"Your kid is not the WORST patient we've had... This one kid tore down all our paintings! Wait.. that was your kid? Oh, nevermind..."

Chuckles 🤭

7 YO: That's also what dad days when he invites women upstairs.

If we still have Bored Panda in 12 years time, he’ll probably feature again in a thread about worst/best pick up lines.

I HATE my pound machine.

I want to know what happens when the little girl goes home & tells her parents that the kid took her upstairs to show her his 'pound' machine!

Give it a few years...

. . . for now.

Once they start school & you can no longer seclude them from what's Out There, it gets scary. Your Spidey sense stays on alert, trying to stay ahead of whatever they just learned from whoever. "Pound machine? Is it bad? Dangerous? Should l call somebody?" As you stealthily follow them...

few years later into late teens...

Oh good grief!

My son had a little girl in his class over for a playdate (5 yrs old). They went in the den and sat on the couch in silence for an awkwardly long time. Finally my son had a lightbulb moment...he said "Hey, wanna see my cats' litter box?" "Sure" she said, and off they ran! That was his icebreaker!

My daughter told me at four years old one of her imaginary friends was treating her like a wife. After a long pause, I asked, what do you mean he was treating you like a wife? She answered, he makes me do all the work and just sits around telling me what he wants!

Oooooh spoooaghett!!

close call

I love the term pound machine!

This is what every presentations missing of!

I can;t get that visual out of my head. I may have just discovered my new muse.

It's all about priorities.

Well i mean its not exactly hard to miss, that things massive!

It's more like Broadway...

i would love it too!

Hahahaha

I think your kid is hanging around with the 12-yos.

The French fries is stick potatoes

But he was sharing! And planning!

Daaaaaaamn

How would you feel if some massive rando that bosses you around and tells you to eat your veggies just randomly decides to throw out your daughter? how would you feel?

chaotic neutral.

Mom? (I did that as a kid)

I feel this

They are trying to take out the trash

They will dine out on that story!!

This is me

Future streaker.

Phew! Because bright red poop in a young child can also be a sign of a very serious bowel disorder that needs immediate medical help. Source: thankfully did not die of this myself, but it was close.

Let it gooooo……

What he is not going to grow up to be. A dentist or an engineer.

Blimey, I’m going to be thinking about this for a while!

She's an old soul!

It was just one moment of weakness. I admit I am only human. Please forgive me...

My grandson (6yo) rarely says a word except a muttered 'yes' or 'no'. Imagine our surprise when on a long trip in the country he started counting 1 2 3 4 5 6 etc. He got to over a thousand before we managed to divert his attention to animal names which went on for another hour with animals I'd never heard of, the 'tarsier' sticks in my mind. He too has a limited vocabulary according to his teacher. Lol

Stockholmies made me laugh!

I vibe with this so hard.

And nobody said a thing about home-schooling either - and how many of us had past experience of that to draw on.

"but mommy wanted an extra challenge so thats why her hands were handcuffed and daddy was headbutting her legs!"

WTF is that? Liquid egg whites in a carton? Why is that even a thing?

...5's head then swiveled another 180° to face forward. O.o