Ok that's oddly specific 🤔 😂

This is sooooooooooooooooooooooooooo.....??

Well, what had happen was...

Well there go my chances

Love it. Passive aggressive and you get a nice turtle to color..

Don't forget to branch out!

double it and give it to the next person

*Establishes dominance*

u know those doors where theres one set of doors, walk a few feet, another set of doors? yeah. so um... i pulled the first ones open, walked, and tried to push the doors. it was very embarrasing

Garbage can’t

Just make sure the glasses are plastic and the bottom enclosed so you don't end up with a tub full of sharp glass

Come here snake pizza, get in mah belly!

Instructions unclear. Removed pants, and am now stuck in a bin.

GLORY-ious advice for a HOLE in one

🎶 Don't you go where the huskies go and don't you eat that yellow snow 🎶 Frank Zappa

Some days you're the windshield, some days you're the bug.

Oka-ZZZZZZ

there was a chalkboard in your bathroom? I guess that’s one way to combat graffiti

That's exactly how my ex found out why a snapping turtle is called a snapping turtle.

*reconsiders life choices* *starts twerking like never before* "OMG IT WORKS"

They? Who’s they? Now I’m even more afraid

Not a problem for women for once

this would absolutely complete my valentines day

or dark chocolate... yes, that would also work just as well.

After tragically loosing my bf of 10 years this is where my standards will be set to now. Ofc he would expect no less.

when your girlfriend is a cat

YAAAAAAAAASS!!

Golly! And here I was, just happy with a box of chocs!

Valentine for Karen:)

Is this from Harry to Meghan?

Or a nice foot rub.

I'd love this, and some chocolate

Also oddly specific.

YESSSSSSS!

As I mix the ground bone with concrete. " Are you sure about the masses they're really stupid."

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Yes please if you give that to me I will marry you

This would be so much better than what I normally get, which is nothing. Or a random guy is interested in a hit-it-and-quit-it without telling me until I get attached. Or they're like my ex who always expected sex as a thank you for whatever and get mad at me if I didn't for literally any reason (even though I didn't say no that often). Not everyone gets to be happy.

Should it perhaps be "hewn from the bones of her enemies?" Bones probably don't forge all that well.

Sounds good to me

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Maybe she's born with it, maybe it terror!

Yes please

Mom really knows best

Why should I ignore this part? What secrets does it hold?

🐧

EIther avoid Uncle Mike 100/100 or stay with Uncle Mike 100/100

If only it were true... I'd stay at home all day stuffing my face