Lol!!!

Perfect response to this nonsense!

Maybe it was a broom closet?

Err, what? Who sits in a car at the park?

I'd rather listen to Garbage than hymns

So every time you got a letter you thought it was the first one? Like 50 first dates?

It's true I'm the biceps I was there clapping

Ah yes. So much sex. So many. Like at least a hundred. Right. Much wow.

And then the heavens opened and spewed them with money, and oh, life is just so ditsy daisy!

Very bad photoshop

I wonder what the “smoke” in particular alludes to....

Nice lacing tho

And then I woke up....

Ah yes, because chickens that aren't slaughtered in your backyard, but come prepackaged to the store from somewhere else, are all grown on trees and plucked from the branches when ripe...

Yeah, we do that in Africa all the time.....NOT!

This one is pretty funny.

how could anyone believe this (and wtf is black wednesday)

What Targets have security guards?? Also What is Black Wednesday??

Im pretty obsessed with Pop Tarts too but I'm not going to punch someone out over the last box. Who does that?!! Nobody.

There is so much wrong. What is black Wednesday? And you met the security guard yesterday, and now you've been married for 13 years.

*Slowly golf claps* I couldn't make up a dumber story even if I tried

And the candy clapped?

I ran into my ex once (the guy who stalked & harassed me & my kids for a year). He is seriously mental - and he says to me "Wow, you've gained weight" and I said you're right, but I can go on a diet - can you grow hair?

it's funny but like why do you have to make this up.

You'd have to be really desperate to punch somebody for pop tarts, even though they are delicious.

I guess the ex beat me to the punch as I was just going to say 'This is bullshit!' But I meant the whole post.

What's Black Wednesday?

Who knew Target had security guards?

I'm not gonna lie, he or she had us in the first half

Pitiful

Best love story ever :D

pop tarts- black Wednesday, uh nuh. { ty capt. obvious )

I love black wednesday! 🤣

For somebody with a PhD and a Doctorate(allegedly), their writing doesn't reflect that. 9 year program for the required degrees to design and make medicines in theUS

This one made me LOL.

The scary part is some dudes are really so deranged, they'll mistake any kind of old look (even disgust) for lust. I had a dude follow me home from the subway one day asking for a date. I'd been staring at him on the subway because he was fat, ugly and looked like he hadn't showered in a week and he apparently mistook that for interest on my part!!

I beat couple of cops too and got away with that...in GTA5

At 5 years old, you were still learning how to spell your name.

Starbucks giving out free drinks? That's the dumbest part.

Thousands of doctors, medical officials, scientists, reputable organisations, and other experts, asking you to wear a mask is considered “fake news,” yet the claim of one "nurse" is suddenly considered a universal opinion? And speaking of which, we are here to deal with facts, not opinions.

"No, thank you" would have sufficed.

I ain't sucking up your story

Teenagers scare the living s**t out of me.

Did you tell him the nickname “Smartass” will never die either?

The police turned up. My son was arrested. He said "sorry I lied mom, I turned out like Dad".

And then a pianist shows up to play happy ending music while they walk into the sunset and also the sun is clapping.