We just claw.

Apparently I roll my eyes so hard that the people around me can hear it.

When there’s food but not the food you want so you rather starve

Your own bed is even better

The cats have truly domesticated us.

How else would you talk to them? Of course they are going to respond.

Proud childless cat lady here. I am also nearly 50, never married & work in a library. I’m a living stereotype & loving every minute of it 😉

Or the person with the cart situated blocking the aisle, no room on either side. "Time for bumper cars".

That reminds me that I want to get some dinosaur shaped chicken nuggets when I next go to the grocery store.

But every 10 seconds, she was asking, " Have you got your passport? Show me your passport. "

Sounds about right

To circumvent this, my wife will fall asleep on the couch knowing that I cannot, and will not, let her sleep on the couch over night. It forces me to stop and say "Let's go to bed."

Well, Bored Panda is open 24/7...

If she goes to sleep early, the PlayStation goes on, I blink maybe twice, then all of a sudden she's telling me it's 3am and I should be in bed because I've got work in the morning. Thankfully, she very very rarely goes to bed early.

My husband and I cuddle up every night, neither of us can sleep without the other. If one of us falls asleep first then the other will just watch TV, scroll bp, read etc.

Had a control freak husband - when HE went to bed, I had to; when HE turned out his reading light I had to do the same. Took a few years, like 14, before I finally LEFT THAT POS!!!

I do this. It's called being a happy idiot who will be cranky and tired the next day who did a naughty thing the night before.

All the time.

Well...uhh... it's more, like... natural sleep cycle plus extremely differing work schedules... I work from home and I naturally feel start feeling sleepy around 3-4 am... which is the time the husband wakes up to go to work. I do believe I'm still an adult though - despite not having ye olde "stepford circadian rhythm"?

Lost a live in because I would not go to bed (and stay)every night at 8

I wish I was in that situation.

Separate bedrooms solves a lot of conflict.

All the time....it's me, I stay up way too late.

Almost every night!

Oh my God, this is so funny! I HATE how it's true!

I think it's for the damaged luggage on the carousel in arrivals, but that's just me.

At least I can mostly speak my mind with my patients. Sorry, if you don't quit the cigarettes and live more healthy you will significantly decrease your healthy life span. Some people need a kick in the a*s

Now THAT'S a power team!

And try to pass through a gate with them. It's adorable

This only works if your relationship is so bad that your partner wouldn't ask. I guess that's the prize you win for being passive aggressive?

Rich parents and a trust fund.

And there is no turbulence

An online friend and I discussed this exact hangup. Volume is much different on my new tv, also between different channels, and I can't play this game anymore.

I HATE when that happens . . . .

Wait, I’m not alone? Did someone get in because I didn’t check the door a fourth time?

Not those exact words, but my wife saw me refold my shirts once when I was still in the military... 14 years together and folding laundry is still my job XD

Wife gets up every morning around 3:30 (don't ask). I get up around 5:30 or 6. If I get up before that it"s " why are you up? This is my time."

My sister's dog smelled her breast cancer, now I don't like it when he follows me

Same with deer and rabbits. Can't they see I'm a Disney Princess in disguise??

No, that would be like sitting in a field of muesli with no fruit. Fries would be a carrot patch.

That's so f*****g true.

Try cricket! 🤣

My Armageddon gets unleashed instantly, unfortunately. Have many regretful texts..

We are always good. In fact, there is no minute of any day that we are not perfect.

07:59; we're not open yet, 09:03; all appointments gone.

It's a good way to save money 💰

Then you side eye the dog, they look away, side eye, look away "nope, not begging, just chillin'"

I'm not so sure that someone taking 'a patient's history' wouldn't know how to spell "new" correctly.

I once house-sat for a couple with a cat. The cat loved sci-fy shows, so one of the conditions of house-sitting was that I watched sci-fy shows with the cat. 10/10 experience.

Does your dog meow, perchance?

80085

It’s the kettle in our house. I’m hypersensitive so have to make the tea, to stop my wife making a bloody racket flicking the same switch in the same way as me. It doesn’t bother me when I do it

I hope you called the Guinness book of World Records!

That's the real adulting nobody tells you about.