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Carl Jung was one of the first people to define the terms introvert and extrovert in a psychological context; Jung described extroverts as preferring to engage with the outside world of objects, sensory perception, and action while introverts, according to him, are more focused on the internal world, are thoughtful and insightful.

The former usually have little to no trouble expressing their thoughts, feelings, and opinions—something we can't really say about the latter, which are often said to be shy or socially awkward and lack strong interpersonal skills. So in an attempt to understand them better, let's take a look at the Instagram account 'Introvert Nation.'

From getting a haircut to work and dating, it touches upon plenty of different aspects of everyday life and paints a pretty accurate picture of what it's like to be your own best friend. Continue scrolling to check out the content that 'Introvert Nation' has to offer and the conversation we had on the topic with writer Sophia Dembling, the author of The Introvert's Way: Living a Quiet Life in a Noisy World and Introverts in Love: The Quiet Way to Happily Ever After as well as psychologist Leon F. Seltzer, Ph.D., who—until October of 2020—had maintained a general private practice with clinical specialties in anger, trauma resolution (using EMDR and IFS), couples conflict, compulsive/addictive behaviors, stress control, and depression.

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    Seltzer said that many factors make someone an introvert, but the most prominent among them relates to interacting with others, which drains their energy. "It doesn't much matter what their social skills are or whether they actually enjoy the other's company, they still feel depleted after being in another's company for a substantial period of time," the psychologist told Bored Panda.

    "Because of this, they require more solitary time to regroup than do extroverts (who are energized, or re-energized, through socializing), which is one reason that, overall, introverts prefer to engage in solitary activities. They also prefer to write rather than speak, listen rather than talk, and small gatherings vs. large, boisterous parties."

    Dembling added that introversion is one of what personality psychologists call the Big Five traits (openness to experience, conscientiousness, extroversion—and therefore its opposite, introversion—agreeableness, neuroticism). "Some studies find that the brains of introverts are more active even in resting than those of extroverts, which causes us to be more easily overwhelmed/overstimulated," she explained.

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    There's also a huge body of research showing that extroverts are happier. But one recent study by the University of California, Riverside, psychologist Sonja Lyubomirsky and U.C. Riverside graduate student Seth Margolis suggests that simply acting like an extrovert might actually boost well-being—even for introverts.

    The researchers had 131 undergraduates initially undergo a number of assessments to set a baseline for their health and personality. Next, Lyubomirsky and Margolis asked the students to alter their behaviors in specific ways for one week. Some had to be more "talkative, assertive, and spontaneous"; others were instructed to be "deliberate, quiet, and reserved."

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    (Although these behaviors were not labeled extroverted or introverted, Margolis and Lyubomirsky essentially pushed the students to act within those categories.) At the week's end, the two groups took the same tests that had established their baseline, and then they reversed roles for the second week. Afterward, they took the assessments one last time.

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    The researchers analyzed responses to assess whether acting as an introvert or extrovert had any effect on well-being and discovered that leaning into extroverted behaviors resulted in participants reporting higher measures of well-being, including positive emotions, a sense of social connectedness, and flow (full immersion in an enjoyable activity).

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    The opposite was also true: people who acted more introverted than usual saw declines in well-being. "I kind of wish the research didn't show that, but it does," Lyubomirsky said.

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    Adrian
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If not on my contacts list, I don't answer - that's what answering machines are for. My contacts list has 17 entries.

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    Writer Sophia Dembling believes that Western society favors extroverts. "For example, many teachers grade students on class participation, which can be difficult for introverts, who do better in small groups, in writing, one-on-one," she explained. "Business also tends to favor extroverts. Introverts can find it difficult to shine in interviews, which are a form of performance, although research has found that while extroverts are better at getting the job, introverts are better at getting the job done."

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    "And introverts can have difficulty getting their voices heard in professional settings. In her excellent book The Genius of Opposites, Jennifer Kahnweiler suggests that introversion and extroversion should be treated as a diversity issue and that businesses do best with a balance of both and people who understand both," she added.

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    Anni
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I get busted sometimes. A colleague will approach and say “Are you okay?” Me: Damn you face!

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    Psychologist Leon Seltzer also supports this notion, but he doesn't think that extroverts have it better everywhere. "My understanding is that in the U.S., extroverts outnumber introverts, but that the opposite is true in other parts of the world, both in Europe and particularly in Asia," he said. "If you look at ads in this country, you'll see that having a good time is illustrated not by someone sitting quietly reading a book but by eating and drinking with friends, playing sports, riding bikes, and so on."

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    "Moreover, it does seem to be true that in some subtle and not-so-subtle ways, introverts in America are discriminated against, almost as though their preferences are somewhat perverted. Added to this, creative individuals tend more to be introverts than extroverts, and being alone is less associated with loneliness than it is with extroverts."

