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It’s the end of yet another month and you perfectly know what that means — it’s time for some of the wittiest things moms and dads have posted on Twitter. You know, once they could take a break from chasing kids all around the house, witnessing their absurd shenanigans, and nodding through their extremely innovative and well-calculated business ideas.

Well, if there’s one thing we know about parenthood — it’s one hell of a ride. Raising a human being from scratch comes with a fair amount of chaos and plenty of amusing stories to share.

So get ready, because we’re about to take a deep dive into the joys and struggles of bringing up a child. We wrapped up some of the funniest tweets to help you find comfort and let out some genuine laughs, so continue scrolling and upvote your favorites as you go! And if you’re still hungry for more, check out our older posts: February, January, December.

#2

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Bexx 🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Leave her a 1 star review on Yelp! (Guys it’s a joke no one is actually freaking out at this 5 year old)

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Mad Dragon
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My 6-year-old once told her father, "Daddy, I can make you handsome. It's going to take a wig and A LOT of pretending."

GoddessOdd
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Kids can be so direct that it's almost cruel! My neighbor's 4 y/o asked another elderly neighbor "why aren't you dead yet?"

Verena Abt
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The same happened to me at a beauticians. She said to me: "You're surely not telling me you're happy with THAT face?!"

Loraine MacGinness
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

No, no, no, there is no way she should have even been able to say this to you. !!

Marian Moore
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This Bit#h needs an attitude adjustment. She needs to get over herself. I would have gone directly to the boss and demanded my money back. I would make sure that I would spread the word that I would (adding the woman's name) never come back. The boss would be told this woman is losing you money.

Verena Abt
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The same happened to me at a beauticians. She said to me: "You're surely not telling me you're happy with THAT face?"

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Reading through these entertaining posts, it’s easy to say that kids can get creative with making their parents’ lives both challenging and exciting. So it’s perfectly normal that these little balls of sunshine add plenty of hilarious situations into their daily routine.

“Parenting is such a vast and complicated experience with so many highs and lows, many of which are just farcical when you view them objectively, so there is a lot of scope for humor if you can see the funny side,” Jo Middleton, creator of the parenting and lifestyle blog Slummy Single Mummy and author of Playgroups and Prosecco, told Bored Panda.

“Of course, that’s not always easy at the time — imagine you’ve just made dinner and your baby throws up all over it — that might be something that you can only laugh about the next day!”

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Needless to say, each child is unique, and they often show it by coming up with equally brilliant and humorous ideas all the time. “Children are so wonderfully unselfconscious, they’re happy to just get crazy, use their imaginations and enjoy themselves without fear of judgment. We lose a lot of this as we get older, but kids have that ability to just see the fun in things and let loose,” Jo said.

“My daughter is 19 now and she still absolutely loves playing tricks on me, often quite physical pranks. A few weeks ago, I was getting ready for bed for example, and didn’t realize she had hidden under my bed until she reached out and grabbed my ankle! I absolutely shrieked but she thought it was hilarious. I love that she’s still this playful even though she’s older now.”

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#7

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Luther von Wolfen
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2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Mine said "Do you know Bikini Kill?" and I was like "This is my beloved child, with whom I am well pleased."

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While moms and dads are constantly trying to do their best with parenting, sometimes their absurd shenanigans catch them off guard. According to Jo, it’s important for your children not to think you’re laughing at them. “Although they’re normally far less self-conscious than adults, children can be hugely sensitive, and if they think you think they’re being stupid or that they’ve done something wrong, you could very easily cause them to withdraw and become more cautious about having fun.”

So when kids do take you by surprise, you just have to go with it, as with most aspects of parenting. “Always encourage fun and playfulness and enjoy the moments when they come. Don’t get caught up trying to take photos or videos, just enjoy it,” Jo suggested.

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#11

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mommajessiec Report

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Brendan Roberts
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Prior to having kids, I swore that I'd never feed them junk food, that I wouldn't let them sleep in my bed, and that I'd keep TV time to an absolute minimum. Oh, how naive!

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Jen Walshaw, founder of the blog Mum In The Madhouse, told Bored Panda parenting is the hardest but most rewarding thing she has ever done. “There is no manual and every child is different, and things that work for one doesn’t for another.”

“Parenting is pretty ridiculous, you are trying so hard to raise responsible and happy kids without inflicting them with all your bad habits and your own childhood trauma,” Jen said. “I was a child of the '70s, we played out until the street lights came on and that signaled it was time to go home. Nowadays, we have so many ways of tracking our children and that has added to the pressure rather than reduced it, so we laugh and find things to laugh about.”

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Jen told us she believes children are brilliant and think outside of the box because they don’t even know what the box is. “They are not constrained by adult responsibility and often see new innovative ways of doing things. I think that we are so constrained by the idea of conformity and fitting in and for children that is a learned feeling that comes more with age and experience.”

Moms and dads often find humor in their children’s actions, as well as their words. “When they were younger, some of the things they did were hilarious. I have found as they got older and developed their own personalities that humor can be a shield that protects them (and me) from sticky situations.”

#16

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Brendan Roberts
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My 4yo likes a mixture of two cereals, and, to his horror, I poured the rice crispies on top of the Cheerios. May he, one day, forgive me.

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Still, she revealed there have been loads of times when her kids have said or done something inappropriate “that I need to tell them off about when all I have wanted to do was laugh at them.” You see, sometimes it’s hard to know whether to laugh or get serious.

