Get Premium
Dark mode theme is available exclusively for premium users. Learn more about the benefits of subscribing.
No fees, cancel anytime.
Dark Mode 
No fees, cancel anytime 
then open in external browser
and click "Open in External Browser" 
40 Of The Best ‘Sarcastic Mommy’ Tweets That Help Parents Get Through The Day
Interview
Parenting is an enjoyably rewarding experience that’s sometimes neither that enjoyable nor really a reward. In reality, looking after one too many daredevils all day every day is akin to a wild rollercoaster ride where countless tasks and unexpected surprises are only the beginning of this one-of-a-kind journey we call parenthood. But even when kids are notorious for testing limits and leaving little to no fuel in their parents' tanks, we bet they wouldn't change a thing.
Instead, moms and dads keep their sanity intact by taking their drained and sleepless selves online to share about the twists and turns of this whole adventure. And the 'Sarcastic Mommy' social media project is a perfect example of that. By consistently sharing funny, snarky, and all too relatable tweets with thousands of coffee-fueled souls out there, Lisa Munn, the creator of the account, makes it a refreshing outlet for helping people realize they're definitely not alone in this demanding quest.
Since her four boys supply her with seemingly endless comedy material, we wrapped up some of the best stories into one humorous — and incredibly sarcastic — collection. So continue scrolling to check everything out, and don't miss the chat we had with Lisa about the project. Then be sure to upvote your favorites, and let us know all about your motherhood ups, downs, and funny in-betweens in the comments!
More info: sarcasticmommy.com | Twitter | Instagram | Facebook
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
cobalt-Larkspur-kitten-toes 3 years ago
LOVE THIS WOMAN'S BRAIN! My mommy brain needs to be more like hers :)
AJ Claymore 3 years ago
I would share this with my wife, but she'd probably change the password and not tell me what it is either.
RELATED:
#2
Salty Baritone 3 years ago
I’m calling b******t. This thought has never crossed my mind. I really think these anti-child threads say a lot about the entitlement in the generation that makes them.
DeoManus Argentem 3 years ago
Bingo! When I was a kid I couldn't understand why my parents wouldn't let me get a $50 video game on a random store visit - they get have jobs and get more money every couple of weeks! That's like, unlimited money, right?!
Load More Replies...
Kirsten Kerkhof 3 years ago
I have three younger brothers whom I love dearly. But when I wanted to take up horse riding as a child and was told my parents couldn't afford it because their had four kids, I literally told them that it wasn't me who chose to have three more kids after they'd had me. My mom agreed and I still couldn't take up horse riding.
Brian Garrett 3 years ago
Wouldn't trade me kids for any amount of money. Them being in my life makes me happier than any amount of money. And yes I'm as shocked as you I admitted it.
ADJ 3 years ago
Look at this: https://www.facebook.com/504145886659578/posts/jakie-to-prawdziwe-ptaszek-staszek/848879938852836/ Translation: Frame 1. "You kids are so cute, what I would do without you?!" Frame 8. "What would you do, daddy?" Frame 9. "Bollocks." - hard to translate, literally means "egg", figuratively "f**k off"
#3
Will Cable 3 years ago
That day was school P.E. day, love to have seen a note and the reaction from the teacher for him to be excused.
Headless Roach 3 years ago
My little offspring wished me once "happy birthday mum, will you have menopause now?"
Xenon 3 years ago
Because its derived from 'menstrual' cycle. Menses is what the blood and uterine tissue discharged during mensuration is called.
Load More Replies...
Phyzzi 3 years ago
It's a hormonal change in older women resulting in higher relative testosterone levels. It's often accompanied by hot flashes. And while I normally enjoy sharing new things, I do feel like this might be a good time to use a search engine or online dictionary.
Load More Replies...
"I put my symptoms into WebMD & it turns out I just have kids," writes Lisa as she welcomes her followers to an entertaining ride through her parenting experience. As the founder states on her website, everything began with a Twitter account in 2014 when she decided to document the funny and wild shenanigans her boys make her go through.
To her surprise, every tweet she shared deeply resonated with her followers. What started as an outlet to commiserate with fellow parents living through the same painfully hilarious surprises turned into a massive success that quickly spread beyond the Twitter-sphere.
Today, 'Sarcastic Mommy' has branched out to all the major social media channels and gained a strong foothold across the internet. For instance, it has amassed over 117k followers on Twitter and 414k devoted fans on Instagram. It has even gained astonishing popularity on Facebook, where a whopping 1.8 million people eagerly wait for new sarcastic gems to grace their feeds.
#4
Jennifer Norton 3 years ago
See this is why our kids each have their own cup and aren't allowed to use any other cup in the house. They either wash it or use it dirty. No exceptions! Works like a charm!!! I promise
Minda 3 years ago
That's what my mom did with us growing up. She did it with plates too. When I moved out she kept both... For when I visit. They're still in cabinets to this day.
Load More Replies... 
robin aldrich 3 years ago
Cute ...but not to be Debbie Downer... fathers and mothers:don't raise your sons to be useless human beings... I married one and it was no fun...
#5
Karen Armadillo 3 years ago
Mine was sharper than me. I did like it, if not everyday. Her daughter spoiled us, but now they both have daily arguments with my greatgrandson. At 7, he is a drama prince (in his own words!)
Kelsie Marx 3 years ago (edited)
I wish I would have thought of this before becoming a parent. But, he’s here and I love him more than anything in this world😍! But now if he does get in trouble, I will be thinking of these words🤪😂.
Jodie daubenmire 3 years ago
Some day they become bigger than you, and pat you on the head like your are a poodle when you yell at them.
Erin Mankiller 3 years ago
Sooo true! My mother tried to warn me....and so the cycle repeats itself lol
Diana Pahule 3 years ago
The answer is no. I already have other people's mini mes arguing with me over everything.