    Being an introvert can be challenging. Because they prefer quiet or alone time, some introverts can seem cold, aloof, or even antisocial to others that are more extroverted in nature.

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    "Being heard can be difficult; we need time to formulate our thoughts and are often talked over and through," Dembling said. "We also often take heat for our introversion, particularly young people. Kids are chastised if they would rather sit home with a book than go out and play with friends, and the party culture of college can be trying for introverts, who might even find themselves drinking too much in order to keep up with social demands."

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    Cat Palmer
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Followed shortly by anxious potato worrying everyone was just laughing out of pity. (Please tell me that's not just me!)

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    To make their lives easier, Dembling thinks introverts should take control of their socialization and do things they enjoy with people they enjoy rather than allowing themselves to always wait for invitations (which are often extended by extroverts to do extroverted things).

    "Figure out what you like to do and do the uncomfortable thing by extending invitations and you might find yourself enjoying people more," she suggested. "Also, the only way I can get myself to go to parties is if I promise myself that I can leave any time I want. Don't let anyone tell you the party will just fall to pieces if you leave; it won’t, and if you let yourself leave when you’re ready, you will find it a lot easier to say yes the next time."

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    Adrian
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    As an introvert, I love extroverts talking about their lives. That way I never have to say anything.

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    Java Addict
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    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I figure introverts have their own wavelength. Eventually I'll come across someone with a compatible one.

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    If you need any encouragement, keep in mind that you don't need to reinvent yourself to connect to other people. "Contrary to common belief, introverts are no less skilled than extroverts in socializing," Seltzer said.

    "In fact, because they're better listeners than extroverts and think first about what they're going to say before saying it—vs. extroverts, who need to discover what they think about something by first circling around it—as often as not, extroverts can learn as much about effective socializing from introverts as the reverse."

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    Nikki Sevven
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yes. Yes, we do want this ring. Also, if you must, living plants are better than cut flowers.

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    The bottom line is that there's nothing wrong with the fact that you're an introvert. Or an extrovert, for that matter.

    "The brain's reticular activating system determines whether one leans toward introversion or extroversion, and it's not anything that can change or needs to change," Seltzer added. "As a therapist, I've had people come to me to help me change them from an introvert to its opposite, and my response is that I can't do that, but I can help them to accept—and even celebrate—their introversion, which is not a defect."

    "If they do need to develop better social skills, I can help them achieve that, but it won't change their inborn disposition to find introverted thinking and activity more congenial than what's 'natural' to their extroverted counterparts. Nor should it be," the psychologist explained.

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    Casey McAlister
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yeah, I am like this. If I'm among other people, I actually want to be the center of attention. I mean, if I wanted to lie low, I'd just have stayed at home.

    Black Pearl
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That's me. I'm almost completely mute around strangers, but when I'm with my friends I'm a complete chatterbox. I ramble about the stupidest things ever. I can't believe they're not annoyed with me yet.

    L.V
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Me! I don't always know what to say, but if I do, there's no stopping me!

    Upstaged75
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm not loud but I'm not shy either. Some call it being an ambivert. I'm completely capable of managing in social situations and do like talking to people - but it exhausts me and I can't do it every day.

    François Carré
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    And a few hours later I'm in my bed, thinking about that one poor person who politely asked me about some specific topic I'm interested in, and how boring I must have been for the following 15 minutes I couldn't stop talking, and how desperate they looked.

    Blackstone
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Those shirts "Introvert but willing to discuss ____" are quite accurate for me. Video games, pets, science, and books mostly.

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    LrdSlvrhnd
    Community Member
    2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Honestly that's most introverts. If your introvert isn't loud, then they're probably not quite fully comfortable with you yet. It's okay. Give it time. And don't try to push it, that'll just slow down the process.

    Bittersweetie
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm the LIFE of the party and then turn off my phone for several days.

    ButFirstCoffee
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I’m the loud introvert. But when people start cutting me off and talking over me, I’m back to being the introvert who would rather be home. That’s why I love cancelled plans. They’re the best plans.

    Patrick McKemie
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I mostly buckle to social convention and "put on a show". I usually come off as "life of the party" or "he talks too much". I usually just want to go home.

    Random person
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Sounds about right. When I'm with my friends, I'm loud and seem extroverted, but anyone else? Ew, people.

    Chenga Animates
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    yep. this is me. I am the loud introvert. I hate people but if you put me in a social situation my brain switches to survival mode and I become *extra loud*

    aj B
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Almost every introvert has that One interest that will accellerate them to Extrovert if you indicate a desire to know about it. They will then talk about it in depth, and eventually be embarassed and apologize for boring you.

