🎶 My Ford Ranger left me for a stranger🎶 I have a hickup whenever I see a pickup 🎶 Now I just sing hoo ha and have to settle for the good ol' stick shift hawk tuah. 🎶

Whoah, little rich boy over here...

I like the *sharing* bag size of crisps. Hahaha, NO! Fűck off and get your own.

so you work at hooters I see .... don't you try lying to me ... so that's your seminar ?

Mixed results, I gotta laugh, but also a punch 🤷🏿‍♂️

💀

Don't judge my life choices... :D

Yes! And bread, too.

I do this with cheese in the refrigerator.

If it works, it works

what about a bag of chips, works the same

Preciate it

You have to twist the open end first THEN push it against the wall

It works for me.

Hey, it works...

Everything in my fridge is up against the wall

No, you need to eat at least half on opening so that you can stand it on its end.

Guilty.

Thank you, finally some appreciation

I do this in the freezer.. 🤦‍♀️ don't judge me.

I thought I was being clever, lol

twist and tuck

Thought I was the only one !

The crackers I eat with my lunch are closed like this about a foot from my desk, lol

I feel seen! I had no idea there were others.

If you can't eat it enough to tie it off, you shouldn't have opened it

"Do not pickup hitchhikers for the next 10 miles"

Putting away? I have 2 hampers. one for clean and one for dirty. They alternate.

It can identify however it wants too.

That helicopter looks like a frogmouth to me...

More bacteria, with extra streps

"Do not touch the fruits!"

Bunker. Sweet bunker!

Errybody???

Agreed. I say, "Hey guys!" in the same way.

O, Lordy! I laffed out loud! 🤣🤣🤣

No I don't have to do that. But then I don't live in the land of the free.

Fair enough.

It’s a phenomenon that I’d prefer remain top secret

I can hear this picture.

When your knees say "f**k you, we are not working today". Relatable 😣

When you live two lives(night and day) you age twice as fast

Try "pigeons with front facing eyes"

you haven't finished your quest.

But in the living room!

Ahhh...... youll be alr

Read in Cheech Marin's voice...

We'd get on well.

We had a case here where a lady had a chokolate and then almost died from her own saliva (not the chocolate piece, just saliva )

This alligator looks like he's smiling. 🐊

Same with people I *do* know

My parents just explained it to me. They simplified explained what they need the money for and I think it's the best to be open at the beginning with how the world works. (Same with sex education)

Whatever you say, buddy.

That's where they make the conspiracy theories.

It's 50/50.