#6
We managed to get in touch with Lisa, who was more than happy to tell us all about her project, its community, and the beautifully chaotic reality of motherhood.
"The initial inspiration was for Twitter to be my escape," Lisa told Bored Panda. "I know a lot of my friends that I’ve met through social media use it for that purpose too. It was an outlet for me to kind of decompress, take all the family chaos and be able to turn it into tweets. It was therapeutic in a way, knowing I could tweet some things and no one knew who I was!"
Lisa admitted she still has trouble understanding how quickly the account has grown. "I definitely never pictured it getting this big either, it’s basically a job for me now, but I love it," she added.
#7
Buren 3 years ago
Ssst, some people still don't know that silent treatment is reward, not punishment
Snorkeldorf 3 years ago (edited)
Child looking for a shirt she wanted to wear. Found it in the dirty laundry basket. Had a meltdown and said "You're never washing my clothes again! I'll do it myself!!!!!" Fell off the couch laughing and said...."No, NO...please NOT that. Anything but THAT." She was not amused.
T M 3 years ago
I guess it is time to teach laundry skills. Nothing wrong with that.
Load More Replies...
Dawn Spotts 3 years ago
My mom once gave me the silent treatment. She kept it up for over 2 days. I found it rather peaceful! We were both adults, she was living in my house...
Dacă nu pierdeam, câștigam 3 years ago
My mom did thet too once, and I had to pretend to be upset about it
Load More Replies...
Nova Smith 3 years ago
POV: When you see one of the many horrible things your parental figure screams in your face every day, but written in a cutesy, jokey format 💀
Celtic Pirate Queen 3 years ago
My ex husband used to pull that sh*t (he'd pout like a little b*tch, too). I told him one time that him giving me the silent treatment was actually like a little gift for putting up with a man so stupid that he would argue math WITH A PROFESSIONAL BOOKKEEPER.
Shannon Kerns 3 years ago
When did kids get so picky and demanding? I threatened to string him up and beat him like a pinata. He threatened me by calling Gramma. I said she can get a few whacks in too
#8
Przemo 3 years ago
"Ok mom, thanks! Let's see, a bag of Doritos, some M&Ms, what else should I pack? Maybe a jar of Nutella and a teaspoon?"
Laura Gillette 3 years ago
That seems likely to backfire. Lunch will be nothing but cookies and soda.
JinxBox 3 years ago
What about offering a school lunch from tax money like we do in so many other countries? No one goes hungry at school because of poverty or issues at home like alcoholism, results in more equal learning skills.
Phyzzi 3 years ago
Awfully good for brainwashing kids into eating just the foods of the predominant culture in an area too, because goodness forbid we find a way to help kids eat AND give them a choice.
Load More Replies...
SilverSkyCloud 2 years ago
let me just say, this will not be a win for you, unless you're fine with kids stuffing all kinds of sweets, crisps and ice cream into their school bag lol
Erica Cochrane 3 years ago
my mum stopped making my lunch when i was about 6 because i kept complaining. i basically ate peanut butter sandwiches for the rest of my school days. but i was happy!
#9
Dirk Daring 3 years ago (edited)
If we were allowed one Superupvote per month, you'd have just won mine for October.
Load More Replies...
Thanatos Charles 3 years ago
I go away for 10min and come back and my dog will give me a welcome home parade of excitement.. The wife.. Well she never noticed I was out to begin y.
The Doom Song 3 years ago
20+ years? My pup is 17 months old and my SO says hi and gets cuddles from him first
Bryan With a Why 3 years ago
I'd start taking notes about what the dog is doing better than me...
Catherine Cunningham 3 years ago
I was living at our cabin. While my husband remodeled our house in town. I just get a new puppy. So I drive to the man house. 2 hours on a Friday night. Husband comes running out as soon as I pull up. I'm thinking how sweet. He misses me and will help with my bag@ Husband runs to the passenger door, grabs the new puppy. And is kissing and baby talking g his way back into the house. While I sit there wondering WTF? Married 37 years.
When asked about the community, Lisa noted it definitely feels like it mirrors her and her outlook on life. "I know a lot of my followers just want to laugh, they have things going on in their life where they just want to be able to escape for 3 seconds and know that they aren’t alone and use that same escape I used."
It's safe to say that people from far and wide find her project to be a great tool to unwind and gain some perspective on how to navigate countless obstacles of motherhood. And Lisa also mentioned that Twitter is the perfect platform for parenting and humor in general, as "it’s just a whole different world of social media."
"When you think of Instagram, you think of perfect lives and everyone going on vacation," Lisa added. For many women out there, this is alarmingly true. Parenting has a way to make mothers feel quite isolated, and it can urge them to start comparing themselves to others, especially when they’re at their most vulnerable.
#10
JinxBox 3 years ago
Ouch that is so lame and old-fashioned. My husband does shopping, cooking, laundry and stuff like he was born in Europe in modern times. And I don't feel lucky, just equal. Teaching independence was his parents job, you're job was choosing who you marry and you chose a man-child 🤦🏼♀️
John Edgar Werner Philips 3 years ago
On the flip side, if they're willing to learn (!) it's not fair to just nix someone because of something their parents failed to do.
Load More Replies...
Headless Roach 3 years ago
WIFE: "Get a bottle of milk, and if they have eggs - take 6" HUSBAND: *returns home with 6 bottles of milk*
Izzy Curer 3 years ago (edited)
I actually like it when my husband calls me from the store to double check things. He knows my main preferences, but sometimes they're out, and he just wants to make sure about the replacement. I do the same with him when I'm at the store. That's just normal communication. I don't see a reason to be petty about it.
