observer also goes down well.”

#4

Our Currency Is The Best!

Funny Scottish tweet about currency

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#5

He's Been Well Done There

Funny Scottish tweet about cooking a steak

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#6

What Freedom Is Aw Aboot

Funny Scottish tweet about pregnancy

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Veloglasgow said that posts where people are sarcastically replying to other tweets are probably most representative of real-world Scottish humor.

“Most posts that make it through the mod queue are representative. Any posts that use ‘fooken’ or ‘fecking’ for fu*ken/fu*king are generally removed as no Scot hears how we say those words as that way phonetically,” the moderator explained.

#7

Stating The Obvious

Funny Scottish tweet about opening a door

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#8

Manbat

Funny Scottish tweet about funny nickname

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#9

Hunner Percent

Funny Scottish tweet about Corona virus

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Examining the many social and cultural features of Scottish Twitter, journalist Eve Livingston said it has provided a medium for the written Scots language to evolve in a way that wasn’t possible before the advent of social media.

“Scots was the national language of a country that doesn’t exist anymore,” writer and presenter Alistair Heather, who writes a Scots column in Scotland’s The National newspaper, explained. ​“As Scotland was amalgamated into Great Britain, Scots fell away from being a national language because it didn’t have a nation anymore.”

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Heather said that until relatively recently, Scottish opinion-formers in news and media were [mostly] based in England and not plugged into working-class or rural Scotland at all, so they didn’t see Scots language as a contemporary issue in Scotland.

“[But] it’s gaining a lot of legitimacy and validity through social media as a private expression [while] finding a public sphere.”

#10

What Windows?

Funny Scottish tweet about a peephole on a door

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#11

Xmas Miracle

Funny Scottish tweet about a lost necklace

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#12

Wholesome

Funny Scottish tweet about the other half

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#13

Scottish Clothes Shops

Funny Scottish tweet about a Scottish clothes store

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#14

Expectations vs. Reality

Man playing a bagpipe and a man on a traffic light

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#15

Quick Take On The Scottish Play

Funny Scottish tweet about Macbeth characters

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#16

Good Luck At School Today

Funny Scottish tweet about Covid protections in school

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#17

Can’t Beat A Fathers Jokes

Funny Scottish tweet about a Loch Ness monster

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#18

FS John, Too Soon

Funny Scottish tweet about a hamster trauma

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#19

Well That’s Us Screwed

Funny Scottish tweet about cats invading Scotland

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#20

Life, Eh, Finds A Way

Funny Scottish tweet about a breakfast

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#21

Lightning Lizzie

Funny Scottish tweet about the Queen finishing a marathon

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#22

It's That Easy

Funny Scottish tweet about pronouncing Edinburgh

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#23

Good Tae Know

Funny Scottish tweet about a pie

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#24

Aye, Ye Pair Ay Bampots

Funny Scottish tweet about a costume change

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#25

London 1993

Funny Scottish tweet about different nationalities

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#26

Our Government

Funny Scottish tweet about the UK Prime Minister

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#27

Yer Da Does The Washing

Funny Scottish tweet about a scary see through a window

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#28

Dilf Hunter

Funny Scottish tweet about a dad

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#29

Hotland

Funny Scottish tweet about hot weather in Scotland

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#30

Fair Enough

Funny Scottish tweet about voting in the election

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#31

Shavin A Tattie

Funny Scottish tweet about shaving private places

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#32

Very Fair Point

Funny Scottish tweet about a television

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#33

Yer No Meant To Eat The Parts Separately

Funny Scottish tweet the condiments of Nutella

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#34

Ye Nugget

Funny Scottish tweet about immigrants

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#35

Maccies

Funny Scottish tweet about pay for McDonald's workers

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#36

Da-Da-Da-Da!

Funny Scottish tweet about a Super Bowl 2020

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#37

Goths Are A Dying Breed

Funny Scottish tweet about races in Scotland

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#38

Ye Goin For A S***e Hen?

Funny Scottish tweet about living in Scotland

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#39

Platinum Next X

Funny Scottish tweet about giving a haircut

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#40

Pizza Time

Funny Scottish tweet about replacing a wall clock with a pizza

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#41

Mad Stoater

Funny Scottish tweet a twin sibling

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#42

Half Pizza Crunch Supper

Funny Scottish tweet a funny trait of Melania Trump

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Virgil Blue
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It's from peering at the pre nuptial agreement hoping she can find a loopholexto escape.

Nikki Sevven
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

She's had her eyelids pulled so tight that she can only squint.

Sam T Godfrey
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

She's an immigrant. I'm surprised trump hasn't had her deported yet!

