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Studying law is generally seen as a very serious intellectual pursuit, that requires a good deal of intelligence and dedication to successfully complete. While this is absolutely true, it doesn't mean that students have to leave their sense of humor at the door!
Turns out, that all those long, hard hours of study help to nurture a special kind of cynical wit. Self aware and bitingly dark, this list of lawyer jokes compiled by Bored Panda really raise the bar. Don't believe us? Scroll down below to check them out, and judge for yourself!
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
Jace 7 years ago
I want to up-vote it for making a good point, but down-vote it for making a joke out of police brutality.
John Carr 7 years ago
Can't be Irish as a Garda (Irish police officer) would never ask for licence and registration. Licence and registration is an American phrase. Here, we have insurance and car tax on disks on the windscreen which the Gardai can check themselves. No such thing as registration.
Stacey Pearce 7 years ago
It's not based in Ireland. Just because it's an Irish cop, doesn't mean he would still use the same words he would in Ireland. He has to use the country he is in phrases.
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Aisha La Gatta Pelirroja 7 years ago
I thought the cop is going to drive away with lawyer's car and then ask him "Daeye want me to stop, or just slow down?".
RELATED:
#2
Dian Ella Lillie 7 years ago
Sadly, too many of their clients are condemned to death. If only the perpetrators could be better held to account.
scrappyrat 7 years ago
Great organization. If you aren't familiar with their life-saving work, please check them out: http://www.http://aldf.org/
scrappyrat 7 years ago
Oops. sorry about the messed up link: http://aldf.org/
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Katie and Jared Coates 7 years ago
It is read as if the kittens are the lawyers.. :) but everyone should support them!
scrappyrat 7 years ago
Kitten lawyers would be absolutely adorable in their wee neckties and business suits. Effective, too. Who is going to rule against a kitten?
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#3
#4
Ladies and Gentlemen 7 years ago
Haahahha... I didn't see that coming. Neither did the accused or the judge.
Dian Ella Lillie 7 years ago
Argh! That's "...accused of..." Way to mess with a linguistic pedant's head!
#5
Ladies and Gentlemen 7 years ago
Hahahahaa... took me a sec to get, but this one is hilarious. Up-voting it right away.
The Laugh Fan 7 years ago
Are you hiding in your desk drawer? Sorry - I know what you meant really. :-)
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The Laugh Fan 7 years ago
As no-one else has explained yet I'll do my best though it's not my greatest skill. You often get free trials for some product, eg 30 days free movies . Instead this person clicked on a free trial but it was a trial for murder The joke is also that as it was free they either had a bad lawyer or no lawyer so were convicted for murder. Hope that helps. :-)
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Kara E. Lovett 7 years ago
I find this actually funny enough to make me laugh out loud, my Uncle's also a lawyer and his sense of humour is on point, he'd like this joke.
#6
Ladies and Gentlemen 7 years ago
CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP.... That extra 4th clap, cringed you a little, didn't it? Hehe!! xD!
Kitsune Ren 7 years ago
To all the ppl wondering what's wrong with the noses of the characters: it's the drawing style of the artist Shen (Blue Chair, Shen Comix, Live with yourself, etc...)
#8
PeachPossum 7 years ago
Three stooges in a lawyer skit: Dewey, Cheatham and Howe
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#9
The Laugh Fan 7 years ago
But...um, if you get convicted for Perjury isn't the murder charge going to follow? Maybe I'm missing the point with this one. It happens!
Just Curious 7 years ago
Ummm, I think it's just a joke... not an actual legal exercise.
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#10
#11
Dian Ella Lillie 7 years ago
As an introvert myself I've experienced that sensation. The judge was understanding...
The Laugh Fan 7 years ago
Ooh - got to agree with you again. Had a weird boss who once did that to me. We went the same direction and she even kept bumping into me and didn't seem to be able to walk in a straight line. We'd been in all day meeting so I know she wasn't drunk. I had to get a train going in the wrong direction just to get away!!
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#12
BREAK YOUr perceptions 7 years ago
look my fashion sense in stuck in the 80's but who the hell taught these guys how to color match their outfits?!?
#13
The Laugh Fan 7 years ago
I think we should try this in court. Could make trials much shorter.
#14
ADHORTATOR 7 years ago
You are right - did it and our couple works since 1997
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#15
Ladies and Gentlemen 7 years ago
When a sci-fi lover turns into professional billboard designer!
The Laugh Fan 7 years ago
Ye-es... though I'm thinking they might need to consider a career change.
