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We could probably all benefit from looking at life with a little bit more childlike wonder. Kids are curious about everything, and they’re constantly using their little brains to make sense of the world around them. So inevitably, from time to time, their reasoning leads to some hilarious outcomes.
Redditors have recently been sharing some of their favorite examples of “kid logic,” so we’ve gathered the best ones below. From believing sugar can make the ocean less salty to assuming your pillow isn’t working if you can’t fall asleep, enjoy reading through these adorable and hilarious thought processes, pandas. And be sure to upvote the “kid logic” that you think makes perfect sense!
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#1
I was fly fishing a popular canoeing river when two middle school aged kids came paddling down ina rented canoe. They got turned 180 degrees in an eddy and instead of trying to turn their whole canoe back around they just turned around in their seats and started paddling downstream again. Most adults would try paddling back around but this was by far the more efficient way to handle it
Adnaan Sabireen 1 year ago
But this is not a situation of "Kids Hilariously Misunderstand Simple Concepts", more like 'Kids geniously implement a simple concept. Or something like that.
Stannous Flouride 1 year ago
The seats in a canoe are not equally spaced. The rear seat is very close to the back and usually doesn't have room for feet & legs. (see picture) The front seat also serves as a single person canoeist seat facing the other direction. 34020-1352...6ace7b.jpg 
Phyzzi 1 year ago
I have certainly seen more that can't be reversed than can, but especially the rental ones tend to be built to be front/back agnostic.
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RELATED:
#2
My sister has two children, ages 3 and 1. I had my first child in September so my nephews now have a cousin.
The three year old insists that it is only his cousin, since he is the oldest and his younger brother will have to wait for the next one before he gets a cousin of his own.
The Mom 1 year ago
When I had my 3rd child my oldest (3 at the time) told me I had to have another one for the 3rd child. Number 2 belonged to numerous 1 but 3 didn't get one.
Huddo's sister 1 year ago
Well, my mum insisted on having another child 'for the youngest to play with' because there was a 7 year age gap with the next youngest, so it sort of fits.
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Yayheterogeneity 1 year ago
My daughter was so upset with me that her best friend was a little older than her. She couldn't grasp the fact that I hadn't planned her birth with her friends mother nor that I even knew her before. Amused me very much
Adnaan Sabireen 1 year ago
Hope "the next one" is coming soon. The poor little fellow needs "a cousin of his own".
Jaime Muir 1 year ago
The toddler seems to be a little possessive in that regard to the cousin
#3
When I was a little girl, I had a Barbie and a Ken doll. I wanted more Barbie and Ken dolls. I put them in a shoebox together, naked, and pushed it under the bed so they could make more dolls. I had no idea how close I was to knowing how babies were made.
Tanja J 1 year ago
I tried to do this with my car and my husband's car, put them together in the garage, put some mood music on, closed the door, turned off the lights ... I would have been happy with at least a scooter, but it didn't work.
Anna Solan 1 year ago
If they aren't the same make and model, they can't cross-breed. If they are the same make but not model, you could get a hybrid car, though!
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Surenu 1 year ago
I would think so. I don't remember getting "the talk" (disclaimer: me not remembering something doesn't mean it never happened, I am not infallible unfortunately), I think I figured it out somehow
Load More Replies... Catharina Geerts 1 year ago
You must have had some idea that it involved a man and a woman naked in bed, otherwise you wouldn't have put them there like that. Which is more than I knew until I was at least a first grader
Jane Hower 1 year ago
Mom was explaing 'babies' to me at around age 11 and what I got was that a seed from the dad went to the egg of the mom and a baby was made. With nothing else to go on I thought the SEED literally FLEW, at night, into the mom's egg. Sure made me keep my bedroom door closed at night!!! whew
Vicki Perizzolo 1 year ago
I did that to my GFs Christmas trolls one year - got her a baby troll for effect on Christmas Eve ... she got to work and, for the 5th day in a row screamed 'who is messing with my trolls?'... laughed so hard I bout peed myself... a great year.
#4
Leaving the daycare center, a kid called back, "BYE-BYE! Be safe, watch out for polar bears!"
We are not in polar bear territory, but polar bears live in the snow, so since it snowed earlier in the day, it was only logical that we were at elevated polar bear risk.
Stannous Flouride 1 year ago
And yeti grew up to know better, right? (sorry, I'll show myself out)
Load More Replies... Zaphod 1 year ago
My grandma was a tough lady. She said that she only feared 2 things: The Spanish Flu and "isbjörn" (polar bears)
Phyzzi 1 year ago
Fortunately my exposure to those two things is low, but if it were even a smidge higher, well, they wouldn't be the only thing I am afraid of, but they would make the list.
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#5
When I (white) was a kid, my best friend (black) was floored to learn white peoples’ poop was brown. He’d just assumed ours was white.
Stargazer Lily 1 year ago
When I (white-redhead) was 4, my best friends were brother and sister (black). I thought that if I could get enough freckles, I would have beautiful caramel colored skin like they had instead of the salami coloring that I had. Boy was I disappointed and sunburned! 🥺
#6
When I was really little our preschool class grew beans in a window and my little brain decided that all food must be grown from seeds. Long story short my mom found about 15 chicken nuggets in her flower bed when she was planting tulips.
The Other Ben 1 year ago
It does...but you don't want to know what grows from it
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Deborah B 1 year ago
Yeah, I planted my jellybeans, on the understanding that they were "beans" and would grow like the beans we planted at preschool. Very disappointed four-year-old.
Mary Peace 1 year ago
Logical if you had read about Jack and the beanstalk!
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Vicki Perizzolo 1 year ago
a fave Garfield cartoon is him waiting at a flower pot having planted 'bird seed'.
#7
My daughter was having trouble falling asleep and came to me crying that her pillow didn’t work
HTakeover 1 year ago
My niece: "I can't sleep because there's a bug at the neighbors house." "...because my sister is breathing and she normally doesn't breathe when she sleeps." "... because there's a house in that new neighborhood that doesn't have people yet." All fixed by the magic white pill... aka marshmallow.
