Bear in the Big Blue House for me

Measles is making a comeback! So is polio! Good job, anti-vaxxers! (sarcasm)

Omg this made me laugh so hard!!

That's a well decorated baby 👌

The answer is "because toddler"

My husband is very involved and most parenting things are equal but my kids will still seek me out in another room to help them with something when dad is right there! So annoying.

I had to restore order with a whip and a chair when mine got home from the grandparents…

Try too hard and you raise an adult who apologies for existing.

Do you think she was ok?

Just for a moment there, when I read crushed goldfish, I had forgotten about the snacks of that name....

Missing: one coffin, size small.

Until your husband gets 'MAN SICK!" LOL!

The fact that they call it research is offensive to anyone working 12 hour days in a lab 6 days a week to give people a chance to survive some of the nastier diseases.

Yes Philly dear, you are.

Respects. I was a single Dad of 4! Mom's get all my love!

How about when they show up at the side of the bed and are just staring at you until you wake up? Kids are creepy sometimes.

Why not? A mom can look nice and dress herself up for the playgroup if she wants to. I don't have human children, but I don't like even the "ha ha funny joking" shame that women do to other women over stuff like clothes, makeup, dressing up, etc.

As an adopted child, I can definitely say that I was NOT breastfed and there was no way I could have been XD While I might be weird, I definitely survived to adulthood with all my bones and organs intact! Formula is fine! Fed is best XD

Captain Buttwipe.

"If you're going inside, would you get me another Pepsi?" The words of my late and beloved aunt. She was amazing.

Yes, this!

Co-sleeping could fix this🤷‍♀️

House work is a workout, food shopping, washing the car, walking anywhere....all much easier and comfortable to do in work out gear, I'll die on this hill.

oh dear. so my mother DOES know.

Yeah I have done this, lullabys, jokes, stories and past 30 mins straight threats

My friend was holding his baby daughter on his lap while sitting at a table and she was playing with a toy which she dropped. He leaned to pick it up and whack goes her head on the table.

The real holiday is the day AFTER Valentine's Day. That's when all the chocolate is discounted.

Beam me up Scotty.....NOW!

This is funny as hell and absolutely not off limits. The super secret trick to humor is to understand the temperament of your audience and your relationship to them. Some kids would laugh at this and never feel insecure. I know, I was one. My sister and I both took jokes like this in stride, in part becayse we had great parents who made us feel loved and safe from day one. Other kids, I'm sure, would experience a range of insecurity and trauma.

You also know that these mothers have a full time nanny, and their "parenting" is that playgroup.

ALAN!!!

Missed that one BP. 😂

Oakden

So true.

I still love those freez-pops! I'm 66! LOL!

This is correct!

Every.single.day.

It works for us😊

You missed a spot on that last one

”My mum… she’s all mouth.”

“Raise your kids so you can spoil your grandkids”

To be fair, my dogs and my cats both do this too XD

Should I just delete my own comment?

This could be changed to parents instead of just moms :)

Is this Napoleon Dynamite?

And they can bite me. I'm not buying your over-priced, no-real-benefit-to-my-health garbage.

Laaaamp

Those blessed be the fruit dresses look great on everyone but me ffs

It means: next morning, the kid you can hardly wake up at 8 am on weekdays will be wide awake at 5.30am, in a terrible mood (because tired) from 8.30 on and absolutely refuse to take a nap all day long.