It’s no secret that many people are not fond of Mondays, and today is probably not an exception. But here at Bored Panda, we have something that might make this day just a little bit more bearable, and that—you probably already guessed—is amusing internet content.
Today, we’re focusing on all sorts of funny and relatable X posts, as shared on the ‘I Might Be Funny’ Instagram account. Covering everything from work to parenting and beyond, the posts ought to make you smile, or nod in agreement. So wait not a second longer, scroll down to find them, and turn that Monday-induced frown upside down.
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I like to think of it like the Superman effect. He did not expect to see her there, especially not as a servant girl, since she'd looked like a rich princess. He almost didn't see her at all since the stepmother looked her away when the prince showed up. So I don't think it wasn't that he didn't recognize her, but that he just had no way of knowing who she was, where she lived, or how she looked like normally
Load More Replies...Cinderella never asked for a man. She asked for a dress and a night out.
If the fairy godmother was a real champ, she'd have gifted Cinderella poison to ki.ll her stepmother and stepsisters, bury them under the pumpkins and live her life free of everyone's bullsh*t.
Why remove the stepmom?? Just gift her a house and some money and let her move out and stepmom and her kids would have to do all the stuff themselves.
Load More Replies...Still to this day, the nicest Cinderella-movie I know is "Ever after". Just putting it out here
I like the older " The Slipper and the Rose" . She throws apples at him at first..
Load More Replies...Cinderella was a city girl. Snow White was the one with the woodland animal pals.
Your, uh, your heart did that, huh? You might want to get that looked at. 😉
Load More Replies...Now she will make a great politician. Find out what your constituents need and get it for them cheerfully.
She would be destroyed by the unscrupulous ones and doesn’t deserve that :(. (Edit: finished post)
Load More Replies...Tooooo sweet! 💗 Bless her heart — and it/she had a name to boot! ✨The innocence.
And parents hadn't thought about it? Or did they just forgot they had a daughter too???
Both my kids (12 and 6, respectively) love Minecraft, and they love playing together. For that reason, it's the one digital thing I don't put time limits on.
This reminds me of the time I found one of the 5 packs of Hot Wheels my brother bought himself with hs own money on my bed. I had been really upset I couldn’t have one as I’d spent my allowance already. My brother did something to make me feel better and it meant a lot to me. That night we played together on his rug that looked like a city. We used to play Xbox together too.
“Have to catch an early train, got to be to work by nine
And if I had an aeroplane, I still couldn't make it on time”
sang The Bangles in their iconic ’80s song about the manic Monday, summing up the sentiment many of us are well familiar with. Waking up on Monday morning, we might refrain from singing, but we, too, “Wish it was Sunday.”
While it likely comes as no surprise, data suggests that for most people, Monday is the most hated working day of the week. A 2023 research paper carried out by Zety found that as much as 41% of respondents put Monday at the top of the list as the most hated workday, followed by Wednesday, Tuesday, Friday, and Thursday, respectively.
Might be the times we’re living in but kindness just gets me every time, it’s the thing that makes me tear up. It’s as if every act of kindness is the best form of rebellion, and the only thing likely to save us in the long run.
A coworker of mine used to carry around tea bags for me. We work on trains and in the past we only had two kinds of tea, one I didn't like very much. However much I kept telling her if anything I should carry around my own tea she kept keeping some in her bag for me.
I sell cheap stuffed animals and purses, so I'm conflicted
Load More Replies...Politicians really do try to hard. Keep your laws out of my body, and give me pockets. Done.
I have bought men’s L*vi’s jeans and women's L*vi’s and only recently have they started making pockets we (women) can actually carry something in on the women’s line. Men’s L*vi pockets are huge and go way down (probably for b&ll scratching, I dunno).
Load More Replies...She's got my vote! Those d**n claw machines always steal my money....
I'm a 45 year old male and I would vote for this platform. Pockets are great, and shouldn't be gendered!
Amen Peter! It is thrilling when I get a dress that has pockets, and useable pockets, with volume for whatever stuff!
Load More Replies...I would 100% vote for her! Do we have to wait until shes 35....??
According to the aforementioned research, the main reasons for hating Mondays are experiencing the heaviest workload of the entire week, having loads of meetings, often including a report meeting with the boss, and feeling the least motivated and productive.
These reasons also likely add to why as much as 80% of respondents say that Mondays are the most stressful day of their week.
Can confirm: before he turned 15, my kid threw up in my favorite bar (unknown food allergy) and been brought home in a cop car (for his safety, he was not in trouble).
