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Parenting is a never-ending rollercoaster of ups, downs, loop de loops, and hilarious moments that you can’t help but share with the world once in a while. We know that some munchkins are driving their parents nuts even more than usual because of this whole end-of-the-world business we’ve got going on in 2020.
So Bored Panda has collected the funniest parenting tweets of the month to boost your spirits and to let you know that you’re not alone if you’re feeling overwhelmed or struggling, dear Pandas! Scroll down, upvote your fave tweets, and let us know what funny things have happened in your family life this month. Oh, and if you’re still hungry for more parenting tweets after this list, check out our earlier posts here: May, April, March, February, and January.
Bored Panda reached out to talk about pandemic parenting and the challenges and hilarious moments it leads to with comedian Ariane Sherine who has a daughter. She also gave us great tips on how to calm down your kids if they’re frightened of the coronavirus and what to do if your kids have way too much pent up energy and won’t give you a moment of rest. Read on for our interview with Ariane.
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
chi-wei shen 5 years ago
She has to step out of the stall, wait for the other woman to appear and smile at her. This is the first step to tell the world "I don't give a damn".
Marcellus the Third 5 years ago
But she does, she does... she's too embarassed to leave the stall. This first-steps-based-on-pure-delusional-lies is not the way forward.
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JuJu 5 years ago
And he's only 2. There are more wonderful moments to come. Good thing, you build up a tolerance and won't care much in the embarassing moments there are to come
Celtic Pirate Queen 5 years ago
My 3 year old, in a bathroom stall - "Mommy when I grow up can I have tampons?". My stall neighbor said, "Damn".
kathyberthahazel 5 years ago
My son, first time he saw his dad unclothed. "Nice penis, Dad. I don't like all that hair behind it though."
Jean Novak 5 years ago
Glad to know my embarrassment from 26 years ago has finally made it to the internet
Guada Narbaitz 5 years ago
I had the same convo with my 3 y/o daughter.The hair one, that is. I laughed with the rest of the public restroom 😊
RELATED:
#2
Jeff Diamond 5 years ago
That's it! Your daughter is now more qualified than the Secretary of Education.
Lynn Marie 5 years ago
Most people, of any age, would be more qualified--and more compassionate, and with more common sense--than DeVos! She must go!
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Crazydoglady 5 years ago
The public school I used to work in (in a major US city) often didn't have soap and we definitely had to provide our own disinfecting wipes, tissues and antibacterial liquid. So there's all this talk about being able to open if they can do it "safely". Teachers want to know whose paying for it? That's why we're freaked out. Super grateful I work for a private school (for much less pay) but they provide all of the things I need and I actually feel safe going back.
⚞ Katniss Everdeen ⚟ 5 years ago
It's important to note that even though DeVos is horrible, there are valid reasons that schools (especially older grades) should open (with caution), considering mental health. It might not be safe for some people to not go to school. Please don't @ me.
#3
Weishaar Jamie 5 years ago
I hope the kids that do this do it for themselves and others throughout their lives.
"My 9-year-old daughter came home to mine after a week away (I have shared custody with her dad). She immediately demanded her iPad. I said, ‘Lily, you’ve been away for a week and I haven’t yet had a hug or a kiss.’ She replied sassily, ‘Hmm, that sounds like a you problem, not a me problem!’” Ariane told us about the most hilarious pandemic moment she had with her daughter
Ariane told us that parenting has been more of a challenge recently because she’s had to homeschool her daughter who didn’t enjoy it much.
“She’s really hated homeschooling because she’s so bright and likes to be sat at the front of the class with her hand up, impressing the teacher! Not being able to do that has really demotivated and demoralized her, and it’s been sad to see. She can’t wait to go back to school in September.”
#4
Nothanks L. Walk 5 years ago
Silver lining : your four year old is smarter than all muricans born after 1980
#5
chi-wei shen 5 years ago
Those are just the lucky parents. The unlucky parents see it spilled over something that can't be cleaned easily and sometimes they find out it's a type of juice that can't be removed at all.
