ADVERTISEMENT

Scotland is a magical place to visit, but life there is far more than just about haunted castles, haggis, windswept moors, dinosaur-laden lochs, Hogwarts, and endlessly changing weather. To truly understand the country’s way of life, you need to get to grips with its humor.

Luckily, the popular ‘Scottish Patter’ social media project is here to help everyone with that task. It shares some of the wittiest and hilarious memes, jokes, and insights related to the Scottish perspective. We’ve collected some of the finest ones to share with you. Scroll down for a good dose of comedy, and if you have a good laugh, be sure to spread it some more.

More info: Facebook | Instagram

Scotland is one of the four countries that make up the United Kingdom, the others being England, Wales, and Northern Ireland. Scotland comprises nearly a third of the territory of Great Britain and is home to over 5.4 million people. Part of Scotland’s territory comprises more than 790 islands.

It's an increasingly popular destination to live in. The National Records of Scotland reports that the Scottish population in the year up to mid-2023 rose to 5,490,100. This is 43,100 people more than in the middle of 2022.

ADVERTISEMENT

The BBC reports that this 0.8% increase in population is the biggest single-year jump since 1946-1947. The biggest reason for this growth is more Brits and foreigners moving to Scotland.

“Almost two-thirds of people moving to Scotland came from outside the UK. We also saw a fall in the number of people leaving Scotland. Without migration into Scotland, the population would have fallen,” the National Records of Scotland head of demographic statistics, Esther Roughsedge, explained.

ADVERTISEMENT

However, the population situation isn’t as rosy as some might think. “Deaths outnumbered births by the highest amount on record. There were 19,100 more deaths than births,” she said.

ADVERTISEMENT

Meanwhile, the Scottish population is getting older, with over a fifth of residents aged 65 and over. Only 16% of Scots were aged 15 or under.

#10

Funny-Scottish-Humour-Posts

Scottish Patter Report

Add photo comments
POST
SD
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Lol. I used to work at a bank with someone named Stirling and we used to call him GBP 😆

View More Replies...
View more commentsArrow down menu

The ‘Scottish Patter’ project has been entertaining and amusing the internet for a long while now. Originally, its Facebook page was created in late November 2016, nearly 8 years ago.

As the idea behind the page started gaining traction, the humor-loving team behind it branched out to Instagram, too, in April 2017.

We've reached out to the team curating the project to learn more about its history, and we'll update the article as soon as we hear back from them.

ADVERTISEMENT

At the time of writing, ‘Scottish Patter’ has an impressive 730k followers on Facebook. The page has also garnered an impressive 601k likes on the social network. Meanwhile, on Instagram, the project has seen an even greater deal of success. Currently, there are 1.1 million Scottish-humor-loving internet users who follow the account there.

The ‘patter’ in ‘Scottish Patter’ doesn’t just refer to rain (a common sight if you’ve ever visited the country). ‘Patter,’ according to the Cambridge Dictionary, is continuous and sometimes funny speech or talk.

ADVERTISEMENT

Often, it’s related to entertainers speaking or someone trying to sell you something. Between the reference to rain and entertainment, it’s such a clever play on words. It’s fitting for a culture that values puns so much.

#19

Funny-Scottish-Humour-Posts

Scottish Patter Report

Add photo comments
POST
BeesEelsAndPups
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My smart a*s would have replied to him with: "Oh, I hope you packed your parachute well then"

View More Replies...
View more commentsArrow down menu

The linguistic fun and depth of the ‘patter’ part of ‘Scottish Patter’ goes even further. To continue, ‘patter’ can simply refer to talking, according to the Dictionaries of the Scots Language. For example, someone just chatting away. In other contexts, it’s more akin to banter, meant to impress or amuse someone.

ADVERTISEMENT

‘Patter’ can also mean any kind of insider’s language and someone’s street smarts. This interpretation can refer to the idea that you can’t really comprehend a different culture without having experienced it firsthand.

In this case, ‘Scottish Patter’ memes, while witty and illuminating, might not always be comprehensible to outsiders. There will always be a few jokes that require some firsthand life experiences and unspoken context to make you laugh aloud.

Which of the memes featured here did you enjoy the most? Have you ever visited or lived in Scotland? What do you personally love the most about Scottish culture, dear Pandas? Tell us all about it in the comments section.

ADVERTISEMENT

Meanwhile, if you enjoy this type of humor, be sure to follow ‘Scottish Patter’s’ socials for the freshest memes.