Snorkeldorf 3 years ago (edited)
I love it. Every time I walk around a store I see numerous people on their phones saying things like "I got the broccoli, should I get some carrots too?" or "what kind of cereal again?". In all fairness, it's people of all ages and genders.
sturmwesen 3 years ago
I send my SO pictures if I want sth he does not know.
Load More Replies... Rebe 3 years ago
It might be 'lame' as someone said bur it is still true. And we can only choose from the men around. You can traiin a child you can traiin a dog even a cat. And even a readerr to understand sarcasm. At least I hope so.
Rebe 3 years ago
But apparently not this platform to understand line cuts or spaces.
Load More Replies...
Brindle Nutter 3 years ago
My husband has no problems navigating the grocery store The problem is he'll clean out the bakery dept and bring it home
#11
Scott 3 years ago
Asking the important questions here. Also, why not do both and have a comparative analysis done on the result?
Load More Replies...
Robert B 3 years ago
A waffle? Amateurs. We used to put baby powder on the blades and then turn it on and slam the door shut. It’s like a winter wonderland.
Dorey Bell 3 years ago
Maybe explain that there are people who are going hungry and would have liked to not have hunger pains. Next, have them wash walls & baseboards
#12
Show thyself 3 years ago
Partner(m) is 31, roomie(f) 1 is 36 -- it's empty milk packages into the fridge.
Seanette Blaylock 3 years ago
Or empty boxes of Drumsticks ice creams in the freezer (59m did this).
Load More Replies...
Tracy Wallick 3 years ago
Leave the empty box in there. When they grab the box and rediscover that it's empty and you won't replace it until the old one is thrown away, they'll learn
Thanatos Charles 3 years ago
Yup stop buying, mine learned very fast that the box won't get replaced if its still on the shelf
Load More Replies...
Monosyllabic girl 3 years ago (edited)
I'm never sure if i prefer the empty milk put back in fridge or him putting garbage 4 inches away from the garbage can... (Edit for spelling)
Jenny Sermeno 3 years ago
Husband 53, still eats cheese, cereal , icecream etc. And leaves empty packages for me to find. So yeah never. He needs to be smacked with a rolled up newspaper and tell him No No No!!!!
Terri Martin 3 years ago
Maybe the same age they stop putting egg cartons with empty eggshells back in the fridge....but it's not 26🙄
Alarmingly, moms already feel enormous pressure to be flawless, and meticulously curated pictures on social media that imply perfection don’t ease the burden. In fact, psychologist Ilyse Dobrow DiMarco, Ph.D., explained that mothers who engage in social media comparison feel more overwhelmed, more depressed, and less competent than those who don’t.
Perhaps that’s why Lisa has learned to embrace that things aren’t perfect. "I mean, I was pretty shameless with my tweets knowing that I was anonymous for a while. But people love that because a lot of parents go through identical situations without realizing it."
This is what keeps her passionate about sharing sarcastic and all-too-relatable insights online, and thankfully, she doesn’t intend to hold back. "We have this community now that’s unfiltered and just real, there’s no BS when it comes to the content," Lisa explained.
#13
Jennifer Biness 2 years ago
If he's old enough to decide when to wake up, he's old enough to set his own alarm and be responsible about getting up and ready
#14
SilverSkyCloud 2 years ago
if its america it'll probably be the hospital, cant get more expensive than that lol
#15
Judes 3 years ago
My daughter did this two days ago. It was a project involving measuring evaporation from two different pots and meant to be done over a week. My husband had the bright idea of putting the pots on the stove top to speed the process along a little.
Load More Replies...
Sue Denham 3 years ago
Oh yeah, and we're having a shared lunch tomorrow - teacher says no bought stuff; it has to be homemade.
Phyzzi 3 years ago
Usually the opposite here, which is also a PITA, especially when everyone is already out of their day clothes for bed. At least if it had to be home cooked I could probably scrounge something up from the bottom of the freezer.
Load More Replies... Snorkeldorf 3 years ago (edited)
Oh yes. Child at 5:00 p.m. - "i have to have XYZ book tomorrow. The project is 50% of our grade and we have to prove we have the book. They're all checked out at the library." Go to, or call, 3 different stores with no luck. Order online with next day, morning delivery. Work from home so when book arrives I can drive it up to the school. At the end of the project, kid got an A though. Took the cost out of her allowance until it was paid for.
Diana Pahule 3 years ago
There is not next day delivery where we live. That kid would have to suck it.
Load More Replies... Nat of Clan P 3 years ago
My 11 year old son does things like this. Forgot to read his book over the summer holidays then tells me he has til the end of the week to finish it (I believe it was a Tuesday when he told me this). It's a Roald Dahl book. Then, I find said book on the stairs (where else would it be?) and he says "I have to finish it on Friday" (it was Wednesday this time). Honestly. There's no hope.
CurlyCucumber 3 years ago
I need that ruler with the thingies tomorrow at 7. Also, a blank pages notebook.
Lynn Morello 3 years ago
I often used to have a stack of books for their classes, just in case. I always made sure I got a list of Reading material they would need and other study books.
Apart from social media, the 'Sarcastic Mommy' website also offers resources for parents of various backgrounds and upbringings about the art of raising children. Lisa invites content contributors and writers to share their perspective and their own unique experiences that she might not have been through. "It’s grown so quickly but the image and the mission haven’t changed. That’s what matters most to me," she added.
#16
Trillian 3 years ago
So he is busy and the (obviously useless) something is not taking up space anymore. Win-win.
Load More Replies... Snorkeldorf 3 years ago (edited)
Maybe if you clean out the garage, you'll find it.
Load More Replies...
Della 3 years ago
Nah. Let him look and practice keeping a straight face while saying " I don't know what could have happened to it".
Nathan Schinigoi 3 years ago
Wouldn't it be funny if he threw out a knick knack that she bought to decorate the house and then lied about it. Oh it's SO funny to throw a loved ones objects in the trash. What a loving relationship.