“I think it really depends on the situation and your needs at the time. I have always tried to be honest and explain that actions have consequences. And yes, that might have been funny at the moment but then gone on to explain why it was wrong.”

Having kids is a huge responsibility, but like with everything in life, you have to find delight in the funny things they say or do. “If you didn’t laugh, you would cry,” Jen added jokingly. Right now, she’s a mom to two teenage boys: “It is the unexpected things that have me smiling, the odd cup of tea and their company.”

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When it comes to parenting, the woman feels that “social media has made the extraordinary feel very ordinary and something everyone can aspire to, and that is very dangerous”. Jen believes it pays for parents to set their expectations low. “That way, your kids will pretty much often put a smile on your face.”

#23

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Jill Chambers
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'll never forget watching Brownies having a water fight (I was a leader but not joining in). One filled her welly up then when everyone else had run out of water she took it off and poured it over her rival 🤢

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#24

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Kitty Xander
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I, too, have an angry meltdown when my cereal is not made in the most perfect way.

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#28

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LeeAnne B
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This. Yes. I have to pause while everyone rolls their eyes at me.

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#29

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ᴀʟᴇxᴏᴛʟ_ᴘʟᴀʏs_ᴄʀᴋ
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

*in over excited ad voice* Druggy dinos! Make your kids happy, and get some sleep into it too! Makes your kids close their lids! They’ll have happy dinosaur dreams! ROAR! Get your Druggy Dinos today!

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#32

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jimmy koerner
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Thought dominance was established by threatening to take away their legos or no noggin for a month

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#34

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Uber Mensch
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

There's the problem: if you don't want them, why should they? Try the whitewashing-the-fence ploy...

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#36

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MumInBits Report

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Hawkmoon
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

A french proverb says "La voie du coeur passe par l'estomac" (The way to the heart is through the stomach).

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#37

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Brendan Roberts
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My 4yo puts his toothbrush in his mouth. But that doesn't necessarily mean he brushes his teeth.

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#38

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Tonya Wallace
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That was a game my dad played with me. He was the food taster, and if it was really good he'd say," ooohhhhh, this is nasty! Do yourself a favor and don't eat it!"" Then I'd know to dig in and grub.

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#45

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Bobby
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

more like after loud thud sit perfectly still and make no noise while you listen for the crying to start.... no cries... "Everyone good up there?"

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#50

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VM37
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Thet's how our while household (4 adults and 2 children) got covid.

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#54

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Joanne Lawrence
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Also having them seemingly blurt out every random thought that enters their mind, leaving you wondering what, if anything, they didn't say leading up to that thought.

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#61

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reallifemommy3 Report

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Queen Shay
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I’m in my late 30s and my mom still has a clay handprint that we did in elementary school. Moms rock

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#64

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#68

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#71

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Anjelika
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Question for the possibility of me having kids in the future, are those parenting books worth it?

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#72

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mommajessiec Report

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Luther von Wolfen
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Walking into church one day, holding hands, my then-5yo said, "Daddy, you what's a really rude word? F*ck." I had to agree.

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#73

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Lynne Hammar
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

sister & I used to watch intently every time a beverage was being poured into two glasses. God forbid they were not *exactly even* or there'd be holy hell to pay

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#80

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Bexx 🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

“Should we roll down the windows and party?” Is how I’m starting every single vehicle trip from now on

#81

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#82

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Joanne Lawrence
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Basically, if the school assignment requires the parents to do more work than the kids, it should not be a school assignment. How is that not a given, honestly? I'm not the one being graded. All those assignments tell you is which kids have parents who are overachievers.

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#83

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Jasper Cool
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Haha my kid also didn't like spicy toothpaste at age 4. He called mint gum spicy too.

#86

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#91

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#97

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Luther von Wolfen
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I love Minecraft because my kid will actually talk about it and I don't have to care or understand.

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#100

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#101

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Courtney Johnston
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That's why i ask them a question back before i answer. Conversation with my nephew. N: Titi, why do you have blue eyes and daddy has brown eyes? Me: why do you think i have blue eyes? N: i think its cause you live near the ocean. So you're eyes look like the ocean. Me: that's sweet, you know your daddy lived near the ocean before you were born right? N: oh, i guess not for long enough.

#102

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Lynn Morello
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

And you had to clap and laugh and praise them while trying to discretely back away.

#103

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B S
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

that's why you don't forget the gag when you duct tape them to a chair

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#104

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Ross Warren
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My daughter decided that her stuffed animal's birthday is whenever we walk past the bakery and she needs an excuse to get a cake.

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#107

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#108

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Kitty Xander
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I, too, am a colonist, civilian, disciplinarian, believer, director, pedestrian, disciplinarian (again), artist and inventor. All jokes aside though, this kid will ace the spelling quiz!

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#109

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#111

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#113

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mom_tho Report

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Catarina
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

And isn't One of your hits :"Leave the dog alone"? I'm a great FAN

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#114

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Jill Pulcifer
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

So true! A few years ago my eldest decided her only goal in life was getting on an Overwatch league, and she was really good. BUT, she decided it the game was lagging by like 2 ms and it was all our fault and her life was now over. It was a fun few days.

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#115

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#116

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#117

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#119

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kevinthedad Report

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Kitty Xander
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I used to do that! I wanted a dog reeeaaallly bad, so I became the dog. I would also force my little sister to be a dog.

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#122

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#124

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LoveNLunchmeat Report

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#126

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mom_tho Report

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