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Have you ever stopped and wondered what God thinks of everything that’s going on in our world today? Well, if you have, you'll be glad to hear that The Almighty has a Twitter account. As of today, it has amassed more than 6.2M devoted fans while He Himself follows only one person on Earth—Justin Bieber.

The Tweet Of God is full of satirical jokes and razor-sharp humor that will hopefully brighten your day and help you let out a laugh or two. With the bio stating “Unverified; unverified”, the account is entertaining the internet with its hilariously witty tweets.

Bored Panda has collected some of the best posts God had to offer, so continue scrolling and upvote your favorite ones! Be sure to let us know what you think about them in the comment section below, and don’t forget to check out Part 1 of this post right here.

#3

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Amy Pattie
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2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The Bible literally talks about wearing a veil over your lower face when diseases. I don’t know where Christians find it discrimination when asked to wear one

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The voice behind The Tweet of God is David Javerbaum, a multi Emmy-winning American comedy writer from Los Angeles. He created the account in 2010 to promote his book, The Last Testament: A Memoir By God. Ironically, many people thought the book was actually a spin-off of the account since the latter took off so quickly.

Later on, he adapted both the book and the Twitter account into a play, An Act of God, which was performed on Broadway for two summers and then all over the world. 

Javerbaum is always playing his part, saying that he’s in fact working with and for God as a social media manager. He explained why the account is only interested in one person, Justin Bieber: “From what God told me, he only follows close family members. That’s all I could get out of him.”

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Grant Barke
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If that doesn't work, boot into safe mode and uninstall Satan.

Okatango
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2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My brother and I have a theory that black holes are really just God vacuuming up an experiment gone wrong.

Ryan Deschanel
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Has he not already done that before? With a lot of rain, and a guy in a boat?

Bacony Cakes
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

How do you find food in a desert? You eat the sandwiches there. But how did the sandwiches get there? They're biblical; Noah sent Ham, whose descendants mustard and bread.

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RoseTheMad
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Huh, well this explains what happens when my mind goes blank and I totally forget what I was doing

Qibli of the SandWings
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Maybe all of the stubborn and ignorant people will blink out of existence and leave all of the good nice men/women/children to start a clean slate :)

Joe Das
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

No, you just need an antivirus against humans (antihuman?)

Hermione
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Why don’t you just watch humans kill themselves off as they destroy their planet? That’s a kind of reset.

Dave Nalesnik
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Earth hasn’t worked right since it got all wet in that big flood…

J Garza
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I have a feeling if he turns it off he won't turn it back on.

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Julie C Rose
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2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

God made Jacinda and Jacinda banned my anti vax ex hairdresser from operating. :)

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If you’re trying to reach the comedy writer and have a little chat with The Almighty, don’t expect too much. He Himself posts a lot and sometimes even re-tweets with a snappy comment but does not participate much in conversations. “God replies to tweets exactly as often as he replies to prayers from other people,” Javerbaum said.

Even though The Tweet of God has many followers and is viewed as “the universe’s most popular unverified Twitter account”, it also went through some bad times. The account got hacked several years ago, which made Javerbaum quit for a year and a half. 

Also, Twitter suspended the account twice. One time, he used their blue badge in the background picture without their permission. “And that was just a purely legalistic suspension,” the founder of the account told The Last Laugh. “I was trying to imply that I was verified.” 

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The second time was in June 2019. “If gay people are a mistake, they’re a mistake I’ve made hundreds of millions of times, which proves I’m incompetent and shouldn’t be relied upon for anything,” the tweet stated. Twitter mistakenly thought of it as anti-gay. “So they got that one wrong and they realized it and I got back on,” the writer explained. “I let them know that their sense of irony had some deficiencies that ought to be corrected.” 

Last year, the founder went one step further and created a podcast called Godcast. “Well, I think of it as adapting a character. God is a character that I know very well. And he’s not any bigger of a character than any other character would be. He just happens to be God. But he’s, in many ways, just the cranky old man on the lawn of the universe. And I always thought that a podcast was the ideal form, more so even than Twitter, because it’s the voice of God.”