Load More Replies... #17
Brian Garrett 3 years ago
Man I so love when people assume everything about people based on one thing. Maybe he does all the cleaning and laundry. Also it's called a joke. Settle down.
Load More Replies...
#18
Kelsie Marx 3 years ago
I only have 1 child, but I swear that between the two, I feel like I have 8🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️!
It’s undeniable that parenthood is a life-altering experience, and knowing how to handle all the trials and tribulations can be a daunting task. But Lisa firmly believes that sharing experiences online, both good and bad, gives comfort to parents by letting them know they’re not alone.
"That’s why I love my community," Lisa told Bored Panda. "You could say the most ridiculous thing your kid has said/done and at least a handful of parents have gone through the same thing."
She continued: "I know a lot of parents come across posts and just have a deep sigh of relief, like 'Ok so it’s not just me. I thought I was crazy', and then they can just laugh about it. It can be easy to panic as a parent, but in reality, they’re actually doing amazing. Parenting will never be an art of perfection. Stop trying to be perfect!"
#19
Kelsie Marx 3 years ago (edited)
My son is 6 and when I ask him to pick up his toys he says the same thing. I swear I have a teenager inside a 6 year old body. I’m so not looking forward on the day he does become a teenager 🤦🏻♀️.
Dorey Bell 3 years ago
His response is the reason you give him more to do. That will shut down his attitude 😉
Janet Weston 3 years ago
My hubby aged 57 said that about lifting 2 plates out for lunch I’d prepared, cooked and was serving . He was serious
TheElderNom 3 years ago
My little sister at ten years old when she had to take out one bag of trash: "Why am I the only one doing everything around here?"
#20
James016 3 years ago
It's not. When things go quiet upstairs is when you need to make that trip
any rei 3 years ago
Exactly, noise is always a good sign. Silence means they're doing something they aren't suppose to and know it
Load More Replies... Kirsten Kerkhof 3 years ago
Silence is golden. Unless you have kids, then it isvery very suspicious.
that.bitch.mae 3 years ago
Silence when you have kids is golden if they're the very rare unproblematic breed
Load More Replies...
Cassidy Moore 3 years ago
My boys (age 2 and 3) will be upstairs playing and one of them will start to cry, naturally. When they realize im not coming the crying stops, the one who was crying comes all the way down stairs and only when they see me do they continue to cry.
Nicoll Cope 3 years ago
Or If you have more than one kid, if you hear lots of "shhhhhh be quiet!" That phrase was guaranteed to make me go see what was going on lol.
Load More Replies... #21
Buren 3 years ago
Nah. I have built an impenetrable fence since I was a kid myself. I don't even like me when I was a kid.
Chris Hooley 3 years ago
Yes! I never liked children (as a child,) because they were irrational and senseless.
Load More Replies...
Pizzagirl 91 3 years ago
I have small sand clocks in my stepdaughter's room and the bathroom. She's 6, and having the sand visibly run out when she has to get dressed helps. Children don't have the sense of time we do, they can use reminders. I also put on a 5min-countdown on my phone if she has 5 more minutes to play etc. - that reduces the potential for arguments, because she did agree to the time frame, and the time itself is not in my hands. Maybe it helps someone.
CurlyCucumber 3 years ago
I am just putting my kids shoes on while she is slapping me with the beanie she took down from her head while running already late for Kindergarden. Being a parent is easy.
Snorkeldorf 3 years ago
And....around the 10th time of them saying "OK ", they finally burst out with "I AM!" as they continue to sit on the floor playing a video game and not moving.
ohjojo (you/your's) 3 years ago (edited)
Get the kid, bring the shoes. Let walking barefoot be the lesson. Bring bandaids
Trinity Cottrell 3 years ago
I had a lazy sister who relied on me to get my nephews ready for school and lots of other things. I only had to say it twice, the first time was said nicely, the second was in my "don't bloody mess with me or I'll throw your toys and electronic in a wood chipper" scary voice. Sadly, I always had to resort to my scary voice. Ah, but now I've disowned my sister, life is bliss now.
Terri Martin 3 years ago
Or simply remember that one time your bff embarrassed you so badly in public you hid from the public eye for a month. Then imagine it happening on just about every outing for the next several years 😜
To all the overwhelmed, sleep-deprived, and utterly exhausted parents searching for a glimmer of hope, Lisa was happy to share some advice. "Never be afraid to ask for help, and always try your best to set time aside for yourself (even if it’s a 30-second bathroom break)!"
"Parenting will put you through emotions you’ve never felt before, you’re going to have moments of guilt, moments where you think that you’re unfit as a parent. You’re gonna be driven crazy, you’re going to question your sanity."
But in the end, Lisa said, that’s perfectly normal. "The second you can embrace that it’s not easy and that you’ll never be perfect, it will get so much more enjoyable. That’s life. Embrace the chaos and know that you’re not alone."
#22
Printerman 2 years ago
That combined with those ear protectors the road-crews use while running the jack-hammer. They should help a bit when combined.
Load More Replies...
Charlotte Richards 3 years ago
As someone with noise sensitivity issues, I feel sorry for your husband. When someone asks for silence, just be quiet.
#23
bob van wijk 3 years ago
My mom would always sing: We're almost there. We're almost there. But not totally. On and on. And we'd join in and sang this fabulous song. Poor dad.
Load More Replies... 
#24
Verified Loser 3 years ago
This lmao.. I shop for seven people, including two YA bottomless pit stomach-having boys.... I'm ordering grocery shopping night.
Verified Loser 3 years ago
Always get absolutely pissed about it the next day though 😆
Load More Replies... mrsmir 3 years ago
Why would you always put Asian food over your pizza? Weird. 😉
Load More Replies...