Load More Replies...We had a family member who always said "what?" to any question if he was planning to lie. He was 100% consistent.
My ex used to restate a question every time his answer was going to be a lie. And he did it a LOT.
Load More Replies...I had a boss who was in the habit of ending a sentence with, "I wouldn't lie to you" and eventually I realized that the lady was lying every time she spoke those words!!
If I were a millionaire, I wouldn't be one for very long, because I'd pay cash for a house, and there goes at least half of it. Worth it though.
"If I were" is correct for the hypothetical. Here is just one reputable source on the matter (I found many): https://www.rd.com/article/if-i-was-vs-if-i-were/
Load More Replies...For some people, Mondays are so stressful, the dread starts the day before. Known as the Sunday scaries, the anxiety over the upcoming start of yet another week is something that negatively affects not only people’s weekends but their mental well-being, too.
The research found that 8% of respondents always experience the Sunday scaries whenever the weekend is nearing its end. As many people, though, don’t know the feeling at all. One in ten say they get the scaries often, one in five do rarely, and more than half—54%, to be exact—of respondents say they only feel the Sunday scaries sometimes.
The research found that more men than women (14% vs. 3%) have never experienced what such anxiety on Sundays feels like.
Thunderstorms are generally an afternoon into evening occurrence therefore I vote substituting wine for coffee ...
Load More Replies...I've been pining for a screened-in porch for years. I just want to experience the outdoors without being eaten alive my mosquitos 😭
Finally splurged a couple years ago and made that dream happen. It's totally worth it!
Load More Replies...My front porch is one of my favourite places in the world.
My best investment was adding a screen patio to my backyard it is large enough for a couch set and I have a large screen TV hanging. I love sitting out there during rain, when the wind is not to strong.
Front porch, screened in porch, or, wait for it… greenhouse!! 😃 One day, I hope!!
Right!? I'll take all the pictures of her and her food she wants, but can I get an invite to dinner please!
Load More Replies...Are those ... one-time-plastic-plates? Or am I tripping and that's just strange design-choices?
After making all that food, I wouldn’t be mad at her for not wanting to worry about the clean up
Load More Replies...D**n skippy . You want in the photo ? Put on an apron and follow me !
A woman in a book about dog photography from the early 90's said she divorced her husband because she realized that every day he came home from work and kissed the dog and said hi to her. She had loads of dogs in the photo. I think she traded up.
My marriage went downhill after I realized how JEALOUS I was of our dog because of the time and affection my huband gave him. :(
Talking about why so many people find Mondays stressful, Magda Klimkiewicz, senior HR business partner at Zety, emphasizes that for most of them, the day marks the start of a new work week. “This transition from a more relaxed routine to the demands and stresses of work obligations can be difficult. It often also means a drastic shift in sleeping patterns, causing fatigue or other physical and mental symptoms,” she told HDR.
“I believe that this transition is what makes Mondays so stressful. The hatred people feel is therefore rooted in the emotional and psychological challenges of adjusting to the new week rather than any inherent qualities of the day itself. It can sometimes also simply be an indication of people not liking their own jobs.”
I purposely sing those incorrect lyrics to my dog haha (she has 7 teeth)
I've seen this in so many parody videos... "dancing queen, peel the meat from the tangerine, oh yeaaaaa"
My sweet daughter would offer to stay home so I wouldn't be lonely. No, PLEASE go with the rest! I wouldn't want you to miss out on the fun...
Load More Replies...This is how I always ask to celebrate Mother's Day. My kids and their dad leave after breakfast and don't come home until dinner (he usually takes them for a hike or something).
My son will take my wife out shopping on Father's Day. "But maybe dad would like to go with us." my wife once said. My son responded (without asking), "he does not." He si not wrong.
Load More Replies...Second of five here. Mom would lock us out of the house on Saturday so she could clean the house. It was the only time she could do it.
Even if you don’t hate your job, the shift in sleeping patterns alone can have quite a significant effect on your well-being or your views towards Monday. Delving deeper into that, Professor-in-Residence in the Department of Psychiatry at UC San Diego, Thomas Rutledge, Ph.D., noted that many people follow a significantly different sleep schedule from Monday to Friday than from Friday to Sunday, which can mess with their internal clock and hormone cycles.
According to the expert, the shift in sleep patterns can affect the levels of cortisol—the primary stress hormone in our bodies—that typically rise one to two hours before a person wakes up for school or work, as well as the levels of melatonin that usually peak in the evenings as the person goes to bed before another day at school or work.