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Liessi Haussler 7 years ago
This billboard is right outside one of our fave dim sum joints in Vancouver, Canada and it is 100% legit.
#16
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#19
The Laugh Fan 7 years ago
My dog sent an email this morning. Unfortunately, I hadn't finished it and it was to a customer. She clearly needs more lessons.
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Vernice Aure 7 years ago
Have you heard that scientists are using lawyers in their experiments now? Because there are some things that even rats won't do.
ADHORTATOR 7 years ago
What do you call 5000 lawyers chained at the bottom of the sea? A good beginning.
#21
#22
Stacey Pearce 7 years ago
Yes "Perfectionism" is not OCD but it is apart of it. Someone with OCD always wants things in certain order and if something is not in the right order or place or someone moves something slightly out of plapal until that has been corrected, it drives them crazy and causes bad anxiety. There are many other things that make up OCD and that is why I said ”perfectionism” is not OCD but only a small part of it.
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#23
#24
The Laugh Fan 7 years ago
Aw, don't be sad - perhaps you could think of it as no longer needing to play games looking for someone?
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#26
BusLady 7 years ago
What would we do without Google and Wikipedia? Buy Dictionaries and Encyclopedias. For you younger people who have no clue what those things are, you'll have to google it. ;-)
#27
athornedrose 7 years ago
i've always resented a little bit that even when i know i've done nothing wrong, when i see a cop i feel paranoid not safe.
#28
Peter Frank 7 years ago
Appeal! The doc didn't request any response and as the response was the lawyers own decision it was a Negative Contractual Binding which is not allowed in Sweden..
BoredDragonfly 7 years ago
True. But the doctor did not ask for the advice ;-). He/she just got it, without asking. Or a part of the story is left behind, then the bill would be justified. :-)
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#32
Nia Loves Art 7 years ago
She's turning it around as a positive. It's not "good sexism" it's turning the tables on sexism.
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#33
Stacey Pearce 7 years ago
Hey, no need to be rude to GuineaPigMaster for his comment. Just because you didn't find it awesome like they did that they commented first, doesn't give anyone the right to be rude about it. Haven't any of you heard the saying ” if you have nothing nice to say, then say nothing at all”?
Mommitude Attitude 7 years ago
Lawyer asks the dog: Who's a good boy? Since dog is a "good boy", he's innocent of all crime or he would be a "bad boy".
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#35
#36
Alia G. 7 years ago
Because Priests are called “father”. Like if there were a priest named John, they’d be called Father John. And then in “law”, lawyers work with the law
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#37
The Laugh Fan 7 years ago
Well, at least you'd know what you were getting straight away rather than finding out part way through the case.
GuineaPigMaster 7 years ago
Hmm.. part time lawyer, part time D**k's Sporting Goods person... sounds like him
#38
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#40
Ladies and Gentlemen 7 years ago
And then the Man says "Hey, when did I asked the first question?" Lawyer - "That will be $200!"
BusLady 7 years ago
@BoredDragonfly: We come on BP to have fun and relax. We learn new things, we care and share. But there are always the people who are rude for no apparent reason, or they are deliberately offensive. Others put too much importance on their point balance. Some just like to hold grudges. I don't expect everyone to agree with me, or get my sense of humour. My Sarcasm is not always recognised. And anything you say is going to offend someone (Lol). I have been harassed, bullied, called names, and threatened. I've had derogatory comments about my age and gender, etc. You see comments that are racial, sexist, etc. that are extremely offensive. That kind of behaviour should not be tolerated on BP. The really offensive comments should be removed, not just hidden. Surely there is someone at BP who monitors this. Thanks for listening to my rant (Lol)
BusLady 7 years ago
Also, Sometimes I offend people without meaning to. I try to clarify and apologise. The only people I am purposely rude to are those who have attacked me with no good cause (the ones who do it to everyone), or the comment is extremely offensive.
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Ladies and Gentlemen 7 years ago
Thankfully there was no cat in the courtroom, else that cat would have taken over prosecutor's pillow and he could have never "rested" his case.
BoredDragonfly 7 years ago
And he could have just stepped in it (though that rarely happens with dogs I guess). There is no poop on his tongue ;-)
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#43
LOttawa 7 years ago
I wish people won't stop associating tattoos with incompetence. I know lots of people without them and they are not the sharpest tool in the shed and vice versa.
Paul Osborne 7 years ago
But having a tattoo on your face might be considered an error of judgement
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Swarf 7 years ago
And, IIRC, the person who made that post was pretty apologetic for being a judgmental a*s.
