I’d give her the perfect comment award 🎖️

Lol facts!

The lunch ladies at my elementary school were awesome, they would always let me go for seconds and they would call me “Tony Soprano” too xD They were a bunch of sweethearts, I’ve got swell memories of them, and of my elementary school years overall, since I’ve graduated 5th grade 15 years ago I’ve thought about them a countless number of times. The school itself was one of the best in Brooklyn, kids didn’t pay for their lunch and we were blessed with amazing teachers and staff while receiving a proper top notch education. I’m certainly grateful for it all 🙏

He’s a police, and he’s ready to confiscate a free meal

Pretty sure we were all played in a similar fashion at some point in our childhood. For me it was being too young to wash the dishes, proved her wrong! Took ages for me to click I had been played.

Still remember me and my brother breaking a window in our room while playing with a mini basketball and hoop that'd stick to the glass. He slam dunked it. The silent, slow motion of the glass falling from the second story window to the deck below. The thunderous crash as it shattered into a million pieces. The entire window fell out, and I desperately wanted to follow it

🤣🤣🤣

Not in the UK.

So true! Our local fb SAHM’s groups were always arranging museum visits, nature walks, visits to the library and policeman talks about safety that my kids would never sit still for. Meanwhile the local SAHD’s groups were just having 10am breakfast BBQ’s on a Tuesday morning, sampling boutique beers from a local brewery while the kids and babies all wrestled in the sandpit. (Please note: the dad’s SAMPLED the beers, because they were all beer snobs, they were NOT downing can after can).

1....2....3.... bad puns. Bwah ha ha ha ha

My son got married at 5 years old. A little older, I know, but they had commitment issues.

Facts

Mega hand is eating tiny hand

Let him play beer pong with the other dads, come on

The best part about adult friendships is being able to say "sorry I don't feel like hanging out today" and have them not take it as a personal attack.

Eh.......... NO! We feckin diede!!!

I know that - but I still haven't learned.

Yes and (as a teenager myself) a ton of sports stuff for us opens at 8:00am like what on earth

Oh wow, this is me. Two first hours of the day hyper mode and rest of the day Bored Banda.

In fairness we did buy a car because the guy had a saluki so we knew our greyhound would fit in it.

Dude just got owned by his 3 year old, that’s on some savage s**t right there man 😆

..or wake up, apparently after sleeping in an awkward position, and can't turn your head for 2 days

Also pets snoring = AWWW 😍🥰🤌🤩✨ People snoring = 😡😡😡😡

Wow... You get an hour???

Well you probably did and he's just showing you the "correct" way.... Dad logic lol

Give this man a medal 🏅

0...8...? Yeah, I do think the second one was an 8

Aww I love this

Happened to me on TikTok! Told what I thought was a really cute holiday story and 200k people apologized.

Renaming mine to "feed your damn cat" for the weekend. Pray I survive.

Amen.

To be fair I rotate in my sleep like a rotisserie chicken

To my 8-year-old self: keep on telling people you love wolves. You will still love wolves at age 41 and will be delighted whenever someone gives you socks or a sticker with a wolf on it. XD

I just love how I pick up my 3yo at the nursery every day, and her pants are on the wrong way 😅 Al least she got dressed herself, wich is something I could never acieve with her at home.

I used to have to do presentations every so often to groups ranging from 20 to 150 people. People used to say I was "lucky" because, unlike other speakers who were clearly nervous, I came across as confident, relaxed, and funny. Actually, my legs would be shaking so hard I could barely stand and I would have nightmares every night for about a week beforehand. It was all fake.

I used to have my goddaughter stay with me every weekend & one time she brought a friend for overnight. I thought we should do something fun so I asked if they wanted to go to Chuck E. Cheese & the friend said, "We can't, my mom said they're only open in the summer." Oops! (The same kid insisted she hated pizza, but ordered bread sticks with cheese to dip in sauce, lol).

50s: if I leave the lights off and don't answer the door they'll just go away without even visiting.

I have a possessive, aggressive unexpected urge to scream at someone if they are in the kitchen at the same time I am. I do not know why. In the end, I think, I am just a sad, instinctive, silly animal with weird urges like to eat buttons, and a slow, underdeveloped reaction to those urges, which is there simply to make sure I don't do anything weird. Honestly, I think it's slacking off. That's why I want to scream at people in the kitchen.

Now that he mentioned it I’m in the mood for some potato chips, damnit

😂

I always wondered why women live longer and now I think I found the answer 😂

Nice that this counts as parenting

That baby is a perfect cabbage patch replica.

"Oucheth. And verily, the fair princess didst happen upon a tower wherein dwelt a fearsome Dragon, who was guarding a stone whereupon lay a Sword which gave off an mysterious glow of light. Being wise and cunning, she- no thou mayst not partake of another snack! Thou has already brushed thy teeth! Dost thou wish to hear this story or not??"

Ah, yes, Florida (or australia)

My partner had to have a colonoscopy about 3 years ago and my daughter asked what day his autopsy was scheduled. She was 16 at the time.

Doughnuts make everything better. Gary can stay

one makes a bed, one lies. Unless you met him yesterday, how can you be surprised?

Dang why are they such savages