#8
I remember a story of an astronaut going to give a talk in a school and one kid asked him "how do I become an astronaut?" and the astronaut replied "you have to go to school for a very long time and then train your body and mind and then pass a test. its very hard" and then the kid replied "thats like only 4 things!". Changed my outlook on life haha
Dim T 1 year ago (edited)
I mean yea if you explain it like that it sounds east but it ain't. You can describe even nuclear friction this way
Phyzzi 1 year ago
Nuclear friction? I think I need that explained to me and I have a physics major.
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Phyzzi 1 year ago
*scratches head* what astronaut would Neal Armstrong be asking a question of when he was a boy? I mean, not even Yuri was an astronaut at that point.
Load More Replies... #9
Maybe not best but recent: My coworker’s kid lost a tooth yesterday, and the kid said he was going to wait until Sunday to put his tooth under the pillow so the Tooth Fairy can meet Santa lol
glowworm2 1 year ago
Sounds like a meet cute to me where Santa is widowed.
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Bill Swallow 1 year ago
Show that child the wonderful animated movie 'Rise of the Guardians'. Santa, Easter Bunny, Tooth Fairy, Sandman, and Jack Frost team up to save the world from the Boogeyman, Pitch.
Bill Swallow 1 year ago
Then a few years later, introduce them to Discworld and show them the live action production of Hogfather.
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#10
My husband was working at a child care center and his car was in the shop so he needed a ride. When I arrived to pick him up, one of the children who was also getting picked up asked if I was his mom. Because that's who picks up people from day care, moms and dads. Makes perfect sense using kid logic.
Bouche and Audi and Shyla, Oh My! 1 year ago
I took a personal day while I worked at a daycare. I told the children I wouldn't be there the next day, because my mom was coming over, and I needed to clean the house. When Karly's mom picked her up, Karly said, "Teacher can't come to school tomorrow. She has to clean her room. Her mommy's making her."
Tammy Malone 1 year ago
My mom had remarried, to a much older fellow. She, about 50. He, about 75. My mom steps out to their car to grab something. My daughter, then 3-4 yrs old, follows after her, yelling.....you forgot your daddy!!!!! That was a laugh!
Sue Hutchinson 1 year ago
I have had this from 2 different sides. When my son was young, my mom used to attend all the parent events because I had to work. One child came into the room, looked at my mom, and loudly exclaimed "Whose mom is that?". I married a man 17 years younger (second marriage for both of us). Many children .. and some adults .. have made comments about me being his mother.
#11
My grandparents' old trailer had ants. I wanted to help and knew they liked sweet things, so I added a bunch of sugar to some juice and made a trail from the house to an ant hill to lead them out. It did not have the desired effect.
Magnifico Giganticus (it) 1 year ago
I'm a fan of hypotheses that don't work out but are clever anyway.
Marie-Pier Plourde 1 year ago
i had a friend (she was six) who just enjoyed watching the ants, so she wold make trails of honey from the kitchen to the backyard. (i was seriously worried, being an 8yold very informed on many many things,) so i finally told my mom, who then brought it to her dad. we then learned that they had an ongoing ants problem for a few years now, couldn't figure out where it was from and several exterminators had been to the house per years... so yeah. she god grounded and honey was taken to the high shelf.
Jane Hower 1 year ago
My dad bought his first car, probably used, when I was about 4. So I wanted to polish it and used sand. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
#12
When I was 15, I used to babysit this lovely kid called Jack.
He would very proudly tell people "I'm three!" And hold up three fingers. One day, I asked him how old did he think I was? He gave this very careful consideration.
"26." He said firmly.
"Why do you think I'm 26?" I replied, mildly offended.
"Mummy looks after me and she's 26. You look after me too."
Fair enough!
Mary Peace 1 year ago
If looking after children makes you stay at 26, it becomes a very attractive career (to someone now over 60!)
Huddo's sister 1 year ago
Kids are often surprised when they ask my age and it is similar to their parents, because they know I don't have kids
#13
A toddler I was watching stood next to a tree. He then licked the bark of the tree the way a dog would lick an ice cream cone: full blown, no inhibition. Shocked, I asked him why licked the tree, and he said, "I didn't know what it tasted like." He caught me so off guard, so all I could say was, "you know what, that's fair. " I asked him if he liked it. He said, no, no he did not.
Phyzzi 1 year ago
No, he knows that part of that tree's bark doesn't have a good flavor.
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Meep Monstare 1 year ago
When I was in second grade, we went on a nature hike and were told to experience nature with all five senses. I asked my teacher if I could lick a tree and she said yes. About four trees later she told me to stop.
Amy Pontious 1 year ago
I had a boyfriend who ate a caterpillar I asked him why he did he said it was gross and because he could!
Tigger O 1 year ago
I used to do that (taste or otherwise try out things) when I was a kid. Still do - and I'm 77. So much still to learn, so little time left to learn it all ....
Phyzzi 1 year ago
So... no nuts or maple syrup of cinnamon or root beer for you?
Load More Replies... #14
I had just birthed my daughter via C-section. My toddler son saw my incision, and concluded that his baby sister had busted through my stomach like the Kool-Aid man.
glowworm2 1 year ago
Imagine watching that with a child (please don't actually do that) and telling them that that's how babies show up when the chestburster comes out.
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Ann Si 1 year ago
I was delivered by a c-section myself and as a child i thought if a couple wants a child they'd go to a hospital, choose a baby doll that would be inserted in the woman's womb, and after 9 months it came to live, got some of the characteristics of the parents, and would be taken out again
VirtualJess 1 year ago
Another question: y'all drink Kool-aid? I thought child services came and dragged you out of the house by your hair if you serve Kool-aid to children these days
#15
I desperately wanted a kitten when I was younger. Every time we went to the grocery store, I'd try and sneak cat food into the shopping cart, thinking that if we got home and unpacked it, we'd *have* to go out and get a cat.