Lindsey Judd-Bruder 5 years ago
The unluckiest ones don't see anything at all. Until they find the cup three weeks later, filled with cottage cheese...
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Pippa Runs 5 years ago
Haha omg my almost 2 yo sneaks off and dumps his water on the sofa. That’s why we bought cheap IKEA furniture lol!
Celtic Pirate Queen 5 years ago
I realize this is about kids, but my hubs online profile asked "What's in the cup"?
Anja Schmidt 5 years ago
No - it´s a wonder-fluid that can wander everywhere, where they can´t get yet ...
Samantha Tej 5 years ago
I hate the cup half empty or full analogy. My response is always, “Well, are you drinking from it or filling it?”
#6
CrunChewy McSandybutt 5 years ago
I took my kids to Apple Hill and saw one of the most beautiful sunsets ever and their only response was, "Cool. Can we go to Mcdonalds?"
Torchicachu 5 years ago
thats my nephews whenever we go to a museum. people at their young age have a small attention span and can hardly focus on things we find interesting XD
Load More Replies... chi-wei shen 5 years ago
Every well-meaning parent knows this death stare and most of us have learned to ignore it.
Tim Douglass 5 years ago
Kids experience so much nowadays through the Internet that they have a hard time enjoying reality. ... Says the old curmudgeon.
Catlady6000 5 years ago
I feel sorry that they have no,time for boredom. That was when I was always the most creative
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Torchicachu 5 years ago
these girls look like my nephew when asked to take pictures. he immediately frowns and hardly ever smiles for a picture. its quite difficult to make him look nice/happy
Parenting under regular circumstances can be tough but having to take care of a child who’s scared of the coronavirus is an added struggle. So Ariane told us what she with her daughter to help calm her down. “My daughter already had anxiety and Covid-19 really didn’t help. She was especially worried about my health when she found out overweight people were more at risk,” Ariane said.
“I managed to calm her down by finding stats to prove that mixed-race people are less at risk from Covid than even white people (both she and I are mixed race). I appreciate that this won’t help most people, but go with the science: explain to them that young people, and most people who are young enough to be parents, generally won’t be severely affected by coronavirus—so hopefully, that fact will quell children’s anxiety somewhat.”
#7
Courtney Christelle 5 years ago
My son coloured his nose black and put cat whiskers on his face. Luckily, "permanent" seems to have a different meaning from when I was a kid.
----- 5 years ago
it can be real, i do that to my niece and nephew (4-6 yo), but i do it for my own entertainment as they don't usually understand these comebacks
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chi-wei shen 5 years ago
And now you have to realize that your kids are other people's kids to other people.
Jacques Lacroix 5 years ago
I think his post was ironic, to show that people never see their own kids as bad as they are.
Load More Replies... Celtic Pirate Queen 5 years ago
Was going for a degree in English, thinking I'd become a teacher, visions of being called Professor Dodson at some wonderful Ivy covered establishment. TA'd for my stepmom who taught a split 2/3 grade class for 3 weeks. Nope. Decided - I'm just not that fond of children, especially yours.
Nothanks L. Walk 5 years ago
Only kids that bother me are the brats that parents have just spawned as opposed to raised. You know the ones: loud, obnoxious, morbidly obese at the age of two, inconsiderate, destructive, demanding, standing on furniture, etc. Parents just standing there or worse yet praising them for being so cute or whatever.
M Kate McCulloch 5 years ago
Once you meet other people's kids they go away. What's so annoying about that?
#9
Kerless Wispa 5 years ago (edited)
You didn't get a petulant, "So, who makes them?" (Adult equivalent, "I want to speak to whoever is in charge".)
DC 5 years ago
Lying is never great parenting, unless it is a matter of survival. Lying is crappy parenting - who are your childen to trust? This easily grows into dimensions it isn't just wrong in a philosophical sense, but also damaging. Don't let it even start!
