This is the best one!

“But it was cheaper!”

And she never will...

TRUE!

I am 100% on board with this proposal.

Myrna can be b****y when she wants to be!

Lile the half the internet

OH MY GOSH SHE DIDNT

THIS IS SO TRUE! Vanilla essence is terrible and ruins cookies.

On behalf of my sister named Joann, who just so happens to enjoy comphy fabric..you are forgiven.

:-D

That's a public service!

And everybody's sayin' that there's nobody meaner Than the little old lady from Pasadena

I do the same. Clearly I am the alpha lobster

Sorry Myrna, sometimes it's not always about trends but about allergies XD

Like a cannon!

A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat!

Translation: You gave the host the 'finger'.

Yes, and i would like the sweater with zebra print cantaloupes, please.

I've never understood decorative soaps. What do you do with them after 30 years.

Lead us into temptation and deliver us to Cinnabon.

A fashion faux pas!

You get her, Myrna. You GET HER!! Grr...

He is not a crook

"Dead Cow" Estates? Was this lost in translation? (LOVE the toaster cozy by the way). My Grandmother had clothing for all of her kitchen appliances and a box for the bread.

I witnessed my mom invent this joke. At least, she had discovered the last half of it when we told her it was already a thing. She was so sad because she thought she was the first to think of it.

And no greater shame than falling to temptation and eating them all in one night...I'm not allowed advent calendars anymore...

Freaking Joan

Invest one day of your life. Welcome all kids on your doorstep. Let them sing, let them perform. And award them with apples, grapes, tangerines etc. Glow your best smile at the look on their faces. Word will spread.

Despite laminating my rage, I’m still just a rat in a cage

This is the philosophy I have with "dry clean only". Oh really? Let's see.

"Satan's symphony." I have tears.

With our elbows if our hands were full!

only micro?

That happened with my Dad frequently... Click-click..click-click...click-click.. "Dad..do you have your blinker on again?" "You just won't let me leave that on will you!?!"

My wife does the exact same thing! And she is 35...

The hashtag is at the end! adorablytrending#

BAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Better than a store bought cake. Lol

pyrex. Harder than any man as well

And disgusting, too!! Went to deli for potato salad, wanted to know what's San Francisco style? "Oh, that's the sweet one made with Miracle Whip." Gag me with a spoon.

Sounds like a wonderful day to me

Damn! Someone's gonna need some lotion for that BURN.

The next day I count my leftovers

Who uses a magazine as a coaster anyway? It's time to excommunicate her.

I pretend I'm deaf and sign "No thank you" at them.

Why didn't you name the boy Easton West? I lost money people!

I am so guilty of this.

I love hummus though.

Wait what? People made cauliflower into rice?

hehehe

Chaos . I tell you. Total chaos!

Unless it's IHOP or Waffle House.......in which case a sticky menu is a quality check.

Cuz if you can't show up on time for Jesus, then you just shouldn't show up....

Young Hip Replacement?

swiffer like you have never swiffered before

From there, it's just a short step away from leaving your outdoor Christmas lights up till June...

Forward that to me please?

😂😂😂😂😂😂 all of these have made my horrendous week feel do-able again. Many thanks!