#25
Morgan Units 3 years ago
When you tell us to do a chore we were contemplating doing on our own, the motivation flies right out the window.
Northlander72 3 years ago (edited)
I once washed the floor of the living rooms of my parents' house when I was somewhere in the 10-15 age range (this was 35 years ago or longer, so you'll have to forgive me if I don't remember the exact date) simply because I wanted to do something nice for my mom. When she came back and noticed, I was basically met with a wall of sarcasm. Needless to say, I never made that mistake again.
#26
Paula Pattison 3 years ago
Wait til they leave for college and you realise all your crockery doesn't fit in your cupboards
Headless Roach 3 years ago
Nah, they will take some of the clean ones along
Load More Replies...
Connie Bonneville 3 years ago
My kids come to the kitchen and say there are no bowls, cups, etc. I ask them if they have looked in their room.
Deb Fullwood 3 years ago
OMG! I have been driven to clinically insane looking for the missing spoon and bowl. I have been through the whole house, and a room shift) and still no spoon. He never leaves the house (internet school), no how in the absolute HELL can he lose a spoon? I told the kid moving out she can take my silverware and I am buying new since I have an uneven number. (yes, I am OCDish, and count my silverware and dishes when I put them away. But I only have a set of 4 -for three people)
Panda Bear 3 years ago
I get that cutlery and crockery disappear, but what I can't fathom is why odd knives, forks, and spoons materialize in the drawer. Where do they come from? Do teenagers have some system where they share stuff around? Nah - that would require being organized.
Sheri Muntean 3 years ago
Lol. How many times did I have to replace the silverware when my kids were teens because they accidentally ended up in the garbage? Don't ask...
#27
#28
Nadine Debard 3 years ago
And decide what to cook every single day. And plan all the meals. And do groceries.
Dog Mom 3 years ago
And all the cleaning up. Not just from dinner, everything all the time.
Load More Replies...
Key Lime 3 years ago
This only worked with one of my children, but get them involved, teach them to cook and take turns. One of my children lived to eat and loved this. The other child ate to live and would rather starve. I didn't want Child Services involved so I cooked for him way longer than I should have, he did eventually start making food for himself.
Mosheh Wolf 3 years ago
I am the dad, and I'm the one who makes dinner. That means that I got to enjoy this conversation: "What you you want for dinner?", "I don't care", "why did you make that? I didn't want that!" in stereo from both wife and child.
Rita Rose 3 years ago
By 'everyone' do you mean your kids? Or your kids and your partner? If it's the first one then that's OK, you are their mom and non of your kids had a choice to be brought into the world or not, so expecting them to do things for you (other than showing you love) is a little selfish. If it's the second one and your partner/otherhalf feels you should be making dinner too then think you need to tell them that times have changed and it needs to be a joint effort from now on
Sue Denham 3 years ago
And when visitors (some of them proud "feminists") judge you (the mum) if your house is untidy.
Pizzagirl 91 3 years ago
Oh, I've actually had a friend pet my soul, so to speak, when she was recently visiting. She told me she couldn't believe how I was able to get our flat so tidy and clean with twins and a full-time job, and it felt like someone had handed me a Nobel prize! I did honestly tell her that it WASN'T easy, and that I knew that if I didn't keep a certain base level of cleanliness every day, I couldn't get it to visitor ready so quickly. I feel like being honest about what it TAKES to fulfill the expectations of people around us and of ourselves is of paramount importance!
Load More Replies... SilverSkyCloud 2 years ago
at least you'll always get to eat what you want, if they dont like it then they can cook instead lol
Danish Susanne 3 years ago
My mom felt like that too. When my stepfather came home and asked what is for dinner, she answered: It is in the fridge, so he asked what do you do with it, and she answered, look in the cook book. He had never cooked a meal in his life then, but became really interested and made delicious food later.
Lynn Morello 3 years ago
After 50 years - ish of cooking, I don't know any more If I even want to cook, let alone WHAT I am going to cook. It is so nice to come home from work and find that the cooking is just about done.
#29
Dawn Frutchey 3 years ago
I remind my husband all the time that if something happens to me, my mom will shoot first and ask questions after
Sheri Muntean 3 years ago
You should be ok as long as he doesn't take cinder blocks along on your scenic cruise of the bay, lol
#30
Argle Bargle 3 years ago
I'm not sure why somebody is downvoting your comments, but here, take my upvote for having an opinion
Load More Replies... Brindle Nutter 3 years ago
When my daughter hit 7th grade, I tapped out and got her a tutor. Best decision of my life
that.bitch.mae 3 years ago
That's what partners and older children are for
Load More Replies... #31
Rob Eman 3 years ago
Hmmm I'm afraid to ask about your best liability, but either way I think your are getting the two words confused.
Load More Replies...
Vera Hilman 3 years ago
Since in my country most of us celebrating eid instead of christmas, I always finishing all of the cooking 2 days before eid and put them on the freezer. Then a day before eid, my family will spent it will cleaning the house. So it will be still clean for the eid day.
#32
Albino 3 years ago
That you don't fix. You put in a pole firehouse style and are done.
Load More Replies... Cuppa tea? 3 years ago
DIY projects and cooking recipes on YouTube have one thing in common - in reality it tooks twice as long, cost twice as much and you end up using twice as much of everything listed.
Nat of Clan P 3 years ago
My husband does this and it usually works out really well. It can take more than a year and in some cases, projects have been left half done. I've got used to it though and don't notice anymore. Lol.
Upstaged75 3 years ago
There's a whole show on HGTV about that. It's called Help, I Wrecked My House! There's a woman (Jasmine Roth) who comes and fixes the problems that homeowners caused by trying to do their own renovations. Unless you're an expert messing with electricity, plumbing, or the structure of your home is incredibly stupid. Some of the things people have done to their house are incredibly bad. One of them caused a fire from trying to redo the electric.