Celtic Pirate Queen 5 years ago
I used to tell my kids I didn't have a choice because it was in "The Mommy Manual" (chapter 6, paragraph 18). Seriously? You want me kicked out of the Mommy Union and have them send you some random replacement model? Fine. I'm taking my Mac-n-Cheese recipe with me. Bye! Suckers. Oh, I meant me.
Toni Carroll 5 years ago
I do this all the time with my grand kids. I have to follow Mommy's rule, right? Well, she says no cartoons at Grammy's place.
Bacony 5 years ago
"If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything"
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But what about parents who feel completely overwhelmed, stressed-out, and knackered? What are they to do with their super-energetic munchkins who are wreaking havoc at home?
“I would ensure they keep active, both physically and mentally. Take them out to run around and burn off excess energy. I also have a board game, dice game, and card game cupboard, so we play UNO and Perudo and loads of other games my little one loves, and that keeps her occupied and content and staves off boredom.”
#10
Chewie Baron 5 years ago
It's the way it's smiling. During the day I'm sure it's lovely, but at nighttime, it's like some psychotic killer.
Elisabeth Moriarty 5 years ago
OMGS I looked at the picture for a while trying to find what everyone was talking about and the I saw it I will now have to sleep with the light on. )0(
Katie Bell 5 years ago
My four year old cousin was looking over my shoulder and I have doomed my sister to constant bed requests ...... She is going to kill me if she survives
#11
GirlFriday 5 years ago
Corona Pirates is what my nephew calls it. We wear masks so the Corona Pirates don't recognize us and can't get us.
Little Dino 5 years ago
awww...that's so cute! It's also an effective way to tell younger kids why they need to wear their masks. :)
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Torchicachu 5 years ago
at least hes respectful and understanding about the rule. way more behaved than some adults nowadays
In an earlier interview, Bored Panda spoke about pandemic parenting with mom-of-two Samantha Taylor, who has her very own blog, Walking Outside in Slippers. She told us that the pandemic had completely changed things for her family because of the lockdown and having to spend more time at home with the kids.
“We've gained weight. My husband is exhausted, but there's never much downtime for us and certainly no alone time. We feel too guilty to even make a just-because Target run, so there are fewer outlets for our stress,” she said.
“Our kids seem to scream even louder and want a snack even more desperately when we jump on work calls. On the bright side, I feel like this situation has pushed us closer together as a family,” Samantha explained that it’s not all doom and gloom.
#13
chi-wei shen 5 years ago
There is a proper time to speak to other people and early in the morning usually is not that time.
Courtney Christelle 5 years ago
In all fairness, does anybody like interacting in the morning?
Guada Narbaitz 5 years ago
My four year old girl, woke up and came to where I was having breakfast. "Good morning, hon." She actually growled. "Dont talk. It annoys me."
Mo Poppins 5 years ago
Not a shocker. Temperament and constitutions are heritable. If you’re not a narcissist, don’t breed with one.You might spawn a psychopath. Happens ALL THE TIME.
Celtic Pirate Queen 5 years ago
I could be your daughter - and I don't even rely on coffee. I'm just a "stay out of my space until my brain has caught up with this whole morning setup s**t" kinda gal. That's why my husbands office is UPSTAIRS and mine is DOWN.
Karen Lyon 5 years ago
I had a nephew (when he was about three), who responded to my "Good morning, Alex!" with "No, Aunt Karen, don't talk to me." His younger brother was much more succinct: "BAAAH!". I miss those days......
#14
M Kate McCulloch 5 years ago
i was that kid - my apologies from the future... recommendation from a grown up kid who was that desperate for attention (because I really was) explain early that the joke was really funny! Now you need to find new people to tell it to because that's when jokes are the funniest - when they are brad spanking new! Good job!
#15
Celtic Pirate Queen 5 years ago
Don't laugh. My 8 year old set his bed on fire trying that. Little s**t.