The photo albums are kept next to the digital photo frames and other tech in Target in Australia...
Bad employee training.... had the same thing three days ago trying to explain to a zoomer what a peppermill was. Muppet didn't know pepper wasnt a powder. Honestly almost made me cry.
I had a teen coworker come up to me once and ask in a whisper, "What's a doily?" An elderly customer was looking for one and he had no clue what she meant lol.
I've never seen one for sale. Only remember older relatives having them, and they were all handmade by said relative or friends/family.
Load More Replies...... has it really been that long...? I mean I was born in the 2000s and I know what it is, why do people NOT know?
Adequate exposure to that kind of information... I remember, in the 1970s, a young boy coming to see our Farm from London and saying that their milk came from bottles, not cows.
Load More Replies...I was looking for a jar of relish in Sainsbury's. I asked a young worker where the relishes were and she had absolutely no idea what I was talking about. I suppose if they haven't been a 'thing' for twenty years that's what happens. An older worker and I scoured the shelves with chutneys, (UK) pickles, and table sauces, and couldn't find anything. If you haven't had sweetcorn relish or gherkin relish you don't know what you're missing!
Look for them near stationary or crafts. Some people might think they're for scrapbooks.
Is this the mom who’s in that one pride post with the “free mom hugs” tee shirt?
Hahaha my coworker did something similar with sponges and called herself “self absorbed.”
I've taught my kids that the best way to find anything is to straighten up and clean. 99% of the time, I'm right 🤷♀️
This is a battle I battle everyday. If I wasn't around my wife and daughter would be on the Hoarders.
My wife keeps saying that about me. To be fair half the living room is taken up with boxes of my stuff. But my mom was redoing her house so I lost my free storage and it's not junk it is a library in search of shelves.
Load More Replies...Dr. Rutledge continued to point out that “Many other hormones partly regulated by circadian mechanisms such as estrogen, testosterone, growth hormone, thyroid hormone, insulin, and other appetite hormones all scramble to catch up.
“These hormone cycles have profound effects not only on our feelings of well-being but even on the function of our internal organs. Therefore, when we’re out of alignment with our natural sleep schedules, we become vulnerable to a host of negative physical and psychological consequences.”
Following an “all-over-the-place” sleep schedule, Mondays become difficult to bear, as “our cortisol levels are now peaking during our commute to work and across the morning instead of before waking up. Increased stress and negative affect are the subjective results,” the expert explained.
when I was 15-16, I worked at a childcare at a gym, and kids would always think of me as an adult. I was asked several times if I was married and had children, and they'd be so shocked if I mentioned anything about school or homework.
Load More Replies...Even just being called 'the lady' ages you when you still view yourself as an 18 year old!
I was in a card store looking at the display. Mom next to me said to her little kid, “Don’t walk in front of the lady.” I turned around looking for the lady. Nobody else there. I was 22.
SMFH Ah relativity. I'm reminded of when I was roughly 25, a couple young teenage boys walked past me confirming audibly, 'OLD'.😆 If they could see me now @ 72! LOL
I think when you are around age 10, you cannot really fathom being 12 or 14 or any older age than the one you currently are. Kids don't really think about stuff like that, generally. I remember, decades ago in elementary school, the older kids were graduating to high school, and they were probably around 12 or so, and my 7 or 8-year-old brain thought they were in their late teens, maybe because some of them babysat me, and I just thought adults babysat kids.
Chad dad. I am getting married in less than one month and already married people keep asking me if i am sure that i wanna get married like it's gonna ruin my relationship/my life, then there are the divorcees who feel the need to inform me that they'd never get married again. Good for you, but did i ask? I know they are meant to be jokes, but they are dûmb ones.
Some people are better at sharing the misery than sharing the joy. Don't let it spoil your big day.
Load More Replies...I know in a long relationship there are always things that will annoy us about each other, but when someone only has bad things to say about their SO I wonder why they're still together.
So wholesome, I love this... be with your best friend!!! If you're complaining about them like its someone you don't like, then why are you marrying...? I mean sometimes people have complaints but if you're complaining just to complain then DONT COMPLAIN
I will admit, I will sometimes vent to get frustrations out to a couple close friends so I don’t take them out on my fiancé. But I hate when people start ragging on others who are getting married and trash the whole institution of marriage. There’s nothing wrong about venting about day-to-day frustrations; those are universal. But if your life is so miserable that you need to drag down everyone else with you? Get some therapy and a divorce lawyer.
