Damn it, people. It's a joke. No need to educate us on the dangers of gluten.

gosh, i love this guy!

I like his sense of humor.

I would so buy that book.

he's so funny! :)

oooh you

That is hysterical and so many parents (man) will agree

... Well that is quite the visual

Well at least he's honest about it.

He was meant to be deadpool from the beginning

I wanna see the daughter's reaction to reading all these in ten years

didnt know my dad followed ryan reynolds

I'm doing this

Now I know why we should put our hands on our mouth while yawning. It's not good manners - it's protection!

I asked the vicar if we couldn't do up a Bible study called "50 Shades of Grace." He was not so open to the idea as I had hoped .

Hahahah!!

there's never a bad time to make fun of this song

Soooo...a hipster?

just LET IT GOOOOOOOOO

So sad. WE NEED TO FIX THIS SOMEHOW

that sounds like a really bad creepypasta

if procrastination and questioning life was a sport i would have gotten the longest streak of gold medals in history

Ohh yeah sounds bomb

That's kinda inconvenient because everything sounds like Hufflepuff when you're trying to talk around a ball gag.

Your Mom does that TOO?!?

That's legit. Use a ridiculous slang word, or use a word the wrong way and I will have trouble taking you seriously.

Mainly the ball gag.

Good to know

I can relate!

The next Charlie Waffle? (Two and a half men reference)

That would be so totally awesome

Still laughing!

I have five daughters. imagine just getting really good at bribing them. First, it starts with those little toys dispensed in plastic bubbles in the gumball machines. Then, it turns into video game cartridges, now it's online gaming coin, which is virtual money using real money to pay for it. Trust me, you will look back and wonder how you did it all... and kept your sanity.

Oh.

I know the feeling... like what your are having for dinner... If you list more than 5 ingredients, you have lost my attention

XD

Not sorrier than you're wife, I'm thinking.

It could only make the film better tbh

I've seen that film ( both versions ).

...

Wait for it. Soon they will tell you they are not hungry - but then come rushing in screaming when you decide the food looks too good to waste... and begin eating it.

Then say wait that's for only one person.

Defensive driving time!

Okay, those statues are really freaking creepy.

So this might be the best thing I've ever seen in writing. And I've read a lot of stuff soooo... just sayin...

Every. Day.

Mine too.

Gee, I can't see why.

I'm not surprised

Sounds even more extreme to us Europeans.... O_o

Yes. Yes it does

So unfair.

It was a good trade.

Too soon!!

Mine too!!!!

Sounds like something Dwight from The Office would say..