Spare a thought for Santa. He gets millions of letters a year to trawl through, with the vast majority of them boring and formulaic along the lines of “Dear Santa can I have an X-Box for Christmas please.”
However from time to time there are little nuggets of genius or hilarity that must surely make the jolly old guy crack a smile. Kids are known for speaking their mind, and are especially forthright when it comes to making requests (or demands), so we here at Bored Panda have decided to make a list of the funniest, frankest and most bizarre Santa Letters kids have ever sent.
Scroll down to check out the list below, and don’t forget to vote for your favourite!
This post may include affiliate links.
My Mom Is A 4th Grade Teacher. Here's One Of Her Muslim Student's Letters To Santa
I don't know why all these comments were downvoted, so I voted them back up. This girl rocks and it's lovely to see people putting religious biases aside to celebrate the true teachings of their religion - happiness and love towards all. If only everyone thought the way this little girl did.
8 Year Old's Letter To Santa
Heartbreaking & heartwarming at the same time. What a wonderfully kind brother and human being !
My Daughter's Christmas List
Determination, smarts & creativity...this kid's gonna go far. Well done!
Great Logic
So This Store Had A "Dear Santa" Writing Area For Children And This Is What I Saw
Kids These Days
My 11-Year-Old Nephew Made My Mom A Christmas List. Lmao I Feel You Dawg
It'd be nice if kids didn't have to hear about politics from grown ups. Let kids be kids, and make up their own mind where they stand once they're older.
Don't Know If I Should Laugh Or Cry. Letter To Santa Left In The Cookie And Milk Plate
A Letter To Santa From My Brother's 5th Grade Class - "There Will Be Consequences"
I Told My First Grade Class They Were Writing Their Letters To Santa. I Should Have Been More Specific
My Boy's Son Put Together His Christmas List. The Random $29 Has Me Rollin'
As A Jew, Christmas Time Was Always The Hardest Time Of The Year. This Is What I Wrote To Santa When I Was 9
Always seemed mean to me for little ones not to celebrate due to parents religion!
Just Pizza
My Sister Is 9 And This Is Her Christmas List
Little Brother Wrote Santa A Thank-You Card
My Good Friend's Note To Santa Right After Titanic Came Out. She Was 9
So My Cousin Found Out That Santa Isn't Real
He May Look Sweet, But He Is The Devil
My Niece's Letter To Santa
This Is My 4-Year-Old's Letter To Santa. I Think She's On Her Way To Becoming A Doctor
A Letter To Santa
Mall Santa, Meet Skeptical 8yo
I never thought about what the elves did as “slave labor” but... I’m rethinking things.
Creative Wish
My Childhood Letter To Santa Claus
So many wasted childhood years of asking for toys when I could have asked for a clean room! I wonder if Santa would be willing to clean my house now? hahahaha
A 4-Year-Old's Epic Christmas List
Now I want a shark that goes underwater and grabs me corndogs that are already baked!
5-Year-Old Letter To Santa Asking For GTA V: "I Just Want To Play With The Cars, Not The Hookers!"
A Note My 6 Year Old Sister Left For Santa Hahaha
Nephew's Letter To Santa
Mom Busted Out A Box Of Old Santa Letters Today - Looks Like My Career As A Smartass Began At A Young Age
This Is The Letter My Niece Sent To Santa. She's 7
Jeremy Has A Problem With His Gifts. And With His Nerves As Well
My 9 Year Old Brother's Note To Santa, Signed By The Man Himself
Addisyns Letter To Santa!! Cutest And Funniest Thing I've Ever Read!
I think this is a winner, the part about the baby peeing in her mouth is too sweet, plus I love the name Addisyn!
What I Want For Christmas This Year Is...
How To Make Sure Santa Is Real, 8yo Logic
Sounds Reasonable
1993 Letter To Santa
I Present My Co-Worker's 10-Year-Old Nephew's Letter To Santa
Are we not going to talk about the fact he asked for a body pillow?
Dear Santa
A Pair Of What?
It took me awhile, but I think it's 'tights'...'ripped tits' took me to a bad place. :-/
Oh, And Just An Easy $25,000
I Can't Make This Stuff Up! This Is My Nephew Christmas List
He Was Told To Write A Letter To Santa
If Anyone Is Having Trouble Getting Into The Christmas Spirit... Here’s A Letter To Santa Written By One Of My Students
Dear Santa...