EasyBreezyCataneze 1 year ago
This is like the Malcolm in the middle episode. We have a cat tree , now we must get a cat. 'cat-mun-du'
glowworm2 1 year ago
According to the OP on Reddit, they now have two cats.
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Philly Bob Squires 1 year ago
Next time, just leave a box out... they are the perfect cat traps!
Rigor Moreno 1 year ago
If my Mom found out I did that, guess who's eating cat food for dinner! :D
#16
My kid as a toddler invented the word “nexterday” because she knew “yesterday” and “next” but not “tomorrow”.
Bill Swallow 1 year ago
Because English is bizarre and perverse. It follows other languages into dark, lonely alleyways, mugs them, and goes through their pockets looking for loose syntax.
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BitchinintheBurgh' 1 year ago
My daughter had " lasterday" Yesterday and last week, night etc.
Debi Schroeder 1 year ago
I work with a lot of people from India (in the US). A lot of them say “yesterday night “ where people from the US say “last night “
Lotekguy 1 year ago
Imagine the Beatles singing "Yesternight. All my troubles seemed so out of sight...". Still scans.
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Nancy Bushman 1 year ago
My sister taught kindergarten and some of the kids referred to yesterday as lasterday!
Astro 1 year ago (edited)
Kids are actually pretty smart when it comes to that stuff! English has so many exceptions but kids tend to pick up on the patterns (which is often why the say “brang” as a past-tense of “bring.” It’s actually smarter than it seems! They’re just recognizing patterns, and the exception of “brought” trips them up. Which I totally understand!)
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Niels Boehm 1 year ago
Oh, I didn't even know that existed in English. As a German, that fills me with joy ("übermorgen").
Load More Replies... Birgit Sommer 1 year ago
My friend's kid, a little overweight, got a bicycle for her birthday. She said it's for "extrasize".
J22 Nol213 1 year ago
My son invented poinky, as in “I have a poinky in my foot, can you get out? It hurts!” I still use this word today for the small stickle burrs that stab you!
#17
Aight so one time my niece was over with my brother and his wife. My niece said “let’s be dragons” so I’m like ok cool this is f*****g awesome.
Here I am in my 50s and get to be a dragon. So I put up my big dragon wings and dragon face and she stopped dead in her tracks and said “uncle guru, you don’t have to pretend to be a dragon you can just BE one. See? I’m a dragon and so are you. Let’s go see dad.”
So we’re just standing there like two humans and she says “we’re dragons” with a shrug of her shoulders like I know it’s obvious but just in case..
So yeah, blew my mind lol
Couragetcd 1 year ago
Does this mean I really did grow up to be a dragon and just never noticed?
#18
When I was about 6 or so, my very religious grandmother offered to buy me something at the church yard sale. There was a Grateful Dead shirt. I wasn't familiar with their music back then, I just liked the color and design. She told me it wasn't proper attire for a Christian. I responded with "Christians go to heaven when they die, right?" She said yes, to which I proclaimed they would then be grateful to be in heaven, and grateful they were dead. The logic didn't work, and I didn't get the shirt. My mom still brings it up and laughs occasionally. As an adult I love the grateful Dead and for my 40th birthday my mom got me a grateful Dead vinyl box set.
Lotekguy 1 year ago (edited)
Shame on granny. Logic like that from someone so young should be rewarded.
Joe Reaves 1 year ago
If it was in the Church yard sale, presumably it belonged to a Christian originally.
Huddo's sister 1 year ago
That's exactly the sort of shirt my siblings, as well as the minister's daughter, used to wear to church. I don't get why some denominations are strict about 'suitable' attire. God sees you all the time, why do you have to dress up for them to worship?
Jane Hower 1 year ago
My very young nephew was asked by my mom, his grandmother, who was taking him to churcn if he wanted to go to heaven? He said NO - I don't know anybody there!!! We got a big kick out of that.
Grace Jolla 1 year ago
Op is actually correct cause as a Christian to live is Christ and to die is gain. (Phil 1 :21) So we are grateful and have peace knowing where we are going after death.
#19
i dont know if this counts, but this kid asked something i never heard anyone ask before: how come Cinderella shoe doesn't change after midnight?
David Martin 1 year ago
I actually do! It's because everything else...dress, carriage, her horses, etc...had been transformed from something else, and thus turned back into their original forms. The glass slippers, however, were created from nothing, simply materializing into the world, and had no form to change back into
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Dubnaught 1 year ago
It always bothered me that the prince couldn't tell her apart from every other girl in the kingdom and had to just bet on no one else having the same size feet as her.. so weird
glowworm2 1 year ago
To be fair, when the fairy godmother warns Cinderella that everything will change back at midnight, she never mentions the slippers. Everything else gets listed off, dress, horses, carriage, footmen, coachmen, but never the slippers. Also, in other versions of the story where Cinderella gets her finery from another source, such as a tree, her mother's grave, etc... the items don't turn back after midnight or whenever she needs to leave, she simply gives them back afterwards.
Elizabeth Brown 1 year ago
The Disney version of the story is specifically based off of the French version. I'm really into the musical Into the Woods, which uses the Brothers Grimm version of Cinderella. Almost every culture has its own version of the story though, I have read a Russian fairy tale of a girl who was allowed to go to church via a fish she chose to save instead of eat
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Anne Jones 1 year ago
Fun fact: the original story was translated into English and the translator mixed up the word for ‘fur’ with the word for ‘glass’. The original story said she had fur slippers. Or so I’m told.
HTakeover 1 year ago
So that's what happened to the other mouse we don't see later.
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Rinso the Red 1 year ago
Because the original story wasn't about a glass slipper? It was a bowdlerization of the original "fur slipper". Which was a euphemism for a woman's lady-parts.
