I believe this. Also: just when your pillow is worn in enough to be just right for you it *will* fall apart.

this was me yesterday

That's damn scarry when you realize homeless people had pretty standard life before. Usually starts with unemployment, separation, health trouble, bankrucy, alcool... Can happen to anyone.

I have seen this one a lot but still funny as hell. The kid looked so happy and how bad is this fake MJ

I take my showers after my shift at hospital, this is the basic hospital soap, raw as f**k. My wife use some expensive organic multi oil soap. I am smoother 😅😅

Well... i'm no Henry Cavill but it worked for me, one time. It was 22 years ago and still running

Grandma Moses was in her 80's when she took up painting. Don't give up.

I have great great memories from event before the smartphone era. Never understood why people think they have to record something cool to live

I may be going to hell for laughing too hard at this one! :))

I'd say choose carefully the stuff you say to people.

Our CPU time is limited, turning the volume down reduces load and frees processing power to parse our surroundings.

Finding out it wasn't a girl.

On Your Left

If someone walks behind me and I feel creeped out, I'll just unleash a fart cloud of doom and casually escape while they're busy upchucking.

On your left!

Can we just appreciate the hair they put on the guy on the right? Just makes it so much funnier!

This is me, this meme, it's me.

Does Marcellus Wallace look like a b*tch to you?

I’m a woman and I’ve scared men when I go out for a walk at night and they don’t expect to see another person. That always cracks me up

Haha.. Yea.

If I enter an elevator at a hotel and the sole female occupant has already selected my floor, I make sure I exit before her for this reason.

And that's why the "stop" button is one of the most important inventions

I had read my horoscope in a satire magazine once. It said I would lose my job... I had in fact just lost my job 🤷🏻‍♀️

Haha I got out of bed just before this

Team Coyote here !

I usually use a private browser for stupid searches. Not even obscene ones, just stupid ones. I am boring. (edit: on the other hand, when I've been looking at textures of skin of intimate areas to replicate it while modeling digitally, I don't bother using a private search. Who cares. Balls.)

If a god who cares exists then why is the plane shaking in the first place??? Why do humans have to beg their God to try to get her to do good things?

When you remember how year 2000 looks like the future...

Run for your life buddy !

I got so buff when caring for my grandma.

I hate that I hear Skeletor's voice when I read these.

I thought: everybody in a restaurant kitchen

With 100 mill I can send my mom on a dream vacation.

Nightmare

Ahem, my shirt does not see Dwayne Johnson. It sees someone in significantly worse shape and much paler. Not all of my hair has left my head yet, so I guess thats a win for me (I realise that The Rock looks great bald - I will not).

i relate to this too much, sadly.

I feel you brother.