    Chris D'Asta
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I am a vocalist, play guitar, percussion and synths in a very loud Industrial band. I guess I just learned something about myself. Thanks.

    Zack Podany
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    People who don't know me can't figure out how to get me to talk. People who know me can't figure out how to shut me up.

    Micah
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yup, that's me. I often tell people "I'm good at going out, I just rarely want to."

    Cherreka Wirth
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yup that's me at work. Except then everyone gets mad at me cuz they want to hang out after work, and I'm just like "uh no, that's all the socializing I can handle. I only be around people when I have too. After I go home and ignore the world"

    Daniel O'Neal
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Go to any sci-fi, gaming, or anime convention and you'll see thousands

    Tom Nagel
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    In my spot, and a topic I'm passionate about comes up. 🖐️

    Sophia Atkinson
    Community Member
    2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    So me when I’m on the phone with my friends or when the idiot boys at school p**s me off and a screaming match happens

    Kady LaHaie
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You're talking about me. I hide from literally everyone but my voice is huge.

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    #37

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    Cat Palmer
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    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Once overheard someone asking a kid of about this age what she wanted for Christmas and she said "peace and quiet", and that kid is clearly my people.

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    The IRS
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Everyone in my first office hated high walled cubicles, I absolutely loved it. Put a door on that 8x8 box room and I'd be in heaven.

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    #47

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    Nikki Sevven
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I always thought this was a weird question to ask people. "What thing do you do for money to pay for the things you need?" Um, why do you want to know that? Are you measuring my worth by how much money you think I make?

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    #49

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    Artsy Bookworm
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Walking from your table to the washroom and back. Hardest thing to navigate ever especially in a crowded restaurant 😑

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    #51

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    Casey McAlister
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    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Because I'm bored with you and/or our conversation. But that's not the answer you wanna hear, so don't ask.

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    #55

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    Adrian
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Or the left jams, you call the emergency number and the operator says they'll send someone over urgently You reply "No hurry".

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    #57

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    Lori E
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Me, right now. Posting a comment on BP and deleting myself in 0.4 seconds. Ill stick to upvoting the professionals 😊

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    #59

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    CaptainDinosaur
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That's what I'ma start calling my dog; 'food motivated' as opposed to 'fat little s**t' which is his current handle.

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    #61

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    #62

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    Jacie Ray
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I one time just straight up said, "Look, I have social anxiety and don't know what to say, so I'm just gonna go now," and then just walked away. I'm over 40, you'd think I'd have this figured out by now, but nope. Still gotta Ralph Wiggam my way out of conversations 😂😭

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    #71

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    Enigma wrapped in a paradox
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This one totally depends on who I'm talking to. There are less than a handful of people I'll talk to on the phone. And that's because they only call in emergency situations

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    #74

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    Artsy Bookworm
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Am I sitting too close? Am I sitting too far? Do I smell? Am I breathing too loud? Just leave the seat! Me gets up and leaves...

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    #78

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    #82

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    dee dee
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Being with you is like being alone, but better. Read this in a fantasy book and can't remember which one.

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    Azolane
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I drive my husband nuts with that. I'll go around the store ten times, and come out empty handed if I don't find it, rather than talk to anyone.

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    #86

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    Poultry Geist
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I forget and have to ask “ wait ! What was I saying ? Oh yeah ! … “

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    #89

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    Happy Blue Panda
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    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Whenever someone gives me the silent treatment it's so pleasant to me

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    #94

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    #96

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    TKA
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I need this too! But incase anyone wants to learn something, there is something called the “yellow ribbon project” (I think that’s the name). Tie a yellow ribbon around your dogs leash or collar if they are not friendly. Or use a vest as shown. I had a yellow collar & leash on our reactive dog, they also said *caution* on both.

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    #101

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    gellert grindlewald
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    yes. do you say thanks? are you supposed to give them a compliment back (I do that a lot)? should you smile?

    #102

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    #103

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    #106

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    iseefractals
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Not necessary. We tried, it didn't work out, it was not meant to be.

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    Java Addict
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Step outside, see a neighbor step out, and run back inside til they're gone.

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    #111

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    Diana K
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    didn't realize it was an age thing, thought it was cause I might be on the spectrum..

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    #115

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    Nightshade
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    “It depends, what are you planning to do?” Hopefully something

    #116

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    Nightshade
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yes! Like, don’t you see the signs? Hopefully not, hopefully you just end the conversation for your own reasons.

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    BasedWang12.2
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I told my now X before we even started dating that "I will eventually disappoint you and you will hate me"..... Only took 6 years

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    Al Christensen
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Also my friends when they realize I left after only five minutes.

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    #125

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    Artsy Bookworm
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Well if the music is loud no one will insist on talking to you...

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    #137

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