Load More Replies... tama hamilton 7 years ago
Maybe it's a cultural thing. I am polynesian myself and I know many polynesians, for example from new Zealand that tattoo their chins as a sign of respect that they have earned. Does not mean they are uneducated or illiterate or incompetent.
D-m Keilman 7 years ago
I know several upstanding citizens with facial tattoos. My favorite would be Twwly. Open your mind to people.
Adrienne Early 7 years ago
https://www.dailydot.com/unclick/public-defender-lawyer-face-tattoo/
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Mad Haberdasheress 7 years ago
Lol, I totally heard that plea in Aziz Ansari's voice of Tom from Parks and Rec! XD
#45
Karasi Mills 7 years ago
There are 24 beers in a case, and the wife would leave because he's an alcoholic not because of the pun 😉
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Anita Wolf 7 years ago
At 35, in the process of training to obtain my third profession qualifications, I must realize- that probably, law would have been perfect. Well, it just does always depend, doesn't it?
#47
GuineaPigMaster 7 years ago
and we said that on The Highway To Hell (song)
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#49
#50
Ruth Mayfly 7 years ago
Gamestation actually put a 'you agree we own your soul' clause in their terms and agreements page for an April Fool's joke. There was an option to opt out of that bit and also be rewarded with a £5.00 voucher, but 88% of people who made a transaction that day sold their souls (gamestation officially gave them back later!)
BusLady 7 years ago
That is so funny! Glad to hear they got their souls back :-)
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Cotton cloud 7 years ago
Seriously, someone. I don't know where they went, I was busy texting my mom. Find the defendant.
#52
Ben S. 7 years ago
When my eldest daughter was in Kindergarten (so, she was about 5) she brought home a "contract" from the teacher that we all had to sign. We read it to her. It was about taking responsibilities seriously, and putting in her best efforts on the school work, etc. When we finished reading it, she emphatically said, "I'm NOT signing THAT!"
Laetitia 7 years ago
Contracts signed by a minor are not legally binding... Just saying ;)
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#53
#55
Ladies and Gentlemen 7 years ago
I don't have "one" question, I have "many". Dramatic Lawyer, so everyone gasps.
Load More Replies... Just Curious 7 years ago
This is from The Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt, which is a pretty funny (and utterly absurd) show.
#57
Patrick Durbin 6 years ago
This is why when you know your going to loose against someone you selflitigate then go set in thier lawyers office for like a s**t ton of time.
#60
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#75
Kay Pahlad 7 years ago
Everytime I hear motion denied this is the picture that will come to mind.
The Laugh Fan 7 years ago
Aw... It would be more fun if they were allowed to do things like this.
#76
The Laugh Fan 7 years ago
I chose Lawyer-Grey for his underpants as well... I'm not sure what colour 'important' is.
#79
#80
The Laugh Fan 7 years ago
Saw a programme only recently about how so many inmates have smart phones in prison. It won't be a problem.
#81
#82
Kay Pahlad 7 years ago
With the way things are going now, he'll be able to sue the judge for that discrimination.
#83
Cotton cloud 7 years ago
Peppermint Patty probably told him he was, after telling you that you're a funny-looking boy
#84
#85
Merle S 7 years ago
The joke is that everyone else doesn't know... - what does it mean (tried translating it - didn't help)
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#87
#89
#90
thepotatogirl 7 years ago
HOW DOES THIS NOT HAVE COMMENTS???? THIS IS HILARIOUS!!! I wish I could upvote this, but I was too late...
#91
#95
#97
Jace 7 years ago
I don't think you'd graduate law school and pass the bar exam without being willing to write out entire words.
Robert Morson 7 years ago
There's a difference between not being able to do it and just not wanting to do it. This one is clearly the latter.
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#99
Jana Renner 7 years ago
Retirement. You still identify as a lawyer but don't have to go run the tread mill any longer
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Amaranthim Talon 7 years ago
While I agree with you- I repeat - CAN WE JUST ENJOY THE DAMNED JOKES WITH OUT PC IDIOTIC COMMENTS?????
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#103
Jace 7 years ago
Yay, more anti-marriage jokes that imply murderous desire is a standard result of marriage. WTF do people even get married?
M O'Connell 7 years ago
Tax reasons. It's also easier to get a loan if you have a spouse.
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#105
#107
Kay Pahlad 7 years ago
I thought it was that till this comment said otherwise.
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#115
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