It would end abruptly. They would go mad.

this should be higher :D

I am having that exact reasonable reaction

Tip: To lie down is always the best solution.

There are very few places where a woman can relax like sitting naked on that leg-spreading chair

Batwench

Batwench

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To be fair, I find that really funny.

Hear hear!

Let me tell you, 70 is definitely the new.........well 70 actually. I ache a lot, most of the time.

It's not easy being so cute.

Don't worry, I will laugh with you

"I've painted my toilet more brown than the bark on that tree!"

Tough crowd.

Yes! Go for it lol.

I am hopeful he can be influenced with doggy treats 😍

Me 100% every time!

I never understood this 'our team' business. You don't own it, work for it, have any kind of stake in it whatsoever. Why would you possibly care?

So I took my daughter to work. She looked disappointed and asked out loud in the crowded office, "Daddy, where are all the clowns you always talk about?" Kids.

I'm 68 and I haven't expected anything good to happen for at least 15 years. And now we're entering the Trumpageddon era on top of everything else 😬

amen

Do people who run marathons know that they don't have to?!

Dino Mcdinyface

Mightytoes thunderbutt.

That's what most dinosaur names are, though. Just in Latin. Tyrant Lizard King? Three Horned Head?

Trumpasaurus.

Yeah...pretty much.

This is so funny and so true!

My job requires me to smile the entire time I'm there. So I'll cry on the inside.

Always a very early riser in Spring and Summer. It's the best time to walk the dogs. Peaceful, bird song, lovely sunrises and, for a short while, beautiful bluebells in the woods.

We had one of those when I was in middle school. The inmate came out and immediately tripped over the microphone cord and there was simply no coming back from that for the guy.

Weird, I had that happen just this week.

For some reason that's usually the first thing I think of when I see pictures of jumpsuits: That's going to be real annoying when you have to go to the bathroom.

This one is my favourite.

Those playgrounds made of pure metal were really dangerous. I know it!

This is the reason why I never have the central heating in my bedroom switched on and why I love my weighted blanket :-)

thats called "reruns"

Well, yeah. This is the bare minimum of security measures.

Yes like I said hard escape room 😂

Would you have preferred the one with the pure methane atmosphere, the one with crushing gravity and diamond hailstorms, or the one being ripped apart by the gravity wells of its two suns?

Always remember! You know nothing at all. 😐

Stop the promotions! I didn't sign up for this 😂

Careful what you wish for.

I made this mistake. I got asked to lead a seminar, even though I’ve barely ever used Excel, I’m just good at clicking around until I figure stuff out.

My organization moved to Microsoft 365. Which means we can access all our work stuff from home. Which means--for me--I will never feel not guilty about not working when I'm sick again.

I was attacked/chased by dogs more than once as a kid so although I can be friendly with a dog I know is well-behaved, on the whole I keep my distance. Guess I’m a red flag then *shrugs*

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I tried to be just that, doing little things to brighten up the day for my colleagues. Well... I understand not everyone likes it, but some people react like you are damaging the company, making mess and distracting others. For example, when I work as a receptionist, I kept a box of small chocolates under the desk and gave them to the employers (sometimes also to the clients and guests) when they looked they needed a little cheer up. I bought them myself and everyone seemed to enjoy it... Until my boss told me it's unprofessional to have food hidden on my desk and I should offer only tea or coffee. So I hid it better and offered it more secretly like a forbidden d**g ("Hi M., can I offer you a coffee or tea? And I cannot offer you chocolate but you look like someone who needs it... So... Please don't tell anyone but... Wanna some chocolate?"

how did you get these pictures of my life!?!?!?

Milton Jones: Easiest job in the world - Australian psychiatrist. "Can you tell me your problems mate?" "No worries mate." "Great - next!"

Fair enough.

There may be an apocalypse. But at least we have pumpkin spice nuclear waste.