BrownTabby 1 year ago
If that kid asked me that, I’d get a text from their parents asking why they started talking about Watsonian explanations and Doylist explanations at school the next day.
jason a. jones 1 year ago (edited)
a magician's hat is always just a hat. the magic is inside, just like each one of us.
#20
My kid asked to go to the “fish museum.” She didn’t know the word for aquarium, but I’d say she got the concept across pretty well. Now we don’t refer to it as anything else.
EasyBreezyCataneze 1 year ago
Reminded me of another post where they used liquid zoo instead of aquarium
Mary Peace 1 year ago
I like it, well done that kid, but maybe 'fish zoo' would be better, because everything in a museum is dead.
#21
My son once told me he had a brew after he bumped his arm. I said I think you mean bruise. He said that it was a brew because he only had one.
Astro 1 year ago
For real. He was taught plurals have an S at the end so he made a reasonable assumption. Kids are smarter at languages than we think!
Load More Replies... Mary Peace 1 year ago
My cousin (age 4) looked out of the car window and said he liked the 'sheeps' he could see in the field. Mummy said "When there's more than one, we don't say the 's'. He thought about it and said, "Those heeps were nice, Mummy."
#22
When I was a kid we experienced an earthquake. I ran to my mom screaming “the dinosaurs are coming!” I was really into The Land Before Time and whenever the Brontosaurus walked the ground shook so it made sense.
Ambry Petersen 1 year ago
Adorable. I loved those movies growing up. Now I show them to my kids.
Populus tremuloides(they/them) 1 year ago
I love them too, my favorites are journey to the big water and the great day of the flyers
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Vicki Perizzolo 1 year ago
better than knowing the ground is actually moving around and could split into large cracks.. mental image post recent quake here - prefer dinos walking around
#23
So… I have a naturally-low core temp, which makes my skin feel like an ice cube. Youngest Cousin (born 2019) had had a high temp back in 2019, my aunt just handed her to me to have me cool her down by holding her — I became the Baby-Cooling Station. When she decided she needed to cool down at a cook-out in 2021, she shouted, “I GE I PAK!”, toddled-over to where I was napping, grabbed my hand, and just put it to her forehead before shouting, “I GAH I PAK!” when my aunt asked her what she was even doing. EDIT: I just felt like typing-out how she said those two things, since it was super-cute. But, they mean, “I GO GET ICE PACK!” and, “I GOT ICE PACK!”, respectively.
A girl 1 year ago
I share the low core temp. The grandkids lovingly call me Grandma Cold Hands.
Stannous Flouride 1 year ago
We'll call you Grandma Warmheart here then, okay?
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pemdas927 1 year ago
I'm the human heating pad. Used to live in the Chicago suburbs, go run errands all day in the winter time, and my hands would be warm five minutes after wife and I got home. Wife uses my hands for back spasms and sore joints. She says the heat from my hands really help.
April Dancer 1 year ago
Same here. I can't use things like superglue because the heat of my hands causes it to pour out of the tube without even squeezing it.
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#24
I was a student teacher, and bumped into one of my seven-year-old students in the morning. He was walking and told me "I always step over the cracks [in the sidewalk]."
I asked "How come?" and expected him to say something about "So I don't break my mother's back." (That's an old rhyme).
Instead, he said he was "practicing" ... "in case there's an earthquake!"
Huddo's sister 1 year ago
I used to think I had OCD like my brother, because I would purposely walk so none of my steps landed on a crack. Turns out it was actually more of a sensory thing than a 'if I don't someone will die' OCD compulsion.
#25
My husband and I used to have two cats. One cat’s name was just Little Cat.
My 3 year old niece called our other cat “Big Cat” because if there’s a little cat, there has to be a big cat.
And our other cat was pretty big so I couldn’t even correct her.
Astro 1 year ago (edited)
My boyfriend still has 2 stuffed animals from childhood. They’re both stuffed dogs. We call them “brown dog” and “big dog.” Heavily considering naming the two dogs we’re considering adopting the same thing. (Mildly kidding)
Load More Replies... Deborah B 1 year ago
We had Little Cat and Big Cat too. Big Cat arrived first, and originally had a name, but when we got a second cat, we were too slow to pick a name, and so he got called "Little Cat" and it stuck, and thus Maui became "Big Cat".
Kraneia The Dancing Dryad 1 year ago
When I was 5 we had a couple kitties. Mine was gray and white and named fluffy. Because all cats are fluffy when you're 5. My sister named hers ginger. Which was strange because he wasn't red.
#26
I used to wonder why the snow was on top of the mountains if they were closer to the sun
David Shaw 1 year ago
Because the thinner atmosphere at altitude is less capable of holding in heat
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PolymathNecromancer 1 year ago
We had a snowball fight in July once near the summit of Mt. Philips in New Mexico
#27
My niece said that Santa was fat because he was pregnant, and that he was going to give birth to gingerbread men.
TheElementalGod️️ (He/him) 1 year ago
No, he gave birth to an elf. The rest of them are clones, but don't tell Santa I know.
Mary Peace 1 year ago
I won't tell, cos actually I don't get to see Santa now that I'm grown-up.
Load More Replies... #28
High school friend shared that when she was little she thought babies came from Target because she always saw them in the carts when they went shopping at Target. Keep in mind we grew up in the 1970s in Minnesota and Target was were we shopped. There was no Walmart here.
John Dilligaf 1 year ago
according to Calvin's dad (from Calvin & Hobbs) babyies were mail-ordered from Sears. But Calvin was a K-Mart blue light special- almost as good but much cheaper. Calvin's mom was not amused.
Jane Hower 1 year ago
Had a kid who thought his grandmother lived at the airport - because that's where they went to get her and took her back.
