But, if you're thinkin' about my baby, It don't matter if you're black or white

I love the smirk of the kid! 😁👍

Mine, too.

Darth Bride

I want one

The owner will be ecstatic to find his expensive leather wallet in the lost-and-found.

I AM the brokest I've ever been...AND about to be homeless.

what kind of malls do you ppl go to

Tyger Tyger, burning bright, In the forests of the night;

It's the little things..

He should enjoy it. It is the last time he is n^n years old.

Michlle took me shell

This seems like it would be satisfying

Hmm... I have not had cinnamon toast in ages. Now I kind of want.

Olive garden's a restaurant, right?

Your Genie has climaxed. You may now make your wishes

and SECOND of all...theres hydrogen and helium and lithium beryllium...i'll stop.

I'm 66 and I can't believe that people can't believe it's not butter

The dinos look like they all hold little chips bags.

Horses too. Silly things.

Growing up there was a neighborhood dog that would get loose. He was huge. He woild jump on you in excitement. His paws would be on your shoulders ( we were tall teenagers ). If he was too excited he would knock you down. Fun dog.

Real answer: It depends. The first photo is the Brage Drilling Facility in the North Sea, a fixed rig with a frame that go 140 meters deep to the bottom of the ocean, built on pontoons and sunk until it reaches the bottom. The second one I can't identify, but is clearly a semi-submersible platform. It is just floated to the place and partially sunk to make it stable.

Ok, I laughed at this way too hard 🤣🤣🤣

A: Does you dog bite? B: No. A: Pets dog who bites him A: I thought you said your dog doesn't bite. B: It's not my dog.

Genius. Now all you need is dumb cops. :)

(Insert inappropriate joke about where those fingers have been.)

Potential /s

AKA - "I stole these for you."

And does the doggo's owner get up to check? nooooo..........

Lotoo not Lotto?

That's impressive cutting.

SO TRUE OMG!

I know

Great joke, Mr. Manson!

hey buddy...mind if I get out first?

"Okay kids, Normally we would be showing you the nuclear reactor... but Bob sent it away to be cleaned. Bob is no longer with us which takes us to why you should never anger the boss"

Go Queen, go…no seriously, go…

The door did not make its saving throw.

And every hotel I stay at

Aren't they sunflowers rather than dates?

Bottom left looks like a black version of The Mask

Are you naming your daughter Wednesday Addams?

Yes, but would you step on a Lego?

Everyone instinctively knows that spider is getting ready to jump down your throat.

One is annoying, the other one might start a fire

Yep...if I had a man right now

Five minutes before guests arrive: me shoving stuff in the cupboard under the stairs, Mr Auntriarch starting to polish the silver cake forks and I'm not planning to serve cake.

That's has to be one of the most American things I've ever seen. I'm American, btw. Haha

Rear wheel drive

My stupid a*s will be talking to somebody on my phone, while freaking out a little when I can't feel the phone in my pocket.