This

Love this.

Srsly what a stupid advice

Or in a psych ward...

Awwww!

Because they tell us to!

Damn

Two words: compound interest.

Implying he's getting some

Okay, that's cool.

Drunk, certified bad word now. Freakin' dystopian.

hahahaha

This. This is the kind of man I need. The one I can be a best friend for.

It IS true though: keeping up with the Joneses doesn't make you any happier.

In the UK hospital parking charges are phenomenal.

Earthquake903

Earthquake903

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I swear there is a team of slow and omnipresent drivers out there that tag team stalking me. Most of them drive Subarus. But all of them have armor piercing headlights. I curse them with all of my hatred for having the audacity to also be traveling by car in my general vicinity.

My son was the victim of road rage. 5 cars were hit while he tried to get away from this a*****e. Road rage is horrible.

George Carlin had a bit on this I think in the 1990s https://youtu.be/1ygT0YnjdX0?si=ZRYzDtkr4D_SHhr3

Says my husband everytime he drives us somewhere. But add horn-honking, a middle finger, and the f-bomb several times. I'm serious. Even to the grocery store five minutes away.

When one of those slow drivers gets in front of me, I call them guardian angels sent to slow me down. That way, I won't kill them.

Whatever Colorado's posted speed is -- 95% of the people drive 5 or 10 mph faster. It's a tradition.

There was one d**k who was traveling the speed limit in the left lane. I blinked my headlights at them to no effect so I moved into the right lane and stayed in their blind spot until they moved over to the right lane. (Passing on the right is illegal and dangerous) They immediately moved right back into the left lane after I passed.

🤣 yep I my BFF is exactly the same!

Everyone who drives faster than you is an idiot, and everyone who drives slower than you is an idiot.😁

Semi trucks. You a******s think you own the roads. Ya don't and my a*s will show you that. The a*****e who pulled into the left lane with about 2ft of clearance....all you could do was give me the finger. Ha ya try me bro

Still have to mention Kung Fu Panda, who also did better.

Wait a HAND model for an ALCOHOL company is 100K!?!?! where do I sign up!?!?

It's on my to-do list. Actually, it's on several of my to-do lists, but most are buried under papers on my desk. Or in the stack of papers on the table. Or maybe on the chair next to my desk. I'll add "look for other to-do lists" to this to-do list.

And then I couldn’t text you because I realised I hadn’t answered your previous text and now I’m just waiting until I run in to you at the supermarket so we can laugh about it and start over?

I'll blindly side with this employee

🤣

Oh, yeah, allotting time to having a good cry is awesome! If I'm sad, I'll give myself 10/15 minutes to cry and then snap out of it.

Love this!

Ah! This is the Colombian multicoloured tanager (Chlorochrysa nitidissima). Before googling, I just knew it was a bird. :)

That's what cat owners be going through, dogs are the best

Perfectly reasonable and succinct conversation

Wtf?!? Where was this when I was sweatin' geography tests in grade school? I want a do-over.

But then he needed a SHOE to identify her?

Lean into the conspiracy theory

Relationship goals🤭

Not for THAT van, they're way more than 45k.

Earthquake903

Earthquake903

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Gorgist

Haha, I went through this too 😅

usually a bad thing that's funny is only funny to everyone else and not me

It's a disc, not a square.

Flawless logic

For a few weeks a year.