I am having that exact reasonable reaction

this should be higher :D

"I've painted my toilet more brown than the bark on that tree!"

There are very few places where a woman can relax like sitting naked on that leg-spreading chair

Ha. That's silly. Parents had much more reason to expect bad things to happen. When nuclear annihilation is only ten minutes away, petrol has already peaked, and soot in the atmosphere was scheduled to kill tens of millions of people within 40 years. Once you've lived through that, the concerns of the younger generation are ridiculously trivial by comparison.

Tip: To lie down is always the best solution.

True!

It would end abruptly. They would go mad.

I am hopeful he can be influenced with doggy treats 😍

amen

My job requires me to smile the entire time I'm there. So I'll cry on the inside.

Don't worry, I will laugh with you

Always a very early riser in Spring and Summer. It's the best time to walk the dogs. Peaceful, bird song, lovely sunrises and, for a short while, beautiful bluebells in the woods.

Once I was asked to come at 4 am to work and I refused saying it's the middle of the night. My boss was confused and asked how. I told him that I go to bed after midnight

So I took my daughter to work. She looked disappointed and asked out loud in the crowded office, "Daddy, where are all the clowns you always talk about?" Kids.

And December 😢

Tough crowd.

Stop the promotions! I didn't sign up for this 😂

Careful what you wish for.

Once bought nike shoes for 50% discount and had the same thought that no one would know because they looked amazing. One colleague commented that they are nice and I announced to the world that I got them for 50% less

I never understood this 'our team' business. You don't own it, work for it, have any kind of stake in it whatsoever. Why would you possibly care?

that is true

Dino Mcdinyface

I made this mistake. I got asked to lead a seminar, even though I’ve barely ever used Excel, I’m just good at clicking around until I figure stuff out.

I tried to be just that, doing little things to brighten up the day for my colleagues. Well... I understand not everyone likes it, but some people react like you are damaging the company, making mess and distracting others. For example, when I work as a receptionist, I kept a box of small chocolates under the desk and gave them to the employers (sometimes also to the clients and guests) when they looked they needed a little cheer up. I bought them myself and everyone seemed to enjoy it... Until my boss told me it's unprofessional to have food hidden on my desk and I should offer only tea or coffee. So I hid it better and offered it more secretly like a forbidden d**g ("Hi M., can I offer you a coffee or tea? And I cannot offer you chocolate but you look like someone who needs it... So... Please don't tell anyone but... Wanna some chocolate?"

Well, yeah. This is the bare minimum of security measures.

Hear hear!

Would you have preferred the one with the pure methane atmosphere, the one with crushing gravity and diamond hailstorms, or the one being ripped apart by the gravity wells of its two suns?

Lunchtime and breaks are also decent.

Yeah - the only reason not to buy a jumpsuit. Must be awful if you're three sheets to the wind.

This is why I don't talk about my feelings to anyone. Ever.

That can't possibly be a thing? Is it?- asking for myself and a friend 🧡

Those playgrounds made of pure metal were really dangerous. I know it!

:D :D :D :D

Guilty as charged...

My doctor does this and I never know what to say!

PLEASE...make a pest out of yourself to your Rep and Senator. Don't think it makes a difference? Ya never know..

This is the reason why I never have the central heating in my bedroom switched on and why I love my weighted blanket :-)

Weird, I had that happen just this week.

Those apologies happen only on screen

What?

Or.."F### it, I'll fill my tank instead of $20 worth"

Fair enough.

This one is my favourite.

Same! It's rare for me not to be at work mid-day but occasionally it happens (vet appointments, etc.). And I always holler "why aren't all you people at work!!!"

I had Saturday , Sunday. One friend had Friday, sat. Other one had Sunday, Monday. We never got to meet outside office

I have done it before, I will do it again

I adore that response 🥰

Or any 24 hr grocer at that time.

I just listen to music. 🤷🏾‍♀️

Shhh! It's a secret