Load More Replies...Friendship first is going to be a requirement for me being with someone. I have never considered being in a relationship in which I wasn’t friends with the guy first. More importantly, I’m not going to be very close friends with someone who doesn’t share my core values and I wouldn’t expect someone who doesn’t share my core values to want to be close friends with me , either.
Dad wants to live & knew his comment would eventually get to his wife's ears! 👏🙏
My co-worker did the same thing. We bought some fake succulents for the office and I guess they looked a little too real. I never stopped laughing about the day I found her watering them.
I'm allergic to real plants and flowers but I have a ton of very real looking fake ones. So everyone thinks I'm good with plants and buys me real ones as gifts. Which I then accidentally k**l. :) If I can manage it I give them to my mom so they have a chance at life.
Load More Replies...Whether you hate Mondays or not, we all could use a pick-me-up every once in a while. So we hope these posts brought some cheer to your Monday and wish you a productive week. Don’t make too big of a mess with your sleep schedule by the end of it!
When i still lived with my parents i barely left my room, so i would understand if one of my brothers didn't notice me being gone for a school trip.
you didn't eat together? no one would be surprised if you didn't show up for breakfast/dinner for a week?
Load More Replies...My bedroom was in the basement - my sister asked why she does not have many memories of me while growing up; it was a house divided
I feel like I should copy paste the question Power puff scientist asked winterwidow87 here
Load More Replies...That sounds like a conversion between my brother and mom, I stay in my room a lot
I'm sure, the "corporate" felt that blow, even though it was low paygrade clerk, that had to do the tedious work.
Load More Replies...I am surprised you are able to withdraw 10 out of a ATM machine. Most ATM machines where I live the minimum is 20 dollars.
It's the same for me as well
Load More Replies...Lawful Neutral at its best. You want me to play by the rules? I will outplay you at the rules.
Wait is THIS why I have to pay 6 euro every time I want to DEPOSIT money now?!?!?
They charge you to deposit money? You need to find a new bank!
Load More Replies...An old friend of mine worked in a bank in rural Spain back in the 80s. The pensions were paid on the 5th so every 5th of the month the pensioners would come in and ask to withdraw all their pension. They would put it in a brown envelope and give it to them down the the last pesetas. The pensioners would go home, count it and then take it back a deposit it. The reason? Just to make sure it was all there.
I always refer to my daughter’s room as Ikea. You just pop your head in, and come out with cups, saucers, plates, glasses and straws!
I think I might be the only teen who keeps their room pristine. And I share a room with my younger brother, so I have to clean it every day.
I once heard, "You know why grandparents and grandkids get along so well? They have a common enemy." XD
My mum always said if she’d had the choice she’d have had grandkids first
My son's favorite food is hamburgers. Once at a restaurant, when the server brought his burger, I asked him, "What do you say?" Instead of "thank you," he screamed out, "OH, YUM!!!" I figured that went beyond gratitude.
Proper reply: "And I love you too, little Shark. And I hope you have the Happiest Halloween ever!"
I was distributing communion at the rail, and for a special occasion a small boy was there with his family. Gave each person the bread "the body of Christ"... "amen" got to the kid "the body of Christ"... he looked up at me, beamed all across his little face and said "THANK YOU!"
my boy has a mental list of his favorite chicken tenders at various ethnic restaurants.... his favorite was our regular sushi place. they all use pretty much the same Tyson tenders from Sysco ..... grrrrr
I have younger siblings and this is the epitome of under 8-year-old culture
I was so lucky that my two boys always gave everything a chance, the only thing they decided was not for them was boiled carrots. I’ve experimentet a lot in the kitchen and from they were small where they just automaticly opened their mouths when a spoon was nearby and until today where they are 51 and 44 years old, they have enjoyed all kinds of food. They both like boiled carrots today, but the youngest have developed a disgust for cinnamon, and that’s ok.
It's probably religious based camp where they're volunteering for 2 weeks. Building houses garden work that kind of thing
Load More Replies...And here I am, unable to achieve any man to even pick up the phone when I call or answer a message. I just don't understand how can be that easy for everyone to have a friend or a partner. Relationships always require and insane amount or effort, work, and investment and I never have anything in return, human beings are so tiring. I'm so tired of trying to be enough, but im never enough. I can't understand what else need I to do, I just can't figure this out
I’m sorry you’re going through this, Magenta. If I can make a gentle suggestion- maybe you’re trying too hard? I may be off the mark, but you sound like you might be a people pleaser (that’s not meant to be a judgement, just an observation). I know I was one when I was younger, and a lot of my relationships were always very lopsided because I put in SOOOOO much time and effort on my side that the other person really didn’t have to try very hard at all (or didn’t think they did). Invest some of the energy you’ve been putting into others into yourself. People who don’t see your worth are missing out. ❤️
Load More Replies...Is that what the folded ones are called?! That's so cute! Those are my favorite and my moms too, I'll have to tell her this. :)
Load More Replies...*sigh* I want a man who'll save chips/crisps for me. Or, you know, a man, period. 😶
If my true love needs a kidney, she can have both of mine. But it'll be a cold day in hell before anyone gets my folded Ruffles.