Phyzzi 1 year ago
I think it's not so much the land as the town, and I don't think it's restricted to Americans. And I wish things here were cheaper and not entirely focussed on work ethic. Guessing you are from England, though, makes me wonder how the view is from that glass house and whether you will ever learn the result of spitting in the wind even as the rest of us can clearly see that you have been putting in quite the effort in finding out.
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#29
I once fed our VHS player a peanut butter and jelly sandwich because my parents were tired of it "eating" the tapes.
LooseSeal's $10 Banana 1 year ago
Unfortunately, it now has an insatiable appetite for PB&J.
Load More Replies... Tammy Malone 1 year ago
One Christmas season, my 5 yr old daughter had gotten in trouble for sneaking hershy's kisses. (We would find wrappers in the trash can) Weeks later, Christmas day, she receives a VHS movie. She wants to watch said movie. And that's when we discovered her new hiding place for the hershy's kisses wrappers. We were foolish parents to have told how we knew she was sneaking them......lesson learned
Fight Hypocrites 1 year ago
My son was about 8 when we were talking about going to the high school basketball game Friday night. He asked, "Who do we verse?" A little Q&A followed and he showed me the schedule. He knew "vs." was "versus " so he reasoned that "verse" was logical.
Justin Rogers 1 year ago
My first boss of 14 years had a 2 year old when I started at 15 and this kid destroyed a vhs player every other month cramming sandwiches in there and then came DVD players that got bologna in the tray. Finally stopped around 8 when they were weaned and potty trained
#30
A friend's kid cut a big chunk out of his hair, then realized he'd get in trouble, so he carefully laid the hair on his head. It promptly fell off.
Elladine DesIsles 1 year ago
I was once accused of cutting a classmate's hair in class. She had actually cut a hank of hair off herself, leaving about an inch (her hair was past shoulder length) just above one ear. I have no idea if she did it for some other reason and decided to blame me because we were not getting along, or if it was a scheme to get me in trouble from the outset, but I was sitting at my desk across the room at the time and all of the other students were sitting on the floor at the front of the room. There was no reaction to me supposedly crossing the room with scissors and attacking her hair, she just calmly walked up to the teacher with a handful of hair and reported me. She was not the brightest! And she had to live with the evidence of her lie for all to see until it grew back...
Jeanie 1 year ago
Lol, I don't understand getting angry at a kid for this. Especially if it's a humiliating cut. I think my laughter would probably be punishment enough with a: did you learn your lesson? Lol. Hair grows back and I've made enough mistakes with my hair that my kids have witnessed that I really have no room to talk 🙃.
Jane Hower 1 year ago
When I was four I gave my baby brother a haircut right before church. Apparently not a good one and mom freaked out and had to cut a lot more. hehe
Carol Close Taylor 1 year ago
One time, the Red Cross was holding a blood drive in the gym of the grade school my kids attended. So, picture the floor strewn with gurneys and people lying on them covered by sheets. School lets out and the walkers and riders come in to wait for their rides. One kid comes barreling in, screeches to a halt and gasps, “Look at all the dead people”! 317752579_...9cbcf2.jpg 
Geoffrey Scott 1 year ago
Yeah, I got gum stuck in mine once. AbsoLUTEly amazed my Mom figured it out as I never parted my hair to the side before. YUP! cut a chunk out of the bang, figured I could non-chalant it. If any of you are old enough to remember a "Princeton"?
#31
My grandma caught my dad baptizing kittens. He found a hole with standing water and dipped their heads gently back into it, saying, “In the name of the father, the son, and in the hole he goes.”
Skipper Laine 1 year ago
Hey, I realized this sounds almost exactly the baptism prayer the LDS church uses (except they say "and of the Holy Ghost" at the end). It would make sense because during LDS baptisms, they invite the little kids come around to watch. This kid must have just been copying what he saw! Luckily, he didn't fully immerse them like in the actual baptisms. Come to think of it, I'm very curious about baptism processes and prayers in other religions.
Huddo's sister 1 year ago
In the Uniting Church of Australia we don't do full immersion, the minister just dips their hand in the font (which is a much smaller vessel) and then does the sign of the cross on the baptised person with that hand. We do child baptism, where the parents are basically just saying they will bring the child up as Christians, then adult (or teen) confirmations, if they choose to remain part of the church. In Baptist and Exclusive Brethren churches I know they just do full immersion baptisms as adults/teens. Presbyterian, Methodist and Congregational churches in Australia joined together to make the Uniting church, but there are still some Presbyterian and Methodist churches around too, so their baptisms are similar to UCA. From memory, Catholic churches have infant christening, then confirmation at about 8/10 (I think it depends on the diocese), neither of which involve full immersion.
Load More Replies... Astro 1 year ago (edited)
As it says in the post, OP just “dipped their heads gently into (the water).”
Load More Replies... #32
I was around five and my mom explained to me where babies came from, that girls had eggs in their tummies. Went to the doctor shortly after and I’m laying on my back as she pushes on my belly, as doctors do. Cue me moaning and telling her she’s cracking my eggs.
#33
My 5 yo grandson insists the instructions you receive with a Lego set are “the constructions”, and really I’m having difficulty arguing against it.
#34
Not me but a friend.
Her dad was an alcoholic, and would drink as long as he could find more alcohol. So, logically, the best way to get him to stop drinking was to empty the bottles. And the best way to do that? Drink them all with the determination of a 7 year old who wants a sober parent.
David 1 year ago
later in the thread, the person says the the father did go sober and the child ended up fine
Load More Replies... #35
Two of the neighbor kids locked themselves out of their house while their mom went to the store. My kids invited them in, sat them at the kitchen table, gave them a drink and a snack and kept them company until their mom got back. After the kids went home, I told my kids that they had been very hospitable. My seven year old was very indignant. "We were NOT! We were very nice to them. We didn't spit on anybody!"
#36
I used to work as an english teacher at a kindergarden and one of my students told me: “your nails got longer you should tell your mom to cut them.” My mom lives 3500 km away from me in a different country, it was heartbreaking for her to find out about that.
