Good job, me.

:(

This should popular opinion!

this is pure genius

That's made me chuckle :D

Sir Ian seems like he's a fun person

If you like this pneumatic jack hammer, you also might be interesting in this ergonomic crochet hook set.

Don't you just love it when billionaires complain?

And they get in trouble if they murder somebody.

I'm so sorry

Yes. I thank my lucky stars every day I live in a place where the former is the majority

This!

Agree!

I might hold a gander reveal party then release the geese on my foes...

Because it's my religious duty to be a bigot, homophobe and sexist according to my holy book, written by bigots, homophobes and sexists ages ago.

Thought it was only me!

Thats actually hilarious 😭😭😭😂😂😂

Many times while my wife was in the hospital fighting her losing battle with cancer, I would stay overnight with her. It cost me $25 every time I did. F'in US hospitals.

Just make a plate of nacho toppings and stick the nachos in :D

Hahaha...dammit, that's hilarious!!!

The fact they drew attention to this..

Why is your political affiliation so important to Americans? Are there no people that just don't like any of them? That think, I'll listen to what they say and vote for the person that seems to have the best ideas to me? Nobody that thinks, 'I agree with the Dems on that subject, but disagree with the other thing. And I like the Reps idea on this, but not on that'?

Sadly, the YT reply to that was to offer a premium...

When I was 7, I lost a tooth. I put it under my pillow for the tooth fairy. The next morning I found a $20 bill under my pillow. I rushed in to the kitchen and said "The tooth fairy gave me 20 bucks!!" My mother looked at my Dad and said "Wow...the tooth fairy was generous!" To which my Dad responds "Probably because it was dark and the tooth fairy couldn't see what he was pulling out of his wallet."

But he did go to Harvard... he just didn’t stay

The first breakdown would be their wage. The second would be their zero benefits. The third... no pension. This. Is. Genius.

Exactly!!!!!!!!!!! And what's with everyone flying off to far away places to enjoy the sun when I can't visit my parents who live 2 miles away!?

Trash in the sea, literally and figuratively...

You prefer kids running around at Costco? I prefer them leashed and under control tbh..

And all the different flavours, plain, peppermint, spearmint, catnip, the list is admittedly short, but so good...

Accurate take.

Its so weird how Magic Mike is literally a movie about male strippers, yet they still managed to sexualise women/treat women as somewhat of a joke (i.e. its 'funny' but not threatening to see middle-aged women losing it over male strippers), all the while still portraying the men as dominant and strong

Both understandable. What's the point of calling an obese person fat? They won't magically loose weight and it will probably just make them feel bad. Complimenting a person that has lost weight is a nice thing to do.

My gf found a lost phone once, which of course was locked, and we were sitting there wondering what to do with it when it rang and it was the owner's mother. So if you lose your phone, try phoning it, as some nice person may have found it and be trying to work out how best to return in.

That's what cats are for. (To the tune of "That's What Friends Are For".)

A terrible reality, but glad there are people who think about what they've learned and don't just have the "too bad, but doesn't affect me" take away

I think I saw this already... but the OP was a woman.

Haah. Same. :(

We were just happy somebody noticed us.

I've seen that before

I'm convinced it's a strategy of the hotels so they don't have to feed as many guests breakfast.

Ha ha ha ha ha!!!!!!!!!!! So true and so funny!!!!!!!

I live in Virginia. The sky is hazy because Oregon is on fire. Maybe we'll just stay in this weekend.

Especially if they involve world domination and general mayhem.

Sure it's good for you but it tastes like shite

It's okay. I'm pretty sure in most of those films, you fall for your secretary/coworker/boss anyway. You'll be okay.

I say that too

I don't think they ever threw him into battle anyway