Sue Knerl
Community Member
3 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

She's a squinter for sure. I think she needs glasses, doesn't want them and can't figure out contacts. Or she's just stupid.

Lisa
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

She had glasses and threw them away. She doesn't want to have to actually see that Dorito head clearly.

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Julie Aaaa
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That's her permanent look after years of trying to see the old man's w***y.

Pheline
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

She gets fillers? It’s part of making her attractive? She proved to be no victim.

Dodo
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is gonna be like Monsters Inc, right? Just needs glasses

Andy Pandy
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

She's squinting so Donald looks at least half human and no a fake tanned scarecrow

Ambry Petersen
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It's from trying to understand the liberal politicians immature stupidity.

E Menendez
Community Member
3 years ago (edited)

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

I feel bad for Melania. Leave the poor woman alone. I won't judge you for your decisions that have no effect on me so don't judge her on her decisions that have no effect on you. You don't know her life and neither do I do neither of us are in a place to judge her personal decisions. And keep in mind - if you believe Trump is a true monster, then now you are blaming the victim. Stop hating on her. But yes, in this she does look like she is looking at a chippy menu - which is said in good fun. I just dislike people's negative comments about her.

Becca Gizmo the Squirrel
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

She's a victim? She chose to marry the "billionaire". Guarantee she is only staying for the money. If that's what she cares about, fine. But she is not a victim. Trump bought her, but she had a say in it.

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#43

Intimate And Sacred

Funny Scottish tweet about sex

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#44

A Record To Be Proud Of

Funny Scottish tweet about eating a lot of crisps

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#45

Vegan Scottish Cuisine

Funny Scottish tweet about being quarantined in Edinburgh

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#46

We Love Arbroath

Funny Scottish tweet about Scottish city names

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#47

On The Bus

Funny Scottish tweet about people talking on Coronavirus

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#48

Absolute Fact

Funny Scottish tweet about things that are good in the UK

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#49

Genitals!

Funny Scottish tweet about being obsessed with other people genitals

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#50

And One For Yourself Bartender

Funny Scottish tweet about spending money abroad

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We’ve had our share of laughs with these Scottish tweets, bringing a slice of Scotland humor straight to your screen. What’s next? It’s your turn to join the fun! Show some love to the tweets you loved the most, or swing by the comment section. Maybe you’ve stumbled upon some funny Scottish tweets (now posts) yourself. Time to share them with us!

#51

Ye Gotta Draw The Line Mumwhere

Ye Gotta Draw The Line Mumwhere

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#52

At Least They Voted!

At Least They Voted!

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#53

Shame

Shame

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#54

Absolutely Out Of It

Absolutely Out Of It

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#55

Uncle Dug

Uncle Dug

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#56

Merry Christmas Everyone

Merry Christmas Everyone

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#57

Didnae Get Far Did Ye

Didnae Get Far Did Ye

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#58

Dexter The Dug

Dexter The Dug

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#59

Absolute Genius

Absolute Genius

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#60

In Case Someone Forgot This Masterpiece

In Case Someone Forgot This Masterpiece

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#61

Dont Want To Piss Off The Scottish

Dont Want To Piss Off The Scottish

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#62

Glasgoths

Glasgoths

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#63

Who's The Lucky Girl?

Who's The Lucky Girl?

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#64

He’s Gonna Go Far

He’s Gonna Go Far

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#65

You Still There?

You Still There?

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#66

Double Scottish

Double Scottish

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#67

Speeding Ostrich

Speeding Ostrich

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#68

Fishsticks

Fishsticks

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#69

Eloquently Put

Eloquently Put

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#70

We Used To Be Accountants Really

We Used To Be Accountants Really

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#71

Aye Just A Wee Side Note

Aye Just A Wee Side Note

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#72

Best. Dad. Ever

Best. Dad. Ever

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#73

Local Bouncer / Door Steward In Ma Town Making The Best Of A Bad Situation By Providing The Giggles

Local Bouncer / Door Steward In Ma Town Making The Best Of A Bad Situation By Providing The Giggles

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#74

These Flowers Are A Mystery

These Flowers Are A Mystery

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#75

Aye

Aye

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#76

Sounds More Like The 30!

Sounds More Like The 30!

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#77

Honesty's The Best Policy

Honesty's The Best Policy

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#78

True Happiness

True Happiness

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#79

Something Not Right About That Soap

Something Not Right About That Soap

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#80

All Those Hypotheticals

All Those Hypotheticals

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#81

Birds Could Prolly Swim In Lava And Be Fine

Birds Could Prolly Swim In Lava And Be Fine

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#82

Too *old* Tae Vote, That’s Yer Problem

Too *old* Tae Vote, That’s Yer Problem

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#83

Worky Dug

Worky Dug

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#84

Gonnae No Call Me That

Gonnae No Call Me That

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#85

Sair Heid?