We do this with restaurant waffle fries whenever my parents are there, because my mom likes the ones that have potato skins on them :)
Once you get to 10000, you'll realize the magic number is 8 minutes.
Load More Replies..."Reduce heat, low boil for - minutes", gotta remember how long it takes.
For me, it is always " was that 1/4 or 1/3cup milk"
Load More Replies...why do we do that?????????????????? It's butter the cheese packet and some milk....but, nope, gotta look....
What should be taken away from that conversation is that she needs help with all the housework.
After Covid and all the hand washing, I reckon the skin on everyone's hands is going to look ten years older than the skin on the rest of their bodies.
There is no way the skin on my hands could possibly look older than that on my face!
Load More Replies...Nah, go ahead and throw it away, so later you'll be like "Awwww C**p! That's where it goes".
I did that. Threw it away and found weeks later out, that it was a part of the plastic cover of my scale where the battery goes in. Now I use aluminium foil to keep everthin in space 🙄
Load More Replies...We have like three of these drawers in our house, and we never use ANYTHING inside of them XD
Oh so me.....Somtimes I'll be thinking : Well I know the minute I throw it away, I,ll find the place where it came from....
Ran into a nice 7th Day Adventist neighbor of mine with a grocery cart full of alcohol and other party supplies. Yeah, I'm going to hell and no you're not invited to the party.
At first I thought the cart belonged to your neighbor and you had caught them in the act!
Load More Replies...Is that photo from the 70s? That style of desk. That color of orange. Real wood floors, worn by time and people. An actual green chalkboard.
In my day we had blackboards and no-one was offended.
Load More Replies...This happened to me just the other day! Pulled up to the house, neighbors are outside having an Easter egg hunt, so lots of small children got to see us unload two cases of wine. So embarrassing! Btw the wine stock-up is due to tariff madness and assuming that soon European wine will be something we can never indulge in ever again.
I sure would lol - that’s an impressive achievement!
Load More Replies...Someone I know used to do this regularly. His OCD is much more under control now, though!
I call BS on this one. Coupons always say they don't have cash value specifically for this reason.
Now, yeah. God only knows how old the anecdote actually is cuz it used to happen a lot.
Load More Replies...Mr Breakwell is the most inspirational father figure I'm not related to.
Yeah, my best friend, my mum and my sister are all like that! It is mostly fine because it means I don't have to interact with anyone myself.
I have a friend like that 😁 "See that woman over there? She accused me of sleeping with her husband." (After several minutes) "Well, of course I did, but their marriage was already in shambles."
Yup. I'm a terminal introvert who was never 'socialized', as we say about rescue pets, and who has never quite learned how to 'human'. And my best friend (since 1982) and housemate is a raging extrovert.
apparently I am that friend. -_- I was not aware of this until someone pointed it out like 3 years ago.
My younger sister... She knows EVERYBODY IN TOWN. I'm beginning to believe I'm kind of Asperger
This is one of those children that is going to get upset that her tea set doesn't match, isn't it?
You can do Planes, Trains, and Automobiles all inside the Atlanta airport.
As a person who lives in the Atlanta area, and has gone to the airport many times... yes.
The first and only time I was in the Chicago airport, I was flying home after a major bus accident. I had a concussion, recently removed stitches in several places and internal bleeding where no one would see and doctors don't care (apparently if it isnt around organs they just wait for it to stop). I lugged my suitcases, half losing consciousness, all the way across the airport only to be told that they changed the gate and I had fifteen minutes to get across the entire airport. First time I actually weighed the pros and cons of curling up and dying in a public space
Don't they have any transportation within the airport for injured/disabled/elderly? Having used it a few times myself..
Load More Replies...Try Brussels of Schipol - sure you get off the plane walk 15-20min to security - walk same back on a different level and get back on the same plane.
So many complaints about ATL. I walk between concourses, but there IS a regular train.