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BusLady
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Bless all the hard working health workers fighting to help these folks get well.

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Snorkeldorf
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I wonder if I'd find a good home where they'd keep me. I can be kinda moody and difficult. Don't get along with all hoomans although other dogs, cats and various critters are OK. Not a picky eater. I'm also loyal and protect my family fearlessly. Will not tolerate being crated after my youth. Hope I'd find a dog that would treat me like I always treated them. Paws (guess I would not have fingers) crossed!

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So it seems that David Javerbaum is fully engaged with this all-powerful character. Right now, he’s busy with publishing his response to King David’s The Book of Psalms titled The Book of Pslams: 97 Divine Diatribes on Humanity’s Total Failure

At the same time, the account is still going strong and continuing to entertain its followers with piercingly sharp humor. “The only time there would be no material for satire will be in a perfect world. And I don’t see that coming any time soon. I do think that if it were a perfect world, my [in]ability to make fun of it would be a small price to pay,” David Javerbaum said.

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Pearl
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2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Before he directs you to hell, that is. Antivaxxers should go to hell

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Monday
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Covid is the romantic partner from those crappy Hallmark movies. They'll change for you. They'll follow you around and keep trying even after you say no. They'll use your friends to get to you. They WILL get you one way or another.

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BlackestDawn
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

And in many cases it's not the opinion itself that others have a problem with, but rather the "fact" you use to base said opinion on. By that I mean that if you used actual facts you most likely wouldn't have that opinion.

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Chris Lehr
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Took a while but you showed up in the UK recently. Cheers for that. Now we look like we’re run by American.

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BusLady
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

No, you're not. She just couldn't wait to make heaven a sweeter place.

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Grant Barke
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Are you telling me Hitler and the Nazis are not being tortured for eternity. Now I'm mad as hell.

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RandomX123
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I wish devolution was a thing. I want to "drop on the deck and flop like a fish". Too bad the Anti-vaxxers wouldn't get to evolve to obtain average human IQ if that were to happen

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WilvanderHeijden
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It's also very interesting to know that the ones claiming to be the "Silent Majority" are in fact the Loudmouthed Minority.

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Mr.Knaps
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

honestly if you're unvaccinated and proud of it you don't deserve treatment

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XenoMurph
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Most peopoe who do their own research choose to take the vaccine. Most people who claim a youtube video is research are morons.

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Dillon Hughes
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2 years ago

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No crap. So why do all the snowflakes act like their entitled to them?

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WilvanderHeijden
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

But beliefs never grow up because than they would have to face reality.

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WilvanderHeijden
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Blame social media who have acted as a platform for all the Holocaust deniers, flat earthers, anti-vaxxers, incels, racists, fascists and sexists. Because profit is more important than anything else.

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El muerto
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

the whole of human history is about trying to see how stupid we can be. there is universe of stupid to explore.

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Dillon Hughes
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2 years ago

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Your immune system has been proven many times to fight off covid, anerage healthy person, especially with the proper vitimans and nutrients. Is real Germany Ireland scientists have proven it many times.

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Buren
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

No wonder it flies again after I managed to smack it dead!

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Grant Barke
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Thanks for the heads up but I think we are aware of that already.

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WilvanderHeijden
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

And you could have prevented it by giving him 3 strokes. Strike 3, you're out.

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I I
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Dont worry , i ask that most days , cos , like , life , but i dont need to tell you that now do i

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El muerto
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

what about existence? if that is not ground for an apology, I don't what is

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Julie C Rose
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Based on how I was doing when I got my first vax, you don’t have to be absolutely sure.

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BusLady
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2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That's the secret of life. We need to figure it out for ourselves.

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Khavrinen
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Unfortunately, there's a whole lot of immoral people out there.

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WilvanderHeijden
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Neither do we. And if, by chance, we happen to have one, you are there to mess it up.

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I I
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

pointless , even if we had the second coming we'd either do the same as last time , or he'd be in the nut house or living on skid row with all the other "Jesus's" and "Gods" as SOCIALISM!!!!!!!

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