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The best advice that the mom-of-two could give us was that parents should let go of too many expectations during the pandemic. “Prioritize what's most important: sleep, healthy food mixed in with the junk, kids using their brains in some way each day.”
She continued: “Let go of becoming the ‘perfect’ Pinterest parent during this time. If anyone claims to be perfect right now, they're not giving you the whole story. We're all struggling to some degree. I also love the idea of doing kind acts for others and involving our kids in those actions. It's harder to feel sorry for ourselves when we're focusing on making someone else's day a little brighter.” Now those are tips that should make at least some parenting struggles less painful and more fun.
#16
Izzy_ 5 years ago
Never trust a silent room with kids or two kids playing nicely all of a sudden
Cori 5 years ago
Amen! I know all about that heart sinking feeling when you realize it is too damn quiet. Mine are 2 and 6. Quiet is never a good sign around here.
Load More Replies... Jeff Diamond 5 years ago
At least the 2yo didn't have the sharpie. The room would've had the tattoo.
Lynda Momalo 5 years ago
Turned out my suddenly quiet 3 year old had given herself a crew cut (but only on the top.)
Alex Boyd 5 years ago
But how long were they quiet and occupied for? Sharpie wears off in less than a week. If they were quiet for, say, 30 minutes, that's not necessarily a bad tradeoff.
Anja Schmidt 5 years ago
i had a visit from 2 moms and their kids. the children were suddenly very, very quiet. it turned out that they found decorative sand that they let pour into the ventilation slots of our stereo system ful of joy ...
Katie Bell 5 years ago
I love how as a parent if it's loud you tell them to be quiet but when it's quiet then something is wrong and you are being loud and then you cry omg YOU CANT WIN
Kevin Wayne 5 years ago
When I was about 7, I offered tattoos to kids in the neighbourhood. I drew skulls, bones, pirates... and swastikas (I didn't know the downside to that symbol back then, obviously). I charged 2 bucks per tattoo and drew it with permanent marker. Some moms were very pissed at me for drawing swastikas on their kids cheeks... (laughing in silence)
M Kate McCulloch 5 years ago
somehow I find it strange that an 8 year old would know these things already....
Weishaar Jamie 5 years ago
Kids see, experience, and know far too much "these days", 11 and 12 year olds are having sex.
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*sigh*, The Yellow Teletubby 5 years ago
it does leek serious, yes. Water all over the place. totally
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#18
Jeff Diamond 5 years ago
You have 30 seconds, and they're literally breathing against your neck...!
#19
Randy Klefbeck 5 years ago
They haven't had enough of those experiences to be jaded yet. And you Mom have probably made up for that episode in a way so nice and easy for you that you don't even remember it. That is the foundation your kid will learn, so being jaded is gonna take a lot longer, and be a lot harder for your kid to become (which we all hope will be never).
Niki Norway 5 years ago
It truly is witchcraft. My son does the same. In my head I think "Nooo. Nope. Not falling for it.... Gawwwwww".
#20
#21
Lynn Marie 5 years ago
Would we want an evil scientist to do experiments? No. Stick with the laughing.
Beli Keshini 5 years ago
Sounds like something my son would have said - "My three voices won't be happy about this...."
Nupraptor 5 years ago
A lot of guys ignore the laugh, and that's about standards. I mean, if you're gonna get into the Evil League of Evil, you have to have a memorable laugh. What, do you think Bad Horse didn't work on his whinny? His terrible death-whinny?
Marcie Reynolds 5 years ago
The Evil League of Evil is watching, so beware.
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Molly Cule 5 years ago
One thing I enjoy about having to rub anti-bac goop into my hands multiple times a day, is that it is now socially acceptable to look like you're hatching an evil plan.
#22
#24
Mark Stewart 5 years ago
Get out of doing anything useful and make it seem like they're doing you a favour in the process. That kid's going to be a politician some day.
#26
Kimberley Thomas 5 years ago
Sounds like cats who want to go outside only to change their mind when they get that hint of reality.