Huddo's sister 1 year ago
Lol I do sometimes get my mum to cut my nails still- usually my toe nails, because it seems to take so much more effort! One of those self-care things I am not so good at.
#37
When I was a kid, my brothers and I came up with "Christmas Adam" as the day before Christmas Eve, because Adam came before Eve.
Papa 1 year ago
That's what the post said. Did you not understand, or am I confused again?
Load More Replies... Amber_Moon 1 year ago
I call shenanigans on this one. It's a Tumblr thing, and a pretty well-known one.
#38
I once bought bubblegum flavored toothpaste for my 4 year old granddaughter. We got home from the store in the early afternoon and she really wanted to brush her teeth because, bubblegum right? I told her she could brush her teeth before bedtime. She thought about it for a few seconds and hit me with, “It’s already before bedtime”. She got to brush her teeth right then and there.
Huddo's sister 1 year ago
I can never find bubble gum flavoured toothpaste in the supermarket anymore. For some reason we only ever used it when we were on holiday as kids. I hate the taste of mint, so would be nice to have an alternative. There is a cinnamon one, but it's organic and I think more 'natural' so is three times the price.
readingthequibbler 1 year ago
I just ordered from hissmile for that reason.
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#39
When I was like three or four years old and my family went to the beach, I stole the little sugar packets from the hotel's breakfast room and emptied them in the ocean, because I didn't like that it was so salty. Edit: typo.
TheElementalGod️️ (He/him) 1 year ago
so much oil has been spilled in the sea that the US government is about to invade
Load More Replies... #40
I once asked my mom what the civil war was like, because it was before i was born, and she was around before I was born. Logic.
Astro 1 year ago (edited)
I understand, I was recently offended that my 50YO mother can’t tell me why Istanbul was Constantinople (she just keeps saying “‘now it’s Istanbul, not Constantinople”) I mean even old New York was once New Amsterdam 🙄 Why’d they change it?
Skipper Laine 1 year ago (edited)
I couldn't say. Maybe people just liked it better that way? (Edit: I should clarify that this is an inside joke.)
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#41
1. Two of my Kindergarten students switched coats and thought that their parents would take the wrong kid home 2. I was talking about the gears on my mountain bike, and my daughter said “My bike is a two-speed: stop and go”
#42
Whenever we went on holiday, and my daughter started seeing Seagulls, she'd say "look, holiday birds!"
#43
When my daughter was 5, she asked me how to spell "zizz." I told her z-i-z-z. She knew that was wrong so she said, "Spell Julie is 5, but don't spell Julie and don't spell 5." She wanted to know how to spell "is."
#44
When my grandson would tell me something that happened in the recent past he would say it happened "yesterday long time ago."
#45
I was very stressed about my mom washing our dog with our shampoo because it said "Not tested on animals."
TheElementalGod️️ (He/him) 1 year ago
Technically, if it says not tested on animals, then it was tested on plants, microbes, or fungi.
#46
My son (around10 at the time) and I were watching "The Lou Gehrig Story" and towards the end of the movie he asked me what sickness did he have and I said Lou Gehrig's Disease. . . after a few seconds my kid said something along the lines of "Well they should have known all along since his name was Lou Gehrig."
#47
We use “Dadu” for grandfather in my language. My dads brother visited from India, he didn’t know what to call him, so he started calling him “more Dadu”
#48
My granddaughter said there are microbes on Mars, and she knows this because her teacher said microbes are EVERYWHERE.
Phil 1 year ago
That absolutely makes sense. Astrobiologist are actually astounded they haven't found any on Mars yet.
Wingsofwrath 1 year ago
Well, if they looked right now they'd absolutely find some, but the problem is it'd be microbes from Earth bought to Mars by the rovers/landers. Even though NASA tries their best to sterilize spacecraft going to Mars, microorganisms are hardy buggers and still some get through, which is why so far they haven't even attempted to search for martian microorganisms yet, because it'd be very hard to make sure the microbes they do find really are from Mars.
Load More Replies... #49
I thought cotton came from clouds, and the colorful cotton you would catch at sunset
joann fielding 1 year ago
I thought that trees made the wind by flapping their branches up and down. I mean, every time they moved, it WAS windy, right? 🙄
#50
In late 2020, my nephew told us he hated the farmers and they should go to jail. Incredibly confused, we asked why. He said he wished they would stop killing people because he wanted to go back to school. After some back and forth, we realized when we’d been saying ‘quarantine’, he didn’t understand the word and decided we must mean ‘corn fields’. 5 year old logic then reasoned that the corn farmers were the cause of lock downs and all the people getting sick. My family still jokes about ‘those damn corn farmers’ anytime something throws a wrench in our plans.
Mat Hall 1 year ago
I can't work out a pronunciation of "quarantine" that sounds even remotely like "corn field".
Natty Tempest 1 year ago
Some of the American accents can just about reach it. Qwurn-teen. Corn-tien. Corn-field. Best guess I can hazard.uch of it hinges on 'I don't know that word, but I know this one, so they must mean this one!'
Load More Replies... #51
I was in a playpark with my kid when she looked way across the square and spotted a figure halfway up a staircase, stopped in mid step, probably an older person resting or something. My daughter announced "That person's run out of batteries." Now that I'm a good deal older myself I appreciate that description more every time I climb a flight of stairs.
#52
When my oldest was 2, he was obsessed with peanut butter M&M's. One day he was eating some and proudly declared that he knew where peanut butter came from. To get peanut butter, you simply crack open peanut butter M&Ms like an egg, and scoop it out.
Jack Smith 1 year ago
peanut butter M&M's? yeah, that's a thing. my mom and my sibling love them.
Load More Replies... #53
I was one of many kids who thought musicians played live in the radio station when you heard their songs on the radio
BrownTabby 1 year ago
I thought that when they made a movie where the characters age, they just waited for the actors to get older.
