In the Karen’s defense, who’s first thought would be, ‘Well look at that! A chicken must be on the loose and that person must be luring them with Kale!’ No, I’d be like who is on my property? Although I am glad to hear Zelda is safe.

I want this person to break any upcoming bad news to me.

You have to completely ignore them and possibly even swear at them.

I understand this annoyance. People steal and then sell

The brown eye sees all! None shall escape the wrath of the Flatulent Phantom!

At this point I feel some empathy toward coyotes

Look how close those peacocks are to each other! And they're not even wearing a mask.

How do you know it specifically wants $5? Surely a burrito would settle the matter

If you are looking for ransom I can tell you I don't have money, but what I do have are a very particular set of skills. Skills I have acquired over a very long career. Skills that make me a nightmare for people like you....

valid question. I'm typing this message on my lawn chair right now

Ngl John seems like a fun guy!

They should just change the ‘Are’ to ‘Have’ and it’ll be a learning opportunity

to be honest, it's kinda justified if the dog was barking nonstop at three a.m., otherwise yes nobody curses at the dogs

Good job they blanked out those usernames, otherwise Besty Bryans and Kellon Crawford might have had their anonymity compromised. They sure dodged a bullet there.

We both know I'm not coming back

Lettuce pray

This person is apologizing to their neighbor about frogs in the world, meanwhile mine is blasting techno at 1 am.

how to get an eye infection:

time to run far, far away, kids

Ew

Check for nose prints on 1st floor windows

someone is peeping. get a camera.

They came back for them?!!! Yeesh

Hmmmm…. What could a male have possibly done at night where he could have forgotten his shorts….

Creepy

Take my money

Trigger warning a little bit late there

Yes! I want a space laser. Soon the world will be mine to control! 😈

Is it because the squirrel wants five dollar?

What did I just read? Let’s get the fam together to dress up a dead bird carcasses…

.thanks i guess

Just turn off the internet. Should clear it out

Larks' tongues! Wrens' livers! Chaffinch brains! Jaguars' earlobes! Wolf nipple chips!

Sage advice.