#30

Funny-Scottish-Humour-Posts

Scottish Patter , x.com Report

Add photo comments
POST
howdylee
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I've heard this debate before... we gotta set some ground rules. 1 What are we drinking? 2 How long do we have to drink? 3 Is it about quantity or drunkenness? Cuz pounding Bud Lights is different from shots of whiskey... I'm genuinely curious of the outcome.

View More Replies...
View more commentsArrow down menu
#31

Funny-Scottish-Humour-Posts

Scottish Patter Report

#33

Funny-Scottish-Humour-Posts

Scottish Patter Report

Add photo comments
POST
*raspberry sound
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

"going postal" was a phrase in the States in the 90's, it was due to the frequency at which postal workers were going on rampages. It happened, like, twice and was probably due in part to it being the f*****g Wild West over here.

View More Replies...
View more commentsArrow down menu
ADVERTISEMENT
#36

Funny-Scottish-Humour-Posts

Scottish Patter Report

#37

Funny-Scottish-Humour-Posts

Scottish Patter Report

Add photo comments
POST
Marno C.
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Of course it is! Mine is the big one on the front right.

michael Chock
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Only because all the other burners on the stove top are crooked.

Shelli Aderman
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

For us yanks, does that mean “burner on the stove?” 😉 If so, it’s totally the bottom right!

James016
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

We have a domino hob, it has one big circle. The other part is an induction hob

Celtic Pirate Queen
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Absolutely! In the US, it's the bigger one on the front right. The rest don't even really matter.

sbj
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yes! Mine's the biggest one so I can burn everything I attempt to cook to a crisp

View More Replies...
View more commentsArrow down menu
#39

Funny-Scottish-Humour-Posts

Scottish Patter , x.com Report

Add photo comments
POST
Sherribobbins
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Bahaha my ex husband is from Greenock, this would be a very true observation.

View more commentsArrow down menu
#41

Funny-Scottish-Humour-Posts

Scottish Patter Report

Add photo comments
POST
Marianne
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Seriously, though. Why do you guys have the same word for spicy and very warm? Don't you miscommunicate all the time? These 2 properties of food do occur at the same time a lot.

View More Replies...
View more commentsArrow down menu
ADVERTISEMENT
See Also on Bored Panda
#46

Funny-Scottish-Humour-Posts

Scottish Patter Report

Add photo comments
POST
Kristal
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Hey! Don't knock finding affordable appliances. Everyone deserves affordable appliances.

View More Replies...
View more commentsArrow down menu
#49

Funny-Scottish-Humour-Posts

Scottish Patter Report

Add photo comments
POST
Not-a-Clue (she/her)
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Well of course! If there's a bus/lorry on your right you can't see if anything is coming in any case.

View more commentsArrow down menu
Continue reading with Bored Panda Premium
Unlimited content
Ad-free browsing
Dark mode
ADVERTISEMENT
See Also on Bored Panda
#56

Funny-Scottish-Humour-Posts

Scottish Patter , x.com Report

Add photo comments
POST
#58

Funny-Scottish-Humour-Posts

Scottish Patter Report

Add photo comments
POST
Glix Drap
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Waitrose does. OK, this is a lie but I wonder how many people would believe it.

View More Replies...
View more commentsArrow down menu
ADVERTISEMENT
See Also on Bored Panda
#62

Funny-Scottish-Humour-Posts

Scottish Patter Report

Add photo comments
POST
Louisa johnson
Community Member
Premium
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Used to be a couple of crates of 24 cans of strongbow when I was younger

View more commentsArrow down menu
ADVERTISEMENT
See Also on Bored Panda
#67

Funny-Scottish-Humour-Posts

Scottish Patter Report

Add photo comments
POST
Pernille
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I have an olive farm with loads of animals in south west France.....sorry to those who had to witness my only talent.

View More Replies...
View more commentsArrow down menu
#74

Funny-Scottish-Humour-Posts

Scottish Patter Report

Add photo comments
POST
Savahax
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The reason you cover up licence plates is to avoid cloning.

View more commentsArrow down menu
ADVERTISEMENT
See Also on Bored Panda
#77

Funny-Scottish-Humour-Posts

Scottish Patter Report

Add photo comments
POST
Glix Drap
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Same sentiment might be applied to Scots who complain about the midges in summer - just move somewhere else away from them.

View More Replies...
View more commentsArrow down menu