#54
My grandson helped me bake a birthday cake for his grandpa. He and I mixed it, baked it, let it cool, HEAVY SIGH! We frosted it and decorated it, sprinkles anyone? He wanted to have cake right away. I explained we had to sing Grandpa happy birthday. I'm thinking after birthday dinner. My husband had just got home from work and was in the shower. Grandson knocks on the bathroom door and proceeds to sing the birthday song as loud as he could. He then runs to the kitchen to announce grandpa got his birthday song! Let's eat cake! He was 3.5 years old!
#55
My 3-year-old couldn't think of the words "butter knife” and instead called it a “butter cutter”. That’s what we call it now.
#56
When I was 7, I figured out Santa was a myth because I noticed my stocking was full on Christmas Eve - *before* he was scheduled to arrive. AHA!
realenancy170 1 year ago
My brother who is two years older made me believe in Santa a little longer. I expressed doubt to him, he told me he had actually seen Santa eating the cookies we left out. That was so sweet for a 9 yr old to do for his sister!
Astro 1 year ago (edited)
That is pretty cute 😊 sounds like he wanted to keep some magic alive for you!
Load More Replies... Huddo's sister 1 year ago
I can't remember how I worked out about Santa, but I knew the Easter bunny wasn't real because the Easter baskets we got one year, when we were on holiday with my grandparents, had our names written in my grandma's handwriting.
#57
About 30 years ago I was a coach on a swim team. One of the kids I coached was named Bryan, age 4. Bryan was super close with a 17 year old girl Tamica. She was on the team and was good friends of the family. Well one day Bryan saw Tamica hop in her car and drive home after practice. He ran to his mom and asked “Mommy, is Tamica married?” She said “No Bryon why would you think that?” He replied “Cause she drives a car”. We all had a good laugh because in his experience only married people (his parents most likely) drove cars.
Rahul Pawa 1 year ago
I'm stuck on the ages of the people in this story. So a 4 year old and 17 year old are friends? and on the same swim team?
Jeanie 1 year ago
Could depend on country or like town size. There are some towns here in America that are so small they have one school for all ages. If that's the case, then it would make sense that the swim team would essentially be made up of all ages. Or it could be a swim school for all ages that maybe does swim competitions with other swim schools. Lots of ways this could be the case is my point, lol
Load More Replies... #58
Towels can’t get wet because they dry things. You have to stay away from trees in lightning storms because wood conducts electricity. You say thank you when someone has done something for you, so if you ask someone to do something and quickly say “thank you” they have to do it because they already got the thank you.
#59
cutting a pizza into 8 slices instead of 6 means more pizza
Astro 1 year ago
It’s the whole 1/3 pound burger vs 1/4 pound burger thing again. Some people really think cutting something into 3 pieces means less food than if you cut the same thing into 4 pieces. Basic intelligence is so underrated right now, I actually get so turned on by smart people because they’re so rare.
Load More Replies... #60
I was in college when my son was little but he always referred to it as my job. I told him I was going to school, he even had to come with me a couple of times, but he wasn't having it. His logic was that school is for kids, you can't be mom and a kid, so it must not be school.
#61
One day, when my daughter was around five, I was sitting in the living room reading when I saw her out of the corner of my eye peering around the corner from the hallway at me. Then she runs full tilt from the hallway, through the living room, into the kitchen. She comes out of the kitchen and asks me, "Daddy, could you see me?" She thought if she ran fast enough she'd be invisible.
#62
When I was a kid I once asked my Mum how many days there were in a year and when she said 365 I asked if that was how many people there were on the planet because I assumed everyone had their own individual birthday… I guess I forgot twins existed.
#63
I had broken up with my boyfriend but had gotten back together and my nephew was asking about my relationship status when he was about 4. "So are you... broken down?" Totally logical as down is the opposite of up!
#64
My younger sister once said to my mother, "Mum, how old were you when Jesus was a child?"
#65
"I don't want to live on Earth, because Earth is in space, and space is dark, and I'm afraid of the dark."
Wingsofwrath 1 year ago
I'd also like to move but the choices are rather limited in the Solar System at the moment...
Load More Replies... #66
When I was little I thought that since AM was morning and PM was afternoon, then ZM must be night!
#67
Mine is my logic because I was a child genius. When I was a wee little one I wasn't able to say my brother's whole name nor could I say "brother" so I always called my older brother "Broth". When I was 5 or 6 I was in our garage with my friend and we found a can of orange spray paint. Obviously, this means it's time to go spray paint some curse words! Our garage went to an alley, next to the door on the pavement I sprayed out "a*s". Out on the pavement on the side of the garage I sprayed out "damn." I was killing it. But wait! I think, my parents are for *sure* going to know this was me right? 💡❗️ I come up with the *perfect. plan.* I go *inside* the garage, right next to where the passenger would get out of my mom's car when it was parked, and sprayed "Broth did it" 🤦🏻♂️ my mother still tells this story more than 25 years later.
Papa 1 year ago
Like the old joke about the little brother and sister who had just learned some new words, and when the mother asked the little boy what he wanted for breakfast he said "I'll have some of those damn Cheerios." Of course he got into trouble for saying that. The mother next turned to the little girl and asked her what she wanted. "You can bet your a*s I don't want Cheerios!"
#68
closing their eyes makes them invisible
#69
i thought jesus was buried in the cemetery in our city, didnt know too much bible lore back then.
#70
The sink in my classroom was broken so we had some people come in to fix it. One of my kids referred to them as "lookers". When I asked why, he said "because they look their faces into the sink".
What do you think ?
GirlFriday 1 year ago
During quarantine, my nephew explained to me all the things one must do to keep the Crona Pirates from finding you: 1. Wear a mask so they don't see you so good. 2. Wash your hands so they can't smell that you ate peanut butter (crona pirates LOVE peanut butter and can smell it from a long ways away, so WASH YOUR HANDS), 3. Stay around your house. Crona Pirates would have to knock on your door if you are inside or playing in the yard, and then we just don't let them in, and they don't get us.
