🎶 My Ford Ranger left me for a stranger🎶 I have a hickup whenever I see a pickup 🎶 Now I just sing hoo ha and have to settle for the good ol' stick shift hawk tuah. 🎶

Whoah, little rich boy over here...

I like the *sharing* bag size of crisps. Hahaha, NO! Fűck off and get your own.

so you work at hooters I see .... don't you try lying to me ... so that's your seminar ?

Mixed results, I gotta laugh, but also a punch 🤷🏿‍♂️

💀

Don't judge my life choices... :D

"Do not pickup hitchhikers for the next 10 miles"

Putting away? I have 2 hampers. one for clean and one for dirty. They alternate.

It can identify however it wants too.

That helicopter looks like a frogmouth to me...

More bacteria, with extra streps

"Do not touch the fruits!"

Bunker. Sweet bunker!

Errybody???

Agreed. I say, "Hey guys!" in the same way.

O, Lordy! I laffed out loud! 🤣🤣🤣

No I don't have to do that. But then I don't live in the land of the free.

Fair enough.

It’s a phenomenon that I’d prefer remain top secret

I can hear this picture.

When your knees say "f**k you, we are not working today". Relatable 😣

When you live two lives(night and day) you age twice as fast

Try "pigeons with front facing eyes"

you haven't finished your quest.

But in the living room!

Ahhh...... youll be alr

Read in Cheech Marin's voice...

We'd get on well.

We had a case here where a lady had a chokolate and then almost died from her own saliva (not the chocolate piece, just saliva )

This alligator looks like he's smiling. 🐊

Same with people I *do* know

My parents just explained it to me. They simplified explained what they need the money for and I think it's the best to be open at the beginning with how the world works. (Same with sex education)

Whatever you say, buddy.

That's where they make the conspiracy theories.

It's 50/50.

It's an invitation for an epic pillow fight

Good I been in army. After that s**t my anxiety just gone. I just explained to myself nothing can't be worse from now

yeah susan

if i leave now, i can still catch bill maher

I believe with all my heart that Shameless re-used the ER set, so when Frank was in the hospital he could re-live his Morgenstern years :)

Burn baby burn

Say you don't want to have kids without saying you don't want to have kids.

Did you eat paint chips as a kid?

I kind of want to break into there.

That didn't exist when I was a child

We had my mom's old NES and SNES for a long time, eventually they both broke, but then one of my dad's friends sent us a Nintendo emulator, so we have all of the old games back! (This was before the Nintendo Online Archives were a thing, btw) Which means I can still fail at Star Tropics as many times as I want!

Not fair. I hooked up my snes yesterday and spent Labor Day playing Zelda

😮

If you ever visit London, England; visit the museum of childhood 😄

This is not old. What's old is the very first video game I ever played, in the 70s, called Pong. It was basically a DOS-like version of Ping Pong that you played on your TV, in black and white.

I have never been that fond of computer games or whatever. So when my bf and I found the Computerspeilmuseum in Berlin he was super excited and I was more sceptical. I ended up having a BLAST! It is totally one of the most fantastic museums I ever visited! 😁

I have tat museum setup in my living room.

Heh. On the campus of Johnson & Wales (RI) is a "culinary museum". Good old-fashioned two-burner Coleman camp stove in there. I have one in my basement in perfect working condition; still used all the time.

I owned five of those (SNES, Mega Drive, Master System, Saturn, Dreamcast) and I still have the Dreamcast. Best console ever.

When the excuse takes more time and effort than actually going to work 🙃