Shannon Hawks 3 years ago
Actually you tube is the greatest learning tool I've ever used. Hats off to all you social maniacs.
Lynn Morello 3 years ago
My husband started Whole House Renovations 12 tears ago, Most of them are part done and the ones that were done need re-painting, The ones that are incomplete, we are still arguing about. because I want to get someone in to finish them off and he wants to do the job himself. I am still waiting.
#33
Headless Roach 3 years ago
H, in front of a fridge: "We're out of milk" W, on the sofa: "No, we're not" H: "We are" W: "No, we're not" H: "..." W: "Want me to show you?" H: "No, I found it"
Trillian 3 years ago
"Oh but why did you put it THERE" (there being 10 cm away from the usual place)
Load More Replies...
The Deez 3 years ago
When my kids were younger and would say they couldn't find something in their rooms that I KNEW was in there, I'd tell them that if I came in there and found it, they would owe me $5. Oftentimes, that magically helped them find whatever it was they were looking for! HOWEVER, there was one time that I WAS wrong and the thing my daughter was looking for was NOT in her room. That time I paid her $5 because it only seemed fair.
Sara Harvilla 3 years ago
On the flip side, it's very easy to hide food from your husband and male children. Just put it in the back.
3 Owls In A Coat 3 years ago
My boyfriend “looks for things” by standing in the middle of the room and slowly gazing around, then declaring the thing to be lost. I often have to march over and move a pillow or piece of paper and voilà, there it is. So I definitely have hidden surprise snacks and presents before by putting them in the back of the cupboard hehehe
Load More Replies... that.bitch.mae 3 years ago
I imagine a good way to solve this would be to respond with, "Oh then you can go buy some more," (and maybe mention that there are other things to buy) and be surprised when they suddenly find it.
ohjojo (you/your's) 3 years ago (edited)
Five bucks to find it for you. Or just agree until they find it.
Dawn Frutchey 3 years ago
Me to husband/children- 'You may actually have to look. It's not going to jump out and say hi!'
Bittersweetie 3 years ago
Yes my superpower is bestowing vision to those who can't find things. I only have to stop whatever I'm doing and go to them and it is found!
Kelsie Marx 3 years ago
My husband does the same thing! And there will be times where it’s right in front of his face and he will still look past it. Dummy!😂😂
#34
that.bitch.mae 3 years ago
And somehow only the kitchen towel package includes a 5x7 and/or wallets
jay weekes 3 years ago
Just heard on the radio yesterday where a smart lady just pays for the cheapest package then goes to Walmart to make all kinds of copies for cheap !! 🤯
A. Starhawk Hunt 3 years ago
Dunno. Use it to wipe up spills; then it will look more like him.
ADHD McChick 3 years ago
I don't bother with school pictures. Haven't since my son was in grammar school, or maybe even preschool. They're just way too crazy expensive. I have plenty of candids of him, on my phones, and so does my family. And with phone cameras being so good now, I can take dressier ones if I want, print them out myself, and no one would even know the difference from professional. Plus, with everything being digital now, there's just not as much point in paying for paper school pics. And my son doesn't care either way. So ordering school pics is just kind of a waste of money, to me.
Pizzagirl 91 3 years ago
I had that problem with my twins recently: If I'd taken just the cheap package, I'd have had only the photos of ONE of them. I also couldn't get the sibling-photos of BOTH of them in one picture without the sibling package - which has stuff like key rings that we really don't need. A single good-quality download without watermark would have been 10€, so to get at least one of each child, and the sibling-photo, and the group photo, I'd be at almost the same price as if I'd get a package, AND I'd have to pay to have them printed, anyway... So we went with the sibling-package, because it's their very first photo shoot and the pictures are really pretty.
TheElderNom 3 years ago
My mom just gave me all my old school photos, what am I'm supposed to do with them? I tried giving the stickers to my niece and nephew since they love stickers but my sister vetoed it since she didn't want my face all over their house. Rude.
#35
Jeanie F-L 3 years ago
Then redress 5 minutes later since they immediately had to pee once you finished the first time lol
Load More Replies...
keighterz 3 years ago
My husband is the opposite. He says he’s almost home and then won’t be home for another 45 minutes. “Almost home” means like five minutes away tops. Takes his sweet time running errands and such. Drives me insane.
Pizzagirl 91 3 years ago
It's like my husband before a trip: if he "only" has to pee and get dressed, I know I have another half hour for everything else...
Load More Replies...
Julian Buss 3 years ago
I used to work in retail at a large homewares store (UK) and had a boss who thought this way. He'd gives us ridiculous jobs during store opening hours and still expect the job done after 5 minutes.
Evelyn Haskins 3 years ago
Ah! But my DH gets ready in a twinkling!! like Half an hour, so because he nags me so we wont be late, I hang around for 25 minutes. Never mind the kids, They were easy!! The only problem was keeping them neat and tidy while DH had a shower and a shave and decided he needed to polish his shoes, and where are the car keys . . . . And THEN he tells whoever we are visiting that we were late because he had to wait for me :-(
Danish Susanne 3 years ago
Let him do it then. I mean if it only takes him 5 minutes he must have time for it.
Celtic Pirate Queen 3 years ago
What took you so long, the store's only 5 minutes away? It takes 5 minutes to get to the end of our street (3 stoplights).
#36
CultOfBambi 3 years ago
I'm really happy with my dull, quiet, clean house. If I need entertainment, I fire up the xbox or annoy my cats. I'm sure one day the kitties will eat my decaying corpse after I trip down the stairs and break my neck, only to be found when relatives decide to do a welfare check - but today is not that day! :D
Load More Replies... Kelsie Marx 3 years ago
My son is a mini version of me when I was a kid. A human tornado! My mom told me that when I was growing up that she hopes someday that I’ll have a kid that’s just like me. Surprisingly enough, her wish came true. DAMN IT🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️😂😂!!
