Ok that's oddly specific 🤔 😂

This is sooooooooooooooooooooooooooo.....??

Well, what had happen was...

Well there go my chances

Love it. Passive aggressive and you get a nice turtle to color..

Don't forget to branch out!

double it and give it to the next person

*Establishes dominance*

u know those doors where theres one set of doors, walk a few feet, another set of doors? yeah. so um... i pulled the first ones open, walked, and tried to push the doors. it was very embarrasing

Garbage can’t

Just make sure the glasses are plastic and the bottom enclosed so you don't end up with a tub full of sharp glass

Come here snake pizza, get in mah belly!

Instructions unclear. Removed pants, and am now stuck in a bin.

GLORY-ious advice for a HOLE in one

🎶 Don't you go where the huskies go and don't you eat that yellow snow 🎶 Frank Zappa

Some days you're the windshield, some days you're the bug.

Oka-ZZZZZZ

there was a chalkboard in your bathroom? I guess that’s one way to combat graffiti

That's exactly how my ex found out why a snapping turtle is called a snapping turtle.

*reconsiders life choices* *starts twerking like never before* "OMG IT WORKS"

They? Who’s they? Now I’m even more afraid

Not a problem for women for once

this would absolutely complete my valentines day

Mom really knows best

Why should I ignore this part? What secrets does it hold?

🐧

Now I want a winterversion of the song walk like an egyptian (Bangles)

and he waddled away

Suddenly hearing this advice to the Bangles tune.

Actually, this is true! Scottish NHS trusts are recommending to walk like a penguin on ice. Google it if you don't believe me!

Better yet, just go ahead.... sit down and slide! You're going to end up on the ground anyway!

My feet aren't webbed.

Forget walking like an Egyptian, penguins are cool!

Ha ha I'm fat so I do that anyway! 🤣

this is way over the heads of people who don't live in cold places

Will do! Absolutely!

thanks BP, I'm now singing "walk like a penguin" to the tune of "walk like an egyptian"

I mean it works I have done it before but I also basically live on the ice so it could just be me.

*WADDLING INTENSIFIES*

...or an Egyptian

Flat-footed.

"Walk like an Egyptian penguin" 🎶 Actually it works.

And sting like a bee

Tried walking like an Egyptian and fell on my asd

EIther avoid Uncle Mike 100/100 or stay with Uncle Mike 100/100