Kharma Arlo 5 years ago
My daughter with Down syndrome does this with going bye-bye, begs to go out, moans to go home, cries when we arrive home.
Nothanks L. Walk 5 years ago
See this is why you hook your sprinkler up to a reservoir and just drown your children in it instead of turning the sprinkler on.
#27
Erin Mahar 5 years ago
I trimmed my 2 year old (now 24) sons hair right before my Grandparents 50th anniversary party at an upscale restaurant/inn. When my Dad looked at him, he told me he'd seen better haircuts on the amish. 😂😂😂
#28
Courtney Christelle 5 years ago
When my son asks if we can watch a movie, what he means is I'm going to watch this kid's movie by myself cause he got bored after 5 minutes.
#29
Philler Space 5 years ago
God also made botulism and yersinia, and they hurt plenty.
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Jasper Lu 5 years ago
it depends how sugary the food is (source: brain games [national geographic]
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#30
Ashley Conover 5 years ago (edited)
There is a particular cat where I live whose favorite food is pizza and he tried to take some yesterday.
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🍿WhErE iS mY pOpCoRn🍿 5 years ago
Not only should they not be able to eat pizza but they shouldn’t be able to eat bacon egg and cheese pitas (it’s a long story)
Scagsy 5 years ago
Dogs actually can't eat chocolate, you'll be pleased to know. It can often be fatal. Do NOT feed your dog chocolate. Unless you want to kill it. Which makes you a terrible person.
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#34
Rare Wubbox 5 years ago
Why do you watch the football/soccer games (Im a Brit) when you could be doing that yourself?
Carrie de Luka 5 years ago
Cos we couldn't dive dramatically to the ground clutching an 'injured' body part half so well. It is a 'skill'.
Load More Replies... WilvanderHeijden 5 years ago
So why was Trump talking about ingesting disinfectants when he could have done it himself? After all there's nothing he doesn't know more about than any expert in that field.
John-Paul Bitler 5 years ago
She's probably one of those weirdos who like Tiktok. Let her do her thing
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Audrey Bob-The-Builder 5 years ago
'You used it making yourself a mummy. But you used tape because you used all the toilet paper dragging it around!"
Rare Wubbox 5 years ago
Can I ask someone to put a good comment? Please? So no-one sees the downvoted one?
Lizzie Robbins 5 years ago
We go through so much tape with 6 kids in our family! Where does it even go!!?!?!!
#36
#38
#40
chi-wei shen 5 years ago
Me: Watching a movie set up in medieval time. My little son: How old were you when this happened?
Anxious Pansexual Nightmare 5 years ago
Whenever my family talks about my parents as kids we say, "Back when dinosaurs walked the earth, and the world was black and white." My dad actually started that
Jeff Diamond 5 years ago
My kids ask if we knew such-and-such "back in old times when [I] was a kid." I have to remind him we didn't live in caves.
SilverLining 5 years ago
My 5yo asked me what it was like living with dinosaurs "back in the day". I feel your pain.
Beli Keshini 5 years ago
Me and son: watching a Dvd in black and white from my mothers birth year. Son: How was it for Grammy before colour was invented?
#43
#44
lenka 5 years ago
Hahaha. OMG This. lol. And then you try and be an awesome mum and show genuine interest and encouragement only to realise that due to your apparent enthusiasm, the story is now longer than War and Peace.
SilverLining 5 years ago
This is like my son and his Minecraft tales. Oh dear. I feel guilty for admitting that.
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#49
#50
Mme de Poppadom 5 years ago
This is adorable! What a great teachable moment for the "market value" of exchanging labour for wages. Not a bad age to start having chores and allowance. Lots of great resources out there, like "Money-Smart Kids".
#51
Collin Edward 5 years ago
All humans are part cat, but it is conditioned out.
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#52
WilvanderHeijden 5 years ago
Or an inventor, experimenting with sharpies on wallpaper and testing if you switch the h-key with q-key on your laptop, would the laptop notice that?
