"I gotta run, my dog is splitting an atom in my backyard. Yes, I did say my dog, he's very smart and creative even without the opposable thumbs. Of course I've spoken to him, he understands what a nuclear winter is but it still seems to intrigue him."

I wish I could tak but my Harry Potter cardboard cutout got assaulted by the mailman.

I gotta run, my dog crashed my car.

look over there! Joe Biden peed on a little girl's lemonade stand

Look over there! my imaginary girlfriend just peed on a little girls lemonade stand

I wish I could talk with you Bored Pandas, but . . . my Harry Potter cardboard cutout . . . peed on a little girl's lemonade stand! 😬

Thanks allot. I just spent an hour reading all the possibilities to myself.

Look over there! My imaginary girlfriend fell into my neighbor’s pool

A cording to the list, I pick this for an excuse; It's been great talking to you but my mother just broke into my house 😂

Give your family my best but Amber Heard just broke into my house

I gotta run. My high school basketball team got assaulted by the mailman.

Ok this sounds like Amber Heard: Sorry to interrupt but Amber Heard just broke into my house and s**t on my bed. LOL 😂

My favorite random one so far: "Look over there! Joe Biden fell in the neighbor's pool!" 🤣🤣🤣

576 possibilities👍👍

I've seen different versions of this elsewhere. All funny

It's been great talking to you but joe Biden just broke into my house

Oh no look over there Joe Biden crasher my car!

*other person is talking* Me: sorry to interrupt you but my Harry Potter cardboard cutout peed on a little girl’s lemonade stand

“Sorry to interrupt you but Amber Heard peed on a little girl’s lemonade stand”

Lol, imagine telling someone with a straight face "Give your family my best because Joe Biden peed on a little girl's lemonade stand" 😂

I wish I could talk but Amber Heard just peed on a little girl's lemonade stand.

Epic

I would love to see Amber Heard falling into the neighbors pool but she would sue them too after a fake "fall".

oh no, i just got a text; my imaginary girlfriend peed on a little girl's lemonade stand! i have to take this-

Amber Heard in the neighbor's pool is the best! Guaranteed to get any "Colin Robinsons" attentions off of you and onto the next "energy meal". (Referencing the series 'What We Do In The Shadows'.)

I just got a text. A mall santa peed on a little girls lemonade stand

"Sorrt to do this, but my Harry Potter cardboard cutout crashed my car." or "Give your family my best because my high school basketball team just came back to life."

give your family my best because my highschool basketball team peer on a little girls lemonade stand 😭

The posibilities are endless! Thank you!

"Look over there! Amber Heard peed on a little girl's lemonade stand" would actually be credible.

It’s been great talking to you but a mall santa peed on a little girl’s lemonade stand

Gotta run my mother just came back to life 🤣

Could rename it "How to distract someone with ADHD".

Look over there! Amber Heard is splitting an atom in my backyard.

Give your family my best because my Harry Potter cutout got assaulted by the mailman.

This is genious!

I gotta run, joe bide. Peed on a girls lemonade stand

So many many funny possibilities.

I gotta run, my Harry Potter cardboard cutout just came back to life

Sorry to do this but my mother just broke into my house. Yeah she's very worried about whether I'm eating right

I wish I could talk but my Harry Potter cardboard cutout peed on a little girls lemonade stand

It’s been great talking to you, but Joe Biden got assaulted by the mailman

I just got a text: my Harry Potter cardboard cutout peed on a little girl's lemonade stand.

I usually just say that I've got to go to the loo. If I feel particularly posh I do it the Downton way: Heavens, is that the time already? I mustn't keep you!

i wish i could talk but my harry potter cardboard cutout peed on a little girl's lemonade stand, gotta run!