For 'human' read 'adult not working at a check-out', for extra points

I wear mismatching socks on purpose to see how long (or if) it takes someone to say something.

It's because they love you and want yo to be a success. And pay attention to them.

But never make it a competition - just acknowledge that your friends are tired too. Friends are open about these things.

Body-consciousness comes later - his or yours

Kid's energy is proportional to "number of things she might get away with, right now"

I like it, but in my life none of those pieces fit this precisely together :)

... and you also know that he's going to get his clothes wet and you'll have to get out and find dry ones for him. And then bathe him later tonight. You're responsible but he's in charge.

... "Hallo down there" ?

Haha also true if you have dogs

seen a flock of two year olds attack a mother for icecream. shudder

The times you'll remember as your best, are also the times you were within a grain of rice of losing it. But you (just) held it all together. Only just, but you did it

Let him choose his own challenges. And yours.

Two words they shouldn't teach in kindergarten - "Wanna" and "no". It can only end in tears

There's 'romantic' - and then there's 'realistic possibility of actually happening'. They do not inhabit the same universe

Pop !

If you've got time to fuss with foliage then ... he's been quiet for rather a long time ... PANIC !

Kids are different from you and me - they 'know' that someone will make it all good for them. And you're that someone

A house is a machine for living in. And playing.

... and you've been feeding me for a week. Works for me

My friend's dad got so tired of his three kids drawing on the walls that he painted over it with chalkboard paint and gave them a bucket of chalk. Lol

Extra points for that toilet thing if you're female and you have a son; triple points if you're male and you have a daughter. There Is No Right Answer