BookFanatic 1 year ago
When my mom was 5 or 6, she saw identical twins for the first time. Family lore has it that she stopped dead in her tracks and yelled "They're wearing the same face!" Grammy had to explain some things to her, which led to The Question (regarding babies and where they come from). This was in the 50s and I really wish I could have heard Grammy's response to that one!
Papa 1 year ago
One of the best ones I've heard of was a father telling his son he had his shoes on the wrong feet. The little boy looked puzzled, and finally said "But these are the only feet I have!"
Papa 1 year ago
ATTENTION ANYONE FROM BORED PANDA WHO MIGHT BE READING THIS: Am I the only one who gets a notification that someone has replied to one of my posts, or liked one of my posts, and I go to check it out, and "Wait! The list has been shortened to just show the most popular!", so the link doesn't work until I click on the note that says that? It's very frustrating. Please either stop making them shorter, or make the link work the first time.
Multa Nocte 1 year ago
I am currently at 711 notifications and it's too much work to pick through them to see which one is a Woohoo!, which one is a Congrats!, and which one is an actual reply to a comment I've made.
Load More Replies...
FABULOUS1 1 year ago
When I was little I remember my mother giving a family with a sign that said will work for food some money on our way home from the store. I was certain she gave them the money so they could come over and clean my room. I waited and waited, and didnt want to ask my mom and seem to eager that I was getting out of cleaning my own room. Finally a couple days later I asked my mother when the family she gave the money to was coming to clean my room. I asked while she was sitting around the table with my aunts. You would of thought they had been at a comedy club, they laughed so hard at me before being reminded my room still had to be cleaned.
BarkingSpider 1 year ago
My daughter once forgot the word for pee and told her preschool teacher she got some of her "body water" on her pants. We had a brief, very confusing conversation at pick up because the teacher thought maybe that was what we called it at home and just casually used it when telling me about the accident. We both got a good laugh at least!
WishIWasAFlapperGirl 1 year ago
My brother (37M) when he was about 3 years old was at a nursery Christmas party. Santa was there seeing the kids and asking them what they wanted for Christmas. It came to my brother's turn, sat on Santa's lap and Santa asked him what he would like for Christmas. To this day none of our family know why he asked for what he asked for and today he is happily in a straight relationship with his fiancée and 2 kids with the same woman. He asked for boobies and a handbag!!!! 3 years old!!!!!
Rhianna Hollowaye 1 year ago
My sisters coined the word 'plumptious' said 'plump-sh-ous' meaning fat, but in the most delightful, complementary, flattering way. Intended entirely as an observation, or a complement, not an insult. An example would be 'i saw a very plumptious pigeon this morning'
GirlFriday 1 year ago
During quarantine, my nephew explained to me all the things one must do to keep the Crona Pirates from finding you: 1. Wear a mask so they don't see you so good. 2. Wash your hands so they can't smell that you ate peanut butter (crona pirates LOVE peanut butter and can smell it from a long ways away, so WASH YOUR HANDS), 3. Stay around your house. Crona Pirates would have to knock on your door if you are inside or playing in the yard, and then we just don't let them in, and they don't get us.
BookFanatic 1 year ago
When my mom was 5 or 6, she saw identical twins for the first time. Family lore has it that she stopped dead in her tracks and yelled "They're wearing the same face!" Grammy had to explain some things to her, which led to The Question (regarding babies and where they come from). This was in the 50s and I really wish I could have heard Grammy's response to that one!
Papa 1 year ago
One of the best ones I've heard of was a father telling his son he had his shoes on the wrong feet. The little boy looked puzzled, and finally said "But these are the only feet I have!"
Papa 1 year ago
ATTENTION ANYONE FROM BORED PANDA WHO MIGHT BE READING THIS: Am I the only one who gets a notification that someone has replied to one of my posts, or liked one of my posts, and I go to check it out, and "Wait! The list has been shortened to just show the most popular!", so the link doesn't work until I click on the note that says that? It's very frustrating. Please either stop making them shorter, or make the link work the first time.
Multa Nocte 1 year ago
I am currently at 711 notifications and it's too much work to pick through them to see which one is a Woohoo!, which one is a Congrats!, and which one is an actual reply to a comment I've made.
Load More Replies... FABULOUS1 1 year ago
When I was little I remember my mother giving a family with a sign that said will work for food some money on our way home from the store. I was certain she gave them the money so they could come over and clean my room. I waited and waited, and didnt want to ask my mom and seem to eager that I was getting out of cleaning my own room. Finally a couple days later I asked my mother when the family she gave the money to was coming to clean my room. I asked while she was sitting around the table with my aunts. You would of thought they had been at a comedy club, they laughed so hard at me before being reminded my room still had to be cleaned.
BarkingSpider 1 year ago
My daughter once forgot the word for pee and told her preschool teacher she got some of her "body water" on her pants. We had a brief, very confusing conversation at pick up because the teacher thought maybe that was what we called it at home and just casually used it when telling me about the accident. We both got a good laugh at least!
WishIWasAFlapperGirl 1 year ago
My brother (37M) when he was about 3 years old was at a nursery Christmas party. Santa was there seeing the kids and asking them what they wanted for Christmas. It came to my brother's turn, sat on Santa's lap and Santa asked him what he would like for Christmas. To this day none of our family know why he asked for what he asked for and today he is happily in a straight relationship with his fiancée and 2 kids with the same woman. He asked for boobies and a handbag!!!! 3 years old!!!!!
Rhianna Hollowaye 1 year ago
My sisters coined the word 'plumptious' said 'plump-sh-ous' meaning fat, but in the most delightful, complementary, flattering way. Intended entirely as an observation, or a complement, not an insult. An example would be 'i saw a very plumptious pigeon this morning'
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