Why is a photo of me here?

Hi, Kevin!

"Weird orange fungus"... Surprised nobody made a Trump joke yet.

“Sometimes I feel like he just doesn’t know me”

These days I'm shocked when I have to buy something that I haven't needed in ages. Just replaced my kitchen floor, which has needed it since the day I moved in 10 years ago. It was at least twice what I thought it would be. I don't understand how so many people just don't understand the financial pressures on young folks today.

those look like some interesting beans...

F**k, yeah!

I live alone. No one is around, and yet I curse up a storm all day, all night. I've read it's a sign of intelligence, but that's not my motivation.

Turns out I'm below average :(

Hot damn me too.

New Jersey has entered the chat

bro like i dont even swear like only in my head cuz... yeah

I've easily blown past the daily amount in the first couple hours. Only on days I'm at work.

Well bust my britches.

F*****G S**T YEAH

sounds about right. The mental swears are at a higher level, like in the 1000's.

As with many such 'average' statistics, the people at the low end of the stat wonder about the people making up the difference. I don't swear very much. I also don't get my '13 hugs a day to stay mentally healthy". Somewhere out there Barnacle Bill the Sailor is spewing a tornado of cuss words as he gets hugs left and right.

Used to be a person could be arrested for swearing in public. Progress?

Yay, good for you!

surprisingly, both are hell on the knees and require good boots.

Oh, there was a reason

“No, I mean microchips.” “So, like the crumbs at the bottom of the bag?”

Biscuit belief is caused by drinking the wine he thinks is blood.

Gonna be some really happy leprechauns!

This one spoke to me spiritually

wdym? i only see a floating vest and some limbs... what dude?

But maybe I will once again have the body I did at 25, and what if I then need to go to a turn-of-the-century costume party?

aw are they twins

PSA on why not to name your dog Derp.

It looks like Sid from Toy Story put that baby together.

But when I wave my genitals in the air people complain! Double standards.

Pics or it didn't happen!!!

Stay mature stay mature omg help stay mature

loss, laugh, love

So true.

Not fast enough, apparently.

The struggle is real between having wet hands and touching those things, most of which don't even absorb anything.

That dog is adorable.

Every. Damn. Time. Also how did you get a picture of my dog?

Nothing wrong being polite to people who have access to your food and spit

He is doing his bit to dispel the belief that all over drivers are serial killers. Or maybe not.

I eat pork, does that count?

You only get 2 days of parole. Then back in you go for the next 20 years to life.

Then that feeling when they were actually on the remote 👌👌👌👌

I might have to look for this one in shirt form

The log machine is broken

OMG yes! I used to be one of those kids but had no idea I was cool.

Apparently it is only horrible in the U.S.?