It's not as bad as the Miami airport. That's not a 5k - that's a marathon.
no s**t.....been there done that.....yikes....and Denver Airport is the same, thanks to United Airlines having a 2 mile long concourse !!!!!
My wife tells me she's saving us money that way all the time, constantly, I'm going broke with all the money we're saving.
it's need vs want. My mother can't grasp that something on clearance is not a good deal if you don't need it
Load More Replies...The clearance rack is full of stuff no one else wanted. Which means it's my shopping list rendered in 3-D.
And not even just for the lower cost. I've found some really good but new-to-me food on the clearance shelves at the grocery store.
Wish groxery stores would do this: once a week, pick a new, non common recipe. Put all ingredients togetger, on sale, with the recipe next to it.
Load More Replies...I have the money I have today because I don't spend excess amounts of $$ when I can get it cheaper on clearance, or even thrifted
Me at Michaels last night: I have everything I came here for. Time to go. Also me: Gotta check out the clearance aisle!
Honestly, work culture has gotten to the point where we need to have a day where we can just do this... or we can just be able to do this on weekends. Maybe not "never contact me again", but maybe just "please wait until 2 days" or smth
Yeah, and what I found is the label lies, it may SAY 10-12 lbs, but it rarely will hold 2-3 before the kid starts crying...ripoff!
I've never been married or had kids, and even I know that's about a week's worth. IF you're *lucky*!
He's almost right... just got the decimal point in the wrong place.
I wasn't around for Picasso (I was born in 82), but I was surprised when Ray Bradbury (my favorite author) died in 2012. I read everything that man wrote and didn't realize he was still alive.
I just bought a copy of "The Illustrated Man" for a barista with lots of tattoos (she absolutely loved it)
Load More Replies...So did Bruce Lee. My Mom had a gym class in college that started right after one that he was in, so he would be leaving just as she was coming in. I was so disappointed that I only learned of this when I was in my thirties, much too late to have told all his fan-boys I knew in junior high, "My Mom went to college with Bruce Lee."
He wrote the twisted kinda sci-fi that I really like!
Load More Replies...Better than "I know you were alive at the same time as Picasso. Didn't you model for him?"
I was 31. Are you related to Bert Droste? St. Elizabeth parish in Crestwood, MO.
Load More Replies...Hey! I was around when Niels Bohr died (1962) and Louis De Broglie (1987) died!
When my daughter as about 7 she asked me if i had to take baths the rivers. she didn't think that in the 80's showers were invented yet
OUCH!!! I never looked that up.....c**p.....I graduated high school in 1972!!!
He was my hero. Gave my useless 7th grade English teacher a verbal slap because she wouldn't let me do a book report on MARTIAN CHRONICLES and I sent him a note and ratted her out. She said it was like doing a book report on a comic book. He defended me but I still lost. Empowered me tho'.
You'll look like a flamenco dancer! https://i.blogs.es/b6ae54/joaquin_cortes/1366_2000.webp
I lost a spelling bee once and I didn't get any candy! Now I'm doubly sad. 😄
I would lose on purpose just to get out of the spelling bee.
I still remember the Grade 5, spelling contest [1974]: I lost my round because I couldn't remember how to spell the word: pickle.
Same. I'll even think about someone else's embarrassment for the next 50 years, or until the rest of my mind finally dribbles out of my skull
I'll bet I'd feel a lot better if my mind dribbled out of my skull…
Load More Replies...Me too but I can't remember anything embarrassing about anyone else.
I'm 45 and still thinking about every weird and awkward encounter all the way back to Les Jours Heureux in Senegal. I don't want to, but my brain like tormenting me with an endless dripfeed of insecurity and angst.
If I was only weird once I will try harder to be weird more consistently moving forward.
believe it, my 5yo lil sis loves green beans and broccoli.
Load More Replies...I seriously doubt a three year old knows about, likes, or will even eat asparagus
Would young sir like to wear a cravatte on the cross country ride?
The kitchen magnet! One person goes into the kitchen. It creates a human magnetic effect that sucks in more humans....sometimes every human and animal in the dwelling ends up puttering around in there. For. Absolutely. No. Good. Reason.
the scale is too big - in our house it's "the square game" where most of the people end up on the same tile.
Why did he son know she was having her period? Is that something she announces?
In a normal family kids often know. I mean, mine still follow me around like a shadow
Load More Replies...I don't know if it was Axe or not (technically could have been as it was mid 80s), but this brings back memories of being on my aircraft carrier in the navy. I had a small office space (glorified vent room) behind the berthing area of another division. Young men, mostly black, airdales (worked on planes). When we were pulling into port and they were getting read to go ashore, the smell that would creep under the door crack was horrific. Basically, think if someone had a bottle of Axe and walked around their TV lounge spraying out the entire bottle. I'm sure it dissipated some by the time they got ashore but it would literally make my eyes water.