April Pickett 3 years ago
Nah. You wouldn't feel any pressure to keep it sparkling clean if it was just you.
#37
Trinity Cottrell 3 years ago (edited)
Not my Mum's food, though. Laziness isn't worth the food poisoning.
Garry Cowan 3 years ago
One of the best things about living with a partner is surprise food if you live alone you will definitely know what's in the fridge or cupboards
#38
Cassidy Moore 3 years ago
Bruh, trying to do this with Greys Anatomy and One Piece at the same time 🥺
Headless Roach 3 years ago
I mean, if you've taken on "Young and Restless", then it sounds about right
Lynn Morello 3 years ago
Set the DVD's on the shelf near the TV, Set up the ironing board and watch the movies in Chronological order as you iron.
Vera Hilman 3 years ago
I had a teen daughter. Instead of watching 90 minutes movie and being interrupted by my todler son for about 20 times, I asked her to tell me the story of the movie. It saves me a lot, also add another bonding times between mom and teen daughter. She will followed me around and helped me, also patiently explained again if I forget her explanation. I love watching how her eyes sparkled when she told the story.
#39
Seán Hannan 3 years ago
I wear headphones all the time. This leads to my my wife getting angry because she has to say everything twice because I don't hear her the first time... then I get angry because she knew I was wearing headphones and should have got my attention to be sure I was listening before she said whatever... and so on.
Pizzagirl 91 3 years ago
Yes, so does my husband, with similar problems. We've reached a deal where, if he has to be "on call" because of the children or because we expect a delivery, he puts the headphones on halfway - he's having fun, he'd hear if the house burned down, all is well.
Load More Replies...
Raven Greer 3 years ago
I hate that more then anything in the world. Was I the only child that was told I was only allowed to play games on handhelds muted? That I was never to turn the TV up? That only people have a right to f*****g silence? I was in a public restroom and some c**t started watching a movie with full volume on the toilet. One day someone is just gonna start beating your a*s and that is why.
Jaimie Wilson 3 years ago
Omg THIS!!!! Literally texted him from the bedroom while he was on couch to pls turn it down!!! Yes... we're still married 🤣🤣🤣
#40
Brendan 3 years ago
If you had kids, being without a computer wouldn't stop them. Snail mail, fax, carrier pigeons - whatever it takes to let you know that they will be closing the side gate tomorrow.
Load More Replies... 
Wondering Alice 3 years ago
But if the school does anything at all with out mailing parents all the phones jam, there is an angry line of parents in reception and every member of staff gets a ton of mail even if has nothing to do with them as parents email every name they can remember. Because apparently even small changes which do not affect the parents result in children calling home saying they are anxious and confused. I'm hoping it's just a post lock down thing.
#41
Isabel Care 2 years ago
I meet mums stealth shopping in their jammies at 2am, so the husband doesn't complain about watching the kids.
#43
Argle Bargle 3 years ago
And just when you think you understand that stage, you're on to the next one
Lynn Morello 3 years ago
And don't think they get over it when they move out, I still get phone calls. Mon, can I?
#44
#45
#46
Kelsie Marx 3 years ago
If this was my child, I would excuse them from school and make them do chores like they did in the historic times, and ask them when they are all done, if it was worth informing me at 11:00 last night that they needed to dress up in a historical era.
Nicole Weymann 3 years ago
"Historical" is a very flexible term. With a bit of creativity Jimi Hendrix, Madonna, Mao, or Marlene Dietrich are absolutely achievable. With less creativity: Suit him/her/it up and let them pick a politician/male movie star/head of company of choice from somewhere within 80 years (male because less fashion oriented, therefore easier - yes, the lazy choice, due to timing)
#47
Argle Bargle 3 years ago
I didn't think our first lesson would involve instructions on how not to run over a bird standing in the road, and then to stop and check if the bird was ok after we did go over the top. I also didn't expect the response, 'Oh well. It shouldn't have been there anyway.' But here we are. Smh
Lynn Morello 3 years ago
I have 6 kids, 2 girls and 4 boys, I taught them all to drive, I made sure they could reverse park and reverse with a trailer on the back. Every one passed their Driving Test first go. Every one of them said NO THANKYOU to Dad teaching them to drive.
#48
Pumpkin Spice 3 years ago
Hey, the parents are irritated when I talk and irritated when I'm too tired to talk. Where does it end?
Load More Replies... #49
DuchessDegu 3 years ago
That's my partner because he doesn't want to wear "outside clothes" (i.e. a bloody jumper) inside! Be cold then, not going to spend money to heat a whole house just because you don't want to dress accordingly to the seasons. He's 56 btw.
#51
#52
Argle Bargle 3 years ago
Anyone else sitting in the car waiting for their kid at sports right now? You're my peoples.
#53
Headless Roach 3 years ago
Nah, it starts when you can tell your son to make his sandwich himself
ADHD McChick 3 years ago
My brother-in-law once said it starts when your kid finally learns to wipe his own àss. 😂
Load More Replies... Lynn Morello 3 years ago
Nope. It starts when they have their own can and a good job and they say they are moving out.
Fred Strauss 3 years ago
When does life begin? At conception? No. At birth? Nah. When the youngest daughter marries and the dog dies.
#54
#55
#56
Lene 3 years ago
Argh! The amount of times I tell my kids to go ask dad because he is in the room where whatever they want is. I fear he thinks I send them his way all the time because I want 5min breaks from the kids. 😬
GPZ 3 years ago
Well, it's not like we mind those few additional moments of peace
Load More Replies... Kelsie Marx 3 years ago
And some men say they have have it the hardest job at being a parent🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️
#57
Nicole Weymann 3 years ago
When my toddler cousins (twins) proudly assured their grandmother they had put everything away the day ended with three kids in the bathtub, two of them cleaning (or attempting to) no. 3 from the shoe polish they had decorated him with.
