My mother did that to me and I did that to the floor and I will be doing this to my children cuz it's just good parenting

Admit nothing. Deny everything. Make counter-accusations.

Well Played, Kid.

Well, the balls are far more expensive then ground meat :/

Give the girl some credit that Planters guy is really cute

Happens to the best.

It's just an M then.

Boy, I’ll say it counts. But there’s always the old “Fine, you can go to bed hungry.”

I would give her the plate she did not ate from.

Savage

This sounds like my Saturdays

We all love pizza

He has a point.

Wow...what wrong did I say? o_O

Yes...same here..

...6yo: *smells own hand*

The things you are not allowed to have, are always better.

I think that's natural... I mean, doughnuts are the best thing ever. They make the perfect sacrifices

And breakfast.

Horses don't smear marinara everywhere.

Obviously, you need to tell them as well that your growing belly is a "state-funded infrastructure project".

Mom with first child versus Mom with three children

Toooooo funny. I spit my ice tea out !!!!!!

YES you are soooooo right!!!!!!!!

nom nom nom nom

GLaDOS: Except I wasn't laughing.

So the Fidget spinner worked. Kudos!

I'm in!

This sounds like every cat I have had. "Hey, HEY, give me some of your food, it's probably delicious... thanks human but this is disgusting. HEY I bet this piece is AMAZING, give me some".

Marinated monkey butts might be a delicacy somewhere.

1 bag of Goldfish crackers stashed on a top shelf five feet from the floor, one 5 minute bathroom stop, 1 active 2 year old and 1 kitchen chair = totally trashed living room.

I never get that... Toddlers sucking on a piece of something until it looks like it's been half digested already and parents then eating that disgusting goop 🤢

Descriptive talent .... that kid will be a writer

This sounds too much like me but I don't even have kids ...I just say it to myself !😂😂

Watch the salt... Watch the salt! WATCH THE SALT!

This could've been my family...

Amazingly, 1 cracker can turn into 10 lbs of poop, too!

Now you just need a dog to clean your shirt.

I've proven this one many times.

Preferably the "Super Mario" ones! :)

When my son was almost 2, I caught him chewing on our dog’s rubber bone. And yet they survive.

can you tie my shoe lace?

Yeah I like kids but can't eat a whole one...........

Mine too kiddo. Mine too.

Lembas bread.

I do that with the dog!!

MOM!! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?

hell yeah marshmellows make everything better.

Best way to end an argument

Mom, is that you?

the same *senseless* renewed optimism ;)

Future high cuisine critique.

"THIS IS NOT SOME REALITY TV JUST EAT IT!!!"

She ain't wrong.

So helpful

They have to be picky to get those boogers out!

4 year old: if Grandma dies, will the hearse take her body to the cemetery? Me: yes 4: can we ride in the limousine?!

Yep... sadly, completely Yep...

That sounds like you're late for everything until next year XD