Sounds like perfect parenting to me. Our pediatrician flat out told us not to stress when a toddler goes through a food obsession because they typically move on in a couple of weeks and over the course of a year, they get more or less what they need.
Everybody knows strawberries go best with ranch. What kind of monster would ketchup.
Load More Replies...Trying to make a long story short: My parents marketed a product featuring me, my brother, and a fictional sibling named "Lisa." Lisa was blamed for everything that went wrong within our family, including the failure of the product.
Would you like double-chocolate, gluten-free, abracadabra, fairy dust and glitter mocha instead?
Load More Replies...I’ll get a venti double-barrelled gremolata with extra autotune. Hold the gossamer, add 1 pump of dulcet.
DEFINIT--- oh wait no, boycotting means no cutesy nonsense either. Well I am DEFINITELY doing this after trump gets lynched
I'll sub out the potato salad for hash browns, and add potato pancakes
I'll call your potato pancakes and raise you 10 tater tots...
Load More Replies...So me as a kid, they would catch me stealing boiled potatoes out of the fridge and eating them cold like an apple
I've always talked to children the same way I would speak to anyone, and apparently that's why kids love me.
I get it's a joke, but we really did talk to our kids like adults. Not subject - but I mean we didn't use baby words. By the time they were toddlers / still very young, folks were commenting on how articulate they were. They were not geniuses. But it's unrealistic to teach them the things around them are a "mooey mooey" or a "woof woof" and then expect them to suddenly know some day that they are "cow" and "dog" without a transition time / relearning. TLDR: "baby talk" is a waste of time except maybe when they are literally a very young baby.
Exactly! Same with my kids and they were conversing with adults early on and reading way above their grade levels. I can't stand baby talk!
Load More Replies...Same, and now my preteens have an excellent vocabulary. However, they also curse like sailors.
Grandson in hospital, Flint Michigan, took the wrong exit. Stopped at a C-store to ask directions. Dude pumping gas gives directions.. several lefts and rights. "Never mind I'll take you, it's pretty close" we followed him about 10 blocks, refused an offer of $5 for his trouble. Perception of humanity restored.
As long as the person giving directions doesn't give the "you turn left where Cash's grocery used to be before the fire of '67" type of directions, then I'm usually fine.
My mother spanked me as a child. Never the same offense twice, but I learnt a loooooooooot of lessons I never needed again.
Encourage that. To you, it's long, boring, and unimportant. But to them, it's the biggest, most important thing in their life. Then they'll come to you when their lives begin to be more interesting and their problems more complex because they know you've always listened.
You nailed it exactly! Actually listen to you kids and show interest in their lives at every age if you want them to confide in you when they're older.
Load More Replies...Sometimes it can be a good thing! I mean, it helps with confrontations... and expressing feelings :D
some traits take time to develop, like how I inherited my dad's stupid dumb creaky knees that decided to start hurting when I turned 10
Someone once tried on my shoes while I was trying on new ones. I'm not very assertive IRL and didn't dare say anything. The woman at the till almost collapsed laughing when he asked what they cost and saw me sitting there with a bright beetroot red face. Thaaaat was awkward.
Use a color copier to mock up a post-it pad. It will be like Yosemite Sam opening castle doors.
If y'all want a good blast from the past read Kids Say The Darndest Things, inspired by the TV show House Party by Art Linkletter... its so many kids saying things that will just make you laugh so hard its so good. Got reminded of it reading this post
Gosh... I wish. 40 isn't even the halfway mark, darling. Life is short some say. Take it from me at 45... life is laaaaaaaaaawng
JC! That would happen to me! And then I'd have a fight with my mother justifying all my life choices. I'm 53.
In Australia you have to go to a liquor store (bottle-o) to get alcohol, so anyone in there is there for the same reason you are. My mum would be caught out far more than me because I can't be bothered going to a separate store unless I'm preparing for a party or something.
I was carded for buying wine coolers - the day AFTER I turned 30. The legal age was 21. My husband’s aunt and cousin were at the checkout with me 1988.
My parents said the same, I told them I'd be fine on my own, they only needed to pay the bills and send me food money. So, they changed their strategy telling me I'd be sent to foster care and have to share a room with other kids. Now, that sounded terrifying to me: I didn't wanna go to school because I could hardly tolerate being social for so long. Having to be around people 24/7 with no way to escape would've been my worst nightmare.
