Ok that's oddly specific 🤔 😂

This is sooooooooooooooooooooooooooo.....??

Well, what had happen was...

Speaking from a nurse's POV, when the nurse says walking will make things worse (after "falling" on that toy), it's best to listen and take the bus, not walk to the ER. Let's just say emergency surgery was required. 😉🙄

I slipped and fell onto a * insert item *, a**s first

So I was just trying to see if I was immune to stabbing so…..

One in a million shot doc, one in a million...

I slipped and fell, THAT'S why this coke bottle is stuck up my butt....

I was innocently putting the curtains up while naked and fell, it just went right up there and now it's stuck, scouts honour

"I slipped and fell on the beer bottle, that's how it got lodged up my a*s"

It was a million to one shot, doc

Who are we to judge people who want to stick things up their butt?

I swear, I fell on that cactus!

Welp, I couldn't help it

I have fibromyalgia and every once in a while will get some random new pain. Nothing that causes me serious alarm, but I always mention it to my husband "just in case". Now, here's what you tell the EMTs when they get here.

Leaves out a lot of fun stuff.

Like how that lightbulb got shoved up your a*s. No paramedic believe she just accidentally sat on it…

Sooo, just how did that specific item end up inside that bodily orifice, anyway?

I swear I don't know HOW that got THERE?!

ROFL! Yeah but if everyone followed this advice, no out-of-hospital service provider would have nearly as many funny stories to tell! :)

Yep! The ol' "Hold my beer and watch this"

And if anyone says "hold my beer and watch this" duck tape them to a chair.

or your attourney

And especially if its being filmed for reality TV. Guy in the emergency room with a toilet brush end fully up his bum. 'I went to the loo and slipped badly'. Nurses and docs couldn't remove without causing serious injury and they had no option but to refer to surgery. As they were discussing they said 'it's going to have to be pushed up' (to the surgeons) and then they couldn't stop giggling.

You can't say anything we haven't heard before, just get to the point.

“I swear, I slipped and fell on it, and it went up my butt!” “But why were you naked at a museum?”

I have the t-shirt and it always gets a few laughs when I wear it "If you don't want to tell the nurse in ED what happened - Hold your own beer"

And wear clean pants

I took that picture!

Unfortunately as someone who worked in EMS. I can say most do not take this advice. Better advice would be to do it to the point of unconsciousness so you don't have to answer questions.

too late for me.

I just fell

Well there go my chances

Love it. Passive aggressive and you get a nice turtle to color..

Don't forget to branch out!

double it and give it to the next person

*Establishes dominance*

u know those doors where theres one set of doors, walk a few feet, another set of doors? yeah. so um... i pulled the first ones open, walked, and tried to push the doors. it was very embarrasing

Garbage can’t

Just make sure the glasses are plastic and the bottom enclosed so you don't end up with a tub full of sharp glass