#55
#57
Tracy 5 years ago
He has 4 daughters and I think has a pretty big following in Twitter because of all his posts about them. Whether any of the posts are fudged, I couldn't say.
Load More Replies... #58
Jeff Diamond 5 years ago
I was stopped at a light, and my 2yo starts yelling "SLOW DOWN, DAD! SLOW DOWN, DAD!" Will do, buddy.
#59
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#61
#63
Anna McHugh 5 years ago
WOW - there IS someone else like me! Social outcast with carb issues - we should definitely form a club.
Marcia Cash 5 years ago
one hour before supper: "I want a jelly sandwich." "Kid, there is a difference between want and need." "I NEED a jelly sandwich!"
#64
Dorothy Parker 5 years ago
20 something years later my stomach resides permanently in my sinuses.
#65
#70
#71
Marcia Cash 5 years ago
if they get hungry enough, they'll eat anything. Picky eaters are made, not born.
#72
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#87
Chris Jones 5 years ago
Hi Rare Wubbox - you may not know this, or you may not care, but my screen reader can't make head nor tail of what is written when people alternate caps and lower case. Ok, I don't have to know what every comment says but it's a teeny bit frustrating truth be told. If you wouldn't mind avoiding writing like that those of us who have sight problems would be very grateful. Thanks in hope.
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#92
evesterunicorn🤪 5 years ago
wikipedia can be faulty cause random people can edit it my hsie teacher went on wiki and looked at the earnings of a famous footballer and it said “bacon sandwich” lol 😂
#93
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Carol Taylor 5 years ago
this is my intellectually disabled brother when his support worker arrives and he doesn't want anything to do with the..all because this virus has stopped him from being social, now he's antisocial..
#101
#103
Dorothy Parker 5 years ago
Voices are like lightbulbs on a dimmer switch. After a while all the lower tones are used up.
#123
Dorothy Parker 5 years ago
At ten months that little darling has it figured out. Surrender Dorothy.
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What do you think ?
Lauren Reder 5 years ago
I asked my 8 year old once what did he want to drink with his pancakes. "Champagne... what do you think I want with it!" The correct answer was milk apparently.
Nicole Tomme 5 years ago
Mine asks for coffee (he means sweet tea.) Guess the end result is the same...
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Victoria Swift 5 years ago
My kids got into a fight in the car one day because my 3 yr old declared she and her 2 year old brother would now sing ABC's. He didn't talk yet but he could sing a tune. So everytime he started singing ABC's she would interrupt him screaming, "No! Not Twinkle Twinkle! I said ABC's!!". He would look confused and try again. This fight went on for about six solid minutes before he finally gave up crying in frustration. I tried to explain Twinkle Twinkle and ABC's were the same tune, but I might as well have tried to explain calculous at that point. Their tiny little brains couldn't understand.
Courtney Christelle 5 years ago
More like a training course on how to survive Gorilla Warfare.
Load More Replies... Lauren Reder 5 years ago
I asked my 8 year old once what did he want to drink with his pancakes. "Champagne... what do you think I want with it!" The correct answer was milk apparently.
Nicole Tomme 5 years ago
Mine asks for coffee (he means sweet tea.) Guess the end result is the same...
Load More Replies... Victoria Swift 5 years ago
My kids got into a fight in the car one day because my 3 yr old declared she and her 2 year old brother would now sing ABC's. He didn't talk yet but he could sing a tune. So everytime he started singing ABC's she would interrupt him screaming, "No! Not Twinkle Twinkle! I said ABC's!!". He would look confused and try again. This fight went on for about six solid minutes before he finally gave up crying in frustration. I tried to explain Twinkle Twinkle and ABC's were the same tune, but I might as well have tried to explain calculous at that point. Their tiny little brains couldn't understand.
Courtney Christelle 5 years ago
More like a training course on how to survive Gorilla Warfare.
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