That's why I buy the big gallon of cheap ice cream for the kids, gives em a puke bucket for later. Hopefully not the same night after eating a gallon of ice cream, but who knows?
I have a small 20” tall plastic garbage bin in my bathroom. I just take the bag out and puke in that 😂
Yeah, well, guess what, kid? I asked for a time machine, some Cinderella shoes, and a pony - we don't always get what we want. 😜
But on a wonderful day in the distant future, you retire and none of that matters anymore because your memory is going, so it doesn't seem so bad.
Yup, I was that kid. Except french toast mind you, I knew that was special and a treat for my sister when I did something naughty
I only asked for anyone (don't care who) just to enjoy my company, talk with me without me having to pay and if miracles happens.. to try to love me.. even if it is only pretending
Magenta, this sounds like depression talking. I hope you're ok.
Load More Replies...Raising boys is a complete different things than rising girls. I started to realize that we should NOT teach everyone is the same, but to respect and recognize everyone else's differences.
Pretty sure raising a girl could result in the same thing. You don't need to use your genitals for it (I hope). I recall some times when my sister refused to eat and food ended up everywhere.
Of course it's possible, but there are also real distinctions between boys and girls that needn't be erased.
Load More Replies...I'm an identical twin myself, and honestly this happened so much when we were younger, we insulted one another to no tomorrow XD
Fraternal twin here, I completely understand 😂 constant roasting
Load More Replies...What did his dad do...? Also kind of makes sense tho, breaks are great
Wait... beta? Is the fish submissive, or an early software release?
Everyone should experience ice-cream for breakfast, even if it's only once.
My 6yo told my best friend that she was his 3rd best friend. When she asked who his first two were, he said he couldn't remember their names.
Or as Cosby once said when he got in trouble for giving the kids cake for breakfast.."what? it's got eggs!"
Perhaps the school was in Florida. Oh wait - I thought it said "holding off a crocodile".
Yes sir! Thank you for your work, sir! *shakes hand of kid* No but actually to be fair cops are great, I wish the restaurant we worked at let them eat for free.. we do give them a discount tho :)
Awwww I love this kid. You don't see as many wanting to be the good guy nowadays. I miss that.
worse is when you have to line it up over that pit with the net for an oil change. If I get this wrong, someone is going to die. Maybe me.
Helena, Where do you live that they let you do that? Most places move the cars into / out of the shop themselves and keep the customers out of the shop.
Load More Replies...exactly... and the car washers are frantically waving directions while you line up on that 2 inch square sweet spot
If you think about it, you're already in shape. Round is a shape too. Eating disorders are not a shape. If someone whines about that, eat THEM. ;)
And it doesn't matter how often they ride! My 6yo and I ride the city bus home from school 3 days a week, and it's the highlight of his day 😊
Load More Replies...To be honest, the busses are pretty darn good at Disneyland, anyone who's been on one has said they're all lifesavers. Its SO GOOD
I have a sneaking suspicion he knows exactly what she is doing.
He knows. He loves her and pretends. That is how you show true love.
I hate watching a show with someone who isn’t into it. I’d rather watch it on my own.
I'm on my 4th spouse, but THIS one is a real keeper. We each use earpods to listen to our own shows on our tablets every night. No pain, no suffering, no arguments, no drama, just peaceful glances now & then in response to some exclamation or reaction to the other's show/movie. BLISS!
Load More Replies...I'm not married, so people can correct me, but why watch things together if you don't both like them? Do you have to watch everything together? Surely sometimes it's nice to watch something at your own pace and not have to wait for your other half to be around?
Same here, I was confused for a sec, but glad to see I'm not as bonkers as I think I am. I like machining videos (shoutout to Cutting Edge Engineering), and certainly don't expect others to.
Load More Replies...That's why my husband and I have separate televisions. And yes, we get along just fine. We're married, not joined at the hip.
Sensible couple and I bet you love each other just as much as those who force each other to watch shows they don't like.
Load More Replies...The only thing hubs likes to watch on TV is football (soccer in US). Sorry but I'm not wasting precious minutes of my life watching it. Then every Saturday night, he'll want to watch Match of the Day....I'd rather gouge my own eyes out with a rusty spoon. My cue to go upstairs and watch what I like.
This made me laugh aloud multiple times, and I really appreciated it, thank you.
This made me laugh aloud multiple times, and I really appreciated it, thank you.