#58
#59
Kelsie Marx 3 years ago
If a school portrait packet is that expensive, then take the damn pictures yourself and with the money you were going to spend on the package, take the family out to dinner😁👍!
Lanswyfte 3 years ago (edited)
I don't even bother with portraits anymore. We don't put them up on the wall--- we prefer photos of the outdoors or group photos taken at memorable events, so why bother with individual shots? We constantly take photos of each other on our phones. Save your money!
Load More Replies... #60
Lynn Morello 3 years ago
I finished the washing and ironing yesterday, today I only have 4 loads to do.
Argle Bargle 3 years ago
I have shares in glen20, and spend my weekends as an unpaid Uber driver for a 1-star customer
#61
Argle Bargle 3 years ago
In our house use, 'You don't have to brush your teeth. Only the ones you want to keep.'
A_scalene_triangle (she/they) 3 years ago
As the teenager of the house it's who plays water polo "did you put on sunscreen?" Because 95% of the time I have 4% of the time I am about to but now I don't want to because you told me to and 1% of the time I have forgotten
#62
keighterz 3 years ago
I don’t know if you’re quoting something or what but as someone who spent a year in a temp job with the sole responsibility of putting data into spreadsheets: yes, yes I do love it when a spreadsheet comes together lol
Load More Replies...
#63
Jeanie F-L 3 years ago
Dude no joke... my kids now say GD it everytime something doesn't go their way lol. Yep, I'm fired.
Load More Replies... #64
3 Owls In A Coat 3 years ago
Lol a crappy ex of mine once did something crappy to me when we were dating, and told me he was so sorry and he’d take me out to dinner somewhere nice to make up for it. I got home from work, excited for our dinner date and he said he was actually pretty tired, can we maybe just go to Wendy’s a couple blocks away instead? Then we started walking to Wendy’s and he was even more whiny and tired so we just went to the 7-11 at the end of the street and got 7-11 taquitos 🙃 (which are delicious btw but I wanted steak and an apology)
#65
Lynn Morello 3 years ago
I have to make my own arrangements for Mothers day, Birthday, Christmas.
#66
Argle Bargle 3 years ago
Know anyone with a hubby who suddenly took up long-distance triathlon when they had a baby?
keighterz 3 years ago
His cigarette breaks suddenly increased in both quantity and length.
Load More Replies...
#67
3 Owls In A Coat 3 years ago
I actually remember feeling like this as an angst hormonal teenager 😂 got to the point where I would wake up 5 mins early out of spite so my mother couldn’t wake me up with her usual cheerful “good morning, time to wake up!” Idk wtf my issue was hahaha
Kelsie Marx 3 years ago (edited)
Every morning, if my bedroom door is cracked open a bit, my son will turn the nub on the door n*b so the door is locked. He then will close the door. It’s his way of thinking that he is locking mommy inside her room😂😂
#68
Deborah B 3 years ago
My younger siblings learnt as teens that subtly bending the cutlery drove mum wild. She was outnumbered and fighting a losing battle, so she bought a new set of cutlery, called it the "Good set" and kept it hidden pristine in the box. Offspring were forbidden from touching it. She no longer cared what they did with the ordinary set. "All the forks are wavy? Well, you bent them, you can straighten them. You can't find a teaspoon? There are twelve, go hunt for one and wash it." When the last offspring left home, they were gifted with the bent set, and the good set replaced them.
#70
Audra Sisler 3 years ago
I have 2 fans. Ceiling fan and box fan. I've used a box fan since I was a kid (34 now) and I CAN'T sleep without the noise!
Jeanie F-L 3 years ago
Lol my husband and I are the opposite. I turn the fan all the way up before going to bed and wake up to it on the nearest to off possible without actually being off.
Argle Bargle 3 years ago
Windows up with heating full blast in the car for one kid, the other likes the windows down and the sleet to come in the window. We walk now instead
Add New Image
Explore more of these tags
What do you think ?
hhh cubed 3 years ago
Right!? Clearly some other people have no sense of humor whatsoever. They must be just delightful to live with.
Load More Replies...
Nova Smith 3 years ago
Guys, there's something you need to understand. What looks like a cute joke on social media could really be from a bullying tactic used at home. Talking from personal experience. "Oh, you missed a spot? I'm gonna make all sorts of mean jokes at you and post them on social media!! After all, all you do is make my life a living hell anyway uwu."
Janelle Collard 3 years ago
The Number 1 reason I never had kids was my parents constantly told me: "Wait until you have kids of your own and they do THIS to you." Best. Birth. Control. EVER.
hhh cubed 3 years ago
Right!? Clearly some other people have no sense of humor whatsoever. They must be just delightful to live with.
Load More Replies... Nova Smith 3 years ago
Guys, there's something you need to understand. What looks like a cute joke on social media could really be from a bullying tactic used at home. Talking from personal experience. "Oh, you missed a spot? I'm gonna make all sorts of mean jokes at you and post them on social media!! After all, all you do is make my life a living hell anyway uwu."
Janelle Collard 3 years ago
The Number 1 reason I never had kids was my parents constantly told me: "Wait until you have kids of your own and they do THIS to you." Best. Birth. Control. EVER.
You May Like 50 Of The Funniest Signs Ever Spotted In The Wild (New Pics) 50 Mom Memes That Are So Real It Almost Hurts It’s A Mystery What The Parents Were Thinking When Giving Their Kids These 42 Bizarre Names
Mantas Kačerauskas
Mindaugas Balčiauskas
Rugilė Žemaitytė
Related on Bored Panda