Sair Heid?

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#86

Just To Be Safe...

Just To Be Safe...

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#87

Nevermind X

Nevermind X

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#88

Wean's First Tooth

Wean's First Tooth

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#89

Screw The Tories

Screw The Tories

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#90

Clean Up On Aisle 4

Clean Up On Aisle 4

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#91

Frankie Doesn't Care

Frankie Doesn't Care

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#92

Good Thinking Wee Man

Good Thinking Wee Man

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#93

Two Faced C**ts

Two Faced C**ts

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#94

Proud As Punch

Proud As Punch

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#95

Too Right

Too Right

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#96

Cheers Gran

Cheers Gran

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#97

Being A Dad Has Its Perks

Being A Dad Has Its Perks

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#98

Exam Advice

Exam Advice

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#99

A Wee Fanny

A Wee Fanny

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#100

10/10

10/10

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#101

A Massive Lad

A Massive Lad

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#102

Big Note

Big Note

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#103

Where Are You From?

Where Are You From?

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#104

Gotta Love Scottish Patter

Gotta Love Scottish Patter

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#105

Suns Oot Mirrors Oot

Suns Oot Mirrors Oot

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#106

Thats No Hapnin

Thats No Hapnin

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#107

Ye Ma Takes Length

Ye Ma Takes Length

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#108

8 Year Olds...

8 Year Olds...

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#109

Ya Tube

Ya Tube

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#110

A Junkie's Wisdom

A Junkie's Wisdom

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#111

Another Breed Of Spastic

Another Breed Of Spastic

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#112

I Think Frankie’s Onto Something

I Think Frankie’s Onto Something

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#113

My Wee Angle

My Wee Angle

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#114

Papa Can You Hear Me?

Papa Can You Hear Me?

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#115

Coronavirus Arrives In Scotland

Coronavirus Arrives In Scotland

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#116

Would Be An Absolutely Class Idea To Be Fair

Would Be An Absolutely Class Idea To Be Fair

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#117

Brick That Thing

Brick That Thing

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#118

Absolute Unit

Absolute Unit

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#119

‘Hink That’s Fair Enough

‘Hink That’s Fair Enough

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#120

Outstanding Patter

Outstanding Patter

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#121

Oompa Loompa, Do-Ba-Dee-Doo

Oompa Loompa, Do-Ba-Dee-Doo

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#122

Just Subbed Tae Isis

Just Subbed Tae Isis

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#123

Scottish Schools Are Where Girls Get Pregnant And Where Boys Go To Sell Drugs (I Should Know I Went To Armadale Academy)

Scottish Schools Are Where Girls Get Pregnant And Where Boys Go To Sell Drugs (I Should Know I Went To Armadale Academy)

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#124

It Honestly Is Ridiculous How Long They Left

It Honestly Is Ridiculous How Long They Left

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#125

Constant Struggle

Constant Struggle

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#126

The Rare, Understandable Scottish Men

The Rare, Understandable Scottish Men

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#127

She Was Lucky

She Was Lucky

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#128

Wouldn't Expect Any Less From A Soulless Ginger

Wouldn't Expect Any Less From A Soulless Ginger

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#129

It’s Tradition

It’s Tradition

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#130

The Force Is Strong In This Wan

The Force Is Strong In This Wan

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#131

"Av Not Got Dementia"

"Av Not Got Dementia"

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#132

Security To Get A Munch

Security To Get A Munch

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#133

Smirnoff Ice

Smirnoff Ice

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#134

I Remember My First Bus Journey

I Remember My First Bus Journey

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#135

Who The Hell You Talkin Tae

Who The Hell You Talkin Tae

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#136

Solid Plan

Solid Plan

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#137

Life Must Be Good Being A Dug

Life Must Be Good Being A Dug

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#138

You’ll Pay Him For It N All

You’ll Pay Him For It N All

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#139

This Is Madness

This Is Madness

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#140

Too Wee, Too Poor, Too Stupid

Too Wee, Too Poor, Too Stupid

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#141

Beautiful

Beautiful

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#142

Guys Dont Use Tinder It's Crap

Guys Dont Use Tinder It's Crap

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#143

Busted

Busted

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#144

Happy Birthday To Big J

Happy Birthday To Big J

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#145

Absolute Roaster

Absolute Roaster

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#146

Some Good Financial News!

Some Good Financial News!

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#147

Old But Gold

Old But Gold

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#148

Pretending Aye?

Pretending Aye?

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#149

Meanwhile In Edinburgh...

Meanwhile In Edinburgh...

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