Couple Things For Christmas
i think this kid wants a pet. i dunno... maybe a cat or dog.. i cant tell >u<
A Christmas Card From My Little Sister
My Eldest Son Wrote A Letter On Behalf Of My 3yo. It’s So True. He’s Been Asking How Long Until Christmas Since January
Wishlist To Santa
Coworker's Daughter's Letter To Santa. Clearly Not Afraid To Ask The Tough Questions
My Daughter's Letter To Santa
My Teacher Found This Note To Santa In Her 8-Year-Old's Bedroom
Santa Letter
My Sister Just Walked In & Handed My Parents Her Christmas List. Don't Know If I'm Scared Or Impressed
My Friend's Nephew Wrote A Letter To Santa
Instead Of Asking For Toys This Year, My Kid Wrote A Motivational Letter To Santa. "Dear Santa, I Think That You Should Be A Lot More Skinnier So On The Back Side There Is A Picture Of You Being Skinnier"
High Importance Questions From Olivia
Came Across A Good Letter To Santa While I Was Volunteering Tonight
Cousin's Letter To Santa
My Daughters Christmas List To Santa
My Kid Is Pretty Amazing
King Of The North?
Walmart Gold Digger
French Fries, Computer And A Chicken Nugget
Please Read This Letter My Brother Wrote To Santa When He Was 7
Letter To Santa From 12-Years-Old
Quite Scary
And Here Is Some Fruit Salad And Water To Help Your Type 2 Diabetes
My Christmas List When I Was 7
I like how he throws in the picture of a girl - at the end and in very small letters. Not creepy AT ALL.
Something For My Community, Like... McDonalds
My Niece's Letter To Santa. At Least She Asked For His Permission!
If You Know Where My Black Leggings Are Please Write Back
Letters To Santa About Krampus
Well That About Sums It Up!
Going Through The Letters At Work Before We Send Them Off To Santa
I Was Almost 3 Years Old, Had My Grandma Write It, And Didn’t Quite Know My Holidays Yet
We Printed 600 Santa Letters In The Paper This Year, And This Is One Of My Favorites. The Three-Ring Binder Kills Me
All Little Jerry Wants Is A Bulldog, A Science Kit And A 'Porthole' To The Pokemon World
I Wish I Was Eating The Cookies
My 10 Year Old Son's Christmas List. I May Come Up A Little Short On Some Of These
Dear Santa, I Flushed My Brothers Head In The Toilet But Can I Have A Puppy
In Case You're Having A Bad Day, Here's My 3 Year Old Sister And Her Christmas List
The Jig Is Up "Santa"
My Sister Is A Children's Librarian. She Sent Me This Picture Of A Letter They Got In "Santa's Mailbox."
My Nephew's Christmas List
"A Baby Jesus To Sleep With, Not A Real One"
Skye's Letter To Santa. I Don't Think You Are Fat
Dad, Take This Down
This Is A Letter My Little Terror In Class Wrote To Santa While I Was Out On Friday. It Says: I Know That Santa Is A Fraud! Now I Want That Elf Gone!
This Year Big One Claims He's "Going Simple". Where Did He Get That
Hope I Didn't Give You Too Much Whiskey
Life Is Simpler Aged 2,5
At Least The Kid Is Honest
And Please Give Me Some Money This Is My 6-Year-Old Sister's Christmas List
"I Believe In You More Than Hanukkah"
My Sons Note To Santa. "All I Want Is My Two Front Teeth"
My Mom Found This This Summer From Me To Santa. I Would Have Been 9 Years Old When This Was Written, And I Guess Blackmail And Being “Santa’s #1 Fan” Were Good Ways To Get Major Presents
My Sisters Letter To Santa This Year
My 6-Year-Old Wrote A Note To Santa
Finn Asked For Everything And He's Not Kidding. Every Time We Are In A Store He Actually Wants Everything He Sees
Dictated Letter To Santa. "I Want Santa To Eat All Of Our Cookies. Yep. Because That's What I Said! Um, I Want Santa To Eat Something Else When His Cookies Are Gone..."
Plot Twist, I Think She Knows I'm Really Santa And Is Now Way Ahead Of The Game
We Wrote Letters To Santa!!
She’s Certainly Qualified - A Whole Half Hour!
This Year At Work I Organized Letters To Santa.... This Kid Is Going To Be Pretty Mad When Santa Doesn't Come Through
Has this kid been watching the Squatty Potty commercials?
Santa And I Are Going To Have A Serious Talk About My Daughter
I Want To Impress The Boys
My Fiancé's Letter To Santa When She Was 6 (Said She Got It)
My Little Sister Left Santa A Note..
Maybe I Should Be Concerned...?
Carter's List. I Love His Breakdown Of Stocking Vs. Actual (Expensive Year)
Hahahahahahhaha Seriously Still Laughing At This
Obsess Much?
The Letter Is Off To The Big Man!
The Finished Product
The Fun Begins... It Must Be An Inside Joke Between Her, Santa, And The Elf
I Love That The Teacher Had To Interpret This Little Girl’s List For Santa
Josiah’s Letter To Santa. Translation: ‘Don’t Worry. I Will Make Sure There Are Carrots For Blitzen’
Old Letter To Santa My Mom Found
My Daughter Learned Santa Wasn’t Real This Year. Just Got Her Christmas List
"Dear Santa, I Want 13 Million Dollars" - Well, Christmas Is Going To Be Very Disappointing For Him This Year
I Think Sarah Is Feeling Older Than She Is
Today We Wrote A Letter To Santa. I Think Someone Is A Bit Obsessed With Moana
Santa Has Been Responding To Some Kids That Need An Attitude Adjustment
I Love Presents And I Love Toys
He drew the Burl Ives version of Santa--how talented-seriously! He must have seen the Rudolph show. Wow!
My 3 Year Old Son’s Letter To Santa
"Merry Christmas, please bring me presents. Santa, please bring me toys" sounds like the start of a Christmas poem.
Here's A Batch Of My Favorite Letters In The Paper This Year. I Don't Cry When I Do My Chores
I'm baffled at all these super expensive wishes. iPad, PS4, Apple watch...Most folks would have to save up for all of this for a whole year where I live. I was a kid in the 80's and I wished for books and lollies... still do actually...
I have three sons. The oldest son always had a pretty normal list, one of my twin sons asked for the most expensive things he could think of and his list would be so long it was ridculous and the other twin would write such a short list I would have to encourage him to make it a little longer. You would think all three had been raised by different parents!
seems al lot of these are from 2013 - like Ryan asking for Santa to stop his sisters bullying https://search.yahoo.com/search;_ylt=AwrJ7Jpz9kxaH2sAExBXNyoA;_ylc=X1MDMjc2NjY3OQRfcgMyBGZyA21jYWZlZQRncHJpZANma2tmOVdwclQ2eWRrZnp6R1hQeUFBBG5fcnNsdAMwBG5fc3VnZwMwBG9yaWdpbgNzZWFyY2gueWFob28uY29tBHBvcwMwBHBxc3RyAwRwcXN0cmwDMARxc3RybAM4MQRxdWVyeQNsZXR0ZXIlMjB0byUyMHNhbnRhJTIwZnJvbSUyMFJ5YW4lMjBmb3IlMjBraWRzJTIwdG8lMjBzdG9wJTIwcGlja2luZyUyMG9uJTIwQW1iZXIEdF9zdG1wAzE1MTQ5OTMyODg-?p=letter+to+santa+from+Ryan+for+kids+to+stop+picking+on+Amber&fr2=sb-top&fr=mcafee&type=C211US0D20160905
I'm baffled at all these super expensive wishes. iPad, PS4, Apple watch...Most folks would have to save up for all of this for a whole year where I live. I was a kid in the 80's and I wished for books and lollies... still do actually...
I have three sons. The oldest son always had a pretty normal list, one of my twin sons asked for the most expensive things he could think of and his list would be so long it was ridculous and the other twin would write such a short list I would have to encourage him to make it a little longer. You would think all three had been raised by different parents!
seems al lot of these are from 2013 - like Ryan asking for Santa to stop his sisters bullying https://search.yahoo.com/search;_ylt=AwrJ7Jpz9kxaH2sAExBXNyoA;_ylc=X1MDMjc2NjY3OQRfcgMyBGZyA21jYWZlZQRncHJpZANma2tmOVdwclQ2eWRrZnp6R1hQeUFBBG5fcnNsdAMwBG5fc3VnZwMwBG9yaWdpbgNzZWFyY2gueWFob28uY29tBHBvcwMwBHBxc3RyAwRwcXN0cmwDMARxc3RybAM4MQRxdWVyeQNsZXR0ZXIlMjB0byUyMHNhbnRhJTIwZnJvbSUyMFJ5YW4lMjBmb3IlMjBraWRzJTIwdG8lMjBzdG9wJTIwcGlja2luZyUyMG9uJTIwQW1iZXIEdF9zdG1wAzE1MTQ5OTMyODg-?p=letter+to+santa+from+Ryan+for+kids+to+stop+picking+on+Amber&fr2=sb-top